July 16, 2007

the climb up

The first week has gone…
I don’t know how to describe what I feel because I honestly am I a daze. Classes have begun and I guess they’re all okay, but I feel a little bit lost because I don’t know how I’ll cope when the workload piles on and the tensions rise.
So far, everything has been going on just fine. I have very cooperative firm mates, which I am of course, extremely thankful for, and for now, I am content that I don’t have to deal with petty squabbles or internal problems.
I guess I’m just more worried of myself and the expectations I have of my own performance.
I intend to do well, no matter how tough it will be.
And I intend to do my best.
For now, it’s safe to say that the climb up to Level 7 is feeling shorter by the day. For now, that suffices to make me feel like I will survive.

July 07, 2007

it ends tonight

I just got back from a burger outing with my brother and dad. We always have these little outings when one of us is going off to campus. It’s been a superbly great holiday. Probably one of the best ones next to NZ. And it ends tonight. But today has been a great ending to a super long break and a great start to a super hellish semester.

I had been thinking about it for quite some time and I don’t know why. I mean, it came to a point, to this point of cannot tahan anymore. I don’t know why. It was never promoted or recommended to me, I just wanted to have it.

So, when I crave for something, I naturally called up my bingeing partner and she naturally agreed. Thank you, Nadd laling for accompanying me. Great company and great food make a good team indeed.

We talked and talked like we always do and Nadd looked lovely! I mean, really gorgeous! It’s been quite some time since I last saw her so excuse my enthusiasm. And the food was absolutely delicious. I mean, I could have had plain pancakes with maple syrup and I would have been happy enough. But you’ll never guess what I ordered so I’ll post pictures for you to see.

Our before and afters. Paddington’s House of Pancakes = Bliss.

Being the pig that I am, I gobbled everything up because I hadn’t eaten anything solid or substantial yet (unless of course you want to count Twiggies as solid, substantial food(?)). And I enjoyed every.single.bite. Every.Single.Bit. Am I repeating? Did I repeat that? Yes, I am and did because the food is just too good. I mean, no one can make me finish my food like Nadd can, that’s for sure, but the food was seriously good. And they’ve got like this really lengthy menu with pancakes from all over the world; it was hard to choose from to begin with. I wonder why they didn’t insert Malaysia’s lempeng, though… that would have been fun! Huhu. But anyways, I really had fun with Nadd today.

And later on in the evening, I went to OU to meet with my housemates. Then, we headed to The Curve too after OU. I can’t believe how much I miss them. We really are a silly, fun batch of people, really. They had dinner at my place tonight and we were talking and gossiping some more, like always. It was all in good fun.

my bro and I high on sugar

And now, I’m like high on sugar because I took some Milo with my burger. I can’t sleep though I need to get up really early tomorrow. I know I should get used to this (getting up early and everything), but I really don’t want to yet. I haven’t had enough rest! I’m still in holiday mode! But whatever my excuse is, I know it ends tonight and starts tomorrow. So be it. Let’s get this year over and done with, “Honourable” people! Let’s get this done and over with.

July 06, 2007

Growing Up, Honey...

I’m 22 years old this year and as much as I hate to admit it, I am getting older. I hate the entire package which comes along with being older; the eye bags, the crow’s feet around the eyes, the responsibilities. But like I said, I hate to admit but I am getting older. Not old, just older.

I know being older does not necessarily mean its all work, no play and all responsibilities and no fun at all. After all, even an old girl deserves a break sometimes, right? But then again, the whole thing about growing up is just about all that; a whole load of responsibilities and a whole load of shite.

Probably, I don’t yet have that many responsibilities. I’m not married, I haven’t started a family and I don’t have taxes to pay, but only not yet and I’m bound to some time in my life, right? So, I think we should all start thinking about the future now instead of waiting for it to land at our doorsteps and then only figuring out what to do.

I mean, let’s face it. It’s been years since OU, MidValley and The Curve opened and it’s also been years since I first went roaming aimlessly around the malls looking for everything and nothing in it. The excitement is kind of gone, really, and I don’t really see that much fun in any of them anymore. Please, I’m not even excited about fast food anymore. Not as much as I used to be anyways.

My idea of a good outing is now a plate of meatballs with a good friend while chatting over life, future and pirated CDs and a drive to nowhere with Mr. Abdul while we discuss on how to become better people. Believe it or not, I even enjoy babysitting and visiting places of interest in Malaysia. Boring, huh? Not really if you’re at the same brainwave and have entered into that particular realm or phase in life.

I’ve had loads of fun being an adolescent and also a young adult. Probably, I haven’t seen enough to be able to say, “been there, done that” yet, but I’ve come close to it. And it might just suffice at this point in time. Probably I will continue when the opportunity comes, but enough or not is not really the point in question.

I’m just past that period where I checked out guys in malls because to begin with, I never really was that kind of girl who did that kind of thing. I’ve gone past that period where I went to malls to hang out because I’ve nothing better to do. I’ve just gone past that period, really and I’m not telling you that this is all normal because it’s kind of weird, really, feeling all this.

The mall is now a place where I look for food, birthday presents, a place where I accompany my mom and her fetishes over handbags and of course, a place where I babysit my sister when she’s out with her friends.

With all this growing up, my preferences have just shifted. I can’t help it that it’s no longer what it used to be, but malls don’t give me the same kind of high it used to.

I haven’t gone haywire and grown up entirely. I still go gugu gaga over Wentworth Miller and Jude Law. I still throw tantrums when I feel like my sister is getting preferential treatment. I sulk and whine when my mom goes out and doesn’t bring me along. I still watch Disney Channel. I still love plush toys. I have cravings like waffles and meatballs and I have some crazy impulses which some of them you don’t really need to know.

After all, the child in me is still very much alive.

But I make firmer decisions now. I am sure of what I like and what I don’t like. I have a more stable relationship and I handle it better. I advise my mom on her parenting and give her ideas on her work. I have a little space of my own, which I pay for myself (of course with a little help of allowance given by Dad), but I manage my own finances and never ask for more than that which is given. I’ve been given a car and I fill the tank myself. I work to get extra cash and I’ve also learnt to prioritise.

I don’t know if I’m cut and built for the workplace yet, but I’ll have to be by next year. I’m graduating once end of this year, insya Allah and again end of next year with my Honours and I’m proud that I have grown up well. As much as growing up scares me and is changing my life, really, I am glad that I have grown to become this person that I now am.

I am not really a girl anymore, I must say, though I am not much of a woman yet either. I’m just at that transitional stage where only people whom have been there will ever understand. In fact, even I don't quite get it yet...


That stands for, Nescafe Addict Non-Anonymous.

For a week during this blissful holiday, I was sick. I am very seldom sick, which makes every sick moment of my life very, very sickening. I guess it accumulates to once a year or two years that when I’m sick, it’s really, really bad.

When I was sick, I couldn’t take solids, naturally and I also couldn’t stand any dairies because if I consumed them, I would be waiting at my toilet bowl for something to come out of either end of my body. And yes, I am aware of how disgusting that sounds, but I really don’t have any other better or subtle way of putting it into words.

Because I couldn’t stand dairies, the only source of caffeine that I got was from thick, no-sugar tea. And trust me, teas should not be classified as caffeine because it does not give me the jolt that I need to start my day, and with no sugar, I might as well eat bitter gourd. But I lived on it for a week or so, so that I would get well.

While I was sick, I realized my dependency on the caffeine we all know by the name of Nescafe. Yes, Nescafe, not Indocafe or Aik Cheong or anything else because the latter make me sicker since it makes me constipate.

So, anyhow, when I didn’t take Nescafe, I felt weak, my joints were aching, my back was especially weak, I couldn’t sit straight, I could barely stand up and at some point, I was sweating like a pig, only my sweat was damn cold (okay so maybe I was the one who was cold, but what the hell). And every time I ate something or more specifically attempted to drink Nescafe, I wasn’t able to hold it down.

Realizing what a terrible effect it had on me, I stopped taking Nescafe altogether even after I was well, and resorted to teas of all kinds and Milo and sometimes Horlicks. Though it did help, it still didn’t give me the desired effect, which is the very necessary jolt to start my day.

So, I sometimes still took my Nescafe, and I think today is the 2nd time in 4 weeks since I was sick that I am drinking it. So, why is it that instead of giving me this JOLT, it is giving me a freaking tummyache?

Am I allergic to it now, or what? The moment I consume it, I purge it. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? I can’t quit coffee now. I mean, I’m like THE addict, how the hell am I supposed to quit when the semester’s starting and I need more than just a jolt to start my day. I might probably even need painkillers.

Okay, so now, I’m embarrassed to be telling you of my bowel and potty problems, but since I’ve typed this out anyways and my blog is in dire need of some update, I’ll post this. Sorry if I’ve disgusted anything or anyone. Long live, coffee! Stop giving me problems.

July 04, 2007

JIKI, i love

It’s not like me to abandon my blog, especially when on a holiday. But don’t blame me, I’ve had such a blast these past few days even an entry seemed unnecessary. It was basically an act on a very, very crazy impulse. But sometimes, even impulsive acts can turn out to be great in the end.

I would love to elaborate, but I honestly don’t know where to start. I had days of bingeing like nobody’s business. I ate everything listed in my "visit list", thank you to my Mr. Saya Sangat Sayang for fulfilling my cravings. You name it; Jiki Kuewteow (damn! I’m salivating as I’m typing.). For those whom have tasted Tasik’s Kuewteow in Shah Alam, or Kafe 13’s Kuewteow, Jiki is far, far better, better! I’m starting to wonder what they put inside because it is kind of addictive, to be very honest. Imagine me, who very seldom finishes her meal, finishing a plateful of kuewteow with egg. Do I still have to further elaborate how scrumptious it is? I had my Baba Laksa, I ate ice cream goreng, I ate grilled burger, I got my chicken cheese naan (menyesal tak habis), I drank air pisang, and we shared a waffle… now, what else have I missed? And I also ate ayam bakar at MFA. Haih.. Why do they have so much good food there?

And now, I am back and I am stuck with the kilos. But guess what? I really don’t care because it was worth it. I basically ate a lot, laughed a lot, went around a lot, drove a lot, slept a lot and also gossiped a lot. I did a lot of things, basically. And now, I’m feeling kind of lost because it’s in the past tense and I wish it didn’t have to end.

I also had the chance of meeting a lot of new people and honestly I really can’t remember most of their names, except for those with the SRC shirts because they had their names embossed on their shirts. And I felt like I belonged. This, I think is the most important of all because I took such a long time to feel comfortable in my own skin. Probably, I’ve found a common ground we can all build a friendship on, and I am absolutely happy for this.

And this Saturday, all my fun ends because everything starts. I’ll be off for a briefing on Saturday morning and after that, WELCOME HELL. Meanwhile, I’m just having fun sleeping and waking up late and of course, putting on weight while trying to lose them at the same time..

Thank you Yumni for letting me stay at your place, and Tracy too, though I didn’t get to chit chat with you much because I was too bummed out that night. Thank you Abdul for the car and the jalan-jalan. Thank you Manto for driving us around. Thank you Andrea for the burger. And thank you to Andrea’s burger-selling team for trusting me with the burgers. I had a blast!

I will be back with more updates. But for now, I’m just going to savour my joy. And I so want to watch Transformers again. Teman saya sesiapa, please?