Sacred ceremony.
Did you know that weddings and marriages are sacred? I hope you do.
The pressure is on. But I’m on top of it, so that’s okay. My friends are married/planning to get married. The numbers are not very alarming (yet) but they are escalating by day. Every single word I type is the equivalent of every tick a bride-to-be puts on her checklist. Soon, I will run out of single friends to hang out with. And soon, I will be an aunty to many babies. Right now, I already am.
Thing is, marriage is a sacred thing and something not to be rushed into, least of all when you think you aren’t ready. It isn’t easy. Not that I’ve been in one, but I’ve been observing and it really isn’t something which you can make work with just a snap of your fingers. In fact, it takes more than two to tango.
A wedding is a different thing altogether and I think most people forget this fact. The ceremony and the life after are two separate things regardless of how we want to deny it. Your marriage can’t be the fairytale wedding you had. Unless of course, you’re a Stepford wife with no emotion.
You can’t wear your wedding gear, make up and dress everyday. You can’t. You can’t parade in them when cooking, doing house chores, going to the office and most of all, you can’t wear them all when making love your husband.
The only thing that stays on is the wedding ring. And the marriage cert you carry around with you everywhere.
Too much pressure is being put on wedding ceremonies, I think. It might not be fair for me to say this because my turn has yet arrived, but this is an opinion which I feel I MUST voice out.
I don’t blame people for the amount of meticulousness and attention they give to details. I don’t blame people for putting all their life savings on the best things for the ceremony. After all, all we want is the best for ourselves and insyaAllah, it will happen only once in a lifetime. So yes, why not?
But like I said before, did you at all think about the life after?
And what’s up with the competition? So what if I wear silver and you wear pink and another friend wears red? I think about a thousand people wear the same colours in a year, so what’s the big fuss? Is there even an issue of who thought of it first and who thought of it last and who didn’t think of anything and just stole ideas?
Embarking into a new life; being married, is a sign of maturity, of developing oneself to being a better person, of willingness to share your most treasured possessions, of insyaAllah, being a mother whom your child can depend on. So, why is the fuss all about the colour?
I’ve seen ceremonies which were simple, but extremely meaningful. (Hood’s was especially so). She didn’t tell me she was wearing black until the day before. She didn’t tell me who would do her make up. She didn’t tell me that the apartment she would be living in is so lovely, I wished I were married. She didn’t brag that she chose the best things. Well, look at her. Look at her wedding photos and visit her page after her wedding. She’s extremely happy with her marriage.
And the last thing we cared about was who thought of what colour first and who did what by whom and where. What was important was that she was happy. And it was beautiful.
Plan all you want and spend all the money you want. Set up a blog if you must to document your journey to your wedding day. Just don’t do it at the expense of others. And don’t purposely make others inferior of what you have. Not everyone can afford what you can and even you might not afford what you say you can.
Life can change in such a short time it’s unbelievable.
The pressure is on. But I’m on top of it, so that’s okay. My friends are married/planning to get married. The numbers are not very alarming (yet) but they are escalating by day. Every single word I type is the equivalent of every tick a bride-to-be puts on her checklist. Soon, I will run out of single friends to hang out with. And soon, I will be an aunty to many babies. Right now, I already am.
Thing is, marriage is a sacred thing and something not to be rushed into, least of all when you think you aren’t ready. It isn’t easy. Not that I’ve been in one, but I’ve been observing and it really isn’t something which you can make work with just a snap of your fingers. In fact, it takes more than two to tango.
A wedding is a different thing altogether and I think most people forget this fact. The ceremony and the life after are two separate things regardless of how we want to deny it. Your marriage can’t be the fairytale wedding you had. Unless of course, you’re a Stepford wife with no emotion.
You can’t wear your wedding gear, make up and dress everyday. You can’t. You can’t parade in them when cooking, doing house chores, going to the office and most of all, you can’t wear them all when making love your husband.
The only thing that stays on is the wedding ring. And the marriage cert you carry around with you everywhere.
Too much pressure is being put on wedding ceremonies, I think. It might not be fair for me to say this because my turn has yet arrived, but this is an opinion which I feel I MUST voice out.
I don’t blame people for the amount of meticulousness and attention they give to details. I don’t blame people for putting all their life savings on the best things for the ceremony. After all, all we want is the best for ourselves and insyaAllah, it will happen only once in a lifetime. So yes, why not?
But like I said before, did you at all think about the life after?
And what’s up with the competition? So what if I wear silver and you wear pink and another friend wears red? I think about a thousand people wear the same colours in a year, so what’s the big fuss? Is there even an issue of who thought of it first and who thought of it last and who didn’t think of anything and just stole ideas?
Embarking into a new life; being married, is a sign of maturity, of developing oneself to being a better person, of willingness to share your most treasured possessions, of insyaAllah, being a mother whom your child can depend on. So, why is the fuss all about the colour?
I’ve seen ceremonies which were simple, but extremely meaningful. (Hood’s was especially so). She didn’t tell me she was wearing black until the day before. She didn’t tell me who would do her make up. She didn’t tell me that the apartment she would be living in is so lovely, I wished I were married. She didn’t brag that she chose the best things. Well, look at her. Look at her wedding photos and visit her page after her wedding. She’s extremely happy with her marriage.
And the last thing we cared about was who thought of what colour first and who did what by whom and where. What was important was that she was happy. And it was beautiful.
Plan all you want and spend all the money you want. Set up a blog if you must to document your journey to your wedding day. Just don’t do it at the expense of others. And don’t purposely make others inferior of what you have. Not everyone can afford what you can and even you might not afford what you say you can.
Life can change in such a short time it’s unbelievable.
Comments
nice entry kakak!
Jinan, u're not in the office anymore!! so sad. but i still go to the chambee room once in a while now :)
how are you laaa
adeciti
-awak,ssha here.i truly like tht part.ade lah sgt btul dan kena.who cares anyway what u chose 4 ur wedding kan bcoz its urs.n even if we will b wearing the same colour on the same day of wedding,the marriage stll belongs to us,separately.some people must grow up.
p/s:did i sound a lil bit too angry? ;p