July 25, 2011

all by myself.

3 of my first friends in the office were Ayu, Shida and Navee.

I don’t know how it began but I know that we stuck to each other and got along pretty well.

3 years have passed now. Ayu left. Shida left.

I used to be so happy that Navee was still around because then, at least, when the going gets really tough, I could go to her room, hide behind that huge concave in the wall and get a lil’ 3-minute shut eye. Plus, even if I came down late for lunch, I would be able to just join her table.

Then, she got transferred.

And here I am alone. Of course I’ve got other friends here. But it will never be the same.

Those who are here are fond things I am not fond of. And have a different work culture which I can’t assimilate. Because such thing is luxury I can no longer afford, given the circumstances.

So, I became closer to colleagues in my own Unit because we are all in the same boat.

Everyday, I find that I am becoming more and more of a social recluse (of some sort), though not entirely by choice. I do enjoy my own company, but everyday of my own company? That’s something I am not really proud of.

Sometimes, I owe my condition to those whom I am affiliated to. But, after yesterday, I got thinking that maybe they’re not a bad bunch of people at all. Just misunderstood. And tired.

There are times when I wish that my friends were still around. There are also times when I wished that we could balance out between work and play.

Like how we hid inside the library for our Pre-CNY Tea Ceremony in 2009.
Like how we cooked up a feast for our PD trip.
Like how we played beach ball in Pangkor.
Or how we used to have secret meetings at the back of the photocopy machine.

Those days were great days, despite the many things that dissatisfied us.

Those days, those days.

We were a fun bunch. And I know that we still are. I just wish I wasn’t here alone.



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