"it is what it is"...

 ... is what my friend recently wrote on IG.

And while at first blush it seems as if my friend had given up on life, she had actually not. 

On the contrary, while she was resigned to the fact that her life is what it is, and that she had made peace with it, she had, in the same breath validated the fact that what she is facing at the moment is hard.

In life, some things are what they are, that's a given. But that doesn't make our challenges any less harder or that we have to simply brush them aside and ignore how they make us feel. This life is not meant to be perfect so it's really okay if it isn't.

But that said, if the imperfection makes us feel down or upset, we need to face that feeling and validate it. 

And to validate it, we need to recognise that we are allowed to have a reaction to how it makes us feel. 

And we need to always remember that, where reactions are concerned, we are in complete control. 

We may not always be able to respond to it rationally, or unemotionally, or in a way that is acceptable (to God knows who) but on the days we can, we should really give ourselves credit and pat ourselves on the back.

This past two weeks, I have been ebbing in and out of accepting that life is what it is. At the same time, I have also allowed myself to be upset about how some parts are making me feel less than great.

And while I am completely aware of how in control I am of my reactions, there are some days when I question if I should (control my reactions). 

On those days, I simply give in to how low the situation has brought me to and go with the flow; I let the dishes sit in the sink overnight, I sleep in for an extra hour, I don't rush anyone or anything although we are running late on school mornings and some days, I even explain to my children about the situation I am going through so that they are aware and somehow understand why I am the way I am, and I assure them that this phase shall pass.

Doing this has allowed me to have a little bit of "mope moment". Doing this has allowed me to somehow feel stronger, and have the energy get out of that warm duvet and be where I need to be and do things that I'm supposed to get done. Doing this has allowed me to validate the fact that life gets hard sometimes (and sometimes beyond my control) but it also allows me to know that after I give myself a breather, I am in total control of the things that follow, if that makes any sense to you at all.

(written on 12th July 2023 - found in my drafts)

(posting it anyway, because it still seems so valid)