I am reading through the text messages I wrote from late last night to early this morning and can still feel how angry I am, though a part of me now is more resentful rather than angry. Why am I so intent from stopping a disaster from happening if other people can’t be bothered to stop it from hitting them in the face?
Why should I bother? Because love is the only exception.
Because if on a normal day, you wouldn’t care to even give a second thought on the matter, love makes you have a sleepless night. It’s not even my problem, so why am I making it mine? It’s not even my heart, so why do I feel like crying?
Because I have tried to the very best of abilities – more than level best can do, to stop a disaster from hitting someone in the face. Yet there they are, diving into thingS head first. As always.
With all the good things going on in my life, this one thing is bringing me down.
How can I approve of a disaster? How can I even be happy when every thought of it makes me sick? It makes me sick, get that? I resent the way this whole thing turned out because no one listens. Apparently, no one listened.
What were all those longs hours of advice for? I feel so cheated.
Do you know how exhausted I am at the moment or how hot my body temp is – so much so that I have to be cautious, just in case I kill someone. Or two.
I can’t stop people from learning lessons. But I don’t want the lesson to be a disaster. I give up on trying anymore.
I’m so angry.
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