July 28, 2010

for your own good.

I'm listening to that song. That one song which probably no one is sharing with us. Weird. We only have like 2 songs, which are really our songs. Not just any love songs. And to be honest, most of our love songs are sad songs. Probably due to the distance, previously. It's good to be near. Don't know how I used to survive 6 weeks at one go without seeing him, once upon a time ago.

Well, today's not about love songs. Today's not even about the engagement or wedding preps (not directly related anyways) because well, you know me. Until and unless all is well and over, might as well not hope for anything from me, ey ;)

I've been trying very hard to play catch up with my work of late. It's a little tough but I'm determined to make sure I do my work properly. I didn't come to work to makan gaji buta. Oh, no. The last thing I want to do is to prepare my wedding using duit makan gaji buta. I have been taught well enough to earn my keep and it is not by riding on a pay which I don't deserve.

How does it feel like to be engaged? I thought I said I didn't want to talk about this? Well, never mind. This is what's on my mind, so be it. It feels... great. Though I must admit that it's not quite different. Yet. Maybe it's because we've both been oh-so-busy that the only dates we have are after-work meets to discuss our next course of action and also to vent (especially me) when I have something on my mind which I do not wish to share on my blog.

We haven't gone on a proper date yet. Plus, my dad has made it very, very clear even before the merisik that things don't just change just because we're engaged. Curfews are still curfews, so that means, when I leave the house early in the day on a weekend, I must at least, set foot in the compounds of the house by Maghrib. Thereafter, if they permit, I can go out with him again for dinner, etc.

Yes, I have a strict father. Though, I must admit that it is to my advantage.

Do your friends mock you for having a strict family? I used to be so ashamed about having "uncool" parents, you know. Like how my mom would inspect my attire from head to toe before I left the house. Or like how my dad would call Mister if he couldn't get through to me when I'm out on a date, just to check where we are (especially after curfews) and how he would wait for me outside the gate when it gets too late (which is probably 10 p.m. padahal I left the house after Maghrib). It's a bit tough for me to join my friends at night, etc., unless they're hanging out some place really close to my place.

My only discounts are when I go out with Mamita (that's like practically no curfew, especially after a tough day at work) and when I'm out with my cousins (none of our parents bother to check). Other than that, I used to be so, so upset with the fact that my parents controlled my curfews when all is well and dandy and it's obvious that hello, I'm 25, not 15.

But now that I'm getting married and thinking about future, and inevitably about my own family and kids, I realise how thankful, grateful, bersyukur I am to have parents who check my every move. Sometimes, when they don't check on me, that's when I miss them the most. Even Mister will say, "Eik, ajaib Mama tak call." since we're so used to having them check on the both of us.

Plus, it's nice of my friends to be so understanding (especially the Kesayangans) and patient and with that comes their great help and sacrifices in coming over to my place first before going out anywhere, picking me up at home and sending me back after drinks at the Mamak stall nearby, just so I get to join their activities. And after a while, friends who used to mock you for still having curfews even at the age of 25 just come to respect your way of life and stop mocking you altogether. They've even gone the extra mile of holding events at The Curve so that I wouldn't have to make such a long trip to Ampang. Nice, ey?

I know it isn't easy to bring children up, though I am far from problematic. Perhaps as a baby I was quite a huge burden (I couldn't stop crying. pelesit, orang kata) but now that I'm older, I'm proud to say I don't mind the things which make me a better person. Don't get angry with your parents for imposing curfews and ground rules. It's for your own good. And it keeps you out of unnecessary trouble.

Though of course, I'm no saint, sometimes, I do push it a little bit as well. I am young, after all. Well, aren't we all at heart? ;)

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)


shueyshoelove said...

Reading through ur post made me laugh. Sama sangat! Even my 30 y.o sister can't go out and come back as she pleases. Mother is queen of paranoia. We're used to it! And yes, after a while we realize it is for our own benefit. Fyi, my night dates with mr fiance goes as far as makan. Tak pernah movie. Tp saya suka. Our parents care. :)

freespirited12 said...

shuey, omg sama sangat!

the only time i pegi tgk midnight with the Mister is when i curi-curi buat. that was just once!

in fact, when my dad asked me where i wana go for my first honeymoon, i told him i wana go watch midnight movie with my husband. best!

and yes, i have gotten use to it too. and i love it that they care. that means they still have hope in us. i love that :)

good to know im not alone in this :)

aliahafiza said...

kakak, we're in the same shoes cume right now i'm staying on my own.... but u know how does my mom isn't it? she always knows when i'm not at home.... So, cmne pon slalu kantoi gak la kalo kuar mlm kn? but they do it for our own sake... btol x? =)

p/s: my 1st midnight movie was during i attended my induction programme... cool kn? org pon xpecaya when i told them bout this :P

freespirited12 said...

haha! aera, i remember masa kita nak pergi wangsa walk tuuu! omg scary sangat. masuk je kereta terus your mom call. sangat super powers ok!

but like you said, mmg for our own good. bagus jugak kita tak g buat jahat. hahaha

aliahafiza said...

hahaha..that's not the case yg i kna cmtu ye.. Slalu je cmtu.. As if she can smell where i am.. Hahaha =p

Sitti Amyrah Johari said...

same here babe.. even at the age of 26, AND married.. i still have to report of my whereabouts. Or maybe it's not the same case with you once you tie the knot.

But all in all, i am alright with it. Thankful indeed that my family imposes such 'come-back-by Maghrib' rules..

All the best!

freespirited12 said...

myrah: ahahah. okay, i don't know whether that will happen to me, but i do know that my mom will be calling me often since she's so used to having me at home! ahhahahaha. but it's good isn't it, this "come back by maghrib rule"? now that i'm older, i'm kind of thankful :)

zhmt said...

remember i shared with u how i faced the same thing from my parents? yes ure right kak, after u enter marriage life, things are so different. she wont call u anymore, and u'll miss her some how. i'll text her more than she does, u know. :)

zhmt said...

remember i shared with u how i faced the same thing from my parents? yes ure right kak, after u enter marriage life, things are so different. she wont call u anymore, and u'll miss her some how. i'll text her more than she does, u know. :)

freespirited12 said...

lynn: yeap, remember how we used to talk about this last time kan. how we both kena bersabar with our parents, being the first child (and girl) in the family and the things that come with it. i bet your mom misses you. i bet you miss her more. who wouldn't? your mom is super comel please :)