in the long run.

Everything is about “in the long run”. Almost everything. No one lives in the moment anymore because we are thinking about “the long run”. As annoying as it seems, it’s true that we cannot run away from thinking about the future. Cannot. In everything we do, we are thinking of the consequences in the future. We cannot do something because it makes us happy now and not think about how it’ll make us feel later on. Sungguh stress di situ, bukan?

I have figured out that the things we don’t like (or even hate) the most are those which will keep on coming back to us.

The easiest example would be relationship-wise. No, it’s not that I don’t love my boyfriend. It’s just that at some point in my past life, I profusely promised myself that I would never (EVER) end up with someone who comes from a Sekolah Berasrama Penuh (SBP). I remember my exact words “Boring la. Nanti tak berkembang!” Oh, I’ve very much mengembang alright. Pipi-wise. He makes me so damn happy, you have no idea. So, serves me right, don’t you think so? I’ve been with him for 5+ years now.

The other thing is Company Law – the one thing which caused my scores to be a little bit less than perfect. I hated it. Company Law day in University meant Rojak and Cendol Karim Seksyen 9 for me. We always had them both just before class and my notes in class would look like the leaning tower of Pisa (akibat terlalu mengantuk). I cannot remember any class where I didn’t have to borrow someone else’s notes to copy when I got home. And after so many attempts to avoid having to do any work even mildly related to Company Law? Surprise, surprise. I even have the Company Secretary’s Handbook in my office with me now. Maybe I should consider applying to become one. Wah, sedikit far-fetched di situ.

I don’t like clingy people. I love space – my own time, my own things, my own everything. So, it beats me why clingy people are attracted to me. And no, I’m not talking about the love-sex-attraction, but more of the friendship kind of attraction. I’m like the least friendly person – in the sense that I don’t spend my hours in the office going from room to room or cubicle to cubicle to socialize. Not that I have so much to do or anything; I just don’t see the point of going round and round talking about people or things, etc. I choose the people with whom I gossip. But still, people who are clingy are attracted to me. Tak faham.

The other thing which I absolutely hate is doing research. I’m so ashamed to admit it, because the nature of my profession requires me to do research. My research sucks. BIG TIME. Tersangat teruk as compared to those who are so resourceful that it reflects in their work. I love to write though. When we were doing our Final Year Thesis, I was the writer/editor. I love writing things that make sense. But research is just not my thing. And guess what? That’s the bulk of the thing I’m doing now! Everything needs thorough research, thorough investigation (to put it loosely) and thorough asking around.Padan muka kau, Kak.

Point is, we don’t know where we’ll end up in the future. The things we hate may end up being the things we learn to love. That’s why, it’s always about “in the long run”, I guess. Because the things that make us happy in the moment will not last. Not all the time.

With that, I begin vetting my agreement now (the other thing which I don’t really like because it doesn’t involve much writing).

But I’m trying my best to be positive. I promise.

And it IS working ;). I promise even harder.



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