May 31, 2008

must dos

In chronological order:

a. Get all my clothes from downstairs, abang’s room and also here in my room. Lipat, gantung, whichever is sesuai.

b. Put these on the bed where I can see them. Clearly.

c. Make room in my wardrobe because the cupboard’s spilling already. I can’t hang anything anymore for fear that it breaks.

d. Get all my accessories and nicely pair them up.

e. Get rid of them, by giving them to Adik.

f. Reorganise notes and books from this past year, especially. They’re all over the place.

g. Put them on shelves (yang dah penuh)

h. Okay, buy new shelves, since dah penuh.

i. Ask abang if he’s keen on switching rooms, perhaps? But I bet he has more stuff to bring back after 4 years from now.

j. Maybe I should consider looking for a place of my own? Bapak seems agreeable to it. (surprisingly) He said my room is like store room now. ngee.

k. Prepare for upcoming interview(s). I don’t know whether or not to reply to Shell. They’ve invited me for second round. It would be such a waste not to practice Law after these 5 gruelling years, kan? My heart’s kind of set on the AG’s actually. I should start preparing on this one more I guess.

l. Stop writing and start cleaning.

m. Stop getting distracted by stuff I find in the midst of cleaning and start seriously cleaning.

n. Stop daydreaming.

o. Stop getting distracted with yummy smells coming from the kitchen.

p. Start reminding myself that I’m already 23 and should act like it.

q. Stop writing all this crap.

r. Stop updating my blog every 5 seconds.

s. Start collecting stuff from downstairs and start bringing them upstairs.

t. start throwing junk away.

u. Stop writing.

v. Stop writing.

w. Stop being depressed about this room.

x. Stop it, stop it.

y. Start thinking of a plan.

z. I’m surprised I’m still here. hish. Aren't you?

I just have to verbalise all this, you know. I’m often sidetracked by unnecessary things. I should start now. I’ll get lazier and lazier if I don’t start now.

Okay, off I go. (I hope I will start something, somewhere)

May 30, 2008

silly little nothings

warning: a bit emo post

I love writing things to myself. Somehow, it keeps me saner. And right now, I’m a tad bit insane because my room’s oh, my house is actually, a mess since I have conveniently parked my stuff at every nook and cranny of the living room, abang’s room and my room which looks vacant to me.

It’s driving me nuts, no joking.

I have a musang living on my roof. It makes noises and walks about. But we always hit the ceiling with a penyapu so that it’s aware that we’re around.

I’ve nothing better to do (when actually I do) than to look at old friendster testimonials and profiles of people I know (and don’t know) macam stalker, I know, but I’m bored. Where did all the fun go to huh? We all had so much fun together. My friends used to just drop by my page to drop silly little nothings.

So, where are we all now? I know people have moved to FB, but still, it’s so quiet there. I’ve just lost contact with everyone. So busy with our busy, busy lives now. It’s So sad.

And we’ve both stopped sending silly little countdowns to each other before we meet. Maybe it’s because we can never plan on meeting anymore because we’re so far away now. That makes me kind of sad too.

Or maybe we’ve just grown older and grown out of it?

That makes me sad too.

We’re all growing so fast and forgetting to enjoy the moment.

I don’t know why I’ve gone all emo. It’s like this every time we part. Every. Single. Time.

Only now, I’ve got the time to put it into so many words.


Apparently, the 2 trips to Baiduri yesterday weren’t enough. I’ve still got some junk left in my room there and in the kitchen. The best part is that none of the things which I brought back are actually junk. They are the notes and books which I have meticulously collected and invested my money in. So; there’s no way I can rid of them. And that means that I won’t have any room to put any of those things which I brought back from Baiduri in my room here in TTDI. Am I making any sense at all??

It’s impossible to clean this room and also that room. It’s just too much to handle. I hate moving. I hate changes. Saya takut bilik roboh ok. This attic is not designed to take too heavy loads. Erk. Takut.

I know my results. And they aren’t pretty. Ahahhahaha. I don’t want to say padan muka because I did try my best. But I guess my best wasn’t the best. Actually, they are the unofficial results of my results. I’ve just got friends in certain places, so I got to know mine pretty early. And I’ve been counting and counting again and again. I don’t know what to do already. I’m just hoping that they eliminate all those minuses from my A’s and then probably I’ll do better?


But on a lighter note, I’ll be going somewhere next weekend! I’m so psyched but I don’t want to talk about it yet. Once it’s confirmed I’ll probably write a post about it. Ngee. Too scared to speak too soon :)

Off for now. I’ve got errands to do and cleaning to start. The sister got inspired and started throwing things from her room. And here I am not inspired by anything and writing a blog instead. Ngee.

ciaow cin cau

May 29, 2008

love notes

Apart from the fact that Gerard Butler is a super hot guy, P.S. I Love You certainly has a certain significance to me which I cannot begin to explain. Honestly, it’s got a kind of attraction which is really unfathomable; just like the book which is without a doubt, the best love story ever created.

I watched it twice and cried on both occasions. It’s ridiculous, I know, but you should really watch it, then you be the judge. I was inspired by the movie that I made my own love notes for my Dearest. It’s honestly nothing, but I had fun making the notes (and hiding them!). And I thought he would take a longer time to find all 7 but he’s found 6 already. The last one is tough to find, trust me, love.

I’ve been so happy of late that it scares me. Seriously, it does. I’m always scared to be too happy at any one time, because just like the world, life too, is round and it cycles. At one point we’ll be on top, the next thing we know is that we’re crying our eyeballs out over nothing and everything.

I had a great chat with Deeba last weekend, comparing notes about the brothers. Ngee. They may look the same, but they are nothing close to similar in character and disposition. What I know is that... there are reasons why we are with someone... and I do believe that Abdul and I are destined for greater and better things. (though, sayang, I still do not agree with the superbike issue. I love it, but I don’t want to own one :P)

Other than that, I think we’re just going through a phase which all couples go through. We’re working on it pretty well, I guess. The renewal of vows (cheewah, macam pernah vow kah? Dlm hati ada la) and more transparent conversations are doing the trick. Though I must tell say this; DISTANCE, I hate you, umm... kind of hate you. You're making the heart grow fonder and the body grow thinner. haish.

I’ll save distance for another post.

Pictures of glowing, happy people here:

Ouh, here’s the 8th love note for Boxerfreak. I bet he won't find it. Ngee

I'm here alone didn't wanna leave, My heart won't move it's incomplete, If there was a way that I could make you understand. p.s: I will always love you!

May 27, 2008

packing up and moving in

goodbye Baiduri

see that Kembara? that's mine!

mamita my ever so loyal friend... cum model for the camera

the roads i'll miss

It’s been almost 10 years since I last stayed at my parents’ place. Imagine that; I’ve been away ever since I was 13 years of age and continued to be away during my Varsity years. I’ve never really stayed at home before except for several weekends. And being home for the holidays is a different thing altogether because I just know that at some point, I’ll head back to Baiduri again. This time, I’m moving in for real.

The feeling is... BITTERSWEET. Call me weird and ungrateful if you want to but you’d feel exactly the same if you were me. It’s just the same as changing flatmates, if you’re trying to imagine. Only this time round, these flatmates will never fail to fuss over you like you were still 13. I know, I know. Some parents don’t fuss at all and this makes their children sad. But I am almost an adult now, you know. At some point, they’ll have to let me fly free.

As of now, things are a lot better. They don’t push me to come back home when I can’t and basically just let me be. I’ve proven certain things to them which I think (I hope) have made them see how much I’ve grown. I haven’t exactly been the conforming little girl though. There are some times when I rebel and do (some) things (not stupid things, stupid!) which are not within their knowledge. Because if I don’t do those things (like going out at night), I’d never really get the chance to do it. Seriously. You can ask my friends of how tough it could be to get me out of the house at night. And just in case you didn’t already know, I’m no party girl. So, you can imagine my definition of having fun; very, very mellow fun indeed. I’m even thankful if I get to eat out for dinner because I’m so busy.

Probably, it’s just my paranoia eating me. I’m 23 and moving in. don’t you think it should be like the other way round? 23 and moving out? Haha. So ironic the way things turn out. The good things about home are that... well, I don’t have to call my mom if I have anything that I wanted to talk about; I just have to run to her room. I’ve got internet (paid for) though we’re still fighting over who gets to use the computer. The free flow of free food and coffee is also to die for.

But, having stayed on my own for so long; I know I will crave space for: crying alone for nonsensical reasons, not wanting to eat because I just don’t want to. Wanting to cook something that the rest won’t really want to eat, washing and... probably just getting in the car at whatever time and go out with whomever I want to wherever perhaps? Yes, I think I will miss the space of being able to do whatever I want at my own time and space. What am I expecting? I’m living under their roofs at their mercy!

I should really do some self-reflection and start to be grateful? Yes? Yes, I think so too. Now that I’ve put it in so many words, I do really feel like a selfish bitch. There, I’ve said it. Makes me feel alot better too. I should start sucking in all this negativity and start being thankful. Shame on me. *smack on my face* padan muka.

May 26, 2008

pernah terfikirkah?

Have you ever thought of what you might do/react in the event that you found that he/she were cheating? Yes? No? Or are you too scared to think of that possibility even occurring?

I think that most people deal with “breaking the news” easily. It’s like masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri. At times like that, more often than not, people practice selective hearing. They hear what they want to hear and shut out anything that hurts too much. It’s just a way people survive.

It’s what you do after you finally come to terms with the news that matters. Because what you do subsequent to knowing about the affair is crucial to your survival and also to the future of your relationship.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could anticipate when he/she is about to cheat? Then, we would be able to sort out our thoughts better and think and re-think of all the possible options available so that we wouldn’t make the wrong decisions later on.

To be very honest, I cannot tolerate people who cheat. I cannot tolerate "accessories" to cheating either; especially women/girls who are aware that the guy is attached or taken. Sometimes, I wonder; where the hell did you chuck your dignity, dammit?? In his pants?

I know that sometimes it’s hard to resist when people talk nicely to you, but hey, some brain power should do the trick, you know? It’s not that difficult. Guys hit on girls, like it or not; taken or not; intentionally or unintentionally. So, if you already know that he’s attached, say “NO” next time, please?

Perhaps you’ve never thought of what you might do if you were in the other girl’s shoes kan? I bet you never thought of what the girlfriend or wife might feel. So, so selfish and insensitive. And some people have the cheek to tell the girlfriend to leave the guy? WTH. Please just go to hell.

And to guys, I know you’re blessed with satu nafsu yang tidak dapat dikawal, but if you’re committed, think and re-think before you let your lower brain take over your upper brain. It’s tough, but hey, just like with the girl, a little brain power goes a long, long way. Think of your partner la weyh. She’s not a stepford wife who’s been genetically modified to have a heart made of machine.

May 23, 2008

of nothing at all

I’ve been in Baiduri for approximately 4 hours. I’m here to pack my stuff into the boxes which I bought weeks ago. My room is in the messiest state it has ever been since the first time I moved in here. It’s not even this messy during the exams.

My books are everywhere. So are my notes. And papers; both used and unused. I feel like my evening has been put down to waste. I’ve been lazing around and not packing. I don’t know where to start.

To be very honest, I don’t know if I want to start at all. It’s tough. It’s bittersweet even. I’ve been living here for the most part of my varsity years. It’s not easy. Call me crazy because I know this ain’t the UK or US or someplace which requires me to have passport and visa to enter, but still. Being far from it and knowing that I’m not going to live in this place anymore basically makes me sad. Melancholic, ain’t I?

So, here I am, writing posts of nothingness. I want to read up on something, yet I’m too hungry to concentrate. That’s another thing I want to talk about. Thought of doing it in a separate post, but while I’m at it, why not, eh?

Of late, my tummy has become an empty keroncong. Why, oh why? I don’t know what it is that’s making me un-full. I’m not ‘membela’ as some people put it because I eat tonnes of food junk yet here I am, looking like a don’t-take-me-seriously 16 year old. I’ve gotten that from some strangers (but then again he might have just used that line on me to get me to upgrade from a grande to a venti) but nevertheless, I’m pretty tiny according to some people.

I know that this problem is partially contributed by lack of rice consumption. I don’t eat too much rice at home because takde gang ok. It’s no fun because apart from bapak, the rest eat real little portions. No one is like Mami, Nadnad and I who are big plate rice eaters. And so, due to the lack of rice I’m consuming, I’m constantly getting hunger pangs, it’s becoming more and more ridiculous.

And the fact that I’m insomniac is not helping me. Help. I just don’t get it why I’m going through all this. I need to pack, yet I’m not packing. I’ve eaten yet here I am craving for more food. I’m so damn tired from my drive today yet I can’t sleep.

I really need some rest. My mind cannot stop reeling it’s making my tummy make sounds. Does that even make any sense at all?

May 22, 2008

umm.., hello? WAKE UP.

1.School uniform sexy, says group

KUALA LUMPUR: A Malaysian group condemned the uniform worn by girls at government schools, saying it encouraged rape and pre-marital sex.

"The white blouse is too transparent for girls and it becomes a source of attraction," National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia vice-president Munirah Bahari said in a statement.

"It becomes a distraction to men, who are drawn to it, whether or not they like looking at it," she said, calling for a review of uniform policy so that it did not violate Islamic ideals.

In multicultural Malaysia, home to majority-Muslim Malays as well as ethnic Chinese and Indians, female students at government schools have a choice of wearing a white blouse with a knee-length skirt or pinafore.

They may also wear a "baju kurung" and a headscarf is optional for Malay students.
Munirah said that "covering up" according to Islamic precepts was important to fend off social ills, including "rape, sexual harassment and even premarital sex."

"This leads to babies born out of wedlock and, to an extent, even prostitution," she said.

"Decent clothes which are not revealing can prevent and protect women from any untoward situations," she said, suggesting that girls wear a blouse of a different colour or with an undergarment.

However, the girls themselves also came in for criticism, with the association saying that some used the white blouse to lure men.

"This is the source of the problem, where we can see that schoolgirls themselves are capable of using this to attract men to them," Munirah said.

"This could see them getting molested, having premarital sex and all sorts of things." – AFP

Are they joking? We all wore pinafore when we were in school back then. We all wore the translucent cotton baju kurung. Don’t they remember Suzailin who was raped by a bus driver and was tied with her own headscarf? Don’t they remember Nurin, who was only 8 when she was brutally and sexually assaulted? She had no “assets” whatsoever, so where the hell was the attraction coming from? She wasn’t wearing sexy, menjolok mata apparel!

It’s not the clothes. Please wake up. People from our mom’s era wore all kinds of clothes which are now deemed as “pakaian sungguh tak sopan”. As our mothers’ values change from the so-called jahiliah mentality to the better Muslim image, some other people’s values have change for the worse as well.

Noticed how borderless the world has become nowadays? Notice how people regard porn as a norm? Notice how much the US culture is infiltrating the minds of our little ones nowadays? Didn't notice? Start noticing~

Please wake up. It’s not the dressing that must change. It’s the mentality that needs to be polished and better values that need to be instilled to make people better people.

May 20, 2008

a test

Today is Tuesday. I feel okay. It is Wednesdays that I have a problem with. It’s like an anniversary which you don’t want to remember yet fail to forget. After all these weeks, will I still feel shitty on Wednesdays? It’s going to be a test tomorrow.

Maybe I’ll just be angry with my crazy menses because they are not behaving. Maybe. It’s going to be a test. If I still feel a bit like crap, then I know that it still hurts a bit. Tomorrow is the test.

I’m not thinking of it consciously, I promise.

i've got my heart set

I’ve never fallen in love this badly. Never. Remember what people say about love being blind? This is one of those rare moments when I know that no matter what other people offer me, my mind and heart is set on this one and only one. I cannot take my mind off it. There are so many other alternatives yet I do not want them. I want this one and this one only.

look at these pictures!

Who can resist this beautifully done dress? You tell me if you can! The lovely semi V neck cutting and the tiny, pretty little buttons at the back which holds everything together perfectly!

The only problem is that... it’s freaking sold out! Everything is sold out and I didn’t get there in time! I’ve never really been a big fan of internet shopping but this particular top has made me check online shopping blogs more often now just in case they sell other more interesting pieces which are to die for!

So, I am not wrong to fall in love, correct? You cannot take the girly girl out of me no matter how grown I’ve become :D

perhaps you can get your own share of good clothes at this Pumpkin website

if anyone finds something similar to this at anywhere, please, please tell me. and if you know me well enough, just get me one in size S and charge it on me. I've really got my heart set.

May 19, 2008

that's the operative word.


That’s the operative word.

For so many things that I am not able to do; menyampah.

Oh, yes. That is the operative word.

Menyampah really is taking the cool out of me.

This is why I miss Shah Alam.

Yes, menyampah really is the operative word.

May 18, 2008

of memory and old age

oh, he can be as cool as a hero zaman dulu-dulu ok :)

Went to teman mama to visit atuk at mak ngah’s house today. Thought of having lunch with him but he was too hungry while waiting for us to arrive so he had his first. But still, he sat with us and ate the food mama cooked for him.

The kids had just eaten their lunch with atuk. So, when they passed by him, they kept on asking, “bukan atuk dah makan ke tadi?” I think that agitated him a bit. Mama asked him until when he was planning to stay and he said tomorrow. So, mama reminded him that pak lang was planning to bring him back to Tampin on Wednesday. He seemed agitated by that too.

I dared not say anything for fear that I offended my mom’s love of her life. He’s the only parent she’s got left. And he’s 89 this year. Or is he 90? Mama keeps on telling me that he’s 89. Maybe she’s in denial too? Perhaps, but I’m really just speculating.

After the short lunch, he went to his couch. Plopped himself comfortably on it with his newspapers and drink. He kept on rubbing his temples as if something were wrong. But he knew that nothing was wrong. He knew that he was worried not because his children had not finished school or that his girls were getting married to the wrong guys. In fact, he knew that his children were just about the most successful people ever born and that they truly loved him so.

But he did continue rubbing his temples regardless. The wrinkles on his forehead and neck and the veins in his hands and feet have become more and more prominent.

He’s just confused, as he admitted to my mom just days before today. I think he knows the changes which are taking over his body and his mind, especially, and probably that is the thing scaring the life out of him because he knows that he has absolutely no control over them.

His memory is failing him and that scares me, even. And I think that even makes my mom sad. She’s really fond of him, you know. And I would hate for my mom to be sad when my atuk finally fails to remember her one day, God forbid.

Throughout my time there and my journey home, I kept thinking that one day, life would come to a full circle. It would be my turn to care for my mother and for me to face such realities involving old age and such. Would I be able to hold up my chin and not break down? That would probably make my mom more confused, wouldn’t it?

So, while we’re still young and able to go about, let’s enjoy this life and enjoy the time we have with our loved ones. We never know when we or they would return to Him, so, let’s make memories today for us to remember tomorrow. Even if we wouldn’t be able to remember (God Forbid), it’ll be nice to know that we’re thought of fondly, wouldn’t it?

May 17, 2008

family love :)

After having missed so many family gatherings this past year, finally, I got to join the fun last night. It’s surprising to see how much everyone has grown and how changed everyone is. After years of being the odd one out due to differences in generation (kononnya lah kan), there are some things that we all finally have in common.

I’m shocked at how open and social kids nowadays have become. Bases? WTH?? I was gaping in utter disbelieve yesterday while they filled me in with the stories in school. Base one, base two and base three... how shocking! Oral sex and sex for girls and boys of wee ages of 13-17? Where did all the innocence of adolescent years disappear? Boy, am I glad Mira is in boarding school. Even then, we can’t be so sure now, can we?

When asked as to where on earth these teens got the audacity to defy the norms of this Eastern society, my cousins told me that they picked these things up from movies (which I bet are supposedly 18SX but watched anyways) and generally from the media which seems to portray that such socialising patterns are healthy.

Some even regard porn as a norm; like a must-watch or something. Why is everyone just full of lust nowadays? It’s quite alot to swallow, you know, these stories coming from high school girls.

On the lighter side of things, the food was superb yesterday, especially the Kuey Teow. Though I must say that Jiki has yet met its competitor. But the pulut and kuah durian... hmmm.. yummylicious. And the company was nothing short of fantastic last night. We had more photo shoots than we could handle, but as usual, it’s going to be tough getting the pictures off Nina because she seldom goes online. Ngee

And the conversation and jokes and just the overall ambience was really very relaxing. I wish we had more moments like this. We all need to bond more, I think. Don’t want to regret not knowing who they are one day.

Abang and Adek, I miss you :(

Alamak, emo pulak. Off to solat :)

sarah ah, eka and nina

nina, farah, moi, syuk and eka

nina and I

these kids are adorable lah, kan?

don't we all look nice? :)

May 16, 2008

laughing over nothing :))

I’m really glad that I went out with Yaya on Thursday for lunch. It was so refreshing. We had a few good laughs about things I cannot even remember. But it was all in good fun. It’s nice to know that I can always count on her because I know she understands that I didn’t abandon our friendship; I just put it on hiatus temporarily while I searched for myself.

We went to Paddington’s and walloped some good pancakes. Mine this time round isn’t as good as the one I tasted before. It isn’t as scrumptious (though for the life of me I can't recall what the previous one is called and what this one is called either) and I did try to finish but I couldn’t (sorry pancakes). When I ordered, I sort of forgot that I had (just minutes before that while waiting for Yaya to arrive) a sour cream and onion pretzel at Auntie Anne’s. That was super yummy I tell you. In fact, I think I was contemplating on buying a second one but Yaya showed up. Hmm..

Anyways, I’m looking forward to dinner with Sonia. I’m glad she understands how hectic things have been for me too. So, I simply cannot wait to catch up on things with her.

Post exams have been somewhat eventful for me, actually. But I do have several things I need to settle first prior to starting work.

Sometimes, I just wished that the negativity would end. I know that I shouldn’t take things for granted and that things can get tough sometimes, but hey, I am a big girl; I’ll get through it like one. Not to say that I can do (all) things on my own without any supervision, but enough of the negativity already. It’s starting to eat on me. I just feel like jumping on a ferry and jump off it just to make people see that I will try to float regardless of the fact that I am nothing but TERRIFIED of the sea.

Dah, dah. Enough of this negativity.

Off to bed I go.

May 15, 2008

moving on...

I’m officially free of work, as of this morning at 8.15. My ties with UiTM were officially severed (subject to getting a release letter, interview and God forbid, supple paper). Now that I’m free, I don’t know what to do. Isn’t it ironic how much we want free time yet know nothing of how to spend it? That’s human, I guess.

So, to make life more fulfilling (I’m trying hard to do this one), I started working (more like editing actually) on my resume. Okay, it isn’t really mine because I didn’t draft it; it was Abdul’s. But it landed him several jobs, so I reckon it must be a really good one.

And here I am browsing through If it weren’t for me being bound to JPA, I would have probably applied for all these interesting jobs I see listed. It’s ironic, you see; and I think this was the topic my brother and I talked about yesterday. I’ve been studying law for 5 years now. And mind you, 5 gruelling years isn’t at all a short period of time. No sirree.

Throughout these 9 semesters, I only failed to get DL once. And no, I am not bragging. I’m just trying to come to my point. This means that I can do well in this field which I have chosen to study. Yet, after all these years, I still don’t and cannot find passion in any subject in particular.

Upon reflection, I realised that I actually just love working things out. If I can’t get along with people, I try and get along. If I didn’t know a subject, I make sure I know. If I don’t like to study, I try to like to study. All in all, I’ve been trying my utmost best in doing everything that I’m faced with; thus there lies the secret to my success all these years. Not so secret, don’t you think?

So, you see. there is really nothing special in scoring for your exams when in your heart, there are so many other things you want to do; like travelling, shopping and just renewing almost severed ties with old friends whom I have (unintentionally) abandoned. There’s nothing I would like to do right now other than getting away from the legal fraternity for a bit. I know this is a very dangerous thing to wish upon, I know. It might prove to be detrimental to me. But... do you get it when you just feel like doing something totally different than what you have learnt?

And it doesn’t help that is currently enticing me with all kinds of weird albeit interesting positions, which are (I think) worth giving a try. The only problem with working life is that it’s no longer like those part time jobs which we once did, which we could leave when we felt like we’ve gained enough from it. Now and this time round, it’s just different. We need to consider all options carefully before we actually come to a job most suited for us (in the words of Batsss). Yet, at the same time, I’m getting more and more jittery looking at people applying for jobs (and getting them!) while I sit here wondering whether I should start applying or whether I should just wait until my results come out, then decide.

The results are just in 3 weeks time! Wish me luck people. Meanwhile, I’ll have to find ways and means to make up to people whom I have not been in touch with. Sometimes, I just wish I could make them understand...

Toodles people! Back to I go. Let’s hope I don’t make the wrong decisions... let’s hope I’ll find something I’m really, really passionate about. AMIN...

May 14, 2008

ice cube junkie

Notice that it’s getting hotter and hotter day after day after day? Yes, the weather right now is absolutely crazy. It’s scorching hot that I cannot sit still in the car while the engine heats without feeling sweat trickle down my forehead, temples and on my scalp down to my neck into my tshirt/shirt!

And it’s been going on for days and days now though there are occasional showers just to cool things down. I think alot of us are becoming ice cube junkies. More and more iced drinks ordered at mamak stalls and at other restaurants in general. Like most people I know, I’ve become one of those ice cube junkies too! Iced chocolate in the afternoon and now mcflurry for dinner.

The chocolate and vanilla really doesn’t help in quenching the thirst from this hot and scorching weather, but hey, what do we care about. It brings enough comfort in knowing that the drinks and ice creams are icy and supposedly cooling.

I’ve become such an ice cube junkie. Wouldn’t it be nice to plop ice into our mouths all night long to keep the heat away. One bag of ice cube a day, keeps the heat away, away!

May 11, 2008

how i wish Mama

When I was in school, my mom came to visit me every mother’s day. She never came for the corny unnecessary presents I bought her, nor did she come for the (cheap) cards that I either made or bought for her. It was her day, yet she came to me with my favourite ayam masak lemak with nangka and ikan keli masak cili. She came to me with a tikar, sat down on the wakaf floor and listened to me crying my heart out. She came to me and held my hand while I was studying because this time always happens to be during the examinations.

And before she went back, I would always, always fight with her. If I didn’t fight with her, I would be crying my eyeballs out until my eyes looked like they were non-existent on my face. For the whole 5 years I was in college, my mother never went back home without me not crying on Mother’s Day.

We’ve all come such a long way since then. Now, it’s my sister’s turn. She throws fewer tantrums, but she demands more from my parents. Yet, there my mother is, treating my sister to a meal and drink at Secret Recipe, hearing my sister pour her heart out, worrying that my sister is too stressed out to sit for her mid-year examinations. And she does this all on her day, when right thing would be for us to treat her, instead of vice versa.

I wish things were better for her, but she seems to not mind at all. For her, what is important is that she sees her children grow to become useful people.

Because of my never ending assignments, I didn’t plan a Mother’s Day celebration at all. I didn’t even have a card yet that morning. So, when she left for Seremban for a wedding, I took a drive to OU and headed to Memory Lane. There were several cheap and corny cards like the ones I bought when I was in school. But there were also those within the more exclusive albeit extremely expensive range.

And although I failed to properly celebrate her with good food (which she would be furious since she’s trying to cut down on the food intake), I’m glad I grabbed one of those really special cards for her. After all, my Mom is so much more worth it than any of those cards. She even cried when she read the card because she knew that although i didn't make it myself, i really meant all that the card said.

I really wished that we had more time...

I really wished that life weren’t so hectic...

And I really wished that we could just sit, look at each other and talk like we always do...

Mama, you are close to heart although I don’t always tell you.

Mama, I’m sorry that I hurt you sometimes...

Mama, thank you for your patience...

Mama, I will never be even half as good as you are...

Mama, I don’t know what I’ll do without you...

I’m sorry I’m bad sometimes though I try very hard not to be...

I love you, Mama. I really do...

May 10, 2008

balas dendam terhadap penat

these are pictures from the night before Civil Procedure

mamita and her pink hp

Advanced Civil Procedure II... it took the cool out of EVERYONE!

I didn’t think that my post exam celebrations would begin THIS early. Seriously. I thought I’d take a day off to recuperate and sleep before going out. But then, everyone is full of vengeance; imagine a year of deprivation of good entertainment and something other than studies and work to talk about (for me at least). So, yes, the celebrations began... immediately after the last paper.

Tak berapa sedar diri that we’ve still got lots of work to. Hihiih. Whatever.

So, won’t tell much, I’m just going to post pictures so that you can see how coocoo we’ve all become after a year of LLB Honours programme. :)

picnic with FA and FP


karaoke at Klang... these ppl will be greatly missed!

there are actually more pictures to come but i haven't got them off Lee yet. i'll update once available. i think i have to get down to work because we have to submit OP on Monday. now how crappy is that, huh?

i'm just hoping that i actually have enough money for retail therapy right now. i just need to buy something to take this stress out of meeeeee

May 06, 2008

be careful what you wish for.

Next time, I’ve got to be more careful what I wish for. Likewise, you’ve got to be careful what you wish for... you might not have your safety net ready to catch you from your fall...

I got my wish. Serves me right.

May 05, 2008


The fact remains that Aquarians THINK.TOO.MUCH. Period. I don’t know why but I think we all share the same disposition; not that we can help it or that we actually like it. That’s totally irrelevant anyways. Point is, we all like to think too much.

There are times when I think; is the grass really greener on the other side? After much observation and thinking (of course), I find that alot of people lead unsatisfactory lives, wishing that they were at the other side of the bank where people claim that the grass is greener.

In most cases, I think that the grass is actually not that green on the other side. It might be greener (just a little bit) but it doesn’t mean that our shade of green is any less unique. Get it? Sometimes, just sometimes, we wished for things which would never be. No wonder we’re so unhappy; we seem to be content in pining over what we don’t have. I wonder why we don’t just appreciate every living moment we are blessed with. Probably then, we would be able to see how green our green really is, yes?

May 04, 2008

Breakfast. Alien doughnut, toasted bread, meatloaf and omelette. Yes, I am a siput with a very big tummy. I don’t care. The exams, or more like the next 2 papers are taking the cool out of me. To begin with, I never had that much cool anyways where final exams are concerned! So, yes, go figure the state I am currently in right now. It is not a very good state of mind, body and soul... AT ALL.

I’m currently reading for my Criminal Procedure paper. It’s supposedly not so tough because everything is inside the statute and Tuan Lee does not really mind if you failed to list down 20 cases for each point you’re trying to make. After all, he’s not Daddy Jesh. But despite all that, his paper is giving me butterflies in my tummy. Grrrrrrrr....

Shoot, shoot, shoot. Bang, die.

I’m so dead, especially if I continue to not do anything but complain.

So, I’m going to get down to work now. Ting tong. Goodbye.