old friend, good friend?
People always tell me that old friends are the best, but are they really?
About a week ago, Adlin asked me whether she was the only one who didn't feel like going out with her old friends anymore. So I told her that she's not alone in that because it's true. Sometimes, we feel bad about it, yes we do. It's not that we've gone all bad and heartless that we don't consider how our old friends feel, no.
It's just that sometimes, our brainwaves just don't match anymore. No matter how much or how hard we try to make them. It becomes harder and harder to find things we have in common. And it becomes even tougher to be physically present together with that person when we can no longer find a common topic to talk about.
During my Honours programme, I ignored countless text messages, phone calls and emails from my old friends because I just didn't have the energy to explain to them what it was that made me so busy. Plus, I didn't need them to console me and tell me that things would be alright, because I knew that they weren't going to be. At least not then. This is just one of the examples I can think of, where old friends may not necessarily be the best people on earth.
Sometimes, it's not only old friends that we find trouble matching our brainwaves with. Sometimes, I space out when Mamita and Adlin talk about civil law and court procedure because that's not the nature of my work. And to think that I actually meet them pretty often. So imagine the extent of awkwardness if I were to talk to people whom I have not met in eons, who are doing totally and completely different things than I am, or worst still, not doing anything at all.
When it gets tougher to find a common ground; the basis on which that friendship was built on, we can't help but turn to people we feel most comfortable with just because. It's also unavoidable that we make friends with the new people we meet because somehow, they shed some light on some things in life we have never thought about, and that simply brings about a new breath of fresh air.
We move on. As sad as it is, it's true that we do. Some old friends may remain our friends, but when we can't be friends anymore, should we really push the issue?
About a week ago, Adlin asked me whether she was the only one who didn't feel like going out with her old friends anymore. So I told her that she's not alone in that because it's true. Sometimes, we feel bad about it, yes we do. It's not that we've gone all bad and heartless that we don't consider how our old friends feel, no.
It's just that sometimes, our brainwaves just don't match anymore. No matter how much or how hard we try to make them. It becomes harder and harder to find things we have in common. And it becomes even tougher to be physically present together with that person when we can no longer find a common topic to talk about.
During my Honours programme, I ignored countless text messages, phone calls and emails from my old friends because I just didn't have the energy to explain to them what it was that made me so busy. Plus, I didn't need them to console me and tell me that things would be alright, because I knew that they weren't going to be. At least not then. This is just one of the examples I can think of, where old friends may not necessarily be the best people on earth.
Sometimes, it's not only old friends that we find trouble matching our brainwaves with. Sometimes, I space out when Mamita and Adlin talk about civil law and court procedure because that's not the nature of my work. And to think that I actually meet them pretty often. So imagine the extent of awkwardness if I were to talk to people whom I have not met in eons, who are doing totally and completely different things than I am, or worst still, not doing anything at all.
When it gets tougher to find a common ground; the basis on which that friendship was built on, we can't help but turn to people we feel most comfortable with just because. It's also unavoidable that we make friends with the new people we meet because somehow, they shed some light on some things in life we have never thought about, and that simply brings about a new breath of fresh air.
We move on. As sad as it is, it's true that we do. Some old friends may remain our friends, but when we can't be friends anymore, should we really push the issue?
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