June 30, 2009

fencing lessons.

asking becomes a big bane to alot of us in this world. some reasons are latent, while some others, quite covert. when we don't know something, we ask. when someone asks, give them an answer. it really is simple.

what doesn't make it simple is the answers given don't help, and it's obvious that there never was any intention to help. at all.

because to them, the only way one should learn is by getting it wrong before getting it right because that's what they had to go through.

whereas, it would be so much easier to educate that person with the right information, so that they don't have to go on a merry-go-round ride before finding the light at the end of the tunnel.

and because of this, there are not many (good) teachers in this world because they are too content on making lives of other people miserable.

somehow, that's why.

June 29, 2009


Sometimes, I wish I could go beyond just jeans, blouses, cardigans, tshirts, pumps, wedges and Skechers.

Honest. It’s like I have zilch sense of fashion and I’d really like to try out some new things for a change.

I find people who dare to flaunt the latest trends amazing. I love visiting fashion blogs to see what’s hot and what’s not. Sometimes, their sense of style is a tad too quirky for my liking, but as long as they feel comfortable and don’t do it at someone else’s expense, I’m cool with it.

After all, out of all people, I should be the last to comment on somebody else’s sense of style. I have zilch, remember?

But truth to be told, I know a thing or two about dressing comfortably. Sometimes, it may be a tad too simplistic for the avid fashion lovers but it’s not such a bad thing to me, considering the fact that it’s appropriate for that particular occasion.

One of the best examples I can give is when we are going to the pasar malam, atau nama glamer dia, “night market”.

The night market will see me wearing a pair of jeans or khakis or seluar lembik malas with a simple, plain top of pastel colours or stripy polo tees with colours which do not make Paris Hilton want to die, a pair of slippers, pumps or Skechers, worn according to mood and turn. Even if I’ve just returned from somewhere where I had to dress up a little bit, I would normally make my way back home to get a change of clothes or I don’t go to the night market at all.

To me, it’s just logical that people wear the things I just mentioned above because for that particular occasion, that is the most appropriate and obviously the most comfortable as well.

The night market really is a place where smoke and body odour try to outdo each other plus the crowd literally is like sardines jam packed in a can. All effort of dressing up would go down in vain. Plus, the only potential suitors there probably come from Nepal, Bangladesh and Indonesia.
(not that they are so bad, but you get where I’m going to, no?)

Point is, there is of course freedom of expression in our country and you can wear whatever (appropriate) to express your fashion sense or to make a statement. Cuma, I think that people really, really, really need to consider the condition and situation beforehand before they decide to put on a pair of bright red skin-fitting patent leggings and 4 inch heels to head to the pasar malam.

After all, our main purpose is probably to get a small packet of air soya and keropok lekor sahaja.

(so, when people look your way and gape, don’t be riled because you brought the attention onto yourself.)

This was not meant to hurt anyone; it’s just a Sunday observation. Unless of course you’re ready to be stalked by some stranger who has taken a liking on your extravagant dressing, please dress appropriately.

to abdul...

all i want is for you to love me for the entirety of my lifetime and yours combined...

please don't forget me :)

i ♥ you

June 28, 2009

something on innovations.

According to MacMillan Dictionary, innovation means:

  • A new idea, method, piece of equipment etc;
  • The invention or use of new ideas, methods, equipment etc.

I applaud people for their courage in inventing something new, especially if there is absolutely no guarantee that the next product they launch would be better or equally good as their existing products.

If their products manage to penetrate the market (and capture hearts of the consumers), that definitely is something I would gape at in awe and respect.

Because everyone knows that coming up with an idea is a challenge in itself, what more to promote and market the product to the masses.

In the case of the food industry, I find that most fast food chains have managed to do a good if not great job in ensuring that their franchise suits the wants, needs and taste buds of the people at large.

For example, look at McDonalds. With the existence of other brands such as Wendy’s, Carl‘s Junior, Burger King and A &W etc., competition can’t be anything but tough. McDonalds has to make sure that they are always inventing or improvising their menu so that people keep on coming back to them even if they decide to raise the price by a bit.

Put it simply, keeping things interesting and fresh are vital in ensuring the survival of their business.

So, they began with creating a more cosy and relaxing albeit more posh look to tag to the McDonalds brand. It became a place where people didn’t mind taking pictures anymore because the interior is something to shout out about. And that’s just one of the many things they’ve done.

Then, they had to make sure that their meal packages are more attractive and more affordable to the masses as compared to the other fast food outlets. With the economic crunch and whatnot, it’s important that the masses feel like they are helping to ease the burden of the people. And so, they came up with the RM 5.95 and RM 7.95 meal packages, which are swarmed by tonnes of people (including yours truly) during lunch and dinner times.

The point is, I applaud them for their creativity and bravery in trying out new things. But also, that’s not really the point of this post.

My point, really, is that some companies need to reinvent or be innovative with their existing business plans because they just have to, as there really is no other choice to it due to the tough business competitions.

But some companies are better left untouched, and that’s where KFC comes into the picture.

You all know that most fast food chains can’t beat what KFC serves. No one really can. Not even Popeye’s. I mean, just look at the colour of the chicken and you’ll know which tastes better. To me, KFC is a league of its own.

At first, it was quite exciting when KFC finally came out with variations of the Hot N Spicy chicken; like the Thai and Curry and whatnots. But after a while, the original Hot N Spicy really is the best no matter what. Nothing can beat it, really.

And each time they decide to launch a new type of Hot N Spicy, they do not provide an option to people to still order the existing Hot N Spicy.

This is when sales go down and people stop going back there because what they get is not what they expected.

And when this happens, they’ll have to advertise the original Hot N Spicy’s comeback since customers have stopped coming.

I wouldn’t mind if this is their first or second tries, but this has happened too many times already. I think someone ought to tell them that it doesn’t really matter if they don’t invent or innovate something other than their existing Hot N Spicy chicken as it tastes good enough already. In fact, the existing one tastes great.

Their best innovation was perhaps cheesy wedges and I’d like that to stay, please.

cons and prons, pantiton.

Last night was one crazy fun night as I had the girls over at my place. We were talking and laughing and camwhoring and gossiping like nobody’s business. It was so much fun; I wish I could keep the girls here in my small house all the time.

It has been months since I last saw Becks, since she was in Costa Rica and couldn’t join our family gatherings. Lucky that she came back just in time for our infamous biskut cornflakes coklat. Heee.

Too bad Fah couldn’t make it though, since Balong was too lazy to drive! Grrrrr...

It was sort of a surprise to all of us last night that we all faced more or less the same problems. In fact, the problems I had when I was 14 still persist and are the same problems bugging 14 year-olds now. The things that have changed are probably the degree, seriousness and subject matter of contention.

Other than that, of course our approaches and level of naik darah differ tremendously from one generation to another.

Oh, well...

We must get together soon, loverlies, to celebrate Becks coming home and of course, Fah’s upcoming birthday.

Til the next time, I love you Pantitons ;p
(okay, that was a private joke, other people wouldn’t understand. sorry naik lorry)

more pictas *here*

June 26, 2009

some depth.

Last year, a few days from now marked the first day I reported for duty. And now, we’re all moving to a new building, hopefully as a mark of new beginnings. It has been a bumpy ride, yes indeed. And I’m sure that it will be a bumpier ride onwards. But I will hang on and just let nature take its course. What doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger, yes?

Well, anyway, we all became RM 2,000 richer last night, so we decided to celebrate a bit. Had dinner at Sushi King with my colleagues and desert afterwards at Johnny’s.

K.Ati and I discussed the common blogs we read; of people who looked like they were living a life of leisure. And though initially I always felt a tinge of jealousy with the lifestyles they led, last night got me thinking as to whether there was anything more to their lives other than the things they tell us.

It got me thinking of how subjective satisfaction is; that we all find joy in different pleasures, and that fulfillment comes in different forms. It got me thinking really hard. Like would I like private practice more than Service? Like would I like to be a stay at home mom if my husband were rich enough to fund us with his pay alone? Like whether I would like to pursue my photography, baking and business interests rather than practicing law.

And of course, there are other possibilities which I have yet ventured (or even thought of), which just makes me think: what would be the ultimate thing that would make me happy?

Then, it brought me back to *this*. I believe that part of the reason why I am scared to dream is because I am scared of not being able to fulfill them? Does that even make sense?

Well, anyways, back to the common blogs we read. Surely, there must be more to life than the things they tell us. Because surely, we are never allowed to read people like a book when we read their entries, and what more judge them.

But sometimes, we just can’t help but wonder if there is any depth in them at all…

Because thinking of people makes me think of myself as well, and the posts I write… have I passed of as a superficial person, with so little depth I should not be taken seriously? Or have I been so serious?

Now you be the judge.

welcome to the club...

... to my special girl, LynnHelina. Happy birthday and Allah bless you always. You have touched the lives of many and surely, you deserve the best. surely. especially that you have withstood so much... may the best things in life be yours InsyaAllah...

June 25, 2009

a little breather.


Finally, I can take a deep breath. I have been dead busy since Monday and had to refrain from using the internet. Plus, I didn’t have much to say after Monday. Maybe a miracle will come and make my 4 years of my long, hard wait worthwhile, and perhaps, it will be a better deal than we expected.

Okay, enough of that.

As you all probably know, there has been a rise of 400% in the cases of selsema babi in our country this week alone. It’s all over the newspapers; it’s broadcasted daily, and basically has become the talk of the town. More often than not, we are either too ignorant to want to know or we are too scared to face the truth.

I fall under the latter category.

But when your own sister is quarantined in school and your brother is stuck in Australia (thankfully, not in Melbourne), you have no other choice but to look at fear in the eye and hope that everything goes well for all of us.

I can’t see them both right now. I’m not allowed to. We are scheduled to leave for Melbourne end of this year and later make a trip to Adelaide, but with the selsema babi being a pandemic and all; it all seems like a long shot.

How sad. How very sad indeed…

June 22, 2009


i have waited 4 years for today.


doa kuat-kuat. amiin.

updates later. hopefully i will be jumping like a monkey and smiling like a chimpanzee.

late update

i didn't notice that i have been holding my breath for this long. until i broke down with sudden silly convulsions. until my chest hurt.

is it okay for me to have sudden silly convulsions because i can no longer tell my heart to be still?

because i didn't know that i was hoping this much... until now.

June 21, 2009

procrastination, my friend.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never really been a fan of studying or working from/at home. I’ve always regarded home as a place to rest; the place which marks the segregation between your life at work and your life. It’s not something I’m entirely proud of, I must say, but I also know that it’s quite healthy. It’s as if my brains are trained to demarcate the line; when to remain active and when to just play “dumb”.

Mostly, it’s psychological. But I still don’t fancy the thought of going through files at home.

If you’ve been a constant reader, you would have noticed how frustrated I was (or perhaps still a little bit am) with my job. The pay is good and predictable, but the path to getting some small recognition for your strengths is alot to ask for. It really is.

Thus, with all the free time I initially had in my hands, my mind has been accustomed to being idle. It has gotten used to the easy routines. Now, having changed into a more exciting albeit busier unit, my brains are being wrecked and put to its real test.

I either sync or swim with the flow.

I know I’m not the only one facing this.

As much as I understand how idleness affects the brain, it’s not something I tolerate, where I know it can be helped.

Which is why when people don’t make (even feeble) attempts, I get angry. Though I’ve never had problems being a teamplayer before, I see now that the cons way outweigh the benefits of sharing a piece of work with others. I’d rather get bombarded on my own rather than taking the blame for something someone else did half-heartedly.

The mentality here is that someone will eventually pick the missing pieces up for you and complete/ repair the mess you have made out of the puzzle. It’s frustrating how much idleness has been able to penetrate into the minds of people, so much so that even the better ones are affected.

And with such mentality, procrastination becomes everybody’s best friend, as if it’s an accepted practice, even if I think it’s intolerable.

It is intolerable, as much as I understand. Something needs to be done, I just don’t know what, just yet.

seekor anak musang.

I just got back from lunch with my Kesayangans. It has been ages since we all got together, and it’s been an even longer time since we all met Batul. Sigh.

It’s great when you have friends like this you know. Friends whom you can simply slip into conversation with so easily, you can’t believe you haven’t met for eons.

There was alot of catching up to do and we went round the table to tell our stories. Everyone was trying to get their story in at the same time (to be expected when you’re out with a bunch of legally qualified people. read: we LOVE to talk, surprise, surprise! tell me something new. haha) so you can imagine the havoc.

Of course conversation was mainly around the topic of work, weddings and engagements and whatnot. Exciting isn’t it, that some of us have decided to tie the knot. We’re planning to get some cloth and tempah together for the occasions, so that we’ll all look nice. Of course, it would be so much fun! :)

And the food... was divine! Seriously divine! I had lamb chops and iced tea and the rest had some fish, pasta and whatnots (sorry tak ingat nama diaorang punya food). And then, we chose 5 deserts to pass round the table, including the all time favourite; brownies with ice cream! Hmmm.. super scrumptious! Jaja’s caramel cupcake was lovely as well. Okay, I love deserts, enough said.

I had so much fun, people! We should do this more often.

Jika sebulan sekali pon saya dah cukup happy.

Thanks Adlin for suggesting the place. This place warrants a repeat; lovely food and splendid ambience as well :). Of course, I wouldn't trade kamuorang for the world.

More photos *here*

June 20, 2009

Haneesa marvels at how good a day today was.

Yes, I’m still marvelling at it. It began just like any other Saturday; with my mom screaming from downstairs telling me to get ready. With me driving her to wherever she wanted (and not quite ready because I didn’t bathe). With me eating breakfast with her and telling her what happened in the office yesterday (we were both too bummed out yesterday plus I wanted to watch Jamie Oliver).

And then, I was contemplating on whether or not I should go to Putrajaya with my sister (my dad was trying to lure me) or go to Yaya’s birthday as planned. Since I had already promised Yaya and I haven’t seen her in lightyears (ni tak tipu, memang lama sangat), I went somewhere to get her birthday present, which I have been eyeing on since last weekend, and then headed to her house.

Her house is soooooooooo divine! The last time I went there, I was already gobsmacked. And this time round, I was just marvelling at how wonderful it was to have such a contemporary home, while being uber comfortable at the same time.
The wonders of having an in-house architect, ey?

We ate nasi beriyani, with chicken and mutton curry (which explains why I only ate toast tonight!), which was super scrumptious and then, we went upstairs, where Yaya paraded her treasures, accumulated from her long-time addiction: online shopping.


And then, I insisted that she opened the birthday present I gave her, and I’m so glad she likes it!

I had one crazy fun time with Rahmah, as well. Would you just look at those curls! She’s grown so much... the last time I saw her, she didn’t even have that much hair. Haha.

All in all, I had a great time. It was a simple get together for family and close friends. And someone other than me feigned an interest in Theodore, which will probably explain why there are more pictures of me, this time around.

Mohd. Seth, if and when I were to get married, I will send a card to Yaya & Family and also Seth & Partner. Why you are sooo excited about my wedding, I don’t know.

Kan I cakap I tunggu you jalan dulu. Hahaha.

June 19, 2009

on this again.

opinion here from TheStar.

and i have written something on this as well...

*click here*

my take on this is that people are trying to keep the masses ignorant.
it's so much easier to control people when they aren't clever right?

so, go figure.

learn things in English, tapi jangan lupa roots kita, baik?

penghulu segala hari.


Today we had a Tazkirah. One of the best things about working in a government department is that the divinity of things is often not forgotten. Even with the increase in entry of non-Malays into the department now, we still hold these sessions while extending the invitation to them. And they seem not to mind attending at all, because I think that the Malay officers here have also learnt to be more accommodating and tolerant towards the various sensitivities of each race

In that, it makes the tazkirah a lot more interesting and the penceramah a lot more approachable.

today, we were told why our prayers have not been answered.

4 main reasons:

Makanan yang kita makan haram;
Minuman yang kita minum haram;
Pakaian yang kita pakai haram; dan
Makanan, minuman dan pakaian yang diberi kepada kita

I guess we’re all guilty of this recklessness at times. Though my family is the wary and cautious type, on my own, I can be quite reckless.

So, have we done enough to ensure that everything we eat comes from a legitimate, healthy and clean source?

I hope so.

And another thing we learnt today is that there are only 2 types of people Allah recognises.

The intelligent; and
The stupid.

To fall under the category of intelligent people, we must always reflect upon what we have done each and every day. Feeling good and assuming that we did good everyday is not enough to make us an intelligent person. We must always remember that the world does not revolve around us. Thus, we must be wary not to hurt another person when we stretch our hands sideways. We must make room for them so that we can all be equally comfortable.

If you want to remain stupid (I’m sure not), you’re allowed to “dahulukan nafsu sebelum akal” dan “berdoa tanpa berusaha.” Cristal clear, isn’t it? I’m sure we don’t need more explanation.

It’s never too late to start. A reminder to myself, more than anything, actually. I hope I will not forget this.

And another thing, our penceramah told us that when we say our do'a we are closest to Allah then. We should ask for what we need and what we want. Tapi jangan lupa usaha, okay?

June 18, 2009

burning candle.

I feel like something is missing in me. I think it is my drive. Yes, I’m sure it is my drive. Suddenly, I totally understand the meaning of being all burnt out. But any moment longer spent dwelling on this issue will consume my energy. It will consume me. So I’d better stop.

On a lighter note, today is Thursday already! Yeayness! Such bliss knowing that I’m just a day away from a weekend full of rest (hopefully).

Hey, I’m really tired and don’t know what else to say.

Gosh, it’s official then. I am officially declaring that this is sloth week.

I’m just not sure whether by forced accumulation, or by choice.

June 17, 2009

ngot dan nget.

silly, i know.

you know how dazed and disoriented i am today right? that i forgot about meetings and discussions and what have you. thing is, work doesn’t allow this lagging period and when people get back to work, they are expected to... work.

we normally book parking spaces for those from other agencies who come here for meetings and discussions. and i had to do the booking this morning.

a few hours after i sent the memo, phone rings:

“puan hanisa, ni william, dari keselamatan.”
(dalam hati terbakar, aku belum puan lagi la...)
“oh, ye, ye, kenapa ye?”
“puan, puan ada book parking kan tadi?”
“ada. kenapa ye?”
“puan, kami nak confirm balik time meeting tu.”
“oh, petang ni, pukul 2.30.”
“oh, okay. sebab puan hantar memo dekat kami cakap pukul 2.30 a.m.”

(what the hell? siapa yang meeting pukul 2 pagi, hoi? if habis at 2.30 can la, ni start at 2.30??

yes, that proves just how disoriented i was today.

but apparently, i’ve been dazed for a long time. macam orang high pulak.

“lynn, saya dah pte blog tu. tapi saya dah invite awak dah. just sign in using your yahoo acc.”
“oh, you mean yang essenceoflynn tu?”
“yeap, that one.”
“kakak, permission denied. maybe you can add me later?”
(i checked my settings because i was positive that i invited her)
“essenseoflynn invited on 12/6/2009”
(omg salah invite. who the hell did i invite then??)

saya pon message balik dengan malunya kerana saya terlalu ngok la gamaknya.
maafkan saya, i will be less dazed by next week, insyaallah. :)

necessary hasty decision.


When I got back from Pangkor, I googled myself. Okay, maybe that’s not the first time I did it, but you’re not allowed to laugh because you do it too, don’t you? Well, point is I googled and discovered that I am the third hit.

I didn’t know that it was THAT easy to find me on the net.

Talk about the internet being a blessing and a nuisance all at once.

When I found that out, pieces of a puzzle started to glue together. Of how one of my colleagues suddenly found this space through days of bloghopping.

And of how another colleague suddenly mailed me about “writing” under the Youthsays program or something. It struck me as odd that she sent it to me and not the normal thread to everyone we know kind of thing.

Now, I think she might have googled and found my blog before she sent that email to me.

Okay, I don’t want to sound so obnoxious and perasan that people are actually googling to find me. But I have a feeling that alot of us do this when we want to find out about someone.

And after Pangkor, there was alot to find out about the bunch of us, especially when Pangkor didn’t go as well as we all planned. And what better way to find out if not through an impulsive writer’s blog? You know how nasty I can get if I’m nastily impulsive.

So anyway, I suspect that perhaps some people already know the existence of this space but have been keeping mum about it. After all, it’s such a thrill looking through somebody else’s window, especially if that person doesn’t know, right?

So, making this blog private was a necessary hasty step.

I only have 13 readers, you know? So, maybe not many people miss it after all.

Though Adlin did point out last night that people are not requesting because they think that I invite only those who I want. Partly true, but if you’re a Fightersz, I’d probably add you up without hesitation if you asked me.

But I have reservations about those from UiTM Law School, because word passes around too quickly these days and it’s a dog eat dog world out here. People save themselves and themselves alone.

So, yes. I know I didn’t need to justify. But just in case you know people who want to read, tell them to tell me. I am in the process of going through my address book to identify those yang rajin comment atau call untuk verify cerita-ceriti mengarut saya. I will add them soon.

Other than that, thanks to all of you who want to read this crapazoa space. I know I crap alot, but hey, that makes me happy, so let me be?


Oh, btw, I googled again and I’m the first hit. All the more reason to continue this, ey?

dazed and disoriented. and caffeinated. as usual.

-->I am at my caffeine infested work station on a Wednesday morning. I forgot how it feels like to take leave midweek and how it feels like to return to work after that (short) break. It has been so long since the last time I took a day off.
I was really tired yesterday, and felt bouts of doubt about whether or not I should go to work. And of all times, someone special was around on quite short notice I must say, for something we hope would be the ultimate cure, once and for all. So, I took a day off on very short notice as well.

Well, what’s necessary is necessary.

I will not elaborate more on first the para. above for fear that I jinx good luck.

Having left work for just a day has left me dazed and disoriented. In fact, the first 20 minutes after I arrived at work, I was yawning. And the next 20 was spent taking a deep, long nap. Such bliss.

Don’t worry I woke up at 8.00 and started work, pronto. Though I still am pretty much disoriented, really, which pretty much explains this post, I guess.

I also forgot that I have a meeting this morning. I also forgot that I need to meet my boss for a discussion about something fruitless since our client is not at all helping in making our lives any easier than it should be.

The wonders of working life, ey?

I should probably get back to work.

Oh, Adlin dearest, I know you wouldn’t be reading this today (at least not now) because you are proudly being robed in Shah Alam! Happy Long Call! You do us proud, congratulations!

Pictures below from our mini Congratulatory celebration at Pondok, Kota Damansara.

Pondok at Kota Damansara

my rescue rangers :)

menu yang comel dan comot.

specialty: soup suzy. sedap sehingga ke titisan akhir.

Adlin the lawyer

Mamita, she makes a spanking good mak mertua, tahu tak? ;p