February 28, 2010


It's a little bit impossible to get anything done at the moment and I don't know why. I'll take it on the weather because it has been quite literally like hell of late.

No amount of water can keep me sane and I'm always sleepy. Tsk. It doesn't help that I wish for holidays like ALL THE TIME.

I just came to the real realisation that Jaja is really married and that I will no longer have sleepovers at 6/6L. That was like my second home for the LONGEST time. Okay, I'm getting a little bit emotional now.

I have always loved Malacca although it is hotter than any other state AT ALL TIMES (not just during the hot season). We missed out on cendol and laksa baba yesterday. We missed out on Pak Putra. One day is never enough where Malacca is concerned.

I miss the good old times.

I miss my boyfriend.

I wish I could repeat this weekend a thousand times over because my Kesayangans never fail to give me anything less than great fun loving time.

My playlist is on replay at the moment and I'm annoyed but I'm not changing the songs.

It's clear that I'm uninspired. Isn't it?

February 24, 2010


While I was writing that previous post last night, I made mental notes about what I should and should not do before today came. Since last weekend was kind of hectic, the need for a good dose of sleep this week is more than ever. For 2 days in a row now, I tripped getting out of bed because so many things were on the floor. I only ironed my shirt before going to work in the morning and packed my bags as I was descending the stairs. Not a good way to start your morning, I know.

So, I made a mental list:

  • must clear windowseat of all folded clothes. put them in cupboard to make way for newly folded clothes;
  • must hang work clothes for tomorrow where i can see them so that i can iron them tonight;
  • must pack handbag because finding handphone and all else is now a great hassle. (notice that i hardly leave my handphone at home lately? i worked out a system! *pats myself on back*);
  • must pack futsal bag. *ok checked*. this is the only thing i did immediately after i thought of it;
  • must isi botol air with Rx-Water now, not in the morning;
  • must not snooze alarm more than twice tomorrow morning because that makes you groggy (i managed to do this!)*pats myself on back again*; AND
  • must not stay online for too long (which i failed MISERABLY!);

But, this morning started off considerably better than the past 2 days. Probably that's because I didn't snooze so many times. And probably also because I managed to get something out of the cupboard which needs nada ironing. And since I didn't have to send my mom this morning, I didn't need to rush that much after feeding the cat, etc., I really thought that I didn't do so badly after all this morning.

But, the first conversation I had this morning as I reached the office goes as follows:

"KChik, tell me you've got an extra pair of shoes in the car?"


"Iyeay!!!!!! I'll see you later!"

Thank God we all grew up in the same place so we more or less own everything in the same size. Must be the nasik kawah.

So, kesimpulannya, lain kali dengar lah nasihat diri sendiri dan pack semua benda the night before. Better still, never ever take your shoes out of your car. After all, apa guna boot besar-besar,ye dak ;)

See yah tonight girlies!

February 23, 2010

fools like me.

There are many things that we, as individuals can do. For instance, my Boss' PA is a great seamstress. Seriously. Send your clothes to her for beading etc. and she will sit through her lunch, sewing and sewing non-stop. She's honest too because she won't take orders for kebaya etc., knowing that she won't be able to deliver results.

Some of us are great orators. Take Syaheed (schoold friend) and Danial (Varsity friend) for example. They can be standing on a rostrum or under an apple tree and they (still) convince people with their speeches. I'm almost always left amazed.

I can make cards and write funny articles and take good photos (when I'm in the mood) and play sports quite well. But to be involved as an actress or to plan a stage production is something which is totally and completely out of my forte. That part of my creativity is very rarely used, not just because I choose to not use it, but it's just something I hardly have flair in.

But whatever my argument may be, a job is a job and there are things out of the realm of our expertise (and control) which we just have to do, like it or not.

I'm still wondering why I was selected to head this competition/performance for the dinner. I execute plans, I don't PLAN the PLAN. Get it? I won't make noise at all if someone asked me to maintain the Advi Blog (which we already have) or to keep track of monthly newsletters because those things are close to my heart.

Stage productions are just not my cup of tea. Oh God, why me? Why do they pick fools like me? I'm really not up to this.

February 22, 2010

jangkitan yang baik.

I really wanted to update about the other things which happened on Saturday first, but I was upset because I didn't bring Theodore with me then, so I obviously had to wait until the rest of the girls started uploading their stash first.

Another one of our futsal gang got engaged last Saturday. Considering the circumstances on that morning, I am kind of amazed (and obviously happy tak terkata) that I managed to join my girls.

I woke up with a really long session of menggeliat. Until Jaja's mummy told Simba (her cat) that she found a friend for him. Heee heee. Yes, we slept over at Jaja's that night to make sure her henna didn't smudge. Heh.

The moment I woke up, I called Aera up to check on their plans and I was told that they would be meeting up at KChik's place at 10. It was 9 at that time and I was calculating in my head the amount of time I would need to go back, shower get ready etc. and I just knew that I wouldn't be able to make it.

Lucky for me though, Jaja's mummy opened her closet-full of lovely baju kurungs and thank God I'm the same size with Jannah (Jaja's sister) so, I borrowed a simple baju kurung modern, which happened to fit me like a glove. Sukaaaa :)

I didn't stay for long at Icik's place, and obviously, since I didn't have a camera, this post will be lacking in photos. But well, I did shamelessly steal some from Lynn's FB though (couldn't resist it cantik sangat) and here they are.

Okay, fine, saya mengambil berkat. Tak salah kan ;)

People who will make sure that your majlis is a happy one. We were the photographer's favourites because we were always ready to pose for photos.
(Okay, I like Jannah's baju tapi dah pulangkan .*Cry*. I want to go tempah with their tailor. Sekian)

Anyways, congrats Icik! Can't wait for December ;)

two is better than one.

Yesterday was one of those Sundays I didn't mind NOT going back to bed after Subuh. I was sprightly and excited about the event which we were attending later that day.

So, I took my shower, and put on the turquoise-not-so-turquoise dress I bought weeks ago just for the occasion. Everything was going well and my only problem that morning was deciding on which shoe to wear. Of course, I kind of regretted my choice later that day.

We arrived at the destination and Mummy (Mummy, Mamita and Mama are 3 different people, harap maklum) was already waiting in front on Felda Villa, directing early guests to use the main gate since the entrance to the Villa had yet been opened.

So, we parked the car and headed inside the bungalow to search for the (still) Bride-to-Be. Even though she was not wearing her wedding dress yet, she was positively glowing! I guess it is true what people say about Seri Pengantin. I've been to far too many weddings to know that I should believe how true it is. Berglowy-glowy cantik sangat tahu tak!

We stayed in the make-up room for the most part of the morning until K.Min sent the hantaran. And the groom's side was SO early! I'd have to give them a standing ovation for that, really. They were all donned in orange, while our side (chewwah, mengaku family sikit) wore shades of blue. It was really a beautiful morning.

After trying to keep the guests from the  groom's side entertained (while K.Min put final touches to the hantaran), the majlis finally started. We got front row seats, and I've got to say I'm proud I got a bird's eye view of  everything. Man, I was next to the the official photographer! He snapped, I snapped. So, I don't need to wait for the official photos to be uploaded for me to see them ;)

And then, came the akad nikah bit. As usual, the tok kadi gave a sermon of some sort about marriage and the responsibilities of both parties and then, Alhamdulillah, dengan sekali lafaz, our Jaja became Atong's wife. It was just an amazing feeling and I felt like crying. But since the bride was so composed, I thought, "Kenapa kau yang over nak nanges ni??? Mummy and Jaja pon tak nanges tau!".

The photography session ensued and I got a few to-die-for shots, so see for yourself!


After that, the guests got their food and we waited to give them their doorgifts, which are yummy chocolates with the bride and groom's names engraved on it. All day long, the bride was surrounded by people she loved, and who loved her more in return.

There was never a time I did not see her smiling and for that, I am truly grateful to Allah who made everything easy for her. And towards the end of the day, the rain came! Nadnad said that there will always be hujan rahmat on days like that and I guess it's true considering how hot the weather has been of late.


I am thankful because I know that Atong is kind and loves her very much. Please take care of our Jaja for us. If not. Hmmmm....jaga kau!

Congratulations my dear from your self-proclaimed siblings!


You deserve the best :) ♥

February 19, 2010

simplicity is the essence of elegance.

Or is it?

Or is it now a sign that you are short-changing yourself?

Either way, I do think that simplicity is a much forgotten concept in our lives. And I do think that people underrate simplicity, as the trend nowadays is to go over the top with just about everything. But then again, of course, that's totally personal. What may be OTT to me might just be the simplest version of simple to someone else. So be it.


Today, my colleagues and I went on a girlie (+one boy) adventure. We sped off toBangsar the moment we could get away from work for a round of mouth-watering Nirwana. I am high beyond words right now. Then, we ran off to BV to look at... jewellery.

Yes, with the double triple celebrations, jewellery stores have also decided to have sales of their own and some shops like Habib offers up to 50% off. Okay, so fine, maybe year end sales have better bargains, but, why do we work so hard again? What's that I hear? "TO SPEND?" Yes. Correct. Pandai anak murid cikgu.

One of my colleagues has been aiming to get herself this really nice necklace, but the Alamanda and BV branches have sold out. I'm trying to make sure she goes to The Curve because she really, really wants it. Another colleague of mine has moved from the normal diamond ring to the certified ones. *gulp* Saya belum mampu. And me? I'm just playing along because I kind of like visiting these shops to immerse myself with thoughts and dreams of a rocking rock rock. Hee hee.

As for the guy? We tricked him into thinking that we would be going some place else. Kesian dia terpaksa ikut. Hee hee. I don't think he'll be following us anywhere much after this.Though I did think that he kind of enjoyed us girls' company just now. Heh.

Well, enough of all this "immersment". I have a meeting to attend. Bai bai. 

February 18, 2010

compensation. compensation now begin.

I don't know about you but there are just times when you badly want some things, yet you are not getting those things for yourself. For e.g, you really, really fancy these pair of shoes, yet you hesitate to buy it and then, you don't buy it. And the next thing you know, you've got about 3 other pairs of shoes to compensate for that one shoe you decided not to buy.

It's just like what I am facing right now, but it's not shoes I am having trouble with. It's gadgets. Remember how badly I wanted the wide-angle lens converter? And how I wanted the battery pack, flash unit etc. etc.? Guess what? I haven't bought a single one of those things yet. Every intention of getting those things have been shot down due to... discouragement and lack in resources, I guess? I mean, I do have a little bit of money to spare, but then, next month's expenses will be many. I have to put alot of things on hold for the moment. Just until that "I have to pay for so many things" phase passes by.

So, to compensate for my inablity to buy the things I really, really want, I ended up buying  a pair of shoes I don't need. Complete with justification that I don't want to spoil my favourite wedges, so I have to get another pair of shoes so that I can alternate between the two since I equally like both.

I also bought some stuff that the staff in my office was selling this morning because... saja-saja (!!). I feel like buying a new MP4 because I have this belief that I will be more motivated to get on with my workouts and hikes (fine, I know I don't need it. I just like to be healthy, thanks).

And right now, I even feel like buying accessories. Yes, I know. Jewellery. Like bangles I don't need. Or scarves which I will end up not using. Or... well, you get it, I know.

It's just the way things work for me. When I really, really want something and no one gets it for me, or I can't be bothered to get it for myself, I end up buying so many other things which I definitely could do without. Not that I don't need them, though. Everyone needs shoes. That's for sure. Kan?

What I'm saying is that if you really, really have something which you want, just go and get it already? Think about the burnt hole in your pocket later.

Right now, I feel like treating myself to a round of Roma's or Chillis though I know that I wouldn't be finishing the meal just because.

I also need a camera bag because mine is broken. Yeah, that would be good right? At least it's better than not getting myself anything at all.

February 17, 2010

apa yang penting?


Oh, tidak. Apa yang penting adalah doa. Dan keyakinan dalam doa itu. Keyakinan bahawa jika kita tidak tahu tentang sesuatu, pasti ada yang lebih arif yang akan menunjukkan kita jalan yang benar. Setakat mana kamu percaya dengan Tuhan dan doa adalah personal, betul tu.

Tapi, saya percaya bahawa jika kamu Atheist sekali pun, there would be times when you wished you could turn to someone/something for you to mengadu nasib, etc. Hidup ini tak pernah lekang dari dugaan. As it should be.

Kenapa saya kata begitu? Kerana bagi saya, jika hidup ini dah tiada dugaan, maka Tuhan (Allah bagi saya) tak sayangkan saya lagi. Kerana dengan dugaan sajalah saya dapat pastikan that my feet are always planted firmly on the ground. Jika asyik gembira, pasti ada yang tak kena.

That is my personal opinion, by the way. Mungkin kamu seorang yang sangat amat lucky jika hidup kamu betul-betul tak diduga. Well then, good for you.

Apa pun, saya pasti ada beberapa jenis doa yang akan dimakbulkan. And mind you, this is based on personal experience.

Doa orang teraniaya.
  • I find that jika sesuatu yang rightfully hak kita diambil daripada kita, doa tersebut akan naik tanpa halangan. Be it a specific or a general one. Katakanlah boyfriend kita tipu kita, dan kita boleh agak, tapi kita tak boleh tuduh, then, you just say a doa, and the next thing you know, cermin kereta dia pecah atau dia sakit etc. I'm not saying that this is the best thing to do, tapi there are times when there really isn't anything else you can do apart from pray. Pernah berlaku. And mind you, I didn't have to lift a finger for the other party to get "cash payment" for the kesalahan he did to me.

Doa ibu bapa.
  • I always call my parents when I am stuck. I call them before exams, hence the 6/8 semesters' results. I call them when I don't feel too good about things. My mom especially because it's obvious that I am closer to her. There were times when I just didn't know what to do and all my mom told me to do was to doa. She is an avid believer in doa. Because all of the things which have happened to her came in as a result of doa. Even me. Complete with the lesung pipit and all. Yes. The power of a parent's (or parents') doa.

Doa orang berpuasa.
  • Is said to be one of those doa which goes right up. There are no veils between a fasting person with Allah. There are no barriers. If you have something which you are genuinely concerned about during Ramadan, and you find that so many things are out of your control, doa. Life will be made easy for you, if you believe.

Doa yang dihantar/dibawa ke Mekah.
  • I have been blessed to visit both Holy Cities. I have been blessed to witness my doa makbul. I have sent doa with relatives whom have been called to visit Mekah. I am now witnessing my doa makbul. Alhamdulillah. And to think that they were the simplest doa I could think of at the time.

Semuanya bermula dengan doa. Semua perkara yang baik akan menjadi milik kita jika kita terus berdoa dan terus yakin bahawa sekiranya sesuatu itu memang hak kita, ia akan datang. Kita perlu yakin bahawa sekiranya kita tidak pasti apakah yang terbaik untuk kita, Allah akan tunjukkan jalan itu.

Apa pun yang akan berlaku selepas ini adalah as a result of my doa. Dan saya akan redha kerana apa yang saya inginkan hanyalah perkara yang terbaik untuk saya.

I hope you want that too.

And yes, for the record, I do look like the least qualified person to preach about doa. But trust me, I don't need to wear my religion on my sleeve for me to be a believer in Allah. I may still do all the wrong things in the wrong way, tapi apa yang penting, hati pasti kena baik.

February 14, 2010

party of ten.

I just got back from OU with my sister. It's awfully quiet there and most shops are closed. It was nice but not so nice. You get what I mean? Now is supposedly the best time to shop because congestion is unheard of. But, there's really no point in no congestion if there are no shops to head to.

But anyways. We got most of the things we wanted to get. We gobbled on Onigiri and Tako Tao while we were walking because we were so hungry. Came back and ate more dinner. Tsk, jika keadaan begini berterusan, saya akan naik berat badan. Aiseh.

Anyways, do you cook well? I don't. I bake well though. And I know that baking is a tiny little part of cooking in general, but it's apparently not quite enough, right? I like things which have clear cut recipes to follow. Those which will turn out good so long as you religiously follow through with the instructions.

Which is why I don't cook well. It's always about playing by ear. Which irritates me because I want things to be exactly this and that way. But I am trying though. I am trying very hard cook proper dishes (yang berkuah that is).

Sometimes, I think our dishes (Malay) have too much oil. We deep fry everything. We tumis everything. Every time I wash the dishes, the amount of oil I need to scrape off the pans and plates is just too much.

So, for lunch today, I decided to give my parents and sister a little treat. Some sort of like a Japanese stint. Okay, so maybe only my mom and I really enjoyed it, but yeah, it was nice to try something different.


Haih. Tomorrow we will be hosting a party of ten. This is the second time we're having a (rather) large group over when we are a maidless society. The last time was for a Raya Do. Tak apa lah. Wish me luck! Sure can one ;)

February 13, 2010

anak emak.

Harini hari yang sungguh eventful. Ada baik, ada buruk. All part of life; something I have began to eventually accept. Harini tak bermula dengan baik kerana terpaksa jumpa one of my least favourite people in the world. Tapi, oleh sebab saya nekad untuk jadikan hari ini lebih baik dari hari-hari sebelumnya, saya tidak benarkan dia get to me, if you know what I mean. Saya tak akan benarkan sesiapa rosakkan hari saya; not even her.

Saya dapat message berduyun-duyun non-stop. Nak buang message, sayang. Tak buang, inbox penuh. Maka, buang juga la lepas dah selamat reply. Orang message up to the 11th hour. Sungguh terharu; like I said in my previous post. Terima kasih banyak-banyak kerana mengingati dan mendoakan saya.

Saya memang bukan jenis mengingatkan. Bagi saya, jika saya cukup penting, kamu kamu dan kamu akan doakan sesuatu untuk saya. Tak kira secara personal atau di FB atau di mana sahaja. Jika kamu dah keluar dengan saya sehari suntuk dan tak ingat, kemudian check FB dan baru message sekalipun, saya cukup gembira. It's the thought that counts, betul tu.

Tapi, jika dapat message dan phonecall daripada semua 527 orang "kawan" di FB sekalipun, tak sempurna hari itu jika emak sendiri tak wish. Iye. For the first time in my life, emak saya lupa birthday saya. Which is very unlike her kerana dia antara orang paling thoughtful yang saya pernah kenali. She will not let us get away not wishing anyone or not getting anyone at least a simple card for their birthday.

Tapi dalam kereta masa pergi dan balik kerja tadi pon, tak sepatah pon dia mention. Bila dah sampai rumah, bapa saya yang wish dulu. Dia reiterate message dia yang comel tengahari tadi. Dan emak saya dengan muka terkejut and genuinely bersalah was kissing me non-stop meminta maaf.

I couldn't help it. My tears started falling. I'm my mommy's girl. Regardless of how many times I feel like scolding her because she smothers me to the point of suffocation sometimes.

Hari ini would not have been complete without her wish. It felt so good to hug her and to let her kiss me all over my cheeks while we both cried and to repeat all over again until she was sure she was being forgiven. Like I said, she had never forgotten before. Jika mengikut keadaan biasa, surely, saya akan demam. Sebab terkejut sangat dia terlupa.

Saya memang anak emak. Dan hari ini dah complete sebab emak saya dah ingat birthday saya. I don't know what I'll do without her.

So, I hope I have many more years with her. That is my biggest birthday wish. Amin.

February 12, 2010

a quarter.

I was thinking earlier of how much FB affects our lives. I thought I knew how much, but apparently, it is a lot, lot more than I thought. 

There are many reasons why we log on to FB. Some people find pleasure in uploading photos after photos of themselves and their daily activities. Some people love to tweet on FB. Some people spam other people's walls with nonsensical posts. Some check on their partners. Some flirt with other people's partners ehemm (walaupun dah banyak kali dinyatakan bahawa saya sakit hati) oops. And some others (like myself) are onlookers who like to stay  on the outside looking in.

Considering the huge role that FB plays in our lives, it's really no wonder that most people can't function without it. For whatever reason it serves them. Because for people like me, one other huge role FB plays is to remind me of anniversaries, events and last but never least - birthdays. I normally can't really remember on my own.

And considering how terrible of a friend I have been of late (that I have been so engrosed with my own life), I'm really surprised that some people remembered even without the aid of FB. Thank you for remembering me. Thank you for all the sweet and thoughtful wishes and prayers for me. I received phonecalls and messages from friends whom I have not heard of in eons! I'm so, so touched that they remembered me today and wished me well, despite my incessant silence and disappearence.

I know now that no matter what happens, there will be at least 2 handfuls of people who will genuinely be happy for my happiness and well-being.

It's amazing to be 25! Alhamdulillah. I am very grateful that I have been given the opportunity to stay on this earth. To receive sweet revelations and to seek repentence. I am grateful for people around me who love me - simply because of who I am, and not for who I try to be. I'm thankful for people who don't hate me for who I am not.

It's an amazing feeling. 

(though I've got a feeling that Mama totally and completely forgot. she didn't mention anything AT ALL on the way to work today! which is sooo not her! she's really bogged down with work. sedih gila.)

Thank you to Abdul, for being the first to wish me. For sleeping past your bedtime last night just so you could sing me a "Happy Birthday" song, only to be greeted with a groggy girl from the other side of the line (yes, I slept at 930 p.m.).

 And thank you, thank you and you. All for having super sweet and kind thoughts for me. 

Okay, I feel like crying.

It's been a wonderful day! :') And I've had a wonderful life, and rejoicing!

p.s: Babah just messaged me. So comel!

February 11, 2010

show me your vajayjay

(sounds a tad crude when I put it that way, right?)

Truthfully, I did not understand what all the fuss is about. There are a group of people encouraging girls of all ages, shapes and sizes to join in the “Bare it All” (or something to that effect) Campaign, and I agreed with one of the girls interviewed about the part where it’s personal.

Yes, whether or not you decide to wear your undies (or not) is a matter of preference. If you have the skin to show, then why not? Right?

But now that I’ve read arguments from both sides of the coin, I’m more inclined to agree with the faction which pleads young girls to not join the campaign.

It’s not solely about us not wearing panties, if you think about it properly.

Because like I said earlier, it really is a matter of preference. If you’re used to having your nipples poking out of your top, so be it. If you really can’t be bothered about your butt crack, I don’t see why I should.

But for those who have never done such things (being not wearing bras and panties when going out), I think they shouldn’t start.

Because like I said, it’s not about us not wearing our undies per se. It is a lot more about the connotation of what such activity condones. Yes, you guessed it: Free Sex. Okay, so you might not be having free sex on V-Day just because you decide to leave your panties off. Anyone could be doing that and end up not doing anything apart from punching the buttons of the remote control at home.

But I’m thinking, why else would you want to leave your panties off if you’re going out? Is it so that you could tell your partner “Yang, I left my panties off because I love you so much”?

Guys are simple human beings. When you say such things, the lower brain starts to think. Surely the upper brain can no longer function knowing that whatever the case may be, the lower brain is the bigger man. May the best man win?

But whatever the case may be, I know that some people would argue that the Campaign is actually pointless. And when something is so clearly pointless, that means that it’s harmless?

Well, to me, if you already know it’s pointless, why do you promote such things to such great lengths unless you have a hidden agenda of your own, like condoning free sex between partners maybe? Not all silly things end up being fun, lest you forget.

Seriously, I think people should think properly before they act. Surely, we have all done all kinds of stupid things before. Let’s not add this to that list.

There is a lot more to a relationship than sex. And there are so few virgins now, that you have no idea how much a virgin is worth. 

We’re literally priceless.

work station.

Meeting after meeting. And there's another one which I need to attend ALONE today. Yeah, yeah. I tend to make a big deal out of having to go to meetings alone and it's annoying, I know. After all, if I were working "out there", I would already be a full-fledged lawyer. But still, that doesn't make me less scared. It still unnerves me, thinking about the answers they want, which I obviously don't have.

Everyone is much too busy nowadays. At the rate that everyone is going, we're all going to die young.

I noticed that most of my colleagues who talk about leaving don't have plans to continue in the legal profession when they finally do. And that includes yours truly (though I have talked about leaving numerous times and have yet done it after almost 2 years) though I don't really know when I'm leaving. 

All I know is the passion to carry on in this profession is waning. And the amount of people who actually want to continue toiling and struggling to make the cut is dwindling down to nothing.

It's almost always about the money nowadays, isn't it? Is there such a thing as justice anymore? Is there such thing as passion for the legal profession.

We're all so driven but we're all going towards some other direction.

Nothing appeals to us anymore, I am wondering what it is that would finally make us happy.

Don't blame me if I prefer


Than this.

February 10, 2010


Gosh, I just woke up. Yes, Arrived at the office so early that I needed to take a nap. Terkejut bangun-bangun and saw that it was 5 past 8. Gosok mata sikit. Get daily coffee (yes, will blog about this sometime) and here I am. Tak senonoh. Bukan reti nak buat kerja. Reti. Give me 4 minutes. I'll be off in a jiffy.

Today, I have to do something to do with someone. I don't know why I'm always stuck doing things with this someone like all the time. People say it's "jodoh panjang". I think it's bad luck. Pfftt. And no, it is not my boss, but someone else whom I have stopped bothering camouflaging my dislke, hatred, whatever you might want to call it.

The office is happy today. I feel a happy buzz. There's a double birthday celebration. And I love February babies. And I need to go to work. As promised.

February 08, 2010

on top of the world!

(well, sort of anyways)

On Saturday night, I had one more page to work on. JUST.ONE.MORE. But I was dragging my butt because my creative juices were running low! Aiseh. But, I managed to get it done, though I know that it could have been better if I had more time and creativity. Obviously, that night, I slept pretty late, tossing and turning, thinking whether or not I had left anything (or anyone) out. Imagine how exhausting not being able to sleep can be!

Lucky for me, my mom woke me up at 8.00 the next morning, or else I wouldn't have been ready by the time the girls came over to pick me up.

We went in 2 cars because... because Mamita said she needed to... ehemm. Okay, shall not disclose this part. We shall not spoil a good day. Hehhehe.

Anyways, when we arrived at KLCC, Bride-to-Be and Nadnad were not there yet. We were wondering where Batss was but was told later that she would be running late. Aaaa. Panic. Panic. Because Batss had to pass something to Nadnad and we needed it badly.

So, it was only the 5 of us at first. Off to Aquaria we went. B-2-B didn't know any of this of course, but Aquaria isn't easy to miss. Plus, when Mamita asked for our MyKads, it was obvious where we were heading to. Come to think of it, we should've blindfolded you to give extra effect you know. Hmmm. Much too late for that now. Hehe.


Anyways, Aquaria is very pretty but we couldn't take that many photos due to "no-flash" policy. I was sooo frustrated because even Theodore didn't manage to make me proud. But we did have fun, though. I didn't know that Piranhas are cute. Seriously, with the round-shape mouth and everything, them being super carnivores would've been my last suspicion. We missed the Piranha feeding session but made it in time for the other feeding session at the huge tank. Seriously, macam budak-budak sekolah okay, sitting crossed-legged on the floor, waiting and waiting for the divers to feed the fish (while munching and munching on pretzels nyum). It was somewhat amazing (to me at least)!

Jaja got soo annoyed with Bob the grouper because he was such a big fat show-off. Tapi tak baik marah dengan ikan okay. Dia bukan pandai pon. Hehehe. But he was a bit too much a show-off, I must admit. Aku goreng baru tau. Dapat makan masa Chinese New Year. Hheheheheh.

Next, we headed for a fish spa therapy at Aquazone. That was my first time because I missed the last Bachelorette. Come to think of it, this is the first time I ever attended a Bachelorette. Hehe. I'm not particularly ticklish, but these fish can really give you shivers. Geliiii just thinking of it! Haha.

I managed to finally put my leg in and Mamita succeeded as well this time around.

And I present to you. Nadnad the cheater, who, even after so much persuasion, did not tahan the geli. Rugi, rugi ;)

After Aquaria, Nadnad had to leave "to pick hubby up at the airport" and Batss joined us for our next activity. The lift was super congested at that time and we had to rush, so we took loads of escalators (even I didn't know which way we had to go though I knew our next destination). Mamita took the lead. We were heading towards Rasa, and I know that Jaja thought we were going to have lunch there. Kesian. Heheheh. But just before we reached Rasa, we turned right into The Nail Parlour! Aaahahahahah. She admitted that she was tricked into thinking that we were going to eat. TETTT. Salah. So salah.

I'm glad that Jaja liked the whole session since she was thinking of doing it herself this weekend. Bagus, we went 2 steps ahead of you :)

During the mani-padi session, there were many times when our secret was almost given away. I had to message the girls (who were getting their manicure done) outside that they were too loud! Too loud! Hahah. After the mani-padi session was the most difficult part, actually. I was getting messages from the "other side" telling us to stall. Buy time. Kill time. Do whatever.

So, we sat at Rasa eating Famous Amos (Adlin nasib kamu bawak tahu tak!) and laughing and gossipping over drinks. By that time, we were apologising profusely to Jaja, telling her that we were running low on funds, plus most of us couldn't join, so let's make it simple etc.. I know Jaja wouldn't have minded but hey, of course we wanted something more for her, kan? We all get married only once you know :)

Lucky for us Jaja wanted to go and have a look at some shoes she saw, so we happily obliged. After all, we were supposed to kill time. I also found a very super sexy pair of heels but there was something wrong with it, so duit saya juga selamat Ja :). By that time, we were getting restless and hungry. I told them I wanted to go home.

When we got in the car, I said, "Hey, let's go to Delicious" And you know what Jaja said, "Korang ni predictable, dah agak dah!" Predictable??? No doubt that Delicious is our favourite hangout but this time, we had something else cooked up in our heads alright. I was even more determined to carry out our earlier plan to blindfold her. Sorry, ma. Pinjam scarf sekejap. Hehehe. So, I told Jaja that to get "there", she must be blindfolded. No questions. Just shut your eyes. Dia mengikut kata. Verrry goooood :)

We got lost. It was a case of Hanisa vs. Garmin. Garmin said straight, I said, let's go right, jum. So, we ended up going in circles. We were looking for a small, winding road going uphill. We almost gave the place away when we said small winding road so many times. But we were panicking! We couldn't help it.

At last! We reached "there". We were so happy to finally reach our destination. "The other side" told us that they were just about ready when we collected our tickets. So, we brought Jaja up the lift. The doorman got the hint that he was not supposed to say a word about where we were. Not even a "Welcome" message! I'm sooo glad that he played along. Heee.


Then, we looked for our booked table. By this time, it was a bit difficult not to disclose who was at "the other side" but we didn't care anymore. After a whole load of hush hush here and there... finally, we took off her blindfold turned her towards the splendid view at that time (KLCC) and said, "Surprise!" Ans she cried! Hahaha. Kitaorang dah jadi sebak pulak because she really didn't expect it! We were on the Revolving Restaurant!

So, who said we're predictable?

I hope you had fun dear! We love you, you know we do ;)

runaway bride.

We started descending Broga at 10 plus a.m. and we were trying really, really hard to get back home by at least 11 something. To no avail. The traffic everywhere just sucks big time. When we arrived home, my mom was about to cook something, so I thought since I've been out of the house from early morning, the only logical thing to do was to help her, so I did.

The next thing I know... it was already 1.15 p.m. and I hadn't bathed yet! And my hair badly needed a wash (nampak tak serabut serabai kat gambar bawah tu!). And I knew that that would take me 15 minutes, the very least. Haish! Panic, panic, panic because I promised Lynn that I would be there at around 2. Tsk. Tsk.

So, I bathed at supersonic speed and got in the car. Lucky I had a chauffeur, so I got the chance to dry my hair (using the aircond) while we both got lost looking for the Dewan Komuniti.

I was close to giving up actually, when it was apparent that we were lost. But suddenly, we saw the signboard with the pasangan pengantin's names on it and we were happy alright (lapar sangat hey!).

And I've got to say, for a wedding which was planned in 2 weeks, Pushie managed to make everything just splendid! The food was good, the dais was sweet and simple and everyone was happy. And being her, she was soooo relaxed, sampai tinggalkan husband di pelamin to be photographed alone. She sat with us while regaling stories of how she made everything happen in just 2 weeks. Salute tabik spring darab 100 okay!

We were the last Fighterzs to leave (I think). Congratulations Pushie and good luck in Canberra! May you live a happy and blissful married life!

p.s.: Lynn, I am not sure whether or not I replied your message because I was at The Curve that evening masa nak reply, tapi tak sure hantar or not? Will see you tomorrow okay! Tak sabarrrrr! :) ♥

February 07, 2010

sabar jap k (alright, updated)

updates in just a tiny little bit of time. excited! :)
okay, back with an update! and not in random order. diharap bersabar :)


On Saturdays, I am normally just plain lazy. After all, that's the only time I get to sleep in a little more. And spend time with parents/myself/boyfriend/friends etc. a little more. Even if it means just staying in and doing nothing much.

But this weekend, I was ever willing to wake up much, much earlier than normal because... I finally get to go to Broga Hills! Yeap, you might have or might not have heard of it before, but I've heard of it many, many times before yesterday and have always dreamed of the day when I would finally set foot on it. I've always heard Broga Hills to be a photographer's haven and I was curious to find out. But having strict parents makes it difficult to get out of the house with people they don't trust and what more alone and what more so early in the morning.

Abdul was kind enough to arrange for Amed and Mamin to pick me up on Saturday morning though and off we went to Broga Hills. It was 6.30 a.m. when we pushed off. Yes, 6.30 a.m. on a Saturday morning, off to a place where I did not know what to expect.

I never regretted it! Because that place is absolutely amazing! Though we were supposed to arrive on one of the landings by sunrise (which we obviously didn't), it was still quite cool as it was early and even the gusty wind didn't dampen our spirits to keep on hiking.

In fact, I think the wind made us a little bit crazy as we had the time of our lives taking "flying" photos each time the wind blew in our faces! It was just an amazing hike. The trail up wasn't that challenging because there are quite well-carved tracks on them. In fact, at some spots, there were ropes on the trail just to help us get up from one landing to another. Just a few hiccups at several spots and that's all.

But the climb down, I tell you, is quite a challenge. When we were going down, the sun was up and the land was starting to dry up. And that made the land slippery, which in turn made some of the steep terrains very difficult to descend. We managed nicely though and I'm proud to say that Abdul and I were first to reach ground level again! When we were hiking up, I was third to reach one of the first landings so yeay for me as well! 

It's one of these unseen gems of our country that people don't really know of though most of the people I know have been on it at least once. I would definitely repeat this again if I get the chance to! We took quite a number of good photos while we were up the hill and it was a really memorable experience for me. For a while, I felt like a tourist in my own country. Which is good actually, because that means there are many, many other places in Malaysia which I have not visited.

I'm also amazed at the amount of stamina left in me considering the fact that I've been getting practically zilch exercise of late. It's good to know that Abdul and I are still quite fit. Alhamdulillah.

I'm hoping to go again soon. You should try too :)!

 yes, calming like this.

si budak sayang, partner in crime.

i look like i'm falling hahah

nice view from above. and this was only at the beginning.

iye. di atas sana pon ada sedikit vain.

Polaroids. instant. but eternal. insyaAllah.

I want to go again! Let's go again!

February 06, 2010

turquoise or not. here i come.

Yes, I have been on leave for 2 days now, which explains the bloglence (blog silence). Yeah, I know, funny how I only blog when I'm in the office and alot of people would call that "curi tulang". In my defence though, I submit all my work on time and stay back when required. All in all, I earn the pay I draw. So, shooh with all those accusations.

How's everyone been? I've been having the time of my life at home, you see. It's amazing what a few more hours of sleep can do to us. It's amazing how we can wake up at 9 a.m. and not feel instant panic but bliss. It's nice to know that you can bathe at whatever time you please and can wear whatever t-shirt, top or jeans that's been hidden at the back of your closet because you've been wearing work clothes and not much else.

And the best part is, I finally get to wear sunglasses because I'm finally out of the house when the sun is up, and come back when it's still up. How silly is that? Tapi betul, tak rasa ke membazir beli specs tapi tak boleh pakai sebab mana ada matahari silau pon masa pergi and balik kerja. Okay.... enough merapu.

I'm on leave for many reasons. One. I just need a break. Two. I need to go and get something turquoise. If I were at work, I would have absolutely no time for it. Next weekend I will be busy. Plus Adik will be home. She would love to go baju hunting with me, but I'd rather do something else with her. So, yes, turquoise hunting it is for me. Three. I love watching Channel 703 and 707. I get to sit all day long punching the remote control. Four. I love it when I am able to cook something decent for dinner for the parents. I have trouble with salt. Like all the time. Either too much or too little. But my dad has approved of my cooking 2 days in a row now, so, I'm very relieved. Aaaaaa :). Five. My leave is soooo banyak and I know that it will burn soon. So, I decided, take off while I can ey.

Well, did I find a decent turquoise baju? Well... let me ask you a question, ladies and gents. Do you even know what turquoise looks like? I think I do. Well, I thought I did. I Googled before leaving the house and safely locked the colour in my memory. I saw everything in turquoise. Everything apart from something in my size that is (trust me, I even saw pillow cases in that colour. shoes in that colour. bags in that colour. things i obviously don't need). Semua kecuali sepasang baju kurung dalam saiz saya.

Who said being small is nice? Cuba cakap mana ada jual banyak saiz XS, S atau 34 dan 36? I went to this shop and saw something on the mannequin which I fancied, and the smallest size was 42??? I look like I'm borrowing clothes in a 38. Imagine what kind of gunny sack I will look like in 42. Haish.

But determined not to come home empty-handed, I got something at one of these shops which sells ready-made apparel. The salesgirls were really helpful, but I gotta say, even they don't know what turquoise is. So, I defined my own turquoise and came back with...


Turquoise or not. Here I come. It's something different than what I usually wear, so I can't wait to get reviews of how I look when I wear it on the 21st. Constructive criticism highly appreciated.

Pasal apa orang lain kawin, kau yang excited Kak? Kawan baik kita. Ikut suka la. Ye tak?

Okay, I need to go to bed. I'm going off early tomorrow morning :). Will blog about it later (hopefully).

February 03, 2010

hearts and kisses.

If everyday was like yesterday, I swear my heart would burst. We tend to have lovesick moments at weird times (and dates). I remember we didn't feel lovesick at all on our 2nd year anniversary although we were together at that time. And I admit it was dissappointing.

But I felt lovesick at another random time with absolutely no reason, well... just because.

But yesterday, we turned 58 ♥ (I managed to get the month right after not quite getting it right for about 3 months now. either terlebih atau terkurang. and yes, we celebrate monthly because we are gedik like that please and thank you). We shared a short hour lunching together. We treated each other to the things we love. We did silly things like him sending me to my car, walaupun my car was sooo near to his. Saja nak spend time lebih sikit.

We were just lovesick, faham tak? I even felt like dancing in the car on the way back home last night after talking to him on the phone, because berbunga-bunga sampai rasa macam aaaa, berbunga-bunga lah. And it didn't stop there, balik rumah pun nak berbunga-bunga lagi please. Seriously, he makes me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe, shine like gold, buzz like a bee, just the thought of him makes me go wild. And yes, he makes me smile.

The best thing is that... he depicted my feelings (about something) exactly yesterday, although we are quite a few kilometres apart (cheewwwah, dulu hundreds of miles apart. apa la sangat 10 kilometre sekarang kan). Pagi-pagi dah kasi orang butterflies okay. And that was when I felt like my heart would burst. Terbawak-bawak sampai tidur. Haih...Pengsan.

Okay, pergi muntah sekarang please ;)

I'm not a princess. This ain't a fairytale. But if I could still feel like this after 5 years, we must be doing something right. :') Amin.

February 02, 2010

regrets? i have a few.

Long post alert. Needed a medium to let go and I would not be offended if you did not read through. Thank you for dropping by.

I always wonder if anyone has ever lived without regret. I suspect that a lot of people will answer “of course, I have no regrets” and that’s entirely up to you, but I still think that in one’s life, one would have at least one thing they did that they wish they didn’t or vice versa. Don’t be in denial. That counts as regret.

I have regrets. Only they aren’t very recent. But even if they aren’t recent, it doesn’t mean that the regret has receded. Someone will always find a way to wiggle the regret out of you, or worst still, you’ll find yourself talking about that regret with someone for no reason. The out of the blue kind of occasion.

Mine happened last weekend. When I was having a heart-to-heart with little sister. The more she grows, the more like me she is becoming. It scares me because myself at 16 was nothing much to be desired. I obviously want her to have better things than me, so thank God she has better brains.

What were you doing at 16? I can’t quite recall. Or more like, I don’t want to recall. My last 2 years in college is nothing I want to remember.

1. I wish that people didn’t despise me for getting selected for the Student Exchange Programme to go to Japan. Because I know that a lot of people thought that I was unfairly given that chance. Trust me, it was a fair competition. I wrote an essay just like each and every one of you. In fact, when I submitted it, it was the shortest, so I was told. Like ¾ page kind of short. I honestly didn’t think that I would get through that stage even, but I was called for the interview when the most weren’t. The interview was conducted by people whom have never met me and I was asked, “Why do you want to go to Japan?” I told them, “Because I don’t know how the Japanese live. I don’t know how they sleep, eat and bathe. And I want to know about all that.” So they asked me, “So you want to go to Japan just to see how the Japanese sleep?”… To which I answered, “Well, yes, but I would also like to share with the Japanese about Malaysia. It is after all a Student Exchange Programme”. The next thing I know, I was given a return ticket and free one month stay in Japan as an exchange student.

2. In Japan, I wasn’t the inquisitive person I am now. I had internet, but didn’t Google anything beforehand. I just read the manuals about dos and don’ts of Japanese Culture and that was just it. I took many photos but failed to remember the significance of it. I can’t even remember the places I visited, or the food I ate. I was so afraid to ask more than I should and should really have participated more in activities while I was there. And though there were no blogs then, I have always been a journal writer. Only then, I neglected to jot down anything of significance because I was just so… stupid? I should have also studied more (Malaysian Subjects) too, while I was there because it obviously took a toll on my already declining studies.

3. When I got back, I wish the school interview panel listened to me when I was about to be “crowned” with Assistant Head Girl post. I told them that I realise the potential they saw in me, but I just can’t do the job. I can still visualize my shock when my name was being called. I can still remember how small and out of place I felt standing on that stage. After all, with me were 2 other candidates with the best qualities anyone could ever wish for. And though the title and responsibilities given to me were magnanimous, I swear I have never felt smaller in my whole lifetime. That time, I just wished that the earth beneath me opened up so that I would disappear. I knew that people didn’t like me holding that post because they had someone else in mind, yet they had no reasons to hate me. But they didn’t like me either. Get it? That title sure does have a nice ring to it now, like 10 years after, but then, it was a nightmare. Seriously. (But note that I never regretted the friendship bond between myself, Izza and Shebob)

4. I wish I weren’t so lazy during my final year. I wish I had worked on my homework during the holidays, but I didn’t. I left them because I was just uninterested in the life ahead of me.

5. And many people would not believe me if I said that back then I was really, really, stupid, but seriously. I was really stupid. Academically, I was just failing and falling, and not doing much about it. I was afraid to admit that I hated Physics and Bio and didn’t know head and tail about it, and yet, what did I do? I went through everyday like a liar. I knew that I should have dealt with it like I dealt with Add Math. I knew it then, but I just didn’t do it.

6. I wish I wasn’t so emotional and immature about things during the final year in school. But yes, that’s exactly who I was. I wasn’t sure where I was going. I was grappling in the dark, trying to understand who I was, trying to gain a footing in something. I wasn’t sure why people hated me for doing my job. I didn’t know which activities were best for me. I stopped going out for sports the result of which I grew to a whopping 56 kilo. I wish my heart didn’t sink each time I went back to school. But it did. And I died with each sinking. And my love for College declined with that dying. What a shame.

7. I wish people didn’t leave me out of things just because I was a prefect and a headgirl. I wish I didn’t lose my bestfriend of many years because of all of this. I wish I didn’t write that letter that changed us. I wish I could have just held my tongue a bit. But, as always.

8. I wish that I was happier during my Grad Night, but I wasn’t. I was just going through the motions. I was just floating and going through the night. I cannot remember anything of significance; not even my table mates. I can’t remember what other people wore or the people who were there. I wasn’t even excited receiving my Sijil. I had dwindled down to an emotional wreck with nothing to look forward to.

I wish I spent my last years in college enjoying myself, and the people around me. But I didn’t. It even took me a while to rejoin other people. It took me a while to realise that I can now stop being the person people expected me to be, because I am, after all, better off being the person I really, really am.

I’m thankful that a bunch of you have taken the trouble to include me into all your activities nowadays. It honestly feels good to finally belong. Thank you for loving me as who I am.

I can now slowly let my regret go.


I'm normally picky about the bihun I eat. Especially when it's one that is not from home. But this morning, I made an exception and headed for the cafe downstairs to get me some grub. I'm hungry. Too hungry. Like really.

In fact, I slept hungry. I was on FB before I slept; "chatting" with K.Juju, contemplating about whether or not I should head downstairs to the kitchen to get the yummy stew my mom cooked last night. And then, my laptop battery went dead. I was hungry plus sleepy and obviously wayyy too lazy to even crawl to get the adapter. So, I made an attempt to sleep and slept hungry. Okay, tak perlu tahu pon, tapi dah tertulis. Heh.

So, anyways, I anticipate today to be a long(er) day than usual. I don't know why. But that's just the way I feel.

It's 58 today ♥

Boring right, lately langsung takda pictas. Tsk. Theodore, I am sorry.

February 01, 2010


Funny how a sunny day can be marred with such bleak moods. Today was emotional despite the splendid sunshine. Funny. Ironic. But true.

So, we said our goodbyes. Indefinitely. Because we just don't know now, do we? Who really, actually knows, pray tell me? And if you don't really know what I'm talking about, probably you could comb through my posts and pick on the hints I have dropped. And I know that I will be crying for quite a while, but... I know that I'll be better. In time, I will.

But it was also good to go down memory lane today. It was good that someone was kind enough to "drag" me to Shah Alam for a good meal at Pak Li; the place I frequented as a student. It was good to sit out in the sun, sharing a plate of Fried Kuey Teow. It was good to fight over whose drink was better. It was good to have a good conversation because we are such good friends above it all.

It was a good ending to a bleak day.

I do need to sleep, though. Just to keep my tears away.

Tomorrow is a long day. This week is equally long. But I can't wait to turn 25. Make me happy ;)