October 19, 2010


Yesterday in general, was a bad day for me. I cried a lot for many reasons and I was hot headed. It didn’t help that last night was really hot as well.

Yesterday morning, yes, early morning, I blew my top over a stupid joke a a guy made. I blew my head over "uncalled for remarks" by a colleague and all that because to me, they were being chauvinistic. And that they didn’t even care that they were, because to them, it’s just the norm.

It was a really stupid joke. We served some drinks for the meeting that wasn't supposed to even have drinks to begin with. We were supposed to bring our own. We were thinking that perhaps, since it was pretty informal, we'd do away with the saucers. So we just prepared cups. Someone made a comment about the lack of saucers, "Macam mana ni serve air macam ni je?!"

So, I just lashed back without thinking and told him that I didn't mind serving him his drink as long as he washed his own cup after that. I was short of telling him, "I'm not your maid, and you're not my Mister, so I have no obligation to serve you to begin with. Bring your own drink next time".

But of course, I managed to bite my tongue and shut the hell up. Today, I told my mom about it and my mom's eyes went as wide as saucers (pun intended). She told me not to do it too often, especially not to those older than me and I told her I don't. My anger yesterday, to put it simply... was just di hujung tanduk.


Even in this so-called modern world we live in, there are chauvinists of all forms. Why do you expect women to make the drinks and to clean up after you? Please. My dad does the dishes at home, okay? Because my mom's hands are sensitive and reacts adversely to anything detergent. And, yes, my mom does not go to work. When my Mister eats dinner at home, the least he would do is to accompany me while I'm doing the dishes. The last time he had dinner here, he did the dishes and had no problem with it. So, what's your excuse?

The problem with men is their preconceived ideas about what an ideal woman should be. If the girl were radical, talked too much, was too intelligent and spoke her mind too often, that would be the perfect taboo, because hey, aren't women supposed to be delicate, soft spoken, sopan santun and the likes? They (men) have these traditional roles embedded in their minds, so much so that anything but is a huge dent to their ego.

Please, don't give me all that bull crap about traditional roles.

If you want to start debating about traditional roles, that would mean that us girls would have to stay at home, conceive as many babies as possible, bring them up, make sure their homework is done and future is bright and men MUST and SHALL (denotes a mandatory responsibility) by all means, bring back "ENOUGH worms to the nest for EVERYONE". Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

But with the demands of the modern world, us girls, we go to work as well. Because for a household to sustain on just one income is out of the question. A man's responsibility to bring back the "worms to the nest" is a religious obligation and most women are aware of this, but we waive most of our rights because we would like to grow old with our spouse and expecting them to be the sole breadwinner who is the only one who thinks about bringing back the money would do the exact opposite. They would die of stress and we would have to grow old alone. So, we gladly split the roles.

I think (some) men have already changed their mindsets about these preconceived traditional roles of women. But having said that, only a few really, actually appreciate women, like truly for the "Extras" they do in addition to their sh*tloads of work in the office. And women continue to take care of household chores because its just in our nature to do so, even when we're sharing the burden of bringing home some cash.

So, please. Don't rile me with all this attitude of "women should do this, women should do that".

This has got to change. Please and thank you.

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)


Melissa said...

I get so ticked off when men leave their plates (sometimes with cigarette ashes in them) on the table after finishing their meals ! The least they can do is bring their plates to the sink lah kan. Hehe sorry emo pulak.
I think this ONLY-women-should-cook-&-clean mentality should be eradicated !
Thank you for this post.
I couldn't agree more.

tmc said...


aRrEs™ said...

brilliant thoughts and as a guy I do actually agree on every single things you said.taking care of children and do all the chores at home by women is sooo yesterday and it doesnt apply anymore now in the modern days.

i think this is my first comment on your blog.i will never ever let denna complaint anything on this particular matter because it is not happening like forever :)

*sorry ter-merapu lebih*

Haneesa said...

dear all,

tq vm.

though a lot of people may not agree on this matter, but what matters is that the few of you actually agree on it. because as important as the men-women traditional role is, it's also important to balance it out and suit it to the current condition of the society.

tq for reading.