Sex and the hubby

Should busy working women be blamed for straying husbands?

Did you read the papers today? This particular news was on NST and I thought, “I do have my own 2-cents worth of thoughts actually”

I think that it is a grave situation that married men and women now have to face. It is like the chicken and egg argument. Like a catch-22 situation.

In this modern world where the cost of living is skyrocketing and people are living from paycheck to paycheck, it is difficult to tell a woman to stay at home and be a homemaker. Very few are privileged enough to be able to do that and still lead comfortable lives. So, is it fair to blame the woman for working when all she is trying to do is to take some burden off her husband’s back?

There are of course those who still choose to work though their husbands can to afford to finance them and the family without them contributing financially. And maybe these are the women people are blaming for causing rifts in the family tie since they are so busy chasing their careers.

Let me tell you something, though. Working gives us (well, me at least) the adrenaline rush I need to stay alive. Complain as I may about not wanting to wake up to go to work, there is something about work which makes me keep on going back for more.

Be it the colleagues, the environment, the hour long drive, the work itself; I have no intention whatsoever to quit in the near future because I need this job. Not just for the money, but also for my own sanity. (though for now, money is important, I won’t lie)

In times to come, there may be a possibility that I will get married. And of course I would love it if my husband could take care of me without me having to contribute a penny to it. But does that mean I would quit my job to stay home and make home per se? No. Exactly.

I don’t know what’s causing the problem, actually. Maybe the fact that I have working parents and they have been together for 27 years (and counting, insyaAllah) confuses me, as to why people can’t seem to balance between being a wo/man at work and a wo/man at home.

For me, in a relationship, someone needs to strike the balance. If the husband wants the wife to make home, he has to work doubly hard to make sure he can make her comfortable. But of course it should not be at the expense of her giving up her career. It’s okay if she wants to work, so long as she knows where to draw the line. And that to me, is what women in general are lacking; the knowledge of where the line lies.

And when I make reference to career, I do hope that women would reflect upon themselves and think, “What am I chasing?”

Because to me, there is so much more than a career to a woman. So, so, so much more. And that may sound awfully traditional to some of you who are awfully career-driven, but we do live in an eastern society. We cannot help but want to be wives (or asked very often when we would be), to become mothers, and homemakers (while still doing our day job, for some of us).

But can a marriage really work if the woman just stays at home and doesn’t go to work? Would that on it’s own help? No. Because though men love doting women who make them feel “manly”, the excitement also comes from what goes on in her head. What she feels and what her opinions are.

Having said that, I do think that the most important thing is a balance. I know that the world would be such a boring place if everyone were nice, but where a marriage is at stake, what’s important is not to be nasty about it by pointing fingers to one party or the other.