May 13, 2009

kick back those shoes and relax already.

As I kick off my shoes, I realise that I really need solitary lunch hours like this. I never knew they were good for me. Working life does that to you sometimes. Sometimes, you can’t help but want to be alone just because.

This morning I woke up not recognising the girl in the mirror. With the deepened creases on my forehead, it’s a wonder that I still have the cheek to still call myself a girl (and not to mention, act like one), knowing very well that I’m very much a grown young lady. I know you’ll detect denial in this sentence, but hey, that’s okay.

By nature, I’m not a gossiper. Okay, so that may not be entirely true, but that’s also true on many levels. Let’s say that I’m quite selective about whom I gossip to because I have trust issues. But of late, I noticed that I’m becoming more and more reckless about what comes out of my mouth and who my audience is.

So, it’s actually no wonder how sometimes I land myself in tough spots unintentionally. I mean, in the first place, who would be daft enough to intentionally land themselves in tough spots, right? So, I’m not even sure why I said that.

Working life also makes a sure person unsure. There are many things to consider. Number one to be pleasing and the second is to please. And mind you, it’s not the same thing if you think of it properly. When you want to act pleasing, you just want to be nice. And when you want to please someone else, well, you get what I mean.

Bottom line is that it’s not that easy. You don’t know how to act sometimes, and you don’t know what to say sometimes.

One day, I’m going to read this and laugh at myself. Just like how I gaped at how much I hated Honours for the many things I’m not that it turned me into. Now, upon reflection, I realise that I don’t hate it all that much. In fact, those times were probably the best days of my life.

So, maybe, I should just sit back and relax while I have 10 minutes to go until my lunch break ends.

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