It has been a long, long time. I have wanted to write about so many things but they always stop short at the title.
But right now, I just feel like letting things off my chest.
I feel tired. Really tired. And what else about if not about work. I’ve come to that point again. That point where I am burnt to my core, where motivation is close to none and my sense of urgency is pretty much down the drain. Because everything has become so urgent, urgent seems like such a funny word to me. Really, it is. Sometimes, when people tell me something is urgent, it sends me into shackles of laughter because I don’t think anyone around here knows what urgent is anymore.
People tell me I should be thankful. What with this beautiful building I come to work at everyday. What with my own room and furniture and everything. And I am thankful. But that doesn’t make me any less burnt out you see. This “burnt-out-ness” is really making me count days to my weekends because that is all I look forward to.
I most definitely am not looking for another job, at least not for now.
All I need is a break. No. Actually, all I need is a week without anything other than my existing work to come in so that I can settle my existing work and then, people can start piling new things on my table because I love to work so much.
I am scared looking at my “In” tray and sometimes, I wish that I could just bury them all away and jetset somewhere beautiful.
Until that daydream comes to life, I shall continue to follow my own pace because if I go at the pace that everyone else is going, I may not be able to catch my breath. As it is, I already am short of it.
So, I’ll just let it burn. Even if it may be to my detriment. Just this time.
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