June 28, 2010

satu empat lima says.


It’s really easy for an outsider to deem us inefficient. Easy peasy. When a particular piece of document doesn’t come back to them after some time, they will start calling us, harassing us with all kinds of queries as to the status of their document. When did this practice begin, if I may ask?

As far as I am concerned, we are only responsible to give legal advice to the Government. We are not bound to entertain the public (companies especially) and they’re not supposed to directly deal with us. So, why is there now a practice of Companies calling Federal Counsels up asking for their documents and whether or not the vetting is done and what is the status etc. as if they were my boss? I clearly don’t work for them, do I?

When this happens, it’s very, very annoying. People out there think that we’re inefficient. People out there think that each and every waking hour is spent at Alamanda because we have nothing better to do. People out there assume that all we do is borak during office hours. It’s easy to assume and to accuse people in here when you’re out there isn’t it? And guess what? You’re not in here so it is a little bit unfair of you lot out there to think what you are thinking, don’t you think so?

Okay, fine. I’ll give credit to your predicament. It’s not that I don’t understand entirely. You’ve been to Government Agencies like Customs, Immigration and Pendaftaran before, obviously and just like I used to be, you are cynical. You are ready to find fault because that’s what we are all full of, right? Fault. But please, look at who you’re saying those things to. Maybe the frontliners are those with the least of education. Maybe they don’t treat you as you feel you should be treated but who are you again to be given such grandeur treatment for a salary which you can only buy peanuts with?

Please try to understand the pressure we’re facing. There are datelines and timelines, some kept, some broken. But not because we choose to be inefficient but because we too, are human. We need to eat, take a short nap, breathe, surf the net and have a good laugh. It’s easy to do the math when your equation is an easy equation. But if you put Audit into the equation, Focus Groups into the equation, File Management Committees into the equation, you can’t quite find the formula to make it all work for everyone. Much less make out something that will work for you.

I think the practice of outsiders calling us should stop, and it should stop, pronto. We are doing our level best to keep our heads off the chopping block and we don’t need a freakishly rich company to call us up frequently or at all like they own us. You’re not my boss. Please and thank you.



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June 27, 2010

i really do.

Let’s admit a fact – there are times when in a relationship, where we feel absolutely bleurgh. Correct me if I’m wrong, but to me at least, that’s one of the truest facts in a relationship that one knows. Much as difficult as it is to admit.

The first key is to admit the fact. That no matter how wonderful a relationship gets, there are times when we’re at the bottom of the wheel, feeling like we’re being run over, no matter how much we try to pick ourselves up. It shouldn’t upset us because it’s just how nature takes its course. If one fails to admit such fact, that’s when even wonderful relationships end in tearful parting ways.

The thing is, I used to be in denial as well. Thanks to an ex-boyfriend who doted me like a sun-worshipper, I thought that the world should revolve around me in a relationship. Not that it shouldn’t though – I do still think that it should, only in a less sickeningly-clingy way. Now, I have learnt that a relationship can be so perfect with the many imperfections that come with it.

He may not and may never dote me like a sun-worshipper. He might not open the door on the passenger seat to let me out. He has never bought me flowers and we have never had anniversary dinners for the past 5 years we have been together. And some people will think that I’ve perhaps become so immune to the fact that I will never get the kind of things “most other girls” have gotten, that I’ve become indifferent to it.

Well, maybe. I admit that maybe, I have become indifferent. But I also know that I know my man like no other person has known him before. It’s nice to know that. And I know it because he tells me how he feels and fills me in with details he never discloses to others. He seldom talks about his family and his feelings with other people and it fills me with absolute warmth when he tells them to me.

Tonight, it dawned on me more than ever. Today was the first time in months we got to spend a good night together out in town. It was amazing though it was just for a little while after we attended a wedding in Putrajaya. If there was one other person in the car with us, that person would have thought us crazy for finding joy in the smallest jokes me make out of the serious things we talk about. Yes, we are crazy like that.

I cannot explain how much I love this man. My man. And I love the fact that despite the things he doesn’t do, even a blind person can “see” the love he has for me. Because he listens, even when I am silent. In fact, it’s my silence that he listens to sometimes. He makes sure I’m happy and spends every free time he has on me, me and me. And the best part is that he loves me enough to trust me with his deepest darkest feelings.

God, I am so full of love tonight, this is mushy.

I love you :’) I really, really do.



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June 25, 2010

Oh really?

Bagi kamu, adakah saya seorang yang sombong? Bagi saya, saya tak sombong. Cuma, I tend to be a little bit reserved dengan orang yang tak dikenali. So, saya tak sombong. Tapi saya juga akui, saya tak seramah mana. Lagi-lagi kalau orang yang baru kenal tu over sikit, lagi la rasa macam nak… tsk, how shall I put this… rasa nak pelangkung.

Tapi, once you get to know me, you’d know that I’m okay. Really, I am. Kalau saya tak okay, takkanlah saya ada kawan-kawan yang dah kawan dengan saya sejak 13 tahun lalu masih berkawan dengan saya dan kawan-kawan dari 7 tahun yang lalu yang masih berkawan dengan saya. Paling best ialah, I have been in a relationship with the same person for 5+ years now. I can’t be that bad, kan?

Tapi, like I said, if I don’t know you, I will be super duper reserved. Nak buat macam mana. Sudah pasti conscious dan cautious dengan orang tak dikenali. Anything can happen.

So, jika you’re my friend on FB, you’d notice that I seldom update my FB. Jika ada weddings or engagements or outings with my cousins (yang juga berlaku sekali sekala) maka saya akan mula update gambar dengan banyak upon request. The thing about owning a DSLR is that orang lain refuse to ambil gambar and so you end up being the one taking and uploading photos. No biggie about that, as long as I’m in it as well.

Okay, FB. Kamu tak rasa ke kadang-kadang FB adalah annoying? Annoying bukan? Pasti ramai yang cakap, kalau dah annoyed sangat, apa kata deactivate saja account tu. Hmmph. Look, I need to keep in touch with my friends. By the look of things, our YahooGroups and all else have long been abandoned, jadi FB saja la penyelamat. Nak tahu events, circulate message dan juga minta/beri alamat untuk hantar kad kahwin. So, no. Deleting FB is not part of the plan.

So, walaupun FB boleh jadi super annoying sometimes, lagi lagi dengan orang yang tak faham bahasa bahawa FB is FB, Twitter is Twitter dan update status setiap 20 saat macam tu, which makes it 3 updates in a minute, on average tentang setiap perkara yang dilakukan e.g. “(1) keluarkan ikan dari frigde (2) lumur ikan dengan kunyit dan garam (3) sekarang sedang goreng ikan dan suami sangat suka”, I just ignore it as much as I can and go on with my FB life as usual. And paling penting CONTROL the things people view and the things I view. If it’s something I don’t mind everyone reading, I’ll change the privacy settings. Jika I don’t like something I see, I just remove that person. Simple kan.

Likewise dengan Friends List. I control the people who become my “friends”. There are some people I have known since 13 yang tak pernah bercakap sepatah pun with me, either in person or virtually since we left school back in 2002. Itu pun, I have second thoughts on adding them as a friend. So, if a stranger adds me up and the profile picture of that “person” is a guitar, camera, fish or some rock star etc., rasanya, wajar tak saya add dia? Dah sure la tak, betul tak? Takkan la nak add some random person or simply add a friend suggested by another person. Like WHAT’S THE POINT??? Apa motive orang add orang lain (yang tak dikenali) on FB pun to begin with?

But, if before adding me, that someone gives like a small message “The guy you met at Wangsa Walk”, I’m not that cruel sampai tahap tak tanya langsung dia siapa. I will just ask, “Really? Which one eh? I tak ingat

And then, bila dah tak reti nak menjawab, ada hati nak jawab macam ni?


Hey, mister. Not all friends are bad. But there are some friends can be a real pain in the backside. So, to me, all strangers are strangers. I prefer it that way rather than having to do damage control later when some stranger knows things about me, which I never intended them to know to begin with.

Just for the record, I’ve only been to Wangsa Walk once. And the only guy I met was Agus, Lynn’s fiancĂ©e. So, tell me if this Uri guy is freaky or not.


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June 24, 2010

world cup season.

My dad and world cup season would sound like this:

Adik: Akak, we are going to KFC. What do you want?

Me: Snack plate as usual, tq.

After dinner (everyday):

Ba: Harini siapa buat dishes?

Me: Adik.

Adik: Hmmpph.

Me: Akak simpan food and lap meja.

Ba: Now, mama takda reason untuk tak stay up with me sebab Babah dah beli dinner pastu her girls dah buat dishes. She has no reason to say she's tired.

And trust me, he buys dinner as much as he can so that my mom will watch football with him.

Yesterday, he cooked dinner. I repeat. Cooked! With my sister. 

And we do the dishes. As always.

Haih, men and football. They'd do anything!


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June 22, 2010

i'm out of this game.

Thought it was too minute a detail to notice. But good friends will always be good friends. You can be miles apart and still, they can tell what your heart is thinking.

I'm out of this competition.

I'm too old to compete.

Wait. 

I'm too matured to compete.

I don't want to play this game because it isn't one.

It's my life and as much as I have changed (for the better), I am true to myself.

And guess what? Some other people don't change.

Play your own game. In your own way. I'm out of this competition.

It was never one to begin with :)


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it is ironic.

If life can be summed up in one word, it would be – I R O N I C.

Oh, yes. It is ironic in so many ways. The only thing that sets us apart from each other is whether or not we make a scene and blow the ironicism(?!) out of proportion, or we stay calm, breathe and think of the fact that everything happens for a reason.

I’d very much like to do both, to be honest. But. Oh, well.

The most ironic thing happened thing to me beginning last week. I lost 2 kilos. Yes, 2 freaking kilos and you’d think I’d be ecstatic. I mean, I am (or more like was??) ecstatic, until a lot of people told me I “gained” weight. Not that it’s an entirely bad thing especially that I used to be so sekerempeng. Now, at least, I’ve got some flesh going on here there and everywhere. I finally look “normal”. But the fact still remains that it’s a tad bit ironic – I lost weight and here I am having to breathe in everytime I put my jeans on. Tsk.

Yesterday, I received a piece of news which makes me want to bang my head on the wall. It’s ironic how a girl who follows everything her parents say is getting herself into so much trouble for listening. I’m just not used to not consulting them on important things, you see. Their opinion, to me is pivotal to my well-being. But it doesn’t always work in my favour, you see. It’s ironic. It really, really is.

This morning, the most ironic thing happened, AGAIN. I woke up for sahur. Wow, that’s a record, I’m telling you. Mornings have been the worst hours for me of late. I can’t even hear my alarm go off at 6 so it was somewhat amazing that I managed to actually wake up at 5 a.m. something something. If I make it through today, I’d have 3 days left, Alhamdulillah. Well, anyways, the ironic thing is that I woke up so early, I managed to clear my cupboard and even change my bedsheets. And then, I got in the car, ignited the engine and got moving. It was only 6.45 a.m. And then, I heard this really weird sound coming from beneath my car. So, I stopped, called my dad (luckily I was still so close to home) and he came down and told me that my tire was punctured.

So much for waking up early, I arrived at work 45 minutes later than my punch in time.

So, you see. Kita selalu merancang. Allah yang menentukan. I don’t know what the reasons are and frankly, don’t mind if I never find out. All I hope for is to always be protected from whatever harm that comes my way, that I will always stay calm even when I know I am on the brink of insanity and the strength to keep on going no matter how much I am tested.

Life is ironic, don’t you think?


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June 21, 2010

jum cari "bini"


It’s been a while since I last treated myself to something. And trust me, I have been working very hard to earn my keep. So, I treated myself to a round of (window) shopping yesterday. Well, actually, I was out on a mission to find a beanie (yes, not bini). Yes, of all things – a beanie. Because someone out there seems to think the world of it and since that makes him happy (plus I’ve come around to trusting his taste), I’m more than happy to go scout for one.

Plus, it’s always nice to dream that he’ll take me to a cold place one fine day (pretty pleassse!).

Thing is, I found a lot of them yesterday, and I wasn’t even fickly about them. I liked most of the things I saw but I still had one problem. Okay, make that many problems.



They were all on other peoples’ heads.
(I will never be as cute as this if I ever find my beanie, of course)

And it was annoying me to the core! The last one I saw was in cream-ish and it was on this kid’s head and I was *this* close to walking up to her to ask her where she got hers, before I realised how freaked out I would be if someone else did that to me. So, I bit my tongue and walked on as if I didn’t see it.

So, please. If you happen to see/find a beanie, please do tell me. Preferably one in off white/cream. And please, don’t recommend the one at Forever 21. I do not want to be responsible for cutting its ball off. Ooops.





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June 18, 2010

love will keep us alive.

Baiklah, I am back.

Selesai sudah tahlil 3 hari, Alhamdulillah. Ketiga-tiga hari food Atuk paling favourite dalam dunia was served. No, bukan ketam ye. Habislah gigi tok imam kalau serve ketam. Ikan sembilang masak macam-macam was served. Goreng, masak lemak cili api (with mangga), sambal. In loving memory of him.

Masakan Negeri Sembilan authentic memang paling awesome, I tell you. Sedap, sedap, sedap! Tapi saya tak lupa Kedah roots saya. Nasi ganja (bukan ada ganja pun, jangan salah faham) sana memang tak boleh lawan. Laksa Kuala Kedah lagi tak ada tandingan. Paling tak boleh lawan adalah milo panas and mee goreng arwah nenek. Balik Kedah memang akan naik badan sampai 2, 3 kilo. Alhamdulillah.

Apa perasaan tak ada grandparents ye? Now, I know what it feels like. I no longer have any grandparents. Cuma ada aunties and uncles. And cousins tersayang. Perasaan tiada grandparents ialah perasaan risau. Risau that our family will never be the same. Siapa yang akan balik ke rumah itu kalau Atuk takda? Will we still have Hari Raya together? Or will the past all be forgotten together with their passing?

As the eldest (girl) in the whole G (Atuk's name) clan, I am worried that we will no longer be as tight. I always worry. Yes, sayangs. Kakak Neesa is very garang, but I love it when we are together. As much as I complain that kids nowadays tak reti duduk diam, asyik main game, too loud and no manners, I still love it when you are all there. I love it when you all find joy in making fun of me and the fact that I find it amusing as well. I love it when one of the cousins just suddenly comes to me and sits on my lap and then kisses me on the cheek. I love it when the little ones give me hugs before they leave for home.

I love it when they all mintak kasut and this and that and show me the things they bought from their shopping trips. I love it how thoughtful my girlie cousins can be and how much we depend on each other. And more than anything, I'm still amused at the fact that my elder and sebaya guy cousins still find me intimidating. Aku kan Kakak.

In times to come, will you all still come menyendeng at me and sit next to me, give me a peck on the cheek and sleep on my lap? Will you still find joy in making fun of me. Will you still run to me when you cry? Will you remember that no matter how garang I am, I love you all so much. Too much sometimes.


Let's remain as we are and become better. Let's make that promise now, shall we? Kerana air dicincang tak akan putus. Walaupun kadang-kadang kena tutup paip sekejap (bila tengah argue and ada misunderstandings). Let's keep the laughter going, let's let the sleepovers continue. Let love keep us alive.

Baiklah, end of emo post. Sekian terima kasih.


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June 16, 2010

sembilan puluh empat.

He loved crabs. LOVED them.
He loved that city - Tampin; that place people didn't even know existed on the face of the earth.
He loved soto ayam nasi at Alor Gajah. My few last memories with him was when he ate my nasi lemak at Alor Gajah.
He loved the wet market there too.
He loved his cats. Big time. That would be his main concern every time he left the house.
He loved the outdoors.
He loved sports; tennis to be more precise.
He loved the TV and would hog it with his favourite channels.
He loved to read. He has every newspaper from the mainstream ones to the alternative media ones.
He loved KFC. He would treat us every Raya.
He loved family gatherings. Every once in a while, he would ask whose house was up next for a potluck. Every time he asked, we held one. He sure does have a great way of keeping us together.I am so glad I didn't go to any weddings on the 16th of January. It was your last birthday with us. You were so happy.
But he hated to stay in KL. He would stay 3 days. Tops.
He was one joker when he started talking, I tell you. He asked me when I was going to give him a cicit.
He loved my mom. She loved him the most.
He loved my late grandmother. So very much.
He joined her on June 14, 2010, 14 years after she left. 
He was 94.


You see, the thing is, I was never close to him. Not in the sense like those people who stay with their grandparents and their grandparents brought them up and all those things.
But when he was admitted to Gleneagles, I was at the office.
When my parents and sister went to see him there, I was still at the office.

On June 14, 2010, I managed to leave the office early. Unsuspecting. Full of hope.
Expecting, but unsuspecting.
He waited for me before he left.
I was there at his last breath. I was there.Just him, me and adik. He was sleeping. It was peaceful.
Alhamdulillah.

And the fact that I was never close to him seems to not matter anymore.
He waited for me.
Thank you Atuk, for waiting for me.
For giving me some kind of comfort in knowing that though you were very quiet and we never talked much about each other, you knew I was observing you all the while and that I love you. For being there. For loving my mom and most importantly, for waiting for me. For reassuring me that everything will be alright.

Though you didn't say so. I know that's why you waited for me. You and I now have an a bond which cannot be explained.




You lived a full and happy life, Atuk. Please know, wherever you are now, that you were loved, and still loved. No matter how silent you were, your presence always counted. It still counts.

That house will never be the same. But I hope that your memory will keep us together.

Al-Fatihah.


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June 10, 2010

if it were up to me...

I deserve a new pair of wedges.

I deserve a new handphone.

I deserve a speedlight/flash unit.

I deserve for my siblings to be home. Quick.

I deserve to go out with my cousins.

I don't deserve to be so stressed out unnecessarily.

I deserve to be appreciated.

I'm so stoned now. Bye.

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June 09, 2010

Super special Sunday.

After what seemed like forever, we finally reached Taman Melawis. If I counted correctly, we got lost 3 times. 3 times, I tell you! But because Taman Melawis is special, we decided to find it. No matter what.

You have no idea how relieved I was to see the blue and white scallops on the canopies. Still, we were not very convinced. That’s until we saw a lot (and I mean A LOT) of men clad in white kurta (it’s called kurta right? sorry if I got it wrong) in the area.

And to be very honest, we felt very out of place in the beginning.

But the moment we entered the house and saw Saify and Nafisa, we began to be more at ease. Most of them were in a lengga in every colour imaginable. In contrast with most Malay engagements and weddings, this engagement was very, very meriah (colour-wise)!


We were all sitting down when she came! The special girl came out! And her lengga was the prettiest. She looked so pretty! And so different too, since she’s always clad in t-shirt and jeans.


After that, there were some ceremonies which we have never seen before. Normally, in Malay engagements, there would be some discussions and pantun and what not. But not this one. This engagement mostly revolved around gathering of friends and family, offerings of sweets and exchange of rings. I got the best shot. To me at least ;)


And then, came the best part – the food. If you’re my friend on FB, you’d know by now how awesome the food was on that day. The moment we ate the chicken and mutton, all the getting lost bit was forgotten. I had 2 rounds! (first time at any engagement, I tell you).


And by the end of it all, we were all happy and full and so very happy for our dear Batul who is (soon) joining the rest of the "I'm Married" clan! Congratulations!



Thanks for having us over dear! And thank you so much to Batul’s family for making us feel at ease although it was obvious that we were so out of place. Their warmth and kindness is something Batul can surely shout out about. Uncle Sabbir now knows my name. Best part of the day ;)

P.S: Batul, you are excused for the "directions" you gave us because it was a super special Sunday! ;p

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June 08, 2010

Musim

I have never attended so many weddings in my lifetime. It’s musim, people say. And I’m more than glad to see my friends tie the knot. Thanks so much for those who invited me to share their special day.

30.05.2010
Aizamiya my classmate.

On that particular day, my dad asked me whether I had any plans and I said I didn’t. I remember that that was the long weekend and I had just baked so many things that no one wanted to eat and I was dying to get out of the house. And then, Mamita messaged me, I think and it snapped! Ding ding! No wonder the date looked familiar! I was supposed to attend Aizam’s wedding. And I was the one who told her that she was allowed to throw a bomb over my house if I didn’t attend (sangat dekat okay! lain kali ada wedding dekat Dewan Komuniti, buzz me, it’s so near my place. if you’re lucky, ada brownies supply in the fridge. paling busuk pon ada ice cream pelbagai flavour since Mama can be quite a hoarder where ice cream is concerned). OOPS. Okay, back to the real story.

So, we went to the wedding and Aizam looked STUNNING! She was clad in pink and her make up was amazing! The best part was seeing her wide, wide smile the moment she saw me heading towards the dais to take her photo.


I gathered that the theme was Moroccan-ish. Seriously, it was very, very beautiful. Everything was. I especially like the cake cutting ceremony which was done in the dome-like structure! Unique!


And after Aizamiya’s, these people (newlyweds not included of course) came over to my house for a round (or 2 or 3) of brownies and ice cream. Rugi siapa tak datang. Jaja was the luckiest – she got more to take back to Malacca.




05.06.2010
Zaza and  Hashley:

I follow her blog and because bloggers sort of “get” other bloggers although we don't know each other much, it was exciting to see her getting married to the (long time) love of her life – Hash. And from her wedding updates, she did mention that her home reception outfit was a little bit vintage and she was right! Clad in grey with her hair up in tiara, she certainly did look a little bit like Audrey Hepburn ;)

Thank you so much for sharing your special day with us.

And here’s an artistic shot by Nadnad.


What were you trying to shoot, again?

And here, the nicest photo of the day after about 10 (shaky) attempts.



Wah, semua DAH kahwin! Congratulations, kawan-kawan :)



Thank you so much again for sharing your special day with us!




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SYMP.

I have been doing that all my life.

But Alhamdulillah, dengan menurut segala perintah, rezeki saya jadi murah; pintu rezeki, pintu hati dan pintu doa sentiasa terbuka untuk saya. Tak cukup dengan cakap Alhamdulillah saja, I know. Kesyukuran saya tinggi yang teramat, sampai tak tahu nak panjatkan kesyukuran macam mana lagi dah. Mungkin sujud syukur sekejap lagi.

At this point in time, despite everything, I feel like crying. Sebab terharu. Because despite everything, pintu rezeki dan pintu doa itu masih terbuka. Dilembutkan hati-hati orang di sekeliling saya kerana saya jujur menyatakan kerisauan saya. Semua kerana saya telah menurut perintah. As I have done all my life.

Last Friday Nadnad and I were talking about compromises. Iye, dalam pada kegilaan kami, we talk about serious stuff as well. She told me that if I know I cannot compromise where certain things are concerned, I should say so. I should put my foot down and go for it. And that I should do it fast. And heeding her advice, I went for it.

And I found that by dilly dallying (kerana menurut perintah) all this while, I have put myself in a compromising position. I don’t know how to put into words what I felt. How could I put myself in the most compromising position, EVER, when in the very first place, I was the one who so staunchly said that I wouldn’t?

I was so angry, I felt like pointing my finger at everyone else. I wanted to find fault in everyone around me because I KNEW it wasn’t my fault. I just wanted to shout to everyone, “WHY DON’T YOU CARE ENOUGH TO LISTEN?” But I didn’t. I knew that I shouldn’t. Dosa buat begitu.

So, I just went on with my life and did what I could – whether or not I compromised is a different matter altogether. And because saya menurut perintah, everything is back on track, Alhamdulillah. Pintu rezeki tidak tertutup untuk orang yang bersabar dan terus berdoa.

I know now that though many people have the best intentions, they may not exactly know what’s best for us. Saya tetap menurut perintah seperti biasa, but from this point onwards, I’m going to move in my own way.

Dan walaupun setiap surat yang keluar dari office ini menyatakan “Saya Yang Menurut Perintah”, this is not about work.

P.S: happier updates are on the way. tunggu ye? :)


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June 06, 2010

(mis) interpretations.

Today, I woke up thinking of how I should interpret someone else's piece of mind. It has become increasingly easy to misinterpret an opinion and to become so unnecessarily offended. Especially when you know that the most part of the other person's thought might just be true. The truth is, no one likes to hear the truth. The first root of all problems.

If we don't keep our heads level, we are bound to blow things out of proportion, no? If we don't want to admit our wrongs, we're bound to lash out and push the ball back into the other person's court and put all the blame on them, no?

So, I decided to keep my head up and think. I knew I had to think hard and deep. And go to the very root of the problem so that I don't end up not admitting my mistake AND lashing back, when it was obvious that there was only one reason to it.

And it worked. It resolved. Sort of, anyways.

For some, it may seem like I "swept the entire thing" under the carpet. Like I didn't deal with it. But truth is, in my eyes, I dealt with it. That IS the way I deal with it. So I appreciate if people didn't tell me that it's wrong, because one man's poison is another's cure, vice versa.

On another note, I had a sweet albeit relatively naughty urge today. I thought, "it would be so nice if...".

All in good time.

And no one was meant to understand this post, really. Because it doesn't actually relate to anything that you know, or don't know.

And believe it or not, I actually had a good day :) A very, very good one.

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

June 04, 2010

10 in the afternoon.


Today I feel a degree of fatigue which cannot be named on the scale of one to ten. This week has been so awfully tiring that all I want to do right now is have an hourly countdown to 10 p.m. (yes, 10 p.m.) because that would mark the end of my working week (for this week at least).

And the one day I am free during lunch (today) is the day I find myself all alone on 10th floor. Everyone had left by the time I was finished with my assignment and was ready to go out. And though I did say going out alone is okay, this particular day, I just wanted to talk to someone during lunch. I have been so deprived of conversations and human contact of any kind – I don’t even talk with Mama that much anymore when I get back from work (because she’d be asleep already).

And just when I thought, “its okay, you’ll be fine alone”, I met Nadnad at the Concourse! She didn’t have any plans either, so we ended up being each other’s lunch date. Hahaha. Such good luck! We ended up eating Burger King and lots of juicy stories for lunch. Super, super nice ;)

Anyways, now I’m back in the office, waiting for my boss to get back. I really, really, REALLY hope that I won’t need to stay back (again) today. Can you sense the degree of my hopes in this sentence that I am now writing?

I’m so blurred about my plans this weekend. It’s my cousin’s bertandang in Kodiang, Kedah, but word has it that we’ve got more than enough people on the rombongan’s list. Don’t know if we’re part of it as well. I hope we don’t make a day trip (as planned) because it would be so tiring! Plus, this weekend, there’s going to be something special ♥ ;).


There are 2 more hours to 5 p.m. But I’m counting on my work to end at 10 p.m. (yes, waiting with bated breath til 10 p.m.). So, wish me luck for the next 7 hours!





Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

June 02, 2010

you asked for it.

Here’s a random fast fact about me –

I’m a morning person, yet that’s the time of the day when I’m in the least of moods. I’m not moody; I’m just lazy(ier) to socialize at this time of the day. Ironic isn’t it?

I don’t appreciate people barging into my room at wee hours of the morning.
I don’t appreciate people disturbing my momentum when I’m getting ready to go to work.
I don’t appreciate people disrupting my train of thought and the reading that I do best in the morning.

I don't even appreciate small talk. A smile is all you'd get from me at this hour.

The only 3 people who can disrupt, disturb and barge are Ma, Babah and Abdul.

Well, Love is the exception to the general rule.

Which is why – it ticks me off when other people barge into my room so early in the morning, just to whine (ini memang aku paling tak tahan dalam dunia) about something which had to inevitably happen, which I, the least of all the people in this world, have control over.

Give me a break.

It’s only 7.30 a.m. The complaints can wait until later. As it should be.


Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

June 01, 2010

dua puluh empat.

I’m always thankful for the people I have in my life, for many, many reasons. And one of the major reasons is how enlightened I get sometimes with their theories and ideas. Even if they are mere theories. I like to hear them out. (even if I make fun of them sometimes).

For example, when my brother called me last night, he excitedly told me about his new “toy” which was just safely delivered to his doorstep. So, I told him how lucky he was to get so much scholarship money, which he could spend on those things. He told me that he thought he deserved it since he was working part time distributing catalogues from house to house.

So, I told him how lucky he was to have so much time because when I was a student, I never had such luxury. All I did was study. Part time work wasn’t really in the picture for me (unless it was the semester break).

And then, came his theory:

In a day, everyone is granted 24 hours.
Out of 24 hours, 8 hours are used up for sleeping.
That leaves us with 16 hours left. 16 hours is a lot of time, come to think of it.
If you have classes, the most classes will take out from your day is about 5 hours. Sometimes, it only takes up 2 hours.
That leaves us with 11 hours/13 hours left, as the case may be.
And come to think of it, 11/13 hours is actually about more or less half a day left to us to do whatever we want to do. And more often than not, we don't know what happened to all that time.

So, he figured, even though he had a lot on his plate to do (assignments, projects and conventions to handle), rather than him (theoretically) having so much (unwisely spent) time, he had better get his bum up and start using that time, so that he actually knows where 24 hours of his day went to.

I was left in complete awe. I don’t even sleep for 8 hours and I still feel like I don’t have enough time in a day. Our complains of "not having enough time" all seems silly when we put it the way he puts it, don’t you think so? Why do I have such smart siblings again?

I think I may have to open a Book like the one in Excel to keep track of my time “expenditure”.

Maybe you should start too, ey?




Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)