July 30, 2013

is it really that simple?

Packing Day 2.

I've been at it for 2 days now, and yes, I am still not done.

It's a lot of work and I just noticed how much... trash (for want of better word) I've been collecting all these years. Well, okay, to my defence, I did keep float files of my own for ease of reference, but some of them I haven't seen for ages! I was just afraid to chuck them out earlier because funny thing is that those matters seem to crop up the moment I get rid of them. Hmmm. Excuses Mexcuses. I vow not to do the same at my new place (for now). Hihi.

Apart from hard copies of past opinions and documents, I have also been working on cleaning up my hard drive. And with that comes ALOT of deletions. Documents, music, pictures. I didn't realise how much I used to take photos and how often I used to upload them at the office. Nampak sangat banyak kerja sekarang. Eh? Ke dulu tak banyak sangat kerja? Mungkin yang kedua agaknya. Hahaha.

When I was deleting file after file after file, I came to realise how easy it was to delete what I had built for myself for the past 5 years. While it took me so long to lovingly place each and every one of my documents into separate "homes" (read:folders) (and yes, I'm obsessed with "foldering" everything), deleting them cost me less than 5 seconds per folder. It really was that simple!

It's no wonder sometimes, how easily people eliminate and be done with some things in their life and then move on like nothing ever happened. I'm not saying that I'm so ridiculously attached to this place that I find throwing out and deleting certain things silly, it's nothing like that, no. In fact, it's the complete opposite because I'm feeling so light and free at the prospect of a new challenge coming my way.

What I'm trying to say is that when we put our mind to something, we can do and will do everything within our power to achieve our goal, no matter how daunting, silly or extreme the thought of it used to be.

All that's left is for us to do is to find the right thing to put our minds to. Then maybe, it really isn't that simple after all.

July 26, 2013

my days are numbered.

Every time I meet someone I've known since the first day I started working, more often than not, I'll be asked the same question, "Still there?" or "Same Unit?".
And the answer to that is always, "Yes."
Not really sure if it's a good or a bad thing that I've been at the same Division for the past 5 years and the same Unit for the past 4 years or so… but lately I've been doing some serious thinking.
I came to the conclusion that I'm in dire need of change.
Not that there's anything wrong where I'm working, or that I hate the subject matter or that there are clashes in personality (well, there are some clashes, but that should hardly come as a surprise, we are all different anyhows) or that I'm so miserable, so much so that I can die of misery… but every now and then, we just need a breath of fresh air.
Yes, change to me had become a necessity rather than a want.
Then, I got my promotion (Alhamdulillah after 5 long years of so much hard work you have no idea) and it was then that I was told that change would come. Only it didn't.
How did that make me feel? A lil' amused, confused and honestly, a tad bit relieved as well… because as much as I was craving for some change, change did at the very least scare me.
So work went on as usual. I stopped packing my stuff after 2 other Transfer Orders came out without my name on it and I resigned to the fact that maybe, just maybe, this isn't my time yet.
Fast forward 2 weeks later.
A TO came out with… wait for it… my name (FINALLY) on it.
After 5 very long years, I will finally be leaving this place, this floor, this workstation of mine with 5-year worth of documents lying around every nook and cranny of it.
It's been a bittersweet journey, this - and I plan to make the last few days here as memorable and as enjoyable as possible. Plus, after 5 years, you can only start to imagine the amount of things I have to pack and throw and shred and file and upload so that I can go with clean hands, so to speak, without leaving behind unnecessary burdens to those who remain (yes, someone unabashedly left her things with me and I don't know what to do with them as they've never been reclaimed until now).
Which is why… I'm trying my best to just keep my calm and cool, even though something absurd is happening right now (I totally cannot brain it), with there being only 3 working days left for me here.
Here's to hoping that my numbered days will be happy ones.
Le sigh…

July 24, 2013

some things are just meant to be made.

Two missed calls.

That's what I came back to when I got back to my boss' room after doing some research at my workstation.

I thought it was my husband but hey, hey, it wasn't.

It was Fai, one of the oldest friends I've had. And probably one of the best ones I've had too.

As he was just leaving my office compound, I told him to turn the car around; and that I'd meet him at the lobby.

When he arrived, I asked him whether or not he had met Dinie, also one of our good friends. He told me that he was about to surprise Dinie at her office when I returned his call.

Turns out that he was the one who was the most surprised because he didn't know that Dinie now works at the same building as I am.

The hour after that ensued where we convened in Dinie's room was probably one of the best catch-up sessions that we've had in the longest time.

Some days are just meant to be made and some friendships are meant to stand the test of time, distance and lack of communication.

This is probably one of those days and hopefully, this is one of those special one-of-a-kind friendships.

Sometimes, it's not the quantity that matters, but rather, the quality. And it all happened because we all cared enough to just care.


July 21, 2013

pejam celik

... and it is now 12 days into Ramadan already! Time flies so fast these days, whether or not you're having fun, does it not?

And now that it's Ramadan, I'm sure there's really nothing to NOT love about it and with that, I've noticed that time flies even faster!

Alhamdulillah, we've been given a chance to experience Ramadan again. And like previous years, I've tried my best to make Ramadan markedly different (in a good way of course) from the last. Although this year's "change" cannot beat last Ramadan's, I believe that the "change" does not necessarily have to be major for it to be significant. And with that I do feel like I have, in some way, in sha Allah driven my family into a direction which I very much hope will be blessed.

This is a good time, this month of Ramadan, it really is. It's so good I almost tear at the thought of it leaving us soon.

Now that 12 days have passed, I really hope to be able to make good of the remaining 18.

I'm sure you'll do the same too.

In sha Allah.

July 01, 2013


It's been eons since I baked anything. My mug cakes obviously don't count. At least to me they don't.
And since baking has become such a luxury (because that means I get to spend some me-time rekindling my relationship with my old time love), I've always wanted to save it for a special occasion.  
Since I woke up really early that Saturday morning when we convened at Da's house, I got right to work in the kitchen.
I got all my ingredients out of the fridge to bring them to room temperature and while waiting, I managed to get loads of ironing done.
By the time I was done, my ingredients were more or less ready. So, I got to beating my butter... all 300 grams of butter... by hand with a whisk!
And that's when I realised how crazy I was to think that I could beat the butter without a mixer.
Yes, not even a hand mixer!
After a while, realising that it was an impossible feat, I "improvised" by melting the butter (all the time with fingers crossed!) hoping that everything would turn out well eventually.
Managed to mix everything well, and then I put my cake batter in the oven to bake.
Since I was in the midst of rekindling my relationship with my long lost love, I figured that this was obviously the right time to try out a new buttercream recipe... which if you're used to baking, you'd know how crazy of an idea it is if you're without a mixer.
I knew the idea was crazy but hey, what's 2 sticks of butter compared to the 300 grams I initially attempted? I could surely beat 2 sticks without fail right? And right I was!
I googled for some tips for the perfect buttercream and got to work.
Basically, I woke up every single muscle in my hand and got them to work (hard!).
And you know what? The end result made it all worth it.
So glad that my buttercream was finally not too soft to hold itself and that by the time we got to our destination, it didn't look like this -
yes, this was one of my many attempts 2 years ago. such a sorry sight i know. yummy enough because everyone loved it (probably because it was for free) but yeah, it IS A SORRY SIGHT. and this was only transported from my house to my office which is just 5 minutes away. haha
A long way to go to become a bakerella, but once my boy's a bit bigger, I'll start baking loads again.
Oh, you lovely cake smell, how I've missed you.
Now, for the recipe I used:
2 sticks of butter (about 100 gm)
4 cups confectioners (icing) sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp milk
Leave butter to room temperature. Never put in microvawe to soften. And at room temperature, never leave it until it is too soft. Room temperature means that the consistency is that of ice cream. Not too hard that you can't beat it. But not too soft 'til it can't hold itself.
(This, I think is the most important part which I failed to learn in my previous attempts)
Beat the butter and vanilla until light and fluffy.
Beat in icing sugar bit by bit and beat well with each addition.
Add milk and keep beating til light and fluffy.
Then, frost your cake!
Happy trying!