wasting me.
You see, after last Saturday, I came to realise how much I love learning. I really, really do love learning. I love going to classes and walking into lecture halls and doing assignments. I know that when I was a student, I loathed the sight of a test or class or assignment and at times, I loathed the sight of a lecturer too. I especially loathed Civil Procedure. But, that doesn’t stop me from saying that I love learning.
Working has its perks, no doubt. Apart from free accommodation and good dinner every single night, there are other things which I pay for myself from my own pay. And as the eldest sister, I think I can claim that I am quite generous towards my siblings and what more my parents.
But I still think that going to campus, going to lecture halls and taking notes is the life. Those learning years are perhaps the best years in my life yet, no doubt.
Now, there are other things which I learn about. I am learning to be more patient with people. Where I work, ideal isn’t exactly the word to describe it. I guess nowhere would be ideal for anyone, really. Adjustments must be made. Back then, I was always the leader, now, I am being led. It has humbled me. But that doesn’t (and I think shouldn’t) stop me from wanting to learn more.
After some self-reflection, I think I know why I was so quiet last week.
Last week, I just lost my drive. I lost it. I wanted to work harder, but I wasn’t putting my thoughts to life. I wanted to give more input but I was just plain lazy to do anything. I was procrastinating and lazy. Period. Lazy is the one word which depicts my whole attitude perfectly.
And when I sat down and got down to thinking, it hit me. It hit me that I was becoming more and more complacent. I lost the drive because I thought the drive was not required out of me. More than anything, I was angry that they (who shall not be named) were just wasting me; my energy, my presence, my ideas, my whole being. I thought that my whole existence was being wasted. And I am not used to that. I am not used to being just someone. I am used to being THE someone.
All this balls down to how you want people to treat you, really. I always think that people don’t take me seriously enough because they feel like I’m not serious. It’s not that I don’t know how to separate work and play, but sometimes, what I am (manja, mengada dan sbgnya) gets the best of me. And at times, I’m just plain lazy too. And last week, my laziness got the best of me.
I know now that I can be what I WANT other people to perceive me as. Though we don’t and shouldn’t really care about how people think of us, it is important not to come across as a sloth; and even worse, a no-good for nothing kind of person. I’d like to be someone, someday, and I probably should start right now.
Even if it means doing something for someone we don’t exactly feel blessed to work with. Because in the end, someone will see something good out of this, InsyaAllah.
I don't know why there haven't been many photos from me of late. I'm working on Theodore but losing inspiration. That shall be one of the things I will start working on, again, soon, too.
Working has its perks, no doubt. Apart from free accommodation and good dinner every single night, there are other things which I pay for myself from my own pay. And as the eldest sister, I think I can claim that I am quite generous towards my siblings and what more my parents.
But I still think that going to campus, going to lecture halls and taking notes is the life. Those learning years are perhaps the best years in my life yet, no doubt.
Now, there are other things which I learn about. I am learning to be more patient with people. Where I work, ideal isn’t exactly the word to describe it. I guess nowhere would be ideal for anyone, really. Adjustments must be made. Back then, I was always the leader, now, I am being led. It has humbled me. But that doesn’t (and I think shouldn’t) stop me from wanting to learn more.
After some self-reflection, I think I know why I was so quiet last week.
Last week, I just lost my drive. I lost it. I wanted to work harder, but I wasn’t putting my thoughts to life. I wanted to give more input but I was just plain lazy to do anything. I was procrastinating and lazy. Period. Lazy is the one word which depicts my whole attitude perfectly.
And when I sat down and got down to thinking, it hit me. It hit me that I was becoming more and more complacent. I lost the drive because I thought the drive was not required out of me. More than anything, I was angry that they (who shall not be named) were just wasting me; my energy, my presence, my ideas, my whole being. I thought that my whole existence was being wasted. And I am not used to that. I am not used to being just someone. I am used to being THE someone.
All this balls down to how you want people to treat you, really. I always think that people don’t take me seriously enough because they feel like I’m not serious. It’s not that I don’t know how to separate work and play, but sometimes, what I am (manja, mengada dan sbgnya) gets the best of me. And at times, I’m just plain lazy too. And last week, my laziness got the best of me.
I know now that I can be what I WANT other people to perceive me as. Though we don’t and shouldn’t really care about how people think of us, it is important not to come across as a sloth; and even worse, a no-good for nothing kind of person. I’d like to be someone, someday, and I probably should start right now.
Even if it means doing something for someone we don’t exactly feel blessed to work with. Because in the end, someone will see something good out of this, InsyaAllah.
I don't know why there haven't been many photos from me of late. I'm working on Theodore but losing inspiration. That shall be one of the things I will start working on, again, soon, too.
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