November 30, 2009

Sex and the hubby

Should busy working women be blamed for straying husbands?

Did you read the papers today? This particular news was on NST and I thought, “I do have my own 2-cents worth of thoughts actually

I think that it is a grave situation that married men and women now have to face. It is like the chicken and egg argument. Like a catch-22 situation.

In this modern world where the cost of living is skyrocketing and people are living from paycheck to paycheck, it is difficult to tell a woman to stay at home and be a homemaker. Very few are privileged enough to be able to do that and still lead comfortable lives. So, is it fair to blame the woman for working when all she is trying to do is to take some burden off her husband’s back?

There are of course those who still choose to work though their husbands can to afford to finance them and the family without them contributing financially. And maybe these are the women people are blaming for causing rifts in the family tie since they are so busy chasing their careers.

Let me tell you something, though. Working gives us (well, me at least) the adrenaline rush I need to stay alive. Complain as I may about not wanting to wake up to go to work, there is something about work which makes me keep on going back for more.

Be it the colleagues, the environment, the hour long drive, the work itself; I have no intention whatsoever to quit in the near future because I need this job. Not just for the money, but also for my own sanity. (though for now, money is important, I won’t lie)

In times to come, there may be a possibility that I will get married. And of course I would love it if my husband could take care of me without me having to contribute a penny to it. But does that mean I would quit my job to stay home and make home per se? No. Exactly.

I don’t know what’s causing the problem, actually. Maybe the fact that I have working parents and they have been together for 27 years (and counting, insyaAllah) confuses me, as to why people can’t seem to balance between being a wo/man at work and a wo/man at home.

For me, in a relationship, someone needs to strike the balance. If the husband wants the wife to make home, he has to work doubly hard to make sure he can make her comfortable. But of course it should not be at the expense of her giving up her career. It’s okay if she wants to work, so long as she knows where to draw the line. And that to me, is what women in general are lacking; the knowledge of where the line lies.

And when I make reference to career, I do hope that women would reflect upon themselves and think, “What am I chasing?

Because to me, there is so much more than a career to a woman. So, so, so much more. And that may sound awfully traditional to some of you who are awfully career-driven, but we do live in an eastern society. We cannot help but want to be wives (or asked very often when we would be), to become mothers, and homemakers (while still doing our day job, for some of us).

But can a marriage really work if the woman just stays at home and doesn’t go to work? Would that on it’s own help? No. Because though men love doting women who make them feel “manly”, the excitement also comes from what goes on in her head. What she feels and what her opinions are.

Having said that, I do think that the most important thing is a balance. I know that the world would be such a boring place if everyone were nice, but where a marriage is at stake, what’s important is not to be nasty about it by pointing fingers to one party or the other.

November 29, 2009

victimless crime?

(the clutter my brain might look like now)

I do not know how many introductions I have kept in my drafts, but I know that there are many. And no, I am not talking about blog entries, but the assignment I was given last week.

Having left class for so long, I find it quite difficult to get my brains tuned in to completing an assignment. Many would think that it's just like writing those opinions I write at work, but there's actually a vast difference between the two.

If Govt. Agencies/Departments send us letters asking for our opinion, at least, there is some background we can work on before we actually met out our reply. But this? It's difficult when the assignment question is a two-liner, and it's obvious there is no right or wrong answer.

Do you agree that there is no such thing as a victimless crime under intellectual property law in Malaysia? Discuss.

Now, you might think that's just a piece of cake, but it's really not, you see.

First, IP without assignments is in itself a complicated albeit interesting subject.

Second, there is no clear framework we need to work on, and if I were still a student, that would be the very type of assignment I would love working on, since I can call the shots for practically everything (but I no longer am a student).

Third, I don't have time to dig up all the available literature to beef up my assignment, and merely quoting from the internet doesn't make my assignment a credible one.

I don't even know why I am making such a big deal out of this, but I can't help it. I can't help but fuss over the fact that I can no longer write a piece of my own literature without thinking so much of the consequences. I mean, how many times have I written something for my assignment before this without being totally sure, but being able substantiate it with credible sources? Yeah. Many.

Yet, I still can't write as freely and confidently as I used to and it makes me very sad, truth to be told.

Anyone who thinks they can help me out with this is free to email me at because I am pretty desperate. 2 days to get this done and all I can think of is nothing. Tsk.

November 27, 2009


Today is Hari Raya Aidiladha. But since we didn't korban anything this Raya, we didn't head to Linggi (the place where we normally do the korban). Though we didn't do anything Raya-like, mine was nonetheless well-spent.

I slept. 

In the car on the way to Tampin- I slept.

After brunch, I found a good spot under the big fan at my Atuk's house, and laid my head down. Though I didn't sleep, it felt so good to be able to just baring.

After lunch- I slept.
And it was not even on the bed or some mattress. I slept where my head landed- the sofa handle.

And I slept, and slept. And slept.

Okay, I know you get the picture.

That's what happens you're the only one left in the office before a long weekend. You end up getting everyone else's work. But that's okay. It's all part of the process I guess.

My consolation to all of this hard work is that I get to spend the weekend with cousins dearest :)

We're sleeping over at Fah's tonight and singing Fifteen for the second time tonight :)

Off I go~ Have a good weekend peeps.

November 26, 2009

because I can't wait to get home.

I believe that the way your days starts (sort of) determines how it ends, right? Okay, so it might not be true all the time, but most of the time, it is.

I believe that when we start off our day by logging on to FB or writing a blog post, we are more inclined towards revisiting those pages again and again throughout the day, as if waiting and anticipating a response from our audience. I used to deny the fact that I wrote for my readers, but the more I write and the more random comments I receive, the more motivated I become to write whatever I write (which you all seem content with and seem to think worth reading, which I am not so sure why).

Well, anyway. Mostly, I do write for my own record, but it's nice knowing that you people have your own 2-cents worth of thoughts about them too. Heehee. So, thank you for making this space alive.

I am quite aware of how my itch to blog when I arrive in the mornings can hamper me from doing a good job out of my job. So I decided to finish off my outstanding assignments before logging on today. Alhamdulillah, I am done with the opinion and have emailed it to my boss, complete with a disclaimer of how unsure I am whether or not I have addressed the issue correctly. Because I held back from sending it to her for so long, since I really, really wasn't sure.

Enough about work now.

Today's the Thursday we have all been anticipating, right? It's amazing how I totally forgot to apply for leave since the few dates in my head are: 1/12 (a meeting is supposed to be held then but we have yet received letters), 3/12 (off to Sabah), 6/12 (back from Sabah) and 17/12 (my long leave begins).

But it's not so bad at the office today. At least it's not as lonely as Aidilfitri.

I am hungry and what better way to make myself hungrier than by looking at pictures of food, right?

I wonder if you've ever been caught by surprise when eating something. Last weekend, we tried Tony Roma's Kickin' Shrimp and we were surprised, alright.

okay, yes, I know. when you look at this, you'd think that it's just another starter. but that's where you're wrong, you see. while the leafy greens are nothing to shout of about, the shrimps are simply divine! this is a part-warm, part-cold salad and that's the part that surprised us the most. because in our minds, we were waiting for a cold-salad. and wallah!~ when this arrived, both of us just shut our mouths and started gobbling. of course, the fact that we were famished helps give this starter a good (and better) review. heh. it's worth RM22.90 but i got mine for free, thanks to Digi! :)

if you're the true malay like myself (i'm trying to rile adik because she likes pastries, so she's so mat saleh ;p), you'd love this lunch set (simply because you don't have to bother choosing this and that). set comes with mushroom chicken chop with rice, salad and drink from Secret Recipe. the price is okay, but truth to be told, i think i've tasted better. heh.

though i do like rice, i don't mind breads, esp the good ones. and one of my favourites is Subway. i always get Subway Melt. to me, no point taking vegetarian or tuna because it's so easy to make ourselves. when eating Subway, go all out and get carnivorous. and at the end of the counter, ask for everything, even if you don't eat vege. extra pickles please. if tak habis, takpa. saya boleh makan kan. :)

Now... what's for dessert...

okay. found it. brownies and ice cream. we ate this at Myra's wedding. it was quite the highlight of the day (the Smarties being brownie lovers and all). but i'll be honest. it wasn't that good because (1) i have tasted better; and (2) it had raisins. which is why, when i bake my own, i never put any :)

Okay, now, for breakfast, the most important meal for the day... (which i missed today).

Coffee Bean's Mom's scone (or something to that effect) and the warm drink on the right is mine (caramel machiatto). please do not follow in the footsteps of Abdul who drinks cold drinks in the morning as this is unhealthy. but the truth is.... his drink is nicer than mine. he ordered caramel frap with extra caramel. i didn't enjoy the scones because? they had raisins. urgh. me don't likey. and i ordered them still though the raisins were practically waving at me. haih.

last but not least.

wooops. the eyeless man (because woman cannot grasp the technique of camwhoring for 2). sorry, not for keeps or consumption. at least not for you lot. heh. of course he is not food, but i like him anyway.

The more I stay on this page, the more random I get. Haha. I better go read some papers now. ;p

November 25, 2009

let's burn the midnight oil.

Believe it or not, I just watched The Proposal last night. Yeap. I'm a tad belated where these things are concerned, mostly because I can't really be bothered about movies unless it's an adaptation from a novel I've read.

I thought it was really good. Though I've got to admit that at first I thought it was going to be one of those typical love stories, etc. etc. It is typical to a certain extent, but. But it's got it's own little twists and unexpected plots which make it good :)

This morning, my worst nightmare has finally come to haunt me. Though I never was a big fan of assessments/assignments, I never really minded them all the same since it took away some of our trouble in scoring for exams. But assignments now, after a year plus of working??? Now that's something to worry about, alright. And it doesn't help that the question is an open ended one. And I won't say I haven't got a clue (because that would be lying) but I really am close to clueless as to how to even begin it. I'm so nervous. Ha ha. Really ha ha. Haih... tough luck. The price I've got to pay for going to Sabah (which is confirmed with flight tickets and all, by the way! aaaa. super elated!)

Oh, well. I better get going then. A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

November 24, 2009

say hey.

Agree with me:

"that there are just some days when you don't feel like doing anything but climbing back into bed the moment you wake up because it feels so good to be in your PJs and socks (gedik pulak macam kat overseas tapi sekarang memang sangat sejuk ok) and curl beneath that comfy blanket the whole day."

Agree with me:

"it feels so good to finally have a 4-day working week after such a long period of not being able to take off from work."

Agree with me:

"yesterday made us happy because we were given our sampul hijau which instantly made us a couple of thousands richer (before paying off bills, of course) and that they shouldn't (EVER) do that again, because that must have been the longest, most painful non-paying month in the entirety of our working lives.

Agree with me:

"that when you reach a certain age, no matter how much or how early you sleep, your eyebags will never ever go away."

Agree with me:

"that I shouldn't even dream of going to Alamanda today because the traffic will make me pull my hair out of its sockets."

Agree with me:

"that we should all be envious of Adik who is currently at home and most probably watching all the good TV shows (though I am not an avid TV watcher like herself, still, she's at home and I'm here)"

Agree with me:

"that when you cut trim your hair too often, it just refuses to grow to the desired length because... some people said dia merajuk. Like really?"

Agree with me:

"that you know I don't know what the point of this blog post is."

Say hey. May I have a good Tuesday.

November 23, 2009

flattery through imitation.

I feel instantly relaxed upon knowing that my boss is not around today. Though in essence that does not take away the pile on my table, I am still able to let my hair down a bit, which is splendid (!), considering that today is Monday! Though I say that, I do think that all the hype about Monday is overrated. It's all in the mind, really. Hahha.

Anyway, last night, I thought of writing something, but of course, I was too tired and ended up sleeping.

By the title of this post, you can probably guess where I am going at. And no, before you think I am making self-flattering declarations that someone is copying me or trying to be me, I am not. This is just an overall observation; some things that have happened and are happening to people close to me, which I know a thing or two about.

When we were little, we were clean pieces of canvas, clean sheets; white, blank and in need of colour. When we were little, we always had someone we aspired to be. Someone we called our hero. Someone we wanted to be like, exactly.

More often than not, we grow out of looking up to people as total heros. We pick and choose as we grow and get to know ourselves better. Instead of emulating others in verbatim, we find ways to adapt one's character or good behaviour or good ways in our own ways.

But lucky or unlucky for some, they just never stop following other people in totality. In essence, they just don't "find" themselves because they are so busy trying to be other people.

It's absurd the amount of copying that goes around in this world. I don't mind if it's just an item or two. It's okay for 2 good friends like myself and Mamita; say for example, I like her shoes so much that I can't help but want the exact pair. And of course we joke about me copying her, but it doesn't matter because in essence, we are still who we are as 2 separate people, though we have the same shoes.

The bit that bothers me is when people don't only want the same pair of shoes, but want someone else's hair, clothes, bag, ring, car (?!), house, favours, invitation cards, wedding, parties, and friends? Come on. Though we shouldn't choose too much who we are friends with, etc. etc., you've got to admit that some people gel better with others than they do with some other people. It cannot be helped.

And let's not get started about copying blog posts and taking other people's pictures or work of art and passing it of as their own. Being a bloghopper myself, I have read about this more times than I care to remember. And it's sickening to think and know that there are alot of these people lurking in the cyberworld, ready to take on someone else's identity, since it is so easy to do.

I know, I know, people who don't blog would think, "If you don't want people to take on your identity, why write so much about yourselves then?". Blogging is a form of freedom of expression you know. I don't exactly agree with people laying each and every detail about their lives or feelings, but I do know that there are times when this is the only medium for us to "let loose". So, it's their right.

I'm grateful that I am not popular like HanisZalikha, PeejBurhan and ThePinkStilettos. I've seen them getting so upset about other people copying and trying to be them, and I can understand where they are coming from, though no one is copying or trying to be me (at least none that I know of anyway).

Since I opened my blog to the public again, I noticed that I have readers from god-knows-where. And some blogs which visit are private. And I don't really mind, really.

But if I do discover that whatever I have written has been made someone else's work, I won't hesitate to report whoever that person is.

All you've got to do is to just be yourself. Imitation is not flattery. Please and thank you.

November 22, 2009

wrap my mind around it.

Let's face it. I am currently going through a life changing experience and truth to be told, I can't quite wrap my mind around it yet. In the natural progression of things, this is always what I dreamed of. Yet, this is not quite how I thought it would be, though it sure as hell is how it should be. That's because I honestly thought that I was going to be stuck in what I was always stuck in because that's how it seemed it would always be. But suddenly, we were blessed with good luck. So big was that luck that it gained it's life changing status.

And as crazy as it seems, I am afraid it changes us to become things that we are not. Things that don't make us better, because it is so, so, so life changing. If I say life changing again, someone's got to smack me for my lack of better words. I'm so afraid that sometimes, I feel like I am in denial. Like this good luck can be taken away from me, any time, any when and that I shouldn't bask in all this happiness way too soon because we really don't know now, do we?

Now, don't get me wrong, I really am very happy. But it's something I need time to adapt to, because I am so used to something else? I know that once I get used to all of this, I would be the last person who would want it to go back to where it was before.

It felt funny yesterday when we were eating together and for the first time, we were not chasing buses or planes. We weren't working on a deadline or interview questions or resumes. We weren't talking about "what ifs". He was there. Really there. In flesh and blood. Literally at arms length. With me. And we were more relaxed than we have been in a long, long time.

In retrospect, I can even feel bile rise just thinking about it. As emotional as that seems, it's something no one would understand unless they go through this experience themselves. Just thinking about how surreal everything is puts my stomach in knots because I have had good things taken away from me before. And it was ugly and so was I and it wasn't easy.

And like I said, I really am very happy, honest. I mean, please. From not meeting him at all to the possibility of bumping into him at every traffic light possible? Hey, this girl's gone from zero to hero, alright.

I just need some time to wrap my mind around it and to convince myself that this will not be taken away from me too fast too soon. Because this isn't something too good to be true, too fast too soon. It was something we have always, always dreamed of.

And I shall continue to dream.

sunday morning, rain is falling.

Sunday morning and here I am hiding beneath a blanket from this cold Sunday morning. The weather's been pretty cold of late, don't you think so? Making it so much more difficult to wake up for work. Ironically, work is piling right now and all I can think of doing when I head back home is sleeping.

This week's been good to me, though. So, I haven't got much to complain. Apart from the fact that I went back late on a Friday evening, of course. And I wish I was allowed to talk about the inefficiency of some people which caused me to have to stay back, but of course, I can't.

Having been efficient (bukan masuk bakul, angkat sendiri. this is a fact please and thank you) and having had efficient friends surround me for as long as I can remember, I find it difficult to deal with old-timers who still have the old "governmental" mentality. Okay, I went overboard already. That's as far as I can go in that respect.

It's just a couple of weeks away from the much-awaited December. How time flies.

I haven't really been reading the papers of late, so what's going on in the Nation that I need to know of? I'm even beginning to forget what the date is because all I can think of are Sabah and December.

I need to go out for a bit now. It's clear I'm a tad bit uninspired, yes? Yes. TTFN.

November 20, 2009

silly grin.

You know what it's like to be in LDR? I do. I've been in it for all of my relationships. Except for one. Which at this point, I would hardly call a relationship, come to think of it. But anyway. Being in LDR makes every little thing matter to me. Everything. Even the things which people think are highly ridiculous. Like how I can get so hyped about the fact that I met him at the traffic light yesterday.

I'm so happy I want to slap this silly grin off my face. But you see, I waited almost 5 years for a moment like this. So, don't slap me on by behalf because I deserve to be happy, okay?

The weekend is just a few hours away and I can't hardly wait!

On another (much more serious) note, I have to attend a meeting now, so will only update later. :)

November 18, 2009

you make me smile.

Many things have been making me happy of late. But 2 that tops the list today must be:

1. the secret happy which involves Putrajaya; and
2. my application to go to Sabah for a course has been approved!

I'm so elated! I've never been to Sabah before and I have heard many good things about it. The food, the scenery, the people and just the place in general. People whom have gone and come back have nothing bad to say about it.

So, I really can't wait! Let's hope they are able to get me good flight tickets, or else... okay... no or else I can think of... I just hope they can get me good tickets. Hee Hee.

Okay, since I've been 'away' from the office for about 2 days now, I have things on my table to clear. So, I better gear up and go camping at the library for a while.

Have a nice day, folks!

November 16, 2009


Hi you. Yes you. YOU. The one who gave me a B minus for my opinion writing? Yes. YOU. How's life in exile? Karma treating you right?

Guess what? I'm drafting opinions now. Sorry I can't apply anything you taught though. Eh, wait! You didn't teach me anything. Apart from calling people names. Like bimbo and the like.

How fast time flies. And you're at the bottom of the food chain now, aren't you. I'm so gleeful over this fact, I'm starting to not believe how mean I have become. Oh, well. It's just you anyway. I'm so glad the disrespect long due to you has already been paid. Finally. I don't know what took them so long.

I can't believe you had the guts to ask for help. While some people believe that you might have repented, that you might now say sorry for all the meanest things in the world you said, I don't believe you will ever change. Hey, old habits die hard. You're the ultimate bad habit in the truest sense. Someone's got to kill you to get rid of those habits. So, no. I don't have faith in you. Or the fact that you can do or say anything nice to anyone. Or the fact that you suddenly found "sorry" in your self-made dictionary. I think your vocabulary's still limited to "bimbo" still, right?  Or are the people where you are teaching you some manners?

Pah. Bak mencurah air di daun keladi.

I mean, did you reread your message for help before you sent it? No. Of course you didn't. You think people fall at your feet and do whatever you want. I though, on the other hand, read it many times. It sounded like an order to me. If I was the recipient, the first thing that would cross my mind is, "I'm not your dog. So stop ordering me already."

If I was the one ordered to do the things in the message, I would have deleted it and never given it a second glance. Or thought. So not worth it. Or maybe, I could send a letter. Just don't expect anything nice in it, though. You didn't have never had anything nice to say about me, while all the while I defended you, when the defense wasn't warranted. Now I know.

I'm fashionably challenged right? That's as much as I remember anyway. Well, even if I don't wear nice clothes, I do have a kind heart. And I do think rationally before deciding to give passing comments to whoever I feel like saying things to. Mulut aku tak puaka.

Unlike you. No point being Lord Rajes' favourite if you have a foul mouth. No point not being fashionably challenged if you're stupid enough to leak confidential info on the net. No point being an educator if you're the one whose in dire need of education. Especially in the area of human relations. And manners.

Sometimes, there are just some people worth forgiving for whatever they did to us. YOU? I'm not that forgiving. To me, you will always be that rude coward.

Next time, learn not to strike the wrong cord, okay?

Enjoy being in exile.

November 15, 2009

a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

Have you ever driven up UiTM before? Or tried doing a side parking on a hill there?
Have you ever gotten anything stuck between your teeth before? And found that it's so stuck you can't do nothing about it? Not even floss and get it out?

If you've been to my room before, you'd know that having a room makeover for my room is akin to doing the 2 things I mentioned above. And by having a makeover, I don't mean buying new stuff. By that, I just mean, rearranging my existing furniture.

My pigsty of a room is now finally tidy, after a week of being abandoned. I've been busy that all I want to do is sleep. I know that I shouldn't use that excuse too often, but I really didn't feel like tidying up last week. Now, everything looks better.  To me at least hee hee.

Anyways, today was a lazy Sunday. I seriously thought of staying in today, but Jaja reminded us that we hadn't bought a present for the wedding tonight. We decided on Knubbig and we're happy alright! Seriously. I even love the packaging we decided on :)

We had lunch at Little Penang Cafe and Toffee Nut Latte later before going back. I had mine with whipped cream! Aaaaaaaaa. Bliss!

Oh, and did you know that the jacket I saw on Monday at the Padini Group sale is no longer there? You'll never hear the end of this. I should've bought it then... but as usual.... Oh, well. Better luck next time? Ha Ha. I wish.

This really didn't have a motive, to be honest. But I had a lot of fun with the girls today. And I finally got to talk to him this morning. That really lifted me up :)

November 14, 2009

big smile.

The most anticipated weekend finally arrived. We have been planning for a 2nd gathering for quite some time now and after weeks of "spamming" each others emails, we finally decided on a time and place to meet.

Now, if you're the type who minds, you're going to think, "What the hell were they thinking? Choosing a place like that for a gathering?!"

But, we don't really mind. So we had ours at Khulafa Bistro, Seksyen 7, Shah Alam. Going down memory lane? Oh, yes. Very much.

The first 3 to arrive were Fai, Jess and myself (2 hours later than the 2 of them ooops hehe).

After that, the crowd (crowd la sangat. 10 orang je kot) started to build.

I haven't met them for ages. But I know where most of them are. But still, it was really good to see them again, updating on each others work, etc. I just noticed that most of us are in Service, and so, our plights were basically the same.

We also saw how big Hunny's tummy ballooned and how Sasha (the new ibu mengandung) has become very petty about everything.

Since Sasha couldn't stand mamak food, we adjourned to Asiari at SACC Mall. Again, we began talking about work and some of them were starting to crack silly jokes 'til we had to tell them to stop because it was too obscene! (hey, kitaorang belum kahwin okay?)

I had this at Khulafa Bistro. Nasi beriyani ayam goreng sayur pappadom. Yummers.
Let's not forget our frothy teh tarik.

And since I had heavy lunch, I only drank these at Asiari. And since it was so good, I had 2 helpings! Seriously, this is so light and refreshing that I would have had a 3rd if I weren't so bloated and too lazy to go search for the Ladies'.

Ah... I had a blast today!

Thanks to those who came all the way from Sarawak, Kedah and even Australia!

I have not talked to him for 2 days now. I wish this wasn't so. But it is. I miss him.

November 13, 2009

choo choo train.

Hello, Friday the 13th.

How's yours so far? Mine's been a nightmare. Or is it really? No, it's not so bad. Really. Only I have 2 hands and 2 legs and 4 stomachs and paper tanah. The last bit's the tougher bit. Otherwise, I'm holding up.

By the way, why does seaweed taste like the sea? Do you have an answer to that, or is the answer obvious? I choose the latter. Because it comes from the sea, no?

By the way, I wonder if you've ever encountered people who ask questions where the answer is so obvious. Sometimes, it's just obvious that the person enquiring is picking on the person asked. Like the recepient would wonder... "was that a trick question?". Well, anyway. I've met people like these.

And when they ask me questions where the answer is obvious, I just raise an eyebrow and plaster a fake smile on my face. I want that person to know that it's fake. And I want that person to know that I know s/he is pulling my leg. Just to pick on me. Simply because.

Well, nevermind that. I just think that people who pick on other people smaller (in size and power) are cowards. That was just a (really) long diversion.

I want today's working hours to end quick. But it's 7 minutes to "punch time" and I'm still waiting for some feedback. Tough luck, right? Here's to another long evening at the office.

Anyway... what do you think of girls who smoke? No offence to any readers who do (I don't know most of you), but I really do not agree with women smoking. Really. For whatever reason (which I don't know of), I do think that there are better ways to release our stress. It just doesn't look good on us. Some people might even call it trashy.

I've even asked a guy (not my own) once, of the message he gets from women who smoke. And simply he answered, "Oh, I'm easy come get some".

I was like... okay?!... Scary and generalised right? But he's the typical guy so I'm thinking maybe the most if not the whole of the male population thinks the same too?

This is triggered by what actually happened here. I was just looking out the window (obviously not mine because I don't have one), and saw a couple of girls smoking. And one was happily clad in baju kurung. Come on, I know you don't want to be a hypocrite and everything, but that's a huge disgrace to the rest of us (Malay girls, especially). Really.

Or am I just assuming many share my sentiments?

I'm still here. It's 10 minutes past punch time.

Funny how I actually wanted today to be unproductive.

November 12, 2009

Love it.

I don't know what it is about women and shopping, but they sure do have some strong, unbreakable chemistry. It's scary. The more money they (women) don't have to spend, the more women spend, now why is that?

Because trust me, shopping is so, so, so therapeutic. Even if, by shopping you actually mean shopping for toileteries and household goods. It makes a big difference to our overall mood. Or am I the only one? I doubt so.

We will find every reason in the world to go to shops/shopping malls.

Let's think about the burnt hole in the pocket tomorrow, so we say.

So, I got off work earlier yesterday (tak peduli dah nak pandang kiri kanan or the fact that I hutang my boss some unfinished work). Yes, that is how tired I am. And quickly dashed off. The best thing is that OU and The Curve and Ikano and Ikea and Tesco (wah, I'm so rubbing it all in to you all yang duduk jauh. unless your malls lagi best? muahahah so evil) are so, so, so close to where I live. Via the Penchala Link (and some mini strenuous traffic), I reached Ikano in a jiffy.

The parking lot on a weekday... is such bliss! I normally don't brave the Ikano parking lot unless I plan to buy anything from Ikea. But yesterday, I parked right in front of the entrance (sort of) and made my way to the shops. I feel like I have not been there for the longest time, which is actually true. And surprise, surprise! They are having a Padini Group Sale right in front of Sony (where Crocs and Cold Storage and New Zealand Ice Cream are) and sales are up to 70% off!

There are shoes, clutches and most importantly... work clothes! For those with kids, there's a kiddy sale going on too! Up for grabs. I have browsed through some work clothes yesterday but since I was happily munching on my seaweed snack at that time, I decided against trying any clothes on. The sales are from 9 - 22 November.

I might just go again today to get the things I had my eyes on. But, if you are planning to go any time soon (before me), please, please, please reserve some size S working shirts and size 6 pants and size M blazers for me, would you? Jangan rebut sama saya okay? You can buy all the shoes you want though, because I don't want any (for now).

Anyways, actually, I was there for a purpose, which was to go to the shop called Love It. It's on the same floor as Uncle Lim's, MFM and some other small gift shops. It's on the underpass floor. Normally, when I go to that shop, there would be some unfriendly (close to rowdy, I would say) salesgirls greeting me. They are so rude that even after a while of browsing makes me uncomfortable being in the same shop with them. Which is a waste because I actually like the clothes there.

Little did I know that Love It has expanded! While the mini one-lot shop remains, there's a bigger two-lot shop right across it. I love this shop because they have simple pieces of clothing in safe colours (mostly whites, blacks, pinks, greens, pastels) and the patterns are not too bold (just the way I like it). I wanted to get an inner for my more sheer baju kurungs. The best part is that rowdy salesgirls are no longer in sight!

And while I was at it... of course I tried on some other clothes. Come on, who are you kidding? Haha. And instead of coming back home with just the thing I need, I came back home with... a new top! Hehe. The prices there are really to die for. If you're the layering-mix-match type, you can get t-shirt from as cheap as RM10 (selepas bundar) and a dress for less than RM50 (juga selepas bundar).

Eh, I just noticed that this post has so many exclamation marks! (!) Ha, see, ada lagi. I should stop because I know no one wants to know about shopping anyway. Ada feeling Isla Fisher sikit. Padahal beli baju takdak brand pon. Hahaahha.

8.30 a.m. sharp now. Off to work I go. Ingat, please reserve some clothes for me, okay?

November 11, 2009

i envy you.

Are you the creative type? Because if you are, I really do envy you. Sometimes, when I look at photographs, I wonder how on earth the photographer thought of shooting in that particular angle. When I go through online scrapbooks, I wonder how something as easy as tearing strips of paper and scribbling illegible lines can look so artsy. I wonder how people can draw abstract paintings and they still look exclusively creative. I wonder how people can put random pieces of clothing together and look super fashionable.

How do you all do it?



I have been told before that the mind can be trained. That creativity is not necessarily a God-given trait. That people really can become creative. Not all are creative just because.

But I also believe that only selective people are gifted with such creativity. That they understand music and art and sculpture in a way not everyone can understand. And at times, I can't help but envy them. Because I know that there is alot to appreciate, yet I cannot fully appreciate them.

My own conclusion would be that alot of us use only half of our brain, most of the time. From the looks of it, I've been using my left side pretty much. Which side is yours?

googled from *here*

November 10, 2009

stop the noise already.

I have always been an advocate of women's rights. Where our rights are concerned, I will have my ears perked and my senses 200% aware. Women issues and Feminist Jurisprudence makes alot of sense to me. It always has been. In that, it means that it gels with my brains pretty well.

Thing is, I am not part of any feminist movement, because I do not want to have to fight for a stand, which may not necessarily be my own. I have personal thoughts about female issues and would like to fight/disagree with them on my own accord.

For me, the Feminist movements' interpretation of this is plain stupid. Honestly.

If you could just look into the spirit of that particular provision, you would see how much it protects us as a gender. And I know that we don't want to be protected. We've been fighting for emancipation from protection of the partriarchal nature of our society for as long as I can remember. At the same time, we want to be protected.

We are so selective, that I do not know what we want anymore.

Do you know what women really want?

We are asking for too much. And surprise, surprise. Our demands are beginning to contradict each other.

Honestly, you should be ashamed of yourselves for interpreting the law the way you did. I'm happy that the law is punishing the man for enticing women and letting the women off scot free. I'm surprised the men are not making any noise about this. Because trust me, sometimes, it's the women who are the ones who are the seductresses.

It's not us who are so easily enticed.

Probably these women have never met other women who act dumb but know exactly what they want. Come on. Stop making the noise already.

The law's there to protect us. It's been there since donkey years.

Just be happy that it exists. I'm sure it's there for a reason.


When we were at T Chal's kenduri last week, we had a tazkirah on Hajj and Umrah; on how we are invited to become guests of Allah; that we don't just go there on a holiday as and when we please.

Blessed, I have had the opportunity to set foot on the 2 holy cities; Mekah and Madinah. But, unfortunate for me, out of the 5 days in Mekah, I only managed to perform a maximum of 3 days (3 times) of Umrah because the pills did not work well with my hormones, hence, the Monthly Red came to stay.

This story is going to be quite personal, and I do not know why I want to share it. But let it be a lesson to anyone who reads it.

For many years now, my dad has been keeping something to himself. But last weekend, he let it out in the open, when there was only the both of us left at home. He told me that since the last time we went for Umrah, he has been wondering why I was the only one who didn't get to perform Umrah like the rest. Though my Umrah wajib has already been performed, he still didn't get it why I was given such ujian, such halangan.

To me, it was the hormones. To him, he felt like I was not invited. At least not fully invited. It was as if Allah invited me to come to Him, yet at the same time, He didn't let me fully "meet" him. Like He wanted to see me, but He wanted me to want to see Him more.

I told my dad that I knew the reason.

Simply put - I wasn't ready.

I know that most people would now tell me, that when you get the opportunity to go to the Holy City, you ready yourself no matter what because not everyone gets that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. True that I was no small kid who couldn't think when we went in 2005, but the truth is that my heart really wasn't into it.

So many things happened there, which I have shared with only a few. All proof of how great Allah is. And yet, it didn't dawn on me back then. In fact, it didn't dawn on me of how "uninvited" I was until 2007 came.

Ironically, the revelation did not come when I was there in Mekah itself. It happened while we were in the UK end of 2007. I suddenly thought about the places we have been to when I was snapping photographs of my sister, and I knew that I would probably never ever go back to those places in this lifetime, ever again.

It made me think about how badly spent my time in Mekah was; on the things I could have done better. On the thoughts I could have thought better. On the prayers I could have said better. On whether I will ever get invited back there as a guest.

And that made me cry. Because it has been years since, and still, so far, no such luck.

Now that I know what Labaik Allah means, I know now that the next time I go there, I should take the opportunity to make amends for all my faults. To pray better. To resolve to be a better person. To take care of what I am thinking of. Because trust me, Allah listens. Even when you say it in your heart.

I long to be invited again.

Places like that change people like me. It doesn't matter when the change takes place or how. What's important is that the change is for the better, even if it's something people cannot really see. I long to "switch that lamp off". To finish my unfinished business.

November 09, 2009


There are several things which really, really turn my mood off on Monday mornings. And one of it is when someone asks me to do something illegal so very early in the morning. Now, if you're in Service, you would obviously know what exactly I am talking about.

And trust me, it is so annoying, I could just kill someone out of my annoyance.

I'm probably not the most schematic person on planet earth, but with me getting caught doing bad things ALL THE TIME, I probably have become one by automation anyway. So, I might as well just be that schematic girl people love to hate, while I'm at it, right?

Thing is, I understand that sometimes, we wake up late in the mornings, have a bad hair day, trip down the stairs, get caught in the stupid Monday traffic, come in late to the office. Trust me, I have come in just like 2 minutes before 8 a.m. because I was caught in really bad traffic coming into Putrajaya.

But do you know that I started my journey at 6.30 a.m.? And that is the very reason why I could still reach the office at 8 a.m.? Living far away from the office should never be an excuse. It shouldn't be THE excuse. Where you live and where you work is a thing of your own choosing. So, don't give me sob stories about you waking up late.

And don't give me excuses like I don't understand since I have no children, no commitments, no husband to take of etc.. Come on, I was old enough to witness my mom raising us single-handedly (literally) because my dad worked so far and she had to go through the routine of sendanaktoschool-sendanaktorumahorangjagaanak-bringbottleandbakulanddiaper-gotooffice-punchcard-sitquietlyinoffice-pickanakupfromschool-gobackhomeandcook. Maybe she was late once in a while, but she would've told her boss, I'm sure.

Because, if we were late, we would tell our bosses that we would be running late. And do you know why we don't hesitate to tell the boss that we would be running late? That's because we are hardly ever late.

Come on, as much as I keep to myself most of the time in my own little space here, I do have eyes and ears. And I do know when someone comes in late every single day. And gets people to do that illegal thing on an almost daily basis. I'm not stupid, you know.

So, I don't appreciate it when people text me so early in the morning, hoping that I would entertain such requests.

To me, if you live far, start off earlier. If you've woken up a little bit later than normal, inform the boss. If you're so afraid to inform the boss, my only conclusion is that you've done it so many times, that no one really wants to hear that excuse any more.

November 08, 2009

favourite breakfast spot.

At first, I didn't even know there was going to be breakfast. I didn't hear the phone last night until quite late since we had the kenduri over at T Chal's place. Luckily, Jaja managed to get through to me, or else, I would have been so upset if I saw pictures of them without me!

Anyways, we spent the morning eating, talking about work, gossipping, comparing notes on the new people we see around in the Department, Cotton On, shopping, more work, and on how ridiculously sour my mascarpone and strawberry was ... Urgh.

I don't know why, but where breakfast is concerned, I never seem to order the correct thing, in all my enthusiasm to try new things each time we go to our favourite breakfast spot.

All the time, I end up eating Nad's hash brown and mushrooms. Haih... tough luck.

Anyways, though I do not really have the ability to spend much at the moment, and it doesn't help that I do not own a credit card, I did get some things for myself from Cotton On.

Cotton On is like the new Twenty One. And it's situated opposite each other.

Which girl wouldn't go crazy if 2 shoes are sold for only RM60? And a top for only RM15? Could I be dreaming? Good thing it comes from the place I'm going to end of this year! I shouldn't bring so many clothes then, so that I get to shop while I'm there, right?

Anyways, since I have been quite busy with family events of late, I haven't been to OU that much, so I didn't know that Dorothy Perkins now sells jeans in my size! Yeay! I'm definitely going to get a pair soon. Please 23rd, come quick!

I should really go now, before the clock strikes 9. I actually have something to do right now (WORK, to be more precise. To be submitted tomorrow, to make things worse), so I should get going.

The best part is that I am really, really sleepy.

Oh, I hope it doesn't rain tonight, else it'd just add salt to an open wound. I could really do with a long deep sleep right now.

But I had a good weekend! Hope that next's weeks good enough to make me want to wake up in the mornings!

Mariah Eggie reporting.

Mariah Eggie reporting from BJ.

Featuring: Becky Minogue, Fara Gollum and Mira Mohanna.

It was T Chal's kenduri doa selamat last night. InsyaAllah, she will leave on the 16th November. Just so you know, T Chal is my mom's younger sister. She has been invited to the holy city of Mekah and Madinah, and I hope that everything goes well for her and Uncle Zai.

Dear readers, please pray for their safety, health and well-being. May they come back with mabrur, insyaAllah.


On a lighter note, last night, was fun in the truest sense. I am so glad I have cousins who are akin to my own siblings. We love each other, fight with each other and make fun of each other like siblings. We also happen to share the love for camwhoring and traveling and making a fool out of ourselves (and loving it) like all the time.

So, though last night was supposed to be a slightly more somber majlis, we managed to make it fun (in our own gila ways), nonetheless. We ate so much until we were bloated. Took so many pictures and laughed so hard at our own inside jokes, we were almost crying.

I ♥ you girls to the max. And thanks to Kamal for being so patient with us. fulfilling our neverending demands to take pictures for us.

Will see you all soon.

Take care Na. Kakak Neesa is just a phone call away when in trouble.

p.s: my head DOES look like a freaking egg.

TT'sW The Movie, finally.

And so, I cried. Much to my surprise to be very honest.

Because let's be frank. We often hope that movies which are adopted from novels to have a substantive amount of the storyline in the book. And more often than not, we are disappointed by our own high and unrealistic expectations.

Likewise, when I walked into the cinema yesterday, I was curious to see how the director was going to put together a movie from a book, with an extremely unusual storyline. Of course, I was wary that it would be substantially different from the novel.

I'm surprised I am impressed at the ingenuity of the movie and at how well it turned out to be.

They concentrated on the most important parts of the story and managed to leave out some of the important, but can-do-without characters, so that the movie concentrated on Clare and Henry as the center of attention.

I cried at some parts because it was just too much to bear. Or maybe, like I said before, I'm just seriously emotionally defunct.

I know some of you haven't watched it yet, so I won't spoil the fun. All I'm saying is that you should really watch it. Really. Better still, persevere through the book and you will find more satisfaction when you watch the movie.

And did I tell you that the cast for this movie is just perfect! Each and everyone of them (apart from Gomez) suits my image of what I thought they would be. Though we all know that Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams are the lead, I was impressed by how the both of them pulled it off yesterday.

Seriously, watch it! I'm planning to go for a second round. This time, I'm going to bring tissue along ;)

**picture googled**

November 06, 2009


This is perhaps going to be the longest non-paying month in the history of my working life (for now). The best part is, just like any other thing which goes according to Murphy's Law, this is the time of the year which requires money to be spent for everything. EVERYTHING.

  • Lotion habis - checked.
  • Body wash habis - checked.
  • Need berus gigi baru - checked.
  • Bedak habis - checked.
  • Deodarant habis - checked.
  • Moisturiser habis - checked.
  • Facial wash habis - checked.
  • Time of the month dah dekat - checked.
  • Air Freshener for the toilet habis sampai kena sound dengan Babah - checked.
  • Need to tukar duit for December trip - checked.
  • Food for December trip - checked.
  • There are bargains everywhere - checked.
  • Tempting shoes and bags galore. Very tempting - checked.
  • I'm so hungry all the time - checked.
  • Banyak kenduri and need to buy baju kurung banyak lagi - checked.

And trust me, I can go on and on until lunch hour if I were to list the things I need to buy. Don't even start on the things I WANT.

And did you know that toileteries can be quite expensive?

So, if you see a dishevelled looking lady who doesn't smell so good, you will know why. Please be patient and wait until the 23rd of November for her to get her life back together. Thank you for your kind understanding.

November 05, 2009


There was a time earlier this year when I couldn’t stop harping about wanting to take a photo of the sunrise here in Putrajaya. After a while of procrastinating, I thought, “Why should I worry? I work here anyway, I get to see it everyday, so... I can capture that sunrise anytime I want, correct?”


The pinkish tint in the sky laced with golden threads of sunrays is no more. Now, all that is left of the morning sky is a big ball of fire, glaring at me, greeting me as I leave the LDP heading into Putrajaya. Every single day. And I wonder, when will the pinkish blue sky come back? Because I really want a picture of that sunrise. It doesn’t help that the weather has been pretty bleak of late.

And it just dawned on me, that I have been taking the fact that I come to Putrajaya daily, for granted.

As normal human beings, there are many things we all take for granted, the above being just the tip of the iceberg.


As a girlfriend, we often forget that when we put the term boyfriend apart, we get 2 terms, namely: “boy” and “friend”. So in essence, our boyfriends are still our friends, just a little bit more special than the rest. Most girls (sometimes myself not excluded) happen to think that just because someone is their boyfriend, they are entitled to do anything to their boyfriend and he wouldn’t and shouldn’t mind.

Again, incorrect.

I believe that asking whether he is free before barraging him with endless phone calls brings respect unto ourselves. Saying “thank you” after a good hour of venting of whatever problems after a long day at work brings more love. The fact that he is special than the rest reinforces the fact that we must treat them better.

I try not to take my partner for granted because like me, I know that there is only so much that he will and can tolerate. And don’t forget that he’s working as well. Just because he doesn’t tell you of his problems, doesn’t mean there aren’t any, correct?

Yes, correct.


And sometimes, at the office, people "forget" to say “thank you” or give words of praise when one does a good job. People forget that a simple one-liner can make a difference to one’s morale. And when someone feels appreciated, they would always, always go the extra mile for you, just so they make your lives a lot easier. Likewise, if you say something nasty, which is totally unwarranted, people will go all out to make your life miserable.

If you don’t take care of your resources, jangan harap orang nak tolong apa-apa.

Lest we forget, do not take people for granted. You DON'T know what you’ve got until you’ve lost them.

November 04, 2009

laughing in the face of adversity.

No, there is no udang belakang mee where this blog title is concerned, so I think I will get straight to the point.

I'm sure you've been at this stage in life before; when nothing comes easy, without a challenge and with all kinds of adversity. Surely, we can't all be that perfect.

That's the stage I am currently parked at in my life. I love my job, I really do.

I love learning new things. I love working.

Yet, at work, there are just so many things you have to face. Office politics is just one of it, if not the biggest bulk of challenge. Bosses are item number 2. Workload is third on the list. And trust me, there are just so many other things in your working life which are out of your control, that you'd like to plead "force majeure" to practically everything.

Yet, there is only so much you can do. You can break down and cry. Or better still, you can laugh.

And it's so ridiculous, looking at myself in the mirror as I betulkan my senget-benget hair (from the whole day of running the entirety of the 10th floor) because there is a silly smile on my face, ridiculing myself for all the things that are happening to me, laughing at myself for all the pimples popping out of nonsensical places, one of them being on my kepala from all the nonsense which I have to face.

From 2 Units, I am now at the mercy of ALL 4. I currently have work from all four. Everyone wants everything on the same day, and I am torn between 2 bosses, feeling like a fool (buat-buat nyanyi lagu macam Torn Between 2 Lovers) and still I am laughing at myself so hard because I know that I have no option but to do a good job out of my job because in the end... I kind of like it.

And suddenly, I feel so funny so writing something so silly like this because who in their right mind would laugh at times like these like me?


oh, well.

I finally found the 'New Post' button. Thing is, things have not been uneventful. So many things happened on Monday. There was a meeting, words passed and again, the power is NOT in our hands. It was a bit like an exercise in futility to say the least. But that's as far as I will (and can) elaborate.

I really do need a dose of gila, yet every single night, I drift off the moment I put my head down. How's that?

I can't even stay up long enough to read 5 pages of the book I just started on.

Oh, by the way, The Time Traveller's Wife is a really sad love story. Or maybe I'm just so seriously emotionally dysfunctional? But whatever it is, I cried as I was reading it, cried when someone died in it, and cannot imagine if my loved one disappeared and reappeared into thin air without warning like Henry in the book did.

The new book I'm on is The Girl Who Played With Fire, by Stieg Larrson. For those whom have not yet read The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, I suggest you do that first, since this one's sort of like a sequel to it. It's okay so far, though I have to admit that it's a bit slow. But judging from Mr. Larrson's first book, he's not in the habit of being irrelevant, so I shall persevere and read through it, with hopes that I solve the puzzle in the book.

Of course, I'm hoping that my target of 5 pages per day can be fulfilled. Oh, well, one can never stop hoping, no?

November 02, 2009

sepuluh random monday morning thoughts.

  • No, I am not caught by the Monday blues today, which is amazing, considering how many times I was awaken from my slumber. Saya kedekut tidur okay sekarang. Tidur adalah aspek paling penting dalam kehidupan orang yang bekerja. Oleh itu, saya agak bengang dengan Maxis kerana lambat hantar message saya kepada Bujang. Dan saya terharu dengan Bujang kerana terus call saya dari Australia untuk tanya "What is wrong?" sebaik dia bangun tidur untuk solat Subuh, which means, it was 3.30 a.m. di Malaysia. Pfft.

  • Saya amazed dengan orang yang boleh tulis BeSaR KeCiK BeSaR KeCiK BeSaR  KeCiK dekat blog, status updates di FB dan message dan all else. Tak letih ke? Sebab saya letih baca, maka jadi turn off. Kadang-kadang irritated pon ada. Tak tahu la kenapa, sila jangan tanya. Okay, that is actually your preference. Jadi abaikan perkara ini.

  • I am so hungry, I am amazed at my own capabilities to eat. Melampau lah.

  • This morning (apart from this random update), has been pretty much productive. Clap clap. I'm so proud of me :')

  • I cannot upload photos of my weekend di FB (yang agak cantik, surprisingly). Aaaaaaaa! Sabar okay.

  • Atuk-atuk memang comel kan? This is my second personal encounter. Wah, dia masih kuat. Amazed.

  • Eh, someone took a liking on our Batch Motto. Bangga right?

  • Okay, I am simply filiing these numbers up sebab nak cukupkan sepuluh. Entah apa-apa la labu.

  • Saya miss my dose of kegilaan. Jom buat birthday you and you. Dah belated kali sepuluh dah ni. Cepat free kan diri. Rasanya on 7th free tak semua?

  • Semua yang underline patutnya bold. Tapi ikut aspirasi Office untuk safe toner. God, familiar tak? Macam ada orang pernah katakan. Macam ku kenal, tapi di mana ye?

Sekian random thoughts buat masa ini, terima kasih.

November 01, 2009

first of the gang.

And so, yesterday came.

It was a beautiful day. Berkat doa Mama Lynn yang comel sangat sampai tak tahu nak cakap macam mana dah, it rained early enough, and stopped just in time for the ceremony to start, just as the rombongan arrived.

The theme was white and purple. Lynn was clad in a gorgeous white baju kurung modern, along with selendang and all. Her make-up (despite the earlier hiccups) made her look more beautiful than she already is. We were awestruck. We managed to scare her by asking her whether she was sure that yesterday was a mere engagement ceremony, and not her nikah. Heeeeeeee. Sangat naughty okay. Especially Mai.

I am amazed at how events like these bring people together. In her room yesterday, there were friends from so many different backgrounds. Yet, as we lazed on her bed, it was as if we had known each other all our lives. Perhaps, Lynn is the one who's amazing enough to bring us all together? I wouldn't be surprised if it is.

She was radiating with amazing aura yesterday. More than anything, she was the calm(est) out of us all (read: kawan-kawan dia yang panic terlebih), though she was the one who was taking the better step ahead.

The event was tinted with simplicity and personal touches and all in all, it was that that made it all the more beautiful.

Our pretty darling's the first of the gang.

Lepas ni jangan lupa main futsal sama kitaorang dah okay? Encik Agus dibenarkan join untuk jadi goalkeeper kita :)

We love you sayang, you know we do.