April 24, 2015

go like never before.

101/365 was a couple of weeks ago.

Apart from the Big Move, I have got to admit that it was THE most anticipated weekend of 2015 because it was the only weekend that we or rather I knew what I would be doing; running my first 11.2 km for the year. Wait, scratch that; running my first competitive run, ever.

We made a pact; we would all sleep, even if we didn't feel like sleeping. I had a run that night and my husband had a basketball game the following morning. After all the packing-unpacking-repeat episodes we've had for about 3 weeks prior to 101/365, SLEEP really was the one thing we were lacking. 

So, sleep we did. 

When I woke up, I took a bath, waited to perform my Maghrib prayers and got ready for the Run. 

And just. like. that. came the rain, complete with lightning and thunder and all. 

I kept asking my husband for his opinion on what I should do. I knew what I wanted but I couldn't do it without knowing what he wanted. So, he told me that he would rather if I didn't run. Not because it was raining, because that was pretty normal... but because there was lightning and thunder and all. He said he would rather if I didn't. And my heart dropped.

Thing is, he knew that despite all my previous doubts and anxiety, I really was looking forward to that particular weekend. So he sent me to the venue anyway and told me to promise not to run if things got real bad. And by the look of things, I knew that I wasn't going to run that night. 

I kept of scrolling through the Twitter and FB updates from the organisers and at some point, I was already queuing to get my goodie bag and medal... when the rain STOPPED. And they announced that the first flag off would be at 8.45 p.m.

I got out of queue and stepped behind the Start Line.

Alhamdulillah, even though I didn't go as fast as I could have, I managed to run 8.2 km without stopping (only because I got a stomachache at the last 3!!!) and somehow managed to sprint the last 200 metres to the Finish Line.

I proudly finished my "Quarter Marathon" in 1:43:45 (net time). 

And I think it's somewhat contributed by the words of wisdom I found at the very last minute when I was still doubting myself- forever asking if I could - 

"I'm a runner because I run. Not because I run fast. Not because I run far."

Of course, I'm also ever so grateful for 2 of my biggest cheerleaders for cheering me on.

Already registered for my next competitive run (TMFR), so yeah... bring it on!

April 17, 2015

at least we tried to have it all...

There's a Whatsapp group in which both my husband and I are participants. But the rest don't know that we're married. 

Just a couple of days back, as we were discussing some issues, I volunteered to take on a task, which the others seem uncomfortable/unsure of taking on. For that, I received multiple thank yous, including one from my own husband. After he expressed his gratification and offer to help, he gave me a wink (yes, the icon!). And I let out a giggle, like a little girl who had just been flirted with. 

All in the Whatsapp group which didn't know that we're husband and wife. 

The whole situation really is a funny situation, you know; people treating us like we're not married, like we're not even friends, like we're perfect strangers who are just helping each other for the common good. Maybe when the rest find out that we're really a couple (married some more), we're going to get it, but for now, we kind of think that this flirting in the group thing is cute. 

If you ask me, I do think that all this playfulness is actually pretty timely.   

Lately, we've gone through huge changes in our lives. Big move, bigger space, bigger expenses, less money, less time and the list goes on. With so many changes going on, you can imagine the toll it takes on an otherwise perfectly healthy relationship. And the amount of strength it takes to persevere and soldier on in all attempts to make things work. 

Speaking of which, we've also been talking about how couples (some of which are our own acquaintances) have gone back to each other after a huge fight (whether due to money, abuse or cheating, among others) and make things work. I don't care to find out for myself (harap simpang) but I'm too chicken to ask them because seriously, who does that... but I do honestly, genuinely wonder. My husband and I have theorised about the many reasons why people make or break in all our resolve to not fall into the same boat, but we've also concluded that nothing is certain. 

So, at every opportunity we get to lighten things up between us, we do. Even if it seems really silly or funny. Because in the event anything does go terribly wrong (I hope never), at least we'd know that we tried to have it all.