sembilan puluh empat.

He loved crabs. LOVED them.
He loved that city - Tampin; that place people didn't even know existed on the face of the earth.
He loved soto ayam nasi at Alor Gajah. My few last memories with him was when he ate my nasi lemak at Alor Gajah.
He loved the wet market there too.
He loved his cats. Big time. That would be his main concern every time he left the house.
He loved the outdoors.
He loved sports; tennis to be more precise.
He loved the TV and would hog it with his favourite channels.
He loved to read. He has every newspaper from the mainstream ones to the alternative media ones.
He loved KFC. He would treat us every Raya.
He loved family gatherings. Every once in a while, he would ask whose house was up next for a potluck. Every time he asked, we held one. He sure does have a great way of keeping us together.I am so glad I didn't go to any weddings on the 16th of January. It was your last birthday with us. You were so happy.
But he hated to stay in KL. He would stay 3 days. Tops.
He was one joker when he started talking, I tell you. He asked me when I was going to give him a cicit.
He loved my mom. She loved him the most.
He loved my late grandmother. So very much.
He joined her on June 14, 2010, 14 years after she left. 
He was 94.


You see, the thing is, I was never close to him. Not in the sense like those people who stay with their grandparents and their grandparents brought them up and all those things.
But when he was admitted to Gleneagles, I was at the office.
When my parents and sister went to see him there, I was still at the office.

On June 14, 2010, I managed to leave the office early. Unsuspecting. Full of hope.
Expecting, but unsuspecting.
He waited for me before he left.
I was there at his last breath. I was there.Just him, me and adik. He was sleeping. It was peaceful.
Alhamdulillah.

And the fact that I was never close to him seems to not matter anymore.
He waited for me.
Thank you Atuk, for waiting for me.
For giving me some kind of comfort in knowing that though you were very quiet and we never talked much about each other, you knew I was observing you all the while and that I love you. For being there. For loving my mom and most importantly, for waiting for me. For reassuring me that everything will be alright.

Though you didn't say so. I know that's why you waited for me. You and I now have an a bond which cannot be explained.




You lived a full and happy life, Atuk. Please know, wherever you are now, that you were loved, and still loved. No matter how silent you were, your presence always counted. It still counts.

That house will never be the same. But I hope that your memory will keep us together.

Al-Fatihah.


Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

Comments

Athena said…
awak, takziah. semoga dia ditempatkan dikalangan hamba-Nya yang beriman dan dijanjikan syurga.
Nina said…
Takziah Nisa... So sorry to hear about your loss.. May he rest in peach.
the Sojourner said…
my deepest condolences to you on your loss, hanisa. take care k, and God bless.
Haneesa said…
thank you, all.

he lived a full and happy life. thank you for your thoughts.
shueyshoelove said…
*cries* really exactly 14 years? true love. al-fatihah.
Melissa said…
I'm so sorry for your loss. My condolences Hanisa. Al-Fatihah.
Take care.
shazanafairuz said…
My deepest condolences Kakak.. my late Atok loved tennis too. during grand slams takde siapa boleh tukar channel. Sedih :(

you take care dear.

Al-Fatihah
Haneesa said…
thanks everyone for your thoughts. like i said, he lived a full, happy and loved life. thanks you for your prayers and pls keep on praying that he will be placed amongst those with iman. tq.

Popular Posts