October 14, 2010

would I?

What is the first thing that comes to your mind at the mention of “Marriage/Kahwin?”

I asked Mister this question last night. He told me, “Responsibilities.” He is worried as hell that he would not be able to carry out his responsibilities as a good husband.

Well, I’m afraid of not being a good wife as well, but at the mention of “Marriage/Kahwin?”, the first thing that comes to my mind is… (please don’t laugh at me),

Haha. I’m such a weirdo, right? But that is seriously the first thing that comes to my mind and I don’t know why.

I love cooking though I don’t cook much because… well, because of this. But still, it doesn’t make my love for cooking any less.

And that brings me to my next point, which is: “How on earth can I cook and enjoy my marriage if my working hours are crazy?

I know, I know. Some people have it worst than me. But seriously, how do all the married women do it and most importantly, how do the mothers do it?

I used to think that I wouldn’t have any problem, seeing that Mama did a good job raising us alone. Yes, when we were much younger, Babah worked in KL while Mama raised us in Seremban. We hardly saw him, vice versa and life back then wasn’t lavish or easy at all. *raises eyebrow at Adik* (peace Adik!)

So, I thought that if Mama could do it, I would have no excuse not to be able to do it too.

But those times were good times. It was the right time and right place and it’s like everything fell into place for the both of them. They weren’t earning much but they made ends meet. We had a comfortable place to live in and we were never short of any baju raya or birthday parties, no matter how simple.

How did she do it? Did the women then have it easier than the women now?

As a woman, I feel that the pressure is on. It’s as if a lot of people are peering through a microscope and I’m the subject of interest. Would I be able to clean the house properly, would I be able to make sure my husband’s (and kids’) clothes are well washed, dried, kept and ironed, would I have the time to talk to my husband and kids and look into their homework and school activities, would I be able to prepare them packed meals to be brought to school like Mama made me, would I forget to pick them up from school like how some people here in the office have done on occasions, would I be too tired to entertain them all when I finally get home from work or would they be sleeping every night without bedtime stories from their mom?

I mean, doesn’t you tummy tie up in knots every time you think of all the things you might not be able to do due to the demands of modern working women?

And of course, most importantly, would I be able to come back home everyday, in time to cook a nice hot meal for everyone and be able to sit around the table during dinner (like how Babah insists, even when I’m the only one at home) so that we could all get some special bonding time together?

I can’t even manage my own meals and Mama bothers about my clothes and sometimes change of towels and bedsheets, so would I be able to do it myself when I’m left to live on my own?

I bet that a lot of you working women are facing the same problems now. Oh, what is to become out of us? Can work be a little bit more marriage-friendly?

Work is not all that there is to life. Or has it become?

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)


chenta said...


i rasa u bukan cakap pasal 'cooking'. u pun cakap pasal 'responsibility'.

:) trust me, i pun takot dan hairan macamana mak mak kita dulu capable buat semua benda smoothly dalam satu masa!!

Haneesa said...

hahaha. actually, masa i dah habis tulis, i pun thought the same. hahaha. kalau kena buat karangan kat sekolah dah fail dah! ahahha. and yes, ibu-ibu mmg hebat.

Alia said...

thanks kakak.... i like this post so much!!!cheers =) Have a nice friday =)=)

tasha said...

funny because i was watching marley and me yesterday night and it hits me too. will i be able to cope?

i think eventually we will. first2 memang lah nothing comes easy but that's what marriage is all about kan? our mothers did it. and now it's our turn. and of course people can give advices and warnings ke ape. but the real dead is when we go through it ourselves.

and yes, the first thing that came to mind at the mention of marriage is sacrifices (apart from responsibilities). let us all pray we'll make it right :)

Haneesa said...

aera: :0

tasha: its scares the hell out of me although i know that i need to face it somehow. haih...