the stars they claim to be.

Guess where I am at?

Back in Putrajaya of course! Chomping on my roti kaya, my current obsession (we’ll talk about that in a separate post) while sipping on my drink, while looking at my blank New Document. And wondering whether or not I should write about my experience staying in Pulai Springs.

I think I should. For the benefit of all.

My stay began with me waiting for my room keys. I was assigned to a room with 2 of my other good friends and we were all told that check in time would be at 3. I came with the office bus, and so I had the power to determine the stops we were to make, to make sure that we all arrived at 3, so that everyone would get their rooms immediately upon touchdown.

I finally got my room at 6.30 p.m..

Goes to show that you may not necessarily be given your room as promised though you have booked. So, the next time you plan to stay at Pulai Springs, please don’t make any plans to go to places of interest (like JPO, for example) on the day of arrival. It might be a while before you will actually be given your room keys to enjoy the comfort of your room.

Comfort of my room?

My arrival began with my toilet visits. Forgive my indiscretion but seriously, dude, don’t question a pregnant woman’s toilet habits. This lil’ Boss inside me is getting heavier, it presses on my you know where, I might as well be living in the toilet. Ahahaha. So, after many toilet visits to the public hotel rest rooms, I finally got my own toilet in my apartment. Bliss. After my business is done, I take the hose off the hook. And guess what happens when I try to hook it back on?

The hook is stuck to the hose. =.="

But because I was given an apartment with 2 of my good friends, I was in good spirits and thought nothing of it. After all, it was time to get ready for the dinner.

We call for housekeeping. We all needed an iron. And badly. They said, press 1 for all types of room services. So I pressed 1.

No response. In fact, it actually sounded like the phone was not hooked on properly so it was either engaged or out of service all the time. We all ended up wearing un-ironed shirts to the dinner. I know the itinerary said “smart casual” and it was a BBQ dinner, so we didn’t really have to dress to our nines, but it didn’t mean we had to look like cowboys who slept on a horse all week long. But we did. And we went to dinner with hopeful stomachs, because word has it that their food is great.

It was o-kay. Just okay. Nothing to shout out about. And so few choices! And for breakfast, the most important meal of the day, I found myself utterly disappointed. No pastries, no croissants, a very peasant choice of breads and well, basically pretty much the same thing every single day, with nothing much to look forward to, to begin with. I was floored. I was seriously thinking of croissants and good bread when I thought of hotels and I was met with none! Huh! And though they did serve Laksa Johor one time for lunch, I can say with conviction that Pulai Springs failed to make Johor proud. Big time.

The only thing I loved about all the meals was the salad bar, which served yummy cherry tomatoes.

And there are a myriad of other bad reviews about a myriad of other things, but... since they didn’t happen directly to me, I am not really in the position to say anything.

All I can say is that for a hotel which claims to be a 5-star hotel, Pulai Springs disappoints.

So, if you have a party of 200 or so, don’t even consider staying there. I don’t think they are used to catering to such big parties. As such, they are not very accommodating and they siphon money out of you, refuse to cooperate to give you the best deals and they basically don’t help you to make the things you have in mind happen the way you want them to happen.

I was thinking, if the food was great, it would have at least shut us up a lil’, but the food wasn’t great. So, we can’t and won’t shut up. Because it was supposed to be an office getaway, but it ended up stressing us more. Which I’m sure wasn’t what we had in mind.

So, hello Putrajaya! I’m back. Home feels so much more 5-star than that hotel which claims to be 5-star.

Now, let’s Google some good hotel which serves good breakfast. Suggestions, please, if any?

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Done!

I had an aim to achieve something before the year ends.

And that was to get everything on my table at work done and filed. Yes, EVERYTHING. No matter how silly and unreasonable that seemed. And though that aim came with 3 very stressful weeks, which caused the tanduk setan in me to come out of places I never knew I had them, I am free of my pending work! Free as a bird! Shhhh. It’s sort of like a secret. Please don’t tell anyone if you know where I work. I really want it to stay that way, at least until the end of this year. And that’s just about 28 days away. I SO deserve this break! Phew!

Well, lately, I really haven’t had anything interesting to update on, actually. Like I said, I have been slogging at work. I didn’t read the newspapers, alternative blogs, other blogs or anything at all. I haven’t even been listening to any music. It’s all been about work, work and work. Good God. What has become of my life?

And of course, there’s been lil’ Bubbles, who has been constantly kicking with glee, come 6.30 p.m., when the Daddy tells me to come home. Hmm... Getting more and more demanding everyday! Constantly reminding me who’s the Boss. Haha.

Other than that, my life has been pretty uneventful. Dull. Uninformative. Stressful. Bleak. As bleak as the weather has been of late.

But all that is about to change tomorrow (hopefully!). For the first time, I am really looking forward to an office getaway. Albeit for work, I really hope that the good hotel food and crazy company will keep me happy.

Hello, Pulai Springs! Goodbye Putrajaya.

Will be back with photos, should I find the time to take them ;)

Theodore’s in (more like really dying!) for some tender loving care, oh yes ;)

Meanwhile, watch this space for me, will you?

Be back soon. Much, much love!

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babykicks.

Year End.

It’s one of the most celebrated time of year (what with the festivities and sales and whatnot) and also ironically, one of the most dreaded. For me at least. I’m not entirely free from my “in” tray yet but today, I’m just going to take a lil’ breather. Just a lil’ one.

People say that the best stage of pregnancy is the second trimester. And I AGREE wholeheartedly! Though I didn’t quite have a textbook pregnancy where my vomiting stopped at 12 or 16 weeks, but rather, at the 19th going into the 20th week, my headaches subsided bit by bit by bit and I found that it became increasingly easy to do my work because my mind was not swimming in a bowl of confused mush.

And with a clearer head, came better quality in work and a happier me! Because by now, you should know how much I love working, right?

Well, anyways, the highlight of the past 3 weeks or so was the very, very first kick! I was 19 weeks pregnant then and we just got back from my husband’s hometown in Melaka. I was lying on my back in bed reading a novel and put a cushion over my hand, which was on my belly. And the next thing I know... TOING!, goes Bubbles.

I was so amazed I stared at my belly for a good few minutes, just willing Bubbles to show me some kind of movement. And Bubbles obliged! My husband was soooo excited. In fact we were both so excited at the shivering motions my belly was making. I don’t know how to explain how something so small like that could make me happy, but it sure did, alright.

Thereafter, I noticed that Bubbles would respond to other things other than my hand, like the light or Daddy’s poking fingers. Each time we shone some light on wherever we felt it was hiding, it would automatically go to the other side and the next thing I know, my belly would turn all lembik at the spot it was at. Likewise when my husband starts talking too much to it, while poking at it. And since then, Alhamdulillah, I have seen it move or at the very least felt it move daily. Bubbles has worked up a routine of its own too. So, I can kind of anticipate at which time of day it will move.

Now, who would have thought that belly-watching could be so fun, right?

Oh, if you noticed, I still address the baby as Bubbles, rather than a particular gender and that’s not so much because I am keeping secrets or anything, but rather, because I DON’T KNOW YET! Ahah. I was supposed to scan during my last check up but there was a teeny weeny glitch in the system (which is now settled) and so, I haven’t seen Bubbles for a long time now.

Other than that, I am happy and content, knowing that this lil’ person is alive and kicking (literally!) inside of me.

When people say that it’s possible to love someone without actually meeting that someone, I believe now.

Oh by the way, here I was at 20 weeks ;)

I’m at 22 weeks right now with only 18 weeks to go, oh, how time flies. I met the halfway mark and more!

I am going to miss this moment. I totally get all of you when you say that now. Totally.

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what's my password again?

The girl gets herself an Android and you’d think she’d be updating at least twice a day. Tettt. So wrong.

On blogs which link me, I can see that I have been out of the blogosphere for approximately 3 weeks now. Tett. So not me, don’t you think?

Thing is this. These past few weeks have been some of the most trying in this year, so far. I can’t quite put it in so many words. Each time I try have a positive outlook about what happened, I find myself failing miserably. Each time I try to take it out on my blog, everything came out but good.

There were times when I just wished I were a faceless blogger. No name. No photos. No identity. Totally and completely anonymous. So that I could write about whatever I wanted without having the people who know me know that it was me.

Yes, it was that bad. In fact, I was listening to Adele’s Someone Like You constantly because I just felt the music suited my mood. Now, don’t go around speculating. There’s nothing wrong with my marriage or the likes. It’s just something I can’t tell.

But they say that there’s always a silver lining to every dark cloud and my silver lining came, finally. Not in any form worth bragging or talking about but still. I’m glad I’m finally back.

Just remember that –

You can’t make everyone like you just by being nice;

You can’t be too trusting. This is no longer College when everyone is your sister and you could trust your life with them;

You might regret the words you write at the spur of the moment. Even if you delete those words later, it might not change the way you felt at that moment and worse, it might not change the way the recipient took it. So, my take on it is to be best friends with your husband. Tell him instead;

When someone gives you “fire”, never retaliate with “fire”. Sometimes, it’s worth not talking about certain things, just because. Sometimes, it’s good to be “water”. Boy am I glad I’m an Aquarian. It comes naturally; and

You're never too old to learn anything. 

And now that I’m okay, I’ll make you sick to the core with my non-stop updates. Haha.

Good to be back ;)

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Press 9

No one can help it if we grow any older. But I wonder if we can help growing up. I don’t think anyone intentionally sheds off the kid in them, but we eventually do. As we grow older, we stop being the innocent wide-eyed girl we once were. We think that fairytales are silly because we come to the realisation that no matter how much we will it, there can never be a perfect life for anyone. We try so much to please others, we forget what we liked about ourselves the most. We are surrounded by negativity even in times when we try to attract positivity, so much so that we have no choice but to give up. Then, we no longer know what it is that we should do; both to make ourselves happy and to make others happy as well.

And in the end, we are lost. So lost that we can no longer find happiness in the smallest things which used to make us happy.

In times like those, I always press 9. Because pressing 9 means that I finally admit to the fact that I need some assistance out of the 4 corners of my space.

And I’m glad that when I press 9, I’ve got more numbers than I thought I could rely on, to rely on.

And for that, I am eternally grateful. Because I know that no matter how much the walls close in on me, there’s always more people out there willing remind me that no matter how old we get, we are growing old together. So, we’re not alone in it.

Because believe it or not, the 4 corners which you trust your life with, will never keep you safe for long.

So, in times of dire need, press 9. I’ll be there for you.

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Moves like Jagger

I’ve been feeling “quickenings” since a couple of weeks back already. Before I got married and pregnant, I always wondered how mothers knew which part of their baby was moving and if it was all really their imaginations. I mean, seriously! How can you know if you baby is kicking or butting or tugging or scratching? You can’t even see the baby, right?

So since I got pregnant, I tried not to be too enthusiastic. So long as it has a strong heartbeat (which it DOES, Alhamdulilllah!) I didn’t want to be “imagining” my baby moving. But eventually, I realised that it became increasingly difficult to ignore the bubbles in my lower tummy. Especially after my Zuhur prayers when I am having a rare moment of “no-rush”, when I’m sitting in the dark with my hands rested beneath my shirt, on my belly.

It’s in those times when I could actually, actually feel it without imagining it! It’s when s/he feels constricted that s/he moves the most. Like after a heavy meal or when I am bent over my files or when I am sitting there with my perut berlipat-lipat that I can actually feel something or rather someone... rebelling! Kecik-kecik dah pandai demand space! Ahahaha. =.="

It’s not much of a kick, punch or anything of that sort. It feels more like someone is... farting inside of me, hence the name Bubbles. Takkan aku nak panggil anak aku Kentut pulak kan. Seriously kelakar okay! Ahaha.

This baby is mostly active at night, just about after dinner and before I go to bed. S/he won’t let me sleep soundly without me reciting Al-Quran or without me playing a few Surah on the laptop all night long. I can already foresee sleepless nights and a very demanding baby but I’m still excited nonetheless! Heehee. =.="

Eh wait, where was I? Oh, yes, Jagger. We were in the car one night after dinner listening to Moves like Jagger on the radio when I felt something pinching from beneath my belly. And it went on and on and on until the song finished, I just had to ask the Baby, “Hello, sayang, what you up to in there? Suka lagu Jagger ye?” Ahahaha.

So far, we’ve tried to play the song again, but s/he doesn’t react during the day. S/he only starts reacting after lunch time.

I’ve been told during the last check-up that I need to start monitoring the Baby’s movements starting on the 18th week. My 17 weeks are coming to an end and the Paranoid Me has been asking myself what I should do/feel if I can’t feel any “real” movements like a kick or punch or anything? Should I run to the hospital ASAP? Should I panic? Should I? Should I?

Hmm. But on my outing with 3 other mummy-to-be’s yesterday, they all told me not to worry. The Baby will move for real, right on cue, so I was told. And suddenly, your belly will have a life of its own and it’s going to be hilarious then!

We’ll see next week (sebenarnya dah tak sabar HAHA!).

On that note, I leave you with some recent photos of mine. I’m only beginning to like taking photos again after realizing I don’t look all too bad at all ;)

Ye, perut saya comel je for 17 weeks. It runs in the family ;)

Until the next time! Ta!

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a private realm.

A few months back, I created a Twitter account. For one because I was missing out on so much, since most of my close friends tweet. I don’t really believe in 140 words or less because I’ve always been a rambler and a long one at it. But I’ve got to admit that Twitter in many ways has made me happier, as it is an “outlet” for me to express whatever I think or feel without having to broadcast my thoughts to 600 “friends”, half of which I haven’t met in years, I think.

So, yes, with Twitter, I feel liberated.

And despite my plea to everyone to blog responsibly and to mind our language when writing an entry, my stance on tweeting is quite the opposite. Not so much because I swear in my tweets, I still do watch what I say, but more because in Twitter, you can really limit those you want to be followed by and who you want to follow.


If you feel like you don’t like someone on your timeline, you can simply unfollow. If you want a limited range of people to know your deepest, darkest (or happiest) thoughts, you let them follow you. It really is that simple because Twitter, unlike FB, is not the place for you to keep in touch, etc. Not entirely anyways. For me at least, it is a collection of your thoughts, be it good or bad. And for me, it’s the people who matter enough who get to see both sides of me.

Having said that, I do think that everyone should be entitled to tweet about whatever they want without so much of “policing” or negative comments about the things they say or do. Or in this case, tweet. If someone is into make-up and fashion, let them be. If someone is into movies, let them be. If someone is into the habit of checking in wherever they land their butt, let them be. If someone likes to tweet about their life, work and their pregnancy and their cravings, then really, let them be.

And if you don’t like the way someone tweets, click the “unfollow” button and be relieved of all ill feelings. Because really, why should we only write about the things that others want to read about in a private realm in which the power to choose is in our hands. Because in Twitter, it really is your choice. Whether to follow and not to follow. That is the question.

As I said, it really is that simple. Thank you.

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Too much info

These days, there is nothing which cannot be Googled. Even our own name. Try it. Not that it’s a bad thing entirely, but... well, sometimes, I think that people didn’t coin the phrase “ignorance is bliss” for no reason.

As “lawyers by profession”, it’s natural to be curious about most things. It really is. It’s when you’re not inquisitive enough that gets you into trouble because it shows how few factors you take into account to analyse a particular matter.

But too much “curiosity”? It doesn’t only kill the cat, it also qualifies one to be a “busybody”. And I cannot stand “busybodies” especially when they have no business to be so curious about something to begin with. And especially so when they really don’t know how to do so with class.

Time and time again, each time we get a new addition to our “so-called Adv family”, as in really new and fresh from the oven kind of new, when they come by for their courtesy calls and ask me for tips to survive in the Department, I tell them the first rule of thumb; WE ARE HERE TO WORK, SO WORK.

Everything else is secondary. Whether or not your boss is strict or funny or clever or any other adjective you can possibly think of is besides the point. First and foremost, to gain trust, you must be (1) hardworking (2) smart (3)tactful (4) discreet.

And most people think (as I did initially) that being smart comes first. What people forget is that despite this being a free country and everything, humility is key. It doesn’t matter if you have a CGPA of more than 3.5, you don’t know a thing about working life and the politics that come with it. No matter how much you hate the politics or dodge it, it’s something you cannot avoid entirely. So, work. Just work. After all, isn’t that why we all got out of bed for in the first place?

I find that the “new generation” come into the working place with preconceived thoughts and impressions about the people in it. About the work of place I can fathom because you must know why you chose a particular organisation, but people in the organisation whom you hardly know let alone ever met?

It’s okay if you know what to do with such knowledge, but to come in and judge even without knowing that person first? And to spend hours on end talking about other people? To me that’s just plain wrong. You’re here to work. If you’re lucky, you get to make friends and those friendships last a lifetime. What I can tell is that no one comes in to work to make enemies. So, what’s up with the non-stop gossiping about people at work, with people at the same working place? Especially about people who you clearly don’t have any real idea about?

Don’t you have any work to do?

And don’t you have an inkling of an idea of how dangerous it is to talk about people at work with people at work? Especially those you have just met at work? Eventually, your identity will leak and people will know what kind of a person you are. And there goes the trust. Whatever else you do won’t matter then, because people will know you’re such a blabber mouth, there’s no way in hell you’re going to get to do anything confidential or important enough to put you on a different pedestal than others.

Maybe it’s just in my nature to gossip “selectively”. Maybe it’s just in my nature to work my butt off each time I get an assignment. I have had my moments of being at the bottom of the wheel and that’s normal. But I work, because that’s why I come in every morning. As far as I am concerned, I have not made any enemies. And so, to me, if anyone wants to prejudge me without even knowing me, they don’t deserve my help, knowledge or guidance.

They can pretty much drive themselves down a ravine and I won’t give a damn.

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Nasi Lemak 2.3

You know what? It gets really weird sometimes, the things that pregnancy does to you. And trust me, it’s not something you make up or pretend. It’s pretty genuine. And to be very honest, I was surprised too. I had no idea I would be affected. I thought I would get away unscathed. Untouched. Unaffected. Especially by food cravings.

But oh, I was affected, alright. These days, I still am.

Like how I craved for tossai this morning. Like how much more random can I get?

Luckily for me, my cravings are not the type which “I-Must-Have-Or-I-Swear-I-Will-Die” kinds. No, no, no, no, no. Probably because I tell myself that it’s just my raging hormones and that I don’t really need what I think I need. I use “mind over matter” where I can help it else I’d go crazy!

But if there is one thing I’ve been needing and wanting these past 15 weeks, it would be Nasi Lemak.

Oh, yes. Yummy, yummy Nasi Lemak.

Despite my constant bouts of vomiting (which are beginning to subside, yey, hopefully for good!), my appetite hasn’t really been hampered that much. I still eat as normally as I possibly can, in fact, I’ve been eating a lil’ bit more. And by a lil’ bit more, I mean I’ve been adding a good dose of breakfast which I have been missing since like forever. So, instead of crackers, I’ve been eating Nasi Lemak because Nasi Lemak rocks my socks! Plus, I’ve been munching almonds and fruits (which are supposedly low cal!) in between meals.

Having inherited my father’s and late grandfather’s good genes of not easily gaining weight, I thought I was going to get away with it. I thought I wouldn’t “grow”. Plus, with people telling me how wonderfully healthy I look right now, I thought, WOW, I’m all good.

As a result, I gained a whopping 2.3 kg when I weighed in during the last check up.

*feels like crying and killing myself now*

For someone who hadn’t gained weight in the longest time, that was a reality check for me. I could gain weight, apparently. And people can stop telling me it’s the baby because si comel hanya 100 gram ye kawan-kawan.

And since such weight gain is not commended (I’m only supposed to gain 0.5 kg per month, and I don’t know if that’s’ been possible for anyone), I’ve got to go for follow ups much sooner than I anticipated. I was so determined to not gain that much anymore, I ditched my Nasi Lemak for boring plain old bread with nothing on top.

Yesterday, for another check-up unrelated to antenatal, I lost some weight! Not much, just about 0.6 kg, but still! It made me really happy!

So, guess what I ate this morning?

Not surprising, NASI LEMAK, of course!

Hopefully,

• this Nasi Lemak craving will not last for the next 5 months; or
• I would be able to curb my crazy Nasi Lemak craving; or
• I would develop a healthier craving; or
• by some struck of good luck, I would not regain the 0.6kg I lost + another 2.3kg when I weigh in next time (I WISH!)

Wish me luck with my Nasi Lemak issue! I really need to get over it and FAST!

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Honeymoon

Since we both do not earn in the millions or even many thousands, we both sort of “broke our bank” to go for our honeymoon. Okay, fine, I’m exaggerating. We didn’t break our bank but we saved a whole lot just so we got to go on a holiday together. I remember that about 4 weeks leading to the trip, we stared at our Shin Chan “piggy bank” with longing every single day.

To be very honest, out of all the things which have happened in the span of the past 10 months or so, my favourite is my honeymoon. Call me cheesy or whatever, but I really enjoyed myself during the 6-day trip.

I know that it’s selfish to simply tell everybody that they MUST go on their honeymoon, but really, please go. If you must know, we never really planned on Perth at all to begin with and I was ready to settle for Sabah because my Sabahan friend kept telling me how beautiful the islands are. Of course, she could be biased but I knew that her recommendations rang truth. In fact, if it wasn’t Sabah, it would have been Pangkor or Penang.

But after comparing airfares and hotel prices, we decided we’d try Sabah some other time. This was our first trip together and if we were going to spend that much, we’d better make it super worth it and make the trip last a lil’ while longer.

I can say with conviction that it was worth it.

Because if I could repeat one thing, I would repeat my honeymoon again and again and again.

This morning, when my husband called, I told him I was looking at our honeymoon photos. He then asked me,
“Oh, tengok gambar masa tengah comel lagi?”

To which, I of course jumped to my own defence,
“SO SEKARANG I TAK COMEL LAH?”

“Sekarang you hot.”

Hmmph. Bodek. Hee.

Nak bodek lagi jum pergi Babymoon, jum? Pretty please? Heee.

Someday, I’m so going back to Perth. InsyaAllah with the lil’ one of course ;)

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Let it Burn

Phew.

It has been a long, long time. I have wanted to write about so many things but they always stop short at the title.

But right now, I just feel like letting things off my chest.

I feel tired. Really tired. And what else about if not about work. I’ve come to that point again. That point where I am burnt to my core, where motivation is close to none and my sense of urgency is pretty much down the drain. Because everything has become so urgent, urgent seems like such a funny word to me. Really, it is. Sometimes, when people tell me something is urgent, it sends me into shackles of laughter because I don’t think anyone around here knows what urgent is anymore.

Sigh.

People tell me I should be thankful. What with this beautiful building I come to work at everyday. What with my own room and furniture and everything. And I am thankful. But that doesn’t make me any less burnt out you see. This “burnt-out-ness” is really making me count days to my weekends because that is all I look forward to.

I most definitely am not looking for another job, at least not for now.

All I need is a break. No. Actually, all I need is a week without anything other than my existing work to come in so that I can settle my existing work and then, people can start piling new things on my table because I love to work so much.

I am scared looking at my “In” tray and sometimes, I wish that I could just bury them all away and jetset somewhere beautiful.

Until that daydream comes to life, I shall continue to follow my own pace because if I go at the pace that everyone else is going, I may not be able to catch my breath. As it is, I already am short of it.

So, I’ll just let it burn. Even if it may be to my detriment. Just this time.

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