April 18, 2008

reckeless living

Okay. I wasn’t supposed to sleep nor doze off last night, but I did. I did wake up several times; once to brush my teeth, the second time to solat Isyak, and the last time to sleep on the edge of my bed. *I was lucky to have been given that opportunity* because before that I was sleeping on my table *at least my head was, that is*. This is example number 1 of my reckless living. I was supposed to be studying for my final test and my batteries just went flat after reading about documentary evidence *so boring and so many cases* which I ended up not memorising anyways. Thanks to the Evidence Act, I was able to scribble some answers in my answer script.

Then, after bathing and the daily morning coffee, Mami asked me whether I had paper. I was like, “yup, kenapa”. Then Mami told me that Nadnad needed paper and she was already in Shah Alam and that she forgot to bring hers. I was just about to offer some of mine and tadaa! Apparently, I don’t even have enough to make a whole booklet. I did not check?? How very reckless of me, especially that today is my Final Test! How dare of me not to check on the essentials. Haih...

We pushed off pretty early. It was about 8.07 a.m. when we left Baiduri compound for section 2 to buy some paper (for Mami, myself and Nadnad. Apparently all 3 of us forgot to check whether or not we had enough paper for the test). I won’t claim that I’m the most careful, alert and law-abiding road user and driver. I don’t think anyone can claim that for themselves. Of course there are times when I would drive in anger and tend to lose sight of things. But this doesn’t happen often, thank goodness. I give signals at junctions, I stay in the lane where I know that I have a right of way and basically, I’m quite careful on the road because there are several things which have become my phobia, 3 of which are pedestrians, motorcyclists and lorries.

Today, like any other day when I am heading towards section 2, I switched my signal on to turn to the left. I had switched it on the moment I came from the junction heading from Baiduri, it remained on when I was turning at the roundabout and I still had it on when something very tragic happened; a motor crossed into my lane, right in front of me as I was turning to the left. Okay, I don’t mean to over exaggerate matters and make it more serious than it really is, but the man on the motorcycle hit the divider of the road and flew into the air before landing on the patch of grass on the road divider.

I wanted to stop but there were too many cars. At the same time, I didn’t want the other motorists to think that it was a hit and run case because I did not hit the motorcycle at all. Because the moment I saw the motorcycle crossing into my lane, I swerved to the right instead of continuing to the left, for fear of his life and also mine. So, the cause of him flying into the air was not because my Kembara hit him, but because he had hit the divider of the road quite hard. Doesn’t that show that he was driving pretty fast, actually?

After I made a whole round, I came back to the spot where he was “terpelanting”. He was already up on his feet, Alhamdulillah for that because my worse fear then was that I had caused him his death, even if I was not the one who hit him. He looked quite shaken but hey, so was I. Now tell me who wouldn’t be? Another motorist had kindly stopped his car to have a look at the “terpelanting” man. I’m just so happy that he’s alive. I asked him if he needed anything and he told me that he needed a ride to the hospital. I wanted to help in that sense, but seriously I couldn’t because my test was just in ½ hours time at that time. How was I supposed to send him and get back to the exam hall in time? So, the other motorist offered to send the man to the hospital.

He didn’t ask for my name, nor did he take down any of my particulars. Mama said that it could be that he was feeling guilty too, for coming into my lane because that really was my right of way. Mami can justify because she was there. He told me that I was driving quite fast, and I gaped in awe. I do not drive fast. I think anyone who has been in a car with me can say for sure that the fastest so far that I’ve driven is at 100 km/h on the highway. Other than that, I’m pretty slow.

I didn’t take down his particulars either. But I know that he works at section 7. Babah told me to lodge a police report but Mama was against it. I don’t know which one to do or not to do. This is example number 2 of my reckless life. Though I must say that the recklessness on this point was not caused by me.

I won’t elaborate on the test. I guess it’s safe to say that it was just okay-okay lah. See, reckless living number 3. Dah tak heran dah sangat dengan test. But I did try my utmost best, okay.

Then, after the test, the most crucial moment; deciding where to eat. Seriously, I’m a sucker at this. Sometimes although I’m hungry, I don’t know where to eat. So, in the end, I just follow anyone who is eating anything or go back home and cook capati (instant one of course). Mami said she wanted to eat squid head and kam heong and rice. If you go to Charms at OU (or The Curve), you should really taste it. It seriously is very good, okay. And as usual, being very hungry, I gobbled almost everything up. And of course I had to pay quite a large sum for it. take that. Reckless living number 4.

Nowadays, I don’t care that much how much I spend on food. I think it’s justified that I treat myself on good food, good fun and good clothes. But why do I feel so guilty? Yet at the same time, I really like this reckless living; of not knowing for sure how much I have in my bank accounts because I’ve gotten tired of checking, rechecking and keeping track. Saya sangat letih ok.

Is my fun justified fun, or am I just living life away recklessly? I’m so confused. Ada ke orang rasa gulity for having fun?

*p.s. please don't confuse yourself. Mami and Mama are 2 different people :)

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