I have to stop being so angry. I really have to. To begin with, I’m not so sure what ‘m so mad about. I think it might be a result of accumulated anger that I have been safely containing for the past 10 weeks or so. Because truth to be told, I don’t think I’ve been this emotionally wrecked before. I don’t think I have been acting this way at all in the past 10 weeks at least, and my acting like this is affecting everything in my life.
I don’t know. It’s affecting my Ramadhan and I don’t like that at all. I don’t like waking up in the morning already swearing away at an anger that just wouldn’t go away. Perhaps it’s just a test to see if I can take control of that anger by the horns and not let it take over me.
But why does it have to be so hard? “… Nobody said it was easy…” fine, I know, I know. Nobody ever said that it was going to be easy. But no one ever said that it would be this hard. I’m not saying that what I’m going through is freaking, freaking tough to the point that I cannot handle. It’s just the fact that it’s making me emotionally tired that’s taxing.
I don’t know. I really don’t. I guess I’m lost for words already. I don’t have much to say. To begin with, I don’t have much of a life either. So, yeah. There goes. A mindless entry from a good girl gone bad. I miss the old me. I don’t want to be angry anymore :((