Previously, I wasn’t too keen on admitting how much of a magnet Abdul is. Seriously. It’s either he flirts too much, or he’s just friendly, or he just treats people (read: girls) well, that they seem to get the wrong idea. Or maybe, he’s just him.
Thing is, I know he doesn’t mean anything when he does the things he does. Like when he says “If you need anything, please let me know.” Or “If you need to talk, I’m there.” I think he means literally what he says, nothing more. It doesn’t mean he fancies you or that he likes you.
It’s just that when girls start confiding in someone, start running to another guy, other than her partner or her other girl friends, it does really make the other guy somewhat different, if not special.
And when he says the things he says, girls do really run to him for the simplest of things like “I baru break” or “Hye, I’m in Penang, let’s meet up.” Or “I nak beli something. Nak beli yang mana eh?” Or “Cantik tak this and that yang I beli?” And of course, this upsets me. Like, really. I always ask, “PERLUKAH?” does it really need to be my boyfriend? Orang lain takde ke?
And then, there are those who like to take a walk down memory lane. Blind dates, dates, flings, whatever. My boyfriend was a serial dater. He perhaps still is a serial flirt, but Allah, please show me the light if he goes overboard. Either you strike him with lightning, or strike me, whichever is best.
And of course, there are those who are oblivious to the fact that he has a girlfriend. You can scream and shout and even hire a jet plane to paint the clouds so that the entire world knows that you’re his girlfriend, yet they don’t really care anyways. Pictures and statuses in FB and FS don’t mean anything to them.
And most of those who do these things are those younger than myself; 19, 20 year olds. But then again, even his exes run back to him to tell him things. And they are older than myself. He’s just a figure they can’t seem to do without, I guess.
I’m not so old, of course, but it does make a difference being with a much younger girl, rather than just a young girl, right? But then again, exes have a different kind of power altogether (I know, I'm one myself), young or old. There are just some memories which belong to them and them only...
So, all I have left of me is myself and my personality. I don’t belong to the drop-dead-gorgeous group and I’m not trendy or fashionable. Just like him, I’m just me.
Take me as I am, as I’m in no position to fight anymore. Not with any 18, 19 or 20 year old. Or whoever, for the matter.
Because, I believe that if something is rightfully mine, why fight?