221 | 122 disclosure.

A lot of people think that it was just about the ex-bf factor. But I beg to differ. It was not just about the ex-bf factor. It was more than just that. The ex-bf factor did play a part, but like I said, it was more than that. You’d think I’m cold-hearted to have done what I did and to have left the way I did, but I am hurting too. But I know that not many people know what really transpired and I don’t know if I want you all you know. Some of you won’t even believe that such a thing would or could happen between us. We were very tight.

It would never quite be the same. Honestly, I tried but I couldn’t. I don’t know why I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t even put up a façade, which I know is the least I can do in these circumstances, but I didn’t because I couldn’t.

Sometimes, I feel like calling her up to talk to her, but I won’t. I won’t because I don’t know what I want out of it. I know that I want to talk about it and tell her what it was that is hurting me so bad and what part she played in it, but I haven’t done it because all I know is that I want to talk to her, but I don’t know what about and how. I don’t even know how I want it to end.

I lost my best friend. I lost her because of the different people we have become and because all the good things we had was never strong enough to lessen my pain. I just had to leave my grief as it is, and I had to walk away.

I have moved on but I lost my best friend. And I don’t think anyone will understand how difficult it is to be in that position.

Happy birthday, and God Bless, forever and always.