this goes out to you.

Has it been that long already?

Yes, apparently it has been almost 5 days since my last update. Fah spent the entire week at my place since I had to stay home alone and the rest of the girls came to join the mini sleepover later during the week. Well, I still had to go to work, of course. And I feel so sorry for not being able to spend more time with them, but I couldn’t help but feel so super knackered (especially on Thursday night) and up until today, I feel a little bad for not going out for supper with them like I said I would. I am so sorry!

But we sure did have a lot of fun on Friday, didn’t we girls?

If there is one thing I surely get from my cousins when we have mini sleepovers like this, it would be youth. Yes, of course, I am still a youth by definition, but with all the things going on in my life, it becomes increasingly difficult to enjoy life as it is. And sometimes, no one and nothing else is the source of your misery apart from yourself. Tricky, huh? Yes, very.


finally got the photos from Na. Tq awak!

My cousins are by far some of the most addictive people on earth. It’s difficult to stifle laughs or to resist going crazy because they have insurmountable amounts of energy and go loco just about all the time over every little thing! But beneath all that, there is a depth that not many people know.

We had a little talk about family and life on Friday and came to the conclusion that there is always something lacking in our lives, like it or not. Finding a balance is difficult, but it isn’t impossible. We try as much as we can.

We also talked about Atuk’s passing and how it has changed us. In the end, we are just glad that all of us have made commendable efforts so far in keeping us (cousins at least) together as much as we possibly can.

We also then talked about the hijab.

For some inexplicable reason, Na (youngest of the pack) consulted me when she thought of wearing the hijab. Of course, I was flattered when she turned to me for advice, but I still think of it as a little ironic, seeing that I don’t wear it myself.

It’s not that I’ve never thought of wearing it before and trust me, my mom reminds me constantly that it is wajib. But like me, she wants me to be ready. Really ready.

To my parents, prayers (solat 5 waktu) is the most important amalan I must observe. If I don’t pray, I get it from my dad and I get it really bad. If I wear something too revealing, I am asked to change my clothes immediately. But they don’t bug me about the hijab as much because to them, piety should come from within, not the other way round.

After several consultations (yes Na, I keep tabs, I’ll charge it on Daddy’s account ;p), Na made a decision and took that bold step. I think she made the best decision because at such a young age, people have no reason to judge, hate you or talk in the adverse about you and eventually, people come to love and accept you just because. It has not changed us one bit in terms of our relationship. In fact, I think in a lot of ways, it has made our bonds stronger.

Because we know that no matter what happens, we always find a way to make it all better for us and that the bottom line is love. And with love, comes acceptance.


And just like that, Na got the ball rolling. One by one, we are thinking of donning the hijab now. It has become so accessible and stylish, while at the same time decent that sometimes, I feel ashamed for being so afraid of not being ready.

I stopped at every shop I possibly could at Jalan TAR yesterday and if money were not the issue, I think I would have borong-ed all that I could. So that when the time comes, I would be properly prepared. Decency is definitely not boring. The world has proven that.

Na inspired me to be brave and insyaAllah, the time will come for me as well. Hopefully soon.

By the way, we love StyledCovered and Disuatu Pencarian. Great ideas.

Na just proved to me that wisdom doesn't always come with age. Tested and proven.

Now, Na, please email me the pictures in your phone. Peace, love you ;)




Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

Comments

Helination said…
yes ! stylecovered is amazing kan kak? my sis in law just shared me the link about last few weeks. tabik spring to the designer :)
Haneesa said…
stylecovered mmg super amazing! sangat sangat inspiring!

tho, i must say that some of the styles tak sesuai for me, personally. maybe sebab tak secantik hana tajima tu. hahaha.

but all in all, i think designers are doing a good job of making us feel that decency need not be boring :)
Anonymous said…
salam...
hi...saye pon baru berhijrah pakai hijab...dah 3 bulan..heee!!
to tell u the truth...i have zero regret..bile dulu rase nk pakai tu ini..bile hati dah bersedia and terbuka...wah...tgk org pakai seksi pon dah tak kesah...bcoz hijabis pon ade community die..betolla ur mom ckp..pakai bile u betol2 ready...hee...
Haneesa said…
wsalam,

congratulations on taking that bold step! i m sure when my time comes nanti, i will have no regrets jugak.

and you're right, hijabis have a very strong community as well, and so, there is no reason to feel out of place.

:)

congrats again on making a great decision :)

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