December 24, 2010


12 is my favourite number for very obvious reasons.

We all seem to like our birth dates, don’t you think so? And I kind of think that is normal.

Coincidentally, my favourite quote (so far) in a book which Busu lent me is at page 12.

It says,

I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy and focus to, whether positive or negative.”

That is keeping me quiet for a while.

Since I can now open FB in the office, I have the luxury of going through the photos in which I was tagged in. I came across the photo above and smiled at the memory. Oh, just in case you are wondering who that guy in the middle is, he was my OP.

There are numerous comments on this photo. A lot of them focus on the subject in the centre, of course, and some comments were made as to why the Groom (the one making the face like Johnny Bravo, dahlah nama pun Johnny, hahaha) was making such a face. It’s such a funny sight and the comments which ensue get even funnier.

But one comment focused on a more centrifugal figure.

And no matter how many times I read the comment, I feel my heartstrings being tugged at. I’m too proud to admit how much of mush this photo is making me because I know that it’s so silly. (I think I just admitted though, haha)

It doesn’t even focus on me.

And as much as I’d like it to be so, I know that whatever that makes sense to me doesn’t necessarily make sense to any other person, for we are all different. So, even though it is silly, it doesn’t matter.

And so, it makes sense that sometimes, we focus on the more centrifugal things in life because it matters to us much more than it matters to others. What may be centrifugal to people might just be the centre of our world?

Easier said than understood, I know. But that’s okay. No right or wrong one, just different lah ;). Kan Eka?

Just like the memory of the photo above.

Oh, good times they were. And good times to come, insyaAllah.

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December 23, 2010

everybody's changing.


I began today with reminiscence. I probably will begin everyday with reminiscence from now onwards.

I left old songs to loop and eventually, I left Everybody’s Changing to play on its own.

It was such a long time ago. It has been so long since the last time I heard that song. But that doesn’t make the song any less important or less significant in any way.

Nice song, isn’t it?

It’s a wonder how songs can affect us and how some songs can tell us more stories about ourselves more than the rest. And although that chapter of my life has now passed, I still remember some things every time it plays. Hmm.

Moving on. Work has been kind of hectic of late. I have been sleeping a lot and have trouble waking up every morning. The weather is to blame, of course. It gets so cold at night that the only thing you can think of the moment the alarm rings is to snuggle deeper into your duvet because that seems like the right thing to do. Although it’ll cost you and you know it. We’re such weird creatures, don’t you think?

But be that as it may, we all change. And right now, everybody’s changing and I don’t feel the same.

But that’s okay. We’ll all change and we won’t feel the same. And that, we can’t control.

What we can determine, though, is whether for better or for worse.

I’d go for better, any time. Of course, dengan izin Allah. InsyaAllah ;)

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December 22, 2010

waiting outside the lines.

I was an athlete back in school.

I ran 4 x 100 in school. I was always the first runner. But that was not because I was the fastest but because I insisted. I insisted because I couldn’t grasp the concept of someone passing the baton to me.

I had to be the first one passing the baton.

Don’t get me wrong, I did try once in a while to receive the baton rather than being the first to pass it, but more often than not, I dropped the baton when I received it. No matter how ready I was, I was always taken by surprise. Somehow.

I know why, though.

The baton came from the back and I was running forward. Sometimes, I had to look back to see if my teammate was coming any closer. Then, I would see whether or not she was slower or faster than the other teams.

And that makes me lose my focus and of course, lose my speed. I know now that being the subsequent runners is a skill and an art. My job as a first runner was only to begin and to make sure that I was the first team to reach my second runner. But of course, that doesn’t make me any less important of course.

Because I was always the first to face the music. I was always there at the starting line. The white chalk beneath my spikes (or at times, just bare feet) unnerved me. Foul starts made me want to vomit. I felt the burning sensation of sprinting even before my sprints began.

And when I finally reached my second runner, I’d have to wait with bated breath until my last runner makes her victory run. Or not.

Somehow, that athletic streak stuck with me up until now.

I find comfort in the burning sensation in my chest every time I run out of breath. Disturbing, I know. Only now, I am a lone runner, sprinting. Just sprinting.

And right now, I feel like I am at the starting line, just like old times. Complete with pre burning sensation and everything. And after so many years of practice, I still can’t be taken by surprise.

Except good surprises, of course. Even then, I’d still cry.

I’m waiting just outside the lines. For good and better reasons, I am sure of, insyaAllah.

I’m waiting. I’m waiting.

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December 17, 2010

the memory keeper.

It’s a long lunch hour and here I am in the office.

I do not know what is causing me to not want to go out during lunch hour but I have faith that it is a good reason, whatever it may be.

I have eaten my lunch and I am in the process of fattening myself up. I think everyone around me will grow fat with all their attempts to make me fat because they are eating along with me. It’s a sad and kesian story for them, but well, it’s a true story.

Every time I go online, it’s like I have a thousand words all ready in my head.

It’s just sometimes, I find that I am lost for words despite those 1000 words. I am in a reflecting mood. I am reflecting all that I have done in the past years, way back to those times when I started to remember. I am a memory keeper.

After all these days perhaps couple of weeks I have been away from my blog, I have come to realise more and more that I am a memory keeper and that I have this storage in my head whose capacity I cannot gauge. There is so much in here (my head), I’m not sure whether I love it or hate it at this point.

Point is, I am in a reflecting mood. I am thinking of all I have said and done and I wonder about how it has affected people, in general.

So, now that I am here, reflecting and remembering oh so many things, I would like to apologise for all that I have said and done. Because I am sure that there are other memory keepers out there as well who simply cannot forget or let go of what I have said to them or any wrong I have done to them. Intentionally or not.

Memory keeper needs to get back to work right now because memory keeper was not paid to think of memories at work. Memory keeper is way random today. Way random.

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when did it all start?

When did it all start?

I wish I knew the answer, but does it really matter.

Someone asked this rhetorical question which made me wonder.

I think it began when we all grew up (and got our drivers license). It also reached a total high a year before Atuk’s passing. He always brought us together. Whether we liked it or not. What a wise man he was.

We grew up and found comfort in knowing that although we are all different and can never ever quite be the same, we are who we are and we love each other as is.

Sometimes, you make my heart soar, sometimes, you make me sad. But ultimately, the constant factor is you. All of you. You make my heart melt with all your silly gestures and you make me think about the things I have never thought of thinking. You people inspire me to a point where I wonder where all those little girls have hidden and the things you have been through to get to where you are; the things that have made you grow.

You people make me cry yet kiss my tears away the moment they roll down my cheek. You people teach me that love comes in many different forms. And with you, I find comfort in the silence that engulfs us. Bile rises in my throat every time I think of us. Sometimes they are happy thoughts. Sometimes, they are sad ones.

I read through old blog posts and messages and wonder; how did we get from there to here?

So much has changed. But that’s what life is all about isn’t it? Change. Inevitable. But it will come to you. Whether or not you like it.

In years to come, will we change more than we will it? Definitely, I can guarantee so. But whether or not for better or for worst is something only we can determine.

I don’t know why I came up with this post, but its probably because I got these pictures. Credits to Sarah. Photos from 27112010 at my house for Kenduri Doa Selamat and Tahlil.

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A penny for my thoughts,
Oh, no. I’ll sell them for a dollar,
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner,
And maybe you’ll hear the words I’ve been singing,
Funny, when you’re dead how people start listening.

-The Band Perry

How true.

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December 06, 2010


Yesterday was nothing short of amazing. It must have been one of the best days of my life so far. What a great, great day it was; from start to finish, everything was just amazing. Amazing.

You’ve never really seen me lost for words. Now, I am.

Friends are family we choose for ourselves, and I am more than glad I chose all of you.

Yesterday was what I needed and it was so much more.

Much ♥

You are all amazing.

Trust me, I will come up with a longer post than this, just not now okay, lovelies ;)?

Teaser should suffice for now :)

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December 03, 2010

I’m sorry.

I have been brought up in way where we were taught not to bitch about each other, as much as we possibly could.

I have been brought up in a way where we all acknowledge that life is not a bed of roses, or rather;

life is a bed of roses, with all the thorns on and still intact.

And so, when we have a problem with each other, we thrash it out. And my, my, my. It gets so painful sometimes. But we always emerge better. We always emerge stronger. We always emerge with love, oh yes, so much of it, you have no idea.

And that’s the way things go and are still going ‘til this very day. We try as much as we can to not bitch about each other because that’s just not the way to go.

So, when people pull faces at me when I do something wrong and expect me to understand body language of some sort (distancing oneself from me etc. for long periods of time) and expect me to actually broach him/her like I acknowledge that there is a problem, I refuse to do so.

Because to me, if you’ve got a problem, say what you need to say to me. Or forever hold your peace.

So, when I found out about something unbecoming that was happening, which I didn’t like, as it is an issue closely related to me, I decided to practice what I preach. I broached the issue and confronted the subject.

The thing with me is that I like to imagine what things would be like before they actually happen. So, I play and replay the scene in my head before I actually went on with my plan.

But it didn’t turn out to be the way I imagined.

It turned out to be better.

Sometimes, we’ve got to look back at all those old idioms and know for a fact that they were created because they are true and based on countless observations of mankind.

Honesty is the best policy.

I went along with that because I knew that I couldn’t do it any other way for me to heave the burden off my chest and shoulders.

And like I said, it turned out different. But it turned out better. Because all I did was to say what I needed to say in earnest. Because my aim for that meet was for him/her to find out exactly what it was that I thought and felt and most importantly, where I was coming from.

And I was coming from nowhere but the heart.

And thereafter, I aimed to never have a grudge about the issue or person anymore since I know that grudges and hate suck the life out of me like Dementors do. My aim was to clear the air and I did just that.

Alhamdulillah. I feel so much calmer now. Thank you.

All because I did it in earnest,

and because I had a clear aim of what I intended to achieve.

Now, let's put that smile on our face, and move on :)

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December 01, 2010


Someday you'll turn the radio on, I hope it takes you back to that place,
When you think happiness,
I hope you think that little black dress,
Think of my head on your chest,
And my old faded blue jeans.

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November 30, 2010


A piece of my mind.

I hate to talk about work because I know there are silent readers at work who actually read this and when they meet me in the office, they either look me straight in the eye with the “I know” look or evade me altogether because they know things about me, some of which I don’t really want people to know.

But like I said, I write. And I have tried to go private with this blog before and that didn’t help with anything at all.

So, I don’t care. Let’s talk about work.

We are currently in the process of organising some event for Mid December. Organising yourself, organising a trip, organising events and organising events at work are all different facets of the same thing; each with their own modus operandi, each with different requirements.

Thing about organising events at work is that it is work, so there are certain procedures you need to adhere to and a lot of people who get away with just about anything. And then, there are people like ME, who do EVERYTHING.

For the past 2 weeks, my phone has not stopped ringing. People with queries, people with problems, people with doubts, people with no money. All kinds of people. I am a people person, so really, I am okay with that actually.

What I am NOT is someone who TOLERATES people who aren’t team players. I mean, it’s easy to say that you don’t know how to do something and just play dumb isn’t it? When people ask you whether or not you are used to organising events, you can simply say NO and get away with it?

What the Hell?

I can’t and won’t say the same because I know how capable I am and can be, but sometimes, when people get away with just about anything, just because they say they DON’T KNOW, that pisses me off BIG TIME.

I wonder what that huge paycheck is for? Isn’t it for you to learn things which you don’t know? Isn’t it for doing everything that your boss asks you to do? IF I CAN, I DON'T SEE WHY ANYONE ELSE CAN'T.

If someone of such stature can just act dumb AS IF s/he REALLY does not KNOW anything, whereas, all that person is doing is to not care enough to actually LEARN, I don’t know what is going to happen to us.


I sometimes just give up with the system where people get away with anything.

Oh, oh. The best part is that when it comes to showing that you actually DO some work, like being the liaison officer for some big shot, LAJU GILA JE.

I GIVE UP. Lebih baik berhenti kerja je. No, not me, but those yang tak buat kerja sungguh-sungguh tu.

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November 29, 2010

jump baby jump.

the one i like is a combination of number 7 in first picture and 4 in second picture.

Fashion and I, we have never really been in tandem.

I have gone through years before now, where I tried hard to be someone else, so hard that I even dressed (or attempted to) dress like them and now that I am more comfortable in my own skin, I figured that I should, by all means, wear something which I am most comfortable in.

After all, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Since yesterday was my (window) shopping day, I wanted to try many, many things on. But of course, you only have so little time and so much to do, so I couldn’t. But I made it a point to try the one thing I have always wanted to try on – jumpsuits.

I’m scrawny.

Though I don’t really believe it when people tell me that I’m small because I’m not the small kind of small as in Super SS kind of small, but like I’ve mentioned before, I have to, to a certain degree admit that I am scrawny because of my disproportionate body stats.

So, anyways, we went to this shop called Message. Some of their pieces are like dirt cheap! They can go for as low as RM9 per piece at times. But the jumpsuit I saw didn’t cost that cheap, of course. But I tried it on anyway.

I’ve got to say that I was surprised with the reflection I saw in the mirror…

In my head, I never thought I would look like I did yesterday. Although I did make fun of the jumpsuit at first,

“Adik, rasa-rasa seluar dia nampak macam seluar PJK kita masa kita kecik-kecik tak?”

“Adik tak rasa ke bontot Akak nampak macam jatuh pakai ni?”

And Adik goes,

What bontot?”

“ T_T" ”


Anyways, I went home happy and satisfied, knowing that the one thing I have never really considered wearing, but always wondered what I would look like in, actually looked good on me. I am actually contemplating about buying it, although I wished it didn’t cost as much as it did.

Korang weekend ni apa theme colour dia? *grins sheepishly*

Where are we going? And what’s the plan? My mom has given the green light. Do I need to wear something new or something blue? Hahaha. Mengada.

Because that jumpsuit is navy blue. *drools*

Probably I should stop at OU after work today.

Oh, did I already mention how lucky I feel to have a little sister? Adik, tak payah la pergi sekolah :(

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We’re taking everything off.


Yesterday, I got my very much needed break.

My siblings brought me out (although I was the one who drove), HAHA and we headed to One Utama, where else. One Utama, the “playground” which I have not visited for eons now since OnlyGodKnowsWhen.

Since I was a little jakun and the Year End Sales have begun, I think I stopped at almost all shops to try this and that. Shoes are selling like hot cakes and the prices are so reasonable I felt like bagging everything that I liked! But of course, I didn’t.

That’s because I had something else in mind. Adik went shopping earlier last week and she was one happy monkey when she came home, alright. Turns out that she bought new girly-essentials for to-die for prices! I didn’t know how therapeutic buying girly-essentials could be. That was until yesterday, of course.

I mean, I have always known that splurging and spending money can somehow make you one happier cow, but buying girly-essentials brings you to another euphoric high altogether! I kid you not. I got 5 girly-essentials for an amazing price and I feel amazing. The salesgirl was really helpful too and I’ve got to say, she’s got some class. She picked all 5 girly-essentials in all kinds of colours and I bought them all. It’s as if she knew my taste or something!

Next time you go to Audrey , Parkson One Utama, look for Cynthia. She’s a great salesgirl. She also doesn’t make you feel so awkward when she teaches you how to wear it right.

Gee, I really had no idea they could make me so happy. Haha, you can count the amount of exclamation marks as proof of how excited I am.

Yes, I know that the promotion has ended, but I still think that they are priced more reasonably than some other brands even when the sales are not on. And I’m sure there are more promotions to come in the future because hey, this is the Year End Sales period, isn’t it?

I sure do love this period, alright ;)

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November 26, 2010

my heart soars.

You have no idea how the littlest thing can end up being the biggest thing to ever matter.

You have no idea how one text message can make one person's world turn around.

You have no idea how little it takes to make a person's heart soar.

I am feeling on top of the world right now.

I feel like crying, laughing, smiling and jumping up in the sky.

I feel like hugging anyone who passes by me just to prove how happy I am.


My heart soars. Just because. ;)

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

November 25, 2010

the choices you make.

Last weekend we attended Batul’s wedding.
(I will eventually blog about it, just not right now okay?)

It was a really, really hot day. It got me thinking about what I would love on a hot day. An umbrella? Ice cream? A cold drink? Cendol? Air-cond? A good book? Or what?

Then, it got me thinking about choices. In a world where most things come easy, we have never been faced with a situation where we are asked to choose between 2 (or more) very essential things. Because we know that we can afford to have it all. But what if we were asked to pick just 1 out of 2 choices? Which would we choose?

The things I can think of, just off the cuff at the moment would be:

Water vs. electricity?

I choose water. Travelling around the world has taught me that you can go crazy without water.

Drink vs. Food

I would pick drink, of course. I cannot go a day without plain water.

Losing your wallet vs. losing your handphone/smartphone (whichever is applicable huahuahua perli diri sendiri)?

If it were up to me, I wouldn’t want to choose any of the 2 but to be very, very honest, I would hate losing my phone more than losing my wallet. All those contacts are very, very important!

Mother vs. Father?

Tough, isn’t it? Of course you don’t want to choose. But what if God asked you that question? Which one would you pick? Would you be able to live with yourself for making that choice, whichever that may be?

Well, these are just some of the things I can think of at the moment.

When I think of these tougher choices, it makes every other choice I have to make seem trivial, doesn’t it? Like whether I should get a BB or an iPhone. Or whether I prefer a holiday in a hot or cold country? Or whether I should go out for lunch or stay in. Or whether I prefer Blogspot or Wordpress?

Come to think of it, the more trivial things are just about opportunity cost, rather than real choices, right?

But of course, I suspect that this revelation would probably only last for 3 days for me, tops, since we do get everything pretty easily nowadays. We are, after all, a generation which is spoilt for choice.

But I really do wonder, for all those 4 things I thought of just now, which would you choose?

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November 24, 2010

please, bear with me.

I am the kind of girl who writes.

Yes, I write. My blogging “career” (so-called, I don't even have NuffNang) began for illogical reasons, but for some reason, this is the only form of social networking which I am not willing to lose or give up unless my life depended on it.

I don’t mind that I am no longer active in Friendster. I don’t care much about MySpace. And I haven’t logged on to my Facebook account for the longest time now, only getting notifications and messages via email and I really don’t have a care in the world for what goes on there, but this blog,

I make the time for.

It may seem like I am taking too much time off during work to spend here. Or that I curi tulang in a way or another. But to me, it’s better than me bitching about some stranger or not so stranger with other people during office hours. Either its better or its just the same.

Either way, it’s better for me to write about what I observe and what I feel (I think) while keeping people’s identities safe, rather than talk about specific people who I sometimes think don’t really deserve to be bi**ched about so much. By nature, I’m not really mean, so it sort of hurts to talk about other people too much especially if I don't really have much of a problem with that person.

I love reading my old posts. Really, I do. No matter how chauvinistic that may seem to you. And no matter how stupid some posts are.

Sometimes, I read my posts from 4 months back or it could be from 2 years back. Just to see what it was that was going on in my life back then, and how I handled it. And then, I learn. It’s amazing how much you can learn from yourself. Honestly, try it and you’d be surprised.

I am in the process of learning something about myself at the moment. And I concede to the fact that I have been too overwhelmed with some things off late so much so that it affected the bigger picture which is more important.

I am learning every single day, that learning is an ongoing process.

The difference between me and you and you and you and all of you is the path we are learning on and the ways in which we are take those lessons to heart.

I feel like spilling words on my blog today. So, please bear with me ;)

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Swiftly now.

If anyone were to ask me my favourite song, it would be?


And my second favourite song is,

Tim McGraw!

Artist? Taylor Swift!

I feel like such a teenager for liking her songs. I know that they by right, should appeal to those in their teens, but really, I can’t help it. When she sings, it’s as if she is speaking to you from the heart ‘til you find it possible to relate to her in one way or another.

So, yes, my favourite song is Fifteen and I think Taylor Swift is pretty. So what?

I've always loved her songs. But this whole Swift thing reached a high when we were watching the American Music Awards. She has grown so much from the first time I downloaded (ooops) all her songs without knowing how big she really is going to be. And when we were watching the AMAs, her great talent really just shone through.

We were quizzing: Whose concert would we go to if that artist came to Malaysia?

Swift’s definitely!

The rest just disappointed me with their terrible live voice! Especially Rihanna, Katy Perry and even Enrique! (panggil nama macam kawan-kawan pulak). It’s apparent now that even if you’re a great singer, you may not be as popular as those with good songwriters and good choice of songs.

Because from the looks of it, great songs sell, but great voices don’t really.

Anyway, the next time you so much as get a whiff of news that she is coming to Malaysia, please do tell me. I probably will be one of the older ones in the crowd T_T", but I really do think that her songs are nice and very singalongto.

And did I already mention that she is gorgeous?

Hmm. Terasa macam sick fan pulak.

But seriously, okay? Siapa nak bawak saya pergi Swift concert? My last concert was some time May this year. Ish.

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November 23, 2010

did you miss me on blogspot?

Dear Facebook Visitors (and regular visitors as well of course),

I know that you are all wondering. I have never gotten this much traffic from Facebook before and the past week has been the most yet.

I know you are wondering.

I know you are waiting for me to come out here, give a story because word has it that I must tell the story, even if I tell it to myself, and no one else.


This blog is my happy place.

When I first began blogging some time in 2004, I opened my old, now private blog, so that I could talk about my heartache. Because you’ve got to remember that at some point, people stop listening because their lives move on. And so, you find your own way to move on too.

So, I talked to myself.


This blog is my happy place.

Out of all the blogs I created, this is the only one which began with my 22nd birthday. Best year of my life so far.

So, I’d like to keep this blog my happy place.

Though I sometimes forget that even blogging has a (silent) standard rule of thumb of its own.

This past week has been taxing, emotional, reflective. People make mistakes without realizing. People forgive. People love. Love or the lack of it can move one’s world in ways unimaginable.

Let’s begin again. But in baby steps.

If you miss me rambling, I miss me rambling too.

But sometimes, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.

As of now, I have no comment. Even if a lot of you are wondering (I think) about my version of things. I really, simply, have no comment.

Love or the lack of it can move one’s world in ways unimaginable.

And as of now, my favourite quote would be:

"Hawa dijadikan dari tulang rusuk kiri Adam.
Bukan dari kepala untuk dijadikan atas,
bukan dari kaki untuk dijadikan alas,
tetapi dari sisinya,
dekat di lengannya untuk dijadikan teman hidup,
dekat dengan hatinya untuk disayangi.."

We make mistakes, we learn everyday. And we thank Allah for that opportunity.


Love, Me

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November 15, 2010


For your own post rahsia, here's the tutorial.

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November 12, 2010

kotak katik.

One more lesson I am learning from all this wedding preps is that… boxes aren’t easy to fold. My parents went to Sin Yin on Wednesday to collect the boxes and since I was able to go home earlier on Wednesday, I began folding them.

My target? 50 boxes per day.

So that means that I’ll be done in about 3 weeks (supposedly). And that also means that the production line, which includes Mama and Adik can start decorating them memandangkan mereka berdua creative and Adik lebih kental *Adik je faham*. And that also means that I can begin folding the boxes for nikah pula. And also boxes for kids.

Sungguh tak creative kan? Balik-balik guna boxes.

Tapi percayalah, when your household is only made of so few people and safe and easy transportation of goods from home to venue is the main concern, you have to choose something practical. Mungkin we’ll get adventurous with the VIP doorgifts. Maybe saja lah.

Anyways. On Wednesday night, I only managed to finish 10 boxes. I began at 10 p.m. and finished at 12 a.m. I don’t know how long I took just to figure out how to lipat the lines on the boxes apatah lagi nak melipat box menjadi box dengan betul. I only got the hang of it at the 9th box.

Untuk puaskan hati, I decided to buat another box after the 10th box.

So, all in all, 11 boxes in 2 hours. Kalau kerja kilang pasti dah kena pecat. No doubt! Tapi apakan daya. Somehow, motor skills sedikit kurang on Wednesday hence the slow pace.

Semalam, lepas dinner (around 8.30 p.m.), I decided to start again.

My target? Finish the remaining boxes.

The only break I took was to bathe and to solat. Mission accomplished? No, sadly, no. By the time it was 12 a.m., saya dah terlentang atas lantai with the penutup of the box, half-folded. If Mama didn’t come up to my room, I think I would have remained asleep on the floor sampai pagi ni.

Achievement yesterday? 20 boxes dengan penutup. 10 boxes tanpa penutup.

Slowly does it, slowly. Aikenduit. Yeah right. Hey, of course I can, right right right?

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

November 11, 2010

now, i know why.

I’d be honest.

When my friends were preparing to get married, I never quite understood why they didn’t have time for anything other than the wedding.

Now, I know that when you decide to get married, the wedding consumes a huge part of you. And any thoughts of marriage consume the whole of your life. No matter how excited you really are about it.

Considering how "aiman-tak-kisah" I am about my wedding preparations, I consider myself pretty worked up. Did you notice that when I blog nowadays, it’s quite impossible for me to not slot something in about love, life, family, relationship, wedding preparations and the like?


Ironic because I always told myself that I should not let my wedding consume me. Consumed about marriage tak apa kerana itu lebih real.

But I guess when you are the Bride-to-Be, you really can’t help yourself. There are a million things to think about and most importantly, a million hearts to take care of. Sometimes, the most important thing, which is yourself you successfully neglect.

And let’s not start talking about money issues. That’s a separate, never ending issue on its own.

I miss going out with my friends just because. I miss taking photos. I miss futsal. I miss splurging on good food because your priorities shift altogether. Don’t get me wrong. I do not mind spending on things like the photographer etc. because I know that those are the only things which would make my memories immortal. Plus, it’s not everyday that I have to buy hantaran. And even if I did, I’m thankful that both of us have agreed on certain thresholds, which in other words means that we’re both pretty reasonable and realistic about things.

But yes. It’s a catch-22 situation at times.

Most of all, I actually miss eating sushi. I know, right? That was just SO RANDOM. But I really do miss eating sushi. Maybe it’s because I miss Lynn. And I am grateful that despite the many things we don’t say to each other, she really just gets me.

Okay, soon, I will get out of the house and pamper myself to some fun-loving time. I will, I promise.

I will not tolerate the wrinkles around my eyes on the big day.

So, who’s in for sushi?

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

November 10, 2010

Wan Tanamera

Ever heard of that song before? I am not sure if that is the thing that they sing, but it sure does sound like that!

As promised here, I am now going to write about my Tanamera experience.

Be wary though, that I don’t splurge on spas unlike food and toiletries. So, my review might not be as holistic as it should be as it is not relative to anything else I have experienced before.

When we first decided to bring Batul to Tanamera, I just went along. I didn’t know where it is located or what the condition of the spa is like. One of the perks of having super efficient friends is that you can trust them with your life.

Now, I know that it is located at USJ 15 and it is strategic in the sense that you don’t exactly have to battle the traffic in the USJ 15 square itself. Parking isn’t aplenty, but if you don’t mind the heat and extra exercise, there are some parking lots a little farther away. But of course, you can always get someone to chauffer you around and drop you right in front of the place.

When we arrived, they told us to strip and left us with a pair of black disposable undies. Uuuu sexay!

Told us to lie face down and began massaging my legs and back. My masseuse was a little quiet. But I guess that’s because I wasn’t all that chatty as well. I just wanted to be pampered and I got my wish. By the time they told us to roll on our back (suruh baring terlentang) and began massaging my right foot, I was fast asleep.

I remained asleep while waiting for the scrubbing treatment and slept some more when they scrubbed me. I am not too sure what oil they used for the massage, but it wasn’t too overpowering. For the scrubbing treatment, they used coconut. If you are not a big fan of coconut, you might find that a little bit disturbing. But I am not particularly petty so, I didn’t mind.

All in all, I didn’t feel any pain at all. Though my masseuse was very quiet, Mamita’s was very attentive and asked on and off whether or not we were ticklish or whether anything hurt. Other than that, with the ambience of the room and the soft songs and sounds of nature playing in the background, I feel like I got my much needed rest and pampering session.

Of course, after the massage and scrub, we had to take a bath. The shower is a tad bit small. Tapi lama gila la aku mandi kan. Siap shampoo 2 kali lagi.

After that, I felt rejuvenated! But at the same time, rasa haus gila, gila, GILA! And sleepy as well. Which explains why I drank my milo dinosaur at Pappa Rich dalam sekelip mata and also makan kuey teow sup saja sebab mengantuk sangat.

The treatment took several hours. We began at 2 p.m. and it all ended at around 5 p.m.. And that was only for massage and scrubbing treatments. As for the rest, unless my friends leave a comment in the comment box, I am not in the position to review on their treatments. All I know is that we all took different ones and have our own experiences.

I would definitely go back there and ask them to massage my legs some more.

Plus it would be nice to reunite with black disposable panties.

Have never seen those before, even in pharmacies. Hehehe.

Website is here.

And oh, by the way, NO, my masseuse did NOT massage my breasts.

Unlike the gory stories I’ve heard before. So yes. That should put your mind to ease. 

I felt so clean after that. No doubt. You should try!

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

November 09, 2010

what i am not saying.

I've been talking alot to alot of people and I have been listening to what they have to say.

What I fail to remember is that the paramount consideration is what I feel about things, more than anything else. Yes, opinions matter to me because they belong to those who matter to me. But, like I said, bottom line is that I must know exactly how I feel about things.

I did my fact finding and talked some more to more people. Would it make it any better if I talked some more? I doubt it.

My concerns are real. They are as real as concerns can get. They are not as silly as I thought. And I am, by all means, entitled to feel and think them. As every normal person would. I know that now.

What I fail to remember is that some people are listening to what it is that I am not saying. And even then, those concerns remain real as well. 

Of course I have doubts. But at the same time, if no one takes the risk, then, who would?

What are the odds? 

I do not know. 

Bottom line is that I don't have the answers to life and don't think I ever will get them. 

I am not depressed. Just confused. 

In the end, someone's got to give me credit for thinking of the things which I am not saying. No matter how silly. Because they are real. This will get better eventually. I know it will. 


Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

water princess.

Our dear friend is getting married really soon. Like 2 weeks kind of soon.

And so, after numerous FB threads, drama, messages and reminders of all sorts, we held a Bachelorette Party for her.

As with all the ex-B-2-B’s in our group, we booked Batul for the entire day. And told her that she would need a change of clothes. What we all failed to tell her was that a change of clothes includes her inner wear. So kesian. T_T"

She needed a change of clothes because we went here!

Oh, boy, we had such a treat, I tell you! We purchased the tickets with access to all 3 parks; Wildlife, Extreme and Wet Park, if I am not mistaken and we began our journey with the Wildlife Park, which to me, honestly, was not that impressive.

And after going round and round the place, trying to look for an exit out of the Wildlife Park, I made the mistake of promising the B-2-B that “anything the B-2-B wants, she gets”. Damn, I honestly thought that Mamita would play along but she bailed out on me after seeing The Ship hang vertically upside down, up in the sky. The whole time I was up that ride, I kept screaming, “OMG I AM DYINGGGGG!”

Haha. So much drama. Turns out that that was the best decision I made at Sunway Lagoon!

Thereafter, no ride could scare me anymore. Batul knew the place well enough to recommend rides to us. We went on a couple of slides and took a dip in the pool, where we spent most of our time camwhoring.

I know that we all wished we stayed a little longer at Sunway Lagoon, but we had to go someplace else and had made bookings. At around 1+, we left Sunway Lagoon and headed to our next destination, which is not known to any of us, apart from Jaja and Nadnad.

I shall blog on my Tanamera experience in a separate post. But the B-2-B’s words were, “It felt like heaven in there. I feel like I’ve just come back from heaven”. Well, glad you liked it dear! Because we loved it too. Hehehe.

Now, post-Tanamera part was a little bit tricky. If you have been following this blog, you would know that this is not our first. And so, it becomes a little bit difficult to cover up our plans, especially when one of us “disappears” and tells the B-2-B that something came up. It was a whole load easier when Din was around because he normally wouldn’t join in during all the girly activities and set up the place meanwhile. But since he had some family matter to attend to, we had to make do with Nadnad and Zaki being the runner.

Thing about my friends and I is that… we’re not very convincing liars. Hmmph. T_T"

After several sesi kantoi and also numerous detours, the Deco Master told us that the place was ready! *added note: notice the bright colours and lovely scarves? the theme was Bollywood and mommytobe was nice enough to scout for the scarves for us* Yeay! So, we headed for Mantra at Sunway Pyramid, which serves Indian and Asian cuisines. The food was AMAZING! Okay, maybe it is not my place to say since just I ordered this:

bantai kena gelak. spicy n sour kuey teow. hey, but it was yummy!
But I did taste the rice, naan, etc. and it was amazing! Thanks to Din for recommending the place!

The grand finale was of course the cake. Though we were a tad bit confused as to why the staff put candles on it. Like whyyyy??? But we didn’t fuss much about it. Then, TADA! We presented the B-2-B with “Ourbook” which was specially made for her by the one who couldn’t be there.

ourbook :) *genius idea*

Okay, she ended up in tears. Which is rare because Batul hardly ever cries :')

We ended the night with loads of photos and lots of hugs and promises that we would see each other soon. Overall, it was a day very, very well spent and I hope that Batul enjoyed the day as much as the rest of us did.

Despite all the glitches.

We love you. You know that we really do :)

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)