July 26, 2011

HWTT

"I may not have even half your experience. But at least I know that I have at least twice your conscience."


I'm young. I'm driven. I love working. I love my job.
By the "standard definition", I don't fit in as a Government Servant very well.
Because aren't Government Servants supposed to be lazy and stupid?
Well, I admit to a certain extent, I don't blame the public for thinking that, but that is most definitely something I intend to change.
But, It kills me. It kills me to change a culture which has been there since time immemorial. Like someone wise once said, "it's like trying to push a huge rock, which refuses to move."
There are still many free riders. Still many people who don't care much for their work. Or have no pride in the things they produce.
Granted, those things aren't so important around here. The only assessment is the Year End Assessment. Which, if you excel at, would only improve your morale. Not your pay. Or bonus.
Because around here, everyone is treated equally, irrespective of their performance. Or contribution.
So, when your actions do not hurt your pocket, it's something not worth the headache. Right?

But, it's something which hurts others. It hurts others' youth. Others' personal time. Others' right to bring children up.
While we have been taught that it is important to respect the elder, when the elder think very lightly of their responsibilities, to me, they can kiss their respect from me goodbye.
I don't think I would hesitate to give them a piece of my mind the next time I see them.
Because to me, no matter how idealistic it is, everyone should know their place in the world.
We've all a role to play. If you don't play yours, I have to take over.
It's not that I don't want to learn. It's also not because I hate my job. How many times have I mentioned that I love my job?
Did you think I was being sarcastic?
The very thing I am doing right now is to take it all in like a sponge. A bottomless one, if you like.

"High Work Tolerance Threshold" is plastered to my head.
And that's the very thing people use against me. 
There are times when all I want to do is act dumb, play stupid.
And trust me, even that's an effort on my part. 
I simply cannot. I makes my head ache. More than alot of work does.

Sometimes, I don't know how some people can live with themselves. 
But, maybe, just maybe, the system is to blame.
Because it lets those people get away. It condones.
Because there are people like me who don't mind doing the job at a much lower pay. 

If you think Government Servants have it easy, they most certainly don't.
The next time you feel like saying something foul about Government Servants, think twice. And twice again.
Think of me and how I had to go to the office on Sunday morning. Think of me and how I stayed in the office until midnight to get our work done. For a Company which conveniently meshed everything up, hoping that we would rearrange everything. Because they knew we would.
And although I spend 14 hours on the same chair, typing away, I still drive a Saga and he drives an Audi. 
He has a driver. I drive myself. 
He probably has a maid. I'm the one who cooks and cleans in my house.
He probably has a mansion. I can't even afford a house on my loan.

Of course, I never meant to get so personal. But each time you think it's fine or even fun to condemn a Government Servant, think again. 

Think of me and everything I said. The reason why I'm still here is because of my HWTT. And because I believe that if someone had to change the way things worked, it could be me.



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