March 29, 2010

all by myself.

Yesterday, I felt like I wanted to be alone. I have not spent a quiet weekend with myself in the longest time. It's always about someone else's event, or someone else's needs that I need to attend to. Though I have my own things to do, I put everything on hold because I care enough to stop in my tracks for the people I love and care about. 

And where work is concerned, most of the time, I don't really have that much of a choice. Sometimes, I am surrounded by inefficient and ineffective people who affect me in so many ways that I can't be bothered explaining how pissed I am anymore. 

As selfish as it sounds, I am in dire need of some time alone. I've got to stop putting other people before me too much. I've got to stop being so selfless.I've got to quit being myself for a while.

Not that I enjoy being a loner so much or that loneliness is my bestfriend or anything. But I just need that "session" or slot, where I can pluck my earphones into my ears and take a long walk, hike whatever you might call it in the park or on Broga Hill or anywhere which allows me to sweat and think, simultaneously. I'd also like to take better photos. My unhappiness is affecting my want and ability to capture moments. I just can't be bothered anymore.

And though I anticipate this week to be a long week because of reasons which shall not be disclosed, I WILL take off on Friday, AS PLANNED. If no one has the time to look into the things I want, I'll do it myself.

Til Friday. Pray me a good week.








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