deception

Every single week, we all come back home for the weekend with the impression that the worst is over. Every. Single. Week. Every other weekend, we make plans of where to go; we make plans to hang out with friends, we make plans to meet up, we make plans to go home to our families, we make plans to eat at nice places because truly, we are all deprived of the best things in life. But every single weekend, we go back home deceived. We are so busy that we all don’t realize what a deceitful programme Honours really is. Or probably we are all in denial, thinking that things will eventually get better.

Whatever it is, I’m starting to think real hard about things. If I haven’t mentioned this anywhere earlier, I’m saying this now; I wouldn’t have thought that this is humanly possible to endure if no batch has ever passed this programme. If I’ve said it somewhere before, then, I must be repeating myself for the thousandth time.

I don’t know. I haven’t been home for at least 4 weeks now, and not because I don’t want to. It’s just that, I’ll get homesick once I’m there, making it harder and harder to leave. And making it harder and harder for me to endure each week. I can’t even talk to my mom now because I miss her so much.

I think they intentionally designed it to be this way so that we would persevere in the real world. (and just in case you're smirking, I knew this a long time ago. I'm just thinking aloud). At this point, I think no one can afford to break down and crack. The last thing we all should do to is to succumb under this pressing pressure. I guess I’m pep-talking myself.

I really should get back to work, as there are tonnes and tonnes of things undone.

“and I can’t explain why it’s not enough, coz I’d give it all to you… do you see how much I need you right now?”