blessings for the introverted soul and a little about loving yourself.

I see alot of people doing their own version of #lockdownchallenge and it's rather entertaining to see how people are trying their best to cope and make things interesting in these trying times. And though I haven't joined in any of these challenges myself, I too cope with being cooped up in my own way. 

By nature, I am (mostly) an introvert, so spending too much time with others (even family) drains my energy. I used to be ashamed to admit this, but now that I've really come to terms with this fact, I'm happy that I've identified one of the main reasons why I always need to retract and recharge and take a breather from things. 

 Be that as it may, my introverted nature has caused me to be extremely reluctant to join in talks or events or greet and meets because I simply don't know what to say and do on such occasions. Small talk really isn't my ball game HAHA, I'm really awkward around people I don't know and even if I go with someone I know, being in these events physically causes me a fair bit of discomfort. Plus, my main aim in joining events or classes is predominantly because I want to learn something new and so mingling and making connections is just... well... an ancillary consequence that I anticipate but don't really care for. Hence, with all of this in mind... I never joined any of the talks I was interested in...

until recently... my other half asked me if I'd like to attend an online talk and the speaker was none other than Mizi Wahid! 

I have all 3 of his books, finished reading 2/3 (stopped mid-way You Are Loved because I started on Secrets of Divine Love and I got hooked hehe), and I have re-read The Art of Letting God again and again. So, anyway, I was just trying to prove my point that I am an avid fan of his works --

OF COURSE I SAID YES WHEN MY HUSBAND ASKED!

And so, we sat there, listening to his one hour talk (+Q&A) and I'm happy to report that I'm such a happy clam! Not only was I able to attend my first talk ever, I was able to achieve the exact thing that I want, which is... more knowledge! Aaaa, days like this are such blessings for an introverted soul such as myself!

...

One of the questions, which was asked during that session is one that I myself have been really interested about, which is --

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SELF-LOVE AND SELFISHNESS.

Where do we draw the line?

Some time in 2018, when I was going through a period of intense personal growth, I actually asked one of colleagues (whom I truly love and respect) -- of whether I should "simply be myself because God made me this way" OR if I needed to change myself so that others are pleased with me.

And her answer then was so simple -- 

"Allah made us all with our own set of characteristics, quirks, weaknesses. But those are only tests for us because no way Allah did Allah mean for us to be of  harm to others. So, if our characteristics, quirks and weaknesses cause harm to others, then, that is the indication that we need to change our ways -- not so they are pleased with us, but so that we stop being a harm to them.".

And that answer has stuck with me since then... and it has made me change some of my ways -- those which I felt were harming others and also those which I felt were self-destructive.

Turns out, Mizi Wahid in his book "You Are Loved" also said --

"Loving yourself does not mean that it gives you the license to push for the right to be accepted even when you display rude, selfish, and obnoxious behaviour.

I had to write about his briefly, as I am seeing more and more such behaviour being displayed, most apparently on social media. I have noticed that in the quest of trying to encourage more voices to be open and heard, and for individuals to be unapologetic for who they are, some have misunderstood the whole point and believe that they no longer have to be nice and courteous to people anymore. And that is just not right."

With that, let us all remember that we were placed on this earth for a purpose and that purpose is never to harm others, or ourselves.

Here's to hoping that today has been a good one, and that it will continue to be great :)