March 14, 2018

March(ing) On.

Fabulous February done and dusted and it was indeed 28 of the happiest (albeit busiest!) days I've had so far. 

I say busiest because apart from the happy days, I literally worked and worked and worked for all 20 working days, never leaving the office any earlier than 6.00 p.m. and even continued working on some weekends. I can't even explain how exhausting it got on some days but... it was all worth it in the end because The Team managed to submit the matter we were working on just as February was closing its doors!

The satisfaction I felt was just phenomenal... I can't even begin to explain how that feels!

With that, I decided that no matter how difficult these coming months will be, I shall continue marching on, pun intended (HAHA)

...

And that Ladies and Gents is the post I started writing on 1.3.2018 which I have yet to complete until today. 14 days into March and I really have been marching on, sticking true to my word.

But if I could be a little honest here, I'm starting to feel the heat of all my fervent.

Though marching on has indeed been a good game plan going forward, I do also think that I deserve a little pause; some sort of break if you like... just so I'm able to regain my strength and renew my spirits.

And though I have yet to figure out just what I'm going to do to avoid getting jaded (like I did before)... I know for a fact that sooner or later, I must do something about this situation I am in because like it or not, I need to continue marching on, like I said I would --

-- only this time, I've learned my lesson to not be too hard on myself.

I know I can do this, so next half of March, bring it on!

February 14, 2018

ticking boxes off my grateful list.

14/28


I turned 33 on 12/28 and I'm feeling absolutely amazing!


It all began with an amazing reunion weekend with the the TKC9802 girls and the spill over of good vibes made its way all the way to Monday, which was my birthday.


My husband, being the awesome person that he is, did not think that going to IKEA was a good idea. After all, he did take leave specifically to celebrate my birthday and we could go to IKEA like... any.time. So he suggested that we head to GPO instead -- without the kids. And though I didn't want anything particular, I thought that it would be a good getaway for us.

And boy, did we have fun! We had good coffee to start the day, I got to wear white (refer last post), we tried out a new place for lunch and though I didn't get myself anything fancy (much to my husband's dismay), I got exactly the kind of day that I wanted... where I get to relax and not think about anything at all. And most importantly, we headed home feeling happy that we spent the day being happy.

And just when I thought the celebrations have ended, my colleagues surprised me with a birthday lunch complete with K-Fry (like OMG!!!), balloons and the whole works. I was very pleasantly surprised because although we have good working relationship with each other, we seldom get to lounge around over lunch together, socialising and talking about other than work due to our crazy schedules. So today's surprise was just out of this world for me and I really felt the love.

The first 45 days of 2018 has so far been extremely kind to me and I've been able to tick off so much from my Grateful List. And despite knowing that life comes with its own inevitable occasional sadness, I hope that 2018 would continue to be as awesome as it has been to me so far.

Much


February 02, 2018

33/365

33/365.

Despite how down-ish I felt after I came back from our Perth trip, I survived January! *throws confetti*

Now that February (my favourite month!) is here and I'm only 10 days shy from turning 33, naturally, my better half has started asking me what I'd like as a present this year. He tells me that I look like a girl who's got everything (that she needs). So, he can't think about surprising me with something that I might even remotely like.

Can't blame him for feeling that way because I really do have everything (that I need). So... yeah. Let's just say that on that day, I'd like to have some good breakfast... followed by a whole day out, I'd like to wear white without worry (random, I know), and I'd be happy to spend the day in Ikea scouting for ideas because my last search on Pinterest was "ideas for 7-year old bedroom".... so yes, that says alot about my current state of mind, don't you think? Haha.

xxx

Speaking of dates, I have always had this thing about dates (both the verb and noun). I've always looked forward to particular dates because they matter(ed) a lot to me. Thing is, unlike the typical person who commands the "law of attraction", I seem to have the absolute opposite effect on such law... and I always find myself frustrated with the outcome of the date (sometimes verb, sometimes noun). And most times, it's not due to anyone's doing but my own and I have absolutely no idea why the day turns out so differently than how I envisioned it to be.

Is it because I envisioned it to be absolutely perfect (which is impossible on any given day); or
Could it be that I'm the one who can't handle the day when it doesn't turn out the way I thought it should have?

So... I've taken a little precautionary action on my part about planning dates.

Because I can't control when I would feel happy or sad or excited or meh... and that means that when I expect myself to be all upbeat and excited and happy on any given date AND I DON'T, I think I put myself under unnecessary stress to put in extra effort into everything even when I don't feel like it.

So, here's to today -- 33/365, 10 days to the day I turn 33.

Though I do hope that I'd feel super duper happy on the day that I'd turn a year older because 12/2 matters (to me), but for now, I think I'd be happy knowing that I'll be okay if the day turns out differently.


January 25, 2018

we're off to a good start (hopefully)

25/365.

It's already 25 days into 2018... but I still hope that it isn't too late to wish everyone a very Happy New Year! 

If you've been following this space, you'd know that I have, for a while now, been anticipating a little something something and yes, if you haven't already guessed it, that little something something has been keeping me away from updating this space.

So, what have I been anticipating?

Well, 7 years after our last trip... we decided to go back to Perth... and this time with our kids.

And it was simply...
.
.
.
.
.
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
EXHAUSTING

True story, hahaha!

But, please, don't get me wrong... it was really a very memorable trip for us four.

It's actually our first time traveling on board a flight and to a foreign country with both kids so the learning curve (for all of us) was super steep. Physically, we were of course overly prepared thanks to a certain psycho mom in the house *insert flips tudung icon*, but as with any kid, you really cannot predict how unpredictable they would be... so yeah...

We went to Perth with minds totally and completely prepared for all eventualities. And some of the worst things that could happen, did happen - like how we lost (and found) our passports, like how Luqman was so sick that he finished a whole bottle of PCM the first 3 days we were there and instead of spending whole days exploring Perth like we did on our honeymoon, we settled for 1/2 day trips to avoid the kids from over exertion. We managed to cover all the bases and all in all, everyone had the time of our lives. Reminiscing Perth is one of our favourite pastimes these days and although for the most part, I honestly did feel super duper exhausted, here I am, missing Perth. *mysterious*

For our first long-haul trip with both kids, I think we did pretty well. *pats self on back*

I'm not so sure how long it'll take for me to update on what we did while we were there, for my own keepsakes, of course... but I really want to share our itinerary with everyone, just in case anyone travelling with kids would like to know what we can do in Perth for 8 days 7 nights, what to expect and not to expect and so on and so forth.

But for now, I'll sign this off with some of our trip's highlights.




December 28, 2017

on the receiving end of rebellion

Mid-2018 will mark my 10th year in Service. 

And my oh my, what a long way I have come from that innocent young officer who once walked through the doors on my first day of work.

I admit that I wasn't the instant favourite. In fact, since I did pretty well in University, I kind of felt entitled -- like I wasn't supposed to be tasked with the "menial" tasks which I was tasked with; that I was worth SO MUCH MORE -- that I deserved whatever it is that I thought I deserved.

Thing is, just like in any organisation, respect is earned; and so is trust. 

And though I learned the hard and long way, at least I took the time to learn.

xx
 
Now 10 years on, I find myself on the receiving end of rebellion.

I find myself being disappointed with the current breed/crop of officers reporting to duty. I keep thinking about why and how they turned out the way they turned out -- though I must admit that not everything is bad about them, no. They know leeways and loopholes and shortcuts of all sorts and some can be really smart when they put their mind over matter. BUT BUT BUT -- for "old timers" like myself, some successes cannot be reached via shortcuts. And no matter how "open to change" I am and should be about "evolution", there are some things which cannot be substituted, one of them being PURE HARD WORK.

Thing is, there's a grave misconception about "pure hard work". People think that people who put in pure hard work don't "work smart" because there are seemingly "smarter" and "shorter" ways to reach the intended result. But the thing is, if you are not "technically sound" about a particular subject matter you are tasked to, can you really work smart without going that extra mile i.e. putting in the extra effort? 

From years of personal observation, many of us don't think that putting in that extra effort is worth what it really is. Many perceive their hard work to be of no use because Service is so big so really, what is the point of working so hard anyway? Would anyone even care to recognise our efforts in any way?

But why must it always be about what other people think? What about what you think about yourself and how well-earned your money is? I know a thing or two about the importance of getting validation and how hard it can be, but it isn't an impossible feat. What I've learned in this past decade is that the harder I try to make others happy, the less happy I become with the end results. And I'm not saying that we should defy authority on purpose just to prove our worth - I'm just saying that for the most part, you should be yourself -- 

Speaking of which... I am not a rebel at heart and rebellion never looked good on me. To many, I may look like the perfect product of brainwash, whose life revolves around that " Perfect Life Checklist", who chooses to be "safe" and "boring" because I toe the line and conform to the norms of the society. 

The thing is, I'm HAPPY.

Has anyone ever wondered whether I am happy -- despite my seemingly "routine life" and "lack of richness" (i.e. money)? 

Have you ever felt liberated to not be in debt? To not be under the pressure of owning branded goods? To not compare how well your children are doing next to the next genius kid in town who can spell a 100 words at the age of 5? To feel ENOUGH? Have you?

If you haven't, then, you should really stop judging the way I live my life and my personal preference of "staying safe" -- because I have never questioned anyone's personal choices in life no matter how much I disagree. 

Because like I said before, I am HAPPY -- with my life -- the one I chose. So, I think questions about being hard working, and safe and boring should stop because it's bordering on becoming personal insult.

xx

So, maybe I've digressed a little from the original intent of writing this post. 

But it feels good to get this off my chest. 

Because being at the receiving end of rebellion is no fun. 

Dealing with people who think that defying authority just to prove a point isn't fun.

And frankly, people who think that working hard is overrated are way too overrated.

At least I'm pulling my own weight. So, be thankful about that.