i really do.

Let’s admit a fact – there are times when in a relationship, where we feel absolutely bleurgh. Correct me if I’m wrong, but to me at least, that’s one of the truest facts in a relationship that one knows. Much as difficult as it is to admit.

The first key is to admit the fact. That no matter how wonderful a relationship gets, there are times when we’re at the bottom of the wheel, feeling like we’re being run over, no matter how much we try to pick ourselves up. It shouldn’t upset us because it’s just how nature takes its course. If one fails to admit such fact, that’s when even wonderful relationships end in tearful parting ways.

The thing is, I used to be in denial as well. Thanks to an ex-boyfriend who doted me like a sun-worshipper, I thought that the world should revolve around me in a relationship. Not that it shouldn’t though – I do still think that it should, only in a less sickeningly-clingy way. Now, I have learnt that a relationship can be so perfect with the many imperfections that come with it.

He may not and may never dote me like a sun-worshipper. He might not open the door on the passenger seat to let me out. He has never bought me flowers and we have never had anniversary dinners for the past 5 years we have been together. And some people will think that I’ve perhaps become so immune to the fact that I will never get the kind of things “most other girls” have gotten, that I’ve become indifferent to it.

Well, maybe. I admit that maybe, I have become indifferent. But I also know that I know my man like no other person has known him before. It’s nice to know that. And I know it because he tells me how he feels and fills me in with details he never discloses to others. He seldom talks about his family and his feelings with other people and it fills me with absolute warmth when he tells them to me.

Tonight, it dawned on me more than ever. Today was the first time in months we got to spend a good night together out in town. It was amazing though it was just for a little while after we attended a wedding in Putrajaya. If there was one other person in the car with us, that person would have thought us crazy for finding joy in the smallest jokes me make out of the serious things we talk about. Yes, we are crazy like that.

I cannot explain how much I love this man. My man. And I love the fact that despite the things he doesn’t do, even a blind person can “see” the love he has for me. Because he listens, even when I am silent. In fact, it’s my silence that he listens to sometimes. He makes sure I’m happy and spends every free time he has on me, me and me. And the best part is that he loves me enough to trust me with his deepest darkest feelings.

God, I am so full of love tonight, this is mushy.

I love you :’) I really, really do.



Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

Comments

Melissa said…
Awww this is lovely ! So sweet. :)
Haneesa said…
thnks for finding this sweet dan tidak menggelikan Melissa!

mmg mushy super mushy on that saturday night and i just had to tulis! ;)

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