June 20, 2011

satu tahun sudah.

One year plus.

That's how long it's been.

June has always been a month of challenges. But last year's challenge must have been the biggest (so far). While I was juggling work and engagement preparations, my Atuk passed away.

He's never been sick before. Not with a chronic or terminal disease, at least. So, I think we all thought that he would shake his cold off and he would bounce back to his old self and stay with us forever.

But of course, we all have to go, eventually.

And the moment he had to put adult diapers on, he knew it was time. He had so much pride, that old man. No way was he going to put his children through so much trouble, while seeing him in such state. And he knew that that was not the way he wanted to spend the rest of his life. Of course, Allah knew better. And I think Allah knew best that this time last year, was the best time for Atuk to leave. So he did.

I think our family generally dealt with Atuk's passing better than we did when Nenek left. But after Atuk's passing, we all became changed people. It's as if nothing was there to bind us anymore.

Obviously, Atuk was a force to be reckoned with.

He lived 94 very good years. He was loved and cherished. He still is.

And I don't think anyone will stop missing him. But thoughts of him are always happy thoughts. Which is why in a sombre occasion, we still smile for him.

And let's hope that our prayers reach Allah and benefit him in the other world where he is now.

Amin.

Some photos before and after the kenduri arwah.

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

2 comments:

nurul said...

salam haneesa :)

i suppose i could relate to u, when u said when ur atuk left, there wasn't a force that glues the family anymore..

in my case, uncles and aunts left the kampung to celebrate raya elsewhere (inlaws etc). and due to age, my parents decided to celebrate raya in kl. it's been years now. i feel sad when all my friends celebrates raya at kampung and i'm left with Jaya Jusco and KLCC. hehe.

but..things like weddings and kenduris, the family comes together again. all of them came from johor to see me get married.

sometimes it takes a person to be taken (either by ajal or jodoh), for others to remember and congregate.

well, may the souls of our grandfathers n grandmas dirahmati Allah.

Haneesa said...

wsalam nurul,

kan? somehow, grandparents have this "pull factor" which is difficult to explain.

hari raya is never quite the same without them, somehow.

but... likewise, my family gathers for events too, as they did during my wedding. tak terbalas jasa diorang.

so, i hope that both our families will try to keep our bonds strong despite everything.

and may all those who have passed rest in peace.

take care :)