August 12, 2010

bau bau bacang aje.

It’s been so long since I last started fasting. I think my earliest memory of fasting must be when I was… 6 or 7, probably. And each time I came back from school, my mom would ask me whether I thought I was okay and whether or not I would like to eat something. I always passed her offer, though.

And just before Maghrib time came, I would take a (very long) shower, emerging out of the toilet and happier and not to mention, a fresher girl. You can obviously guess what I did, right? Because probably, you did it as well?

Come on, don’t tell me you people were saints even from that age? I wasn’t so bad but I still drank (at least a little) in the shower! Oops. Did I just disclose that?

So, fine, it’s no secret that that’s what most people did when they were little right? (please tell me I'm not the only one, I feel so bad already)

Well, anyways, after so long, I have come to realise that all the bad things we do, really have nothing much to do with the Satan we loathe so much. We do bad things regardless of whether Satan is tied or not. Tsk.

Most things we do are driven by lust. And when I make mention of lust, it’s not just the sexual aspect of it that I’m referring to. I mean, think of it, people always say, “nafsu amarah, nafsu makan, nafsu serakah (the worst perhaps? hehe) ” being some of the few I can think of, off hand.

So, it’s safe to say that… we only have ourselves to blame when something goes haywire, even in the holy month of Ramadan.

Like how I refuse to say sorry and make amends with a particular senior officer, because I do not believe in being a hypocrite.

Like how I still laze around a bit and dilly dally before I get started on my research and opinion writing right after my boss assigned me to something.

Like how I still get sleepy when attending Tarawikh at night.

Like how I still talk bad stuff about people and have nasty thoughts running in and around my head all day long.

Old habits do die hard, don’t they? I’d be glad if I could at least attempt to put them to sleep.

Told you that Setan tu hanya bau-bau bacang aje with the all the sins we make.

I hope I find the strength to properly repent this month. It would be such a waste to waste this month, don’t you think so?

Happy Day 2, everyone!

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)


Melissa said...

When I first started fasting in Standard 1, I used to sneak to the bathroom during class hours to take a sip of water from the tap ! Hehe.

Happy Ramadhan Haneesa. :)

freespirited12 said...

ahahha! so we all did it! the toilet trick!

Happy Ramadan to you too dear.

take care :)