After being ridiculed, I knew that keeping mum was just as effective as putting up a fight. Knowing that it was a no-case on my part, I knew that the best thing to do was to call it off with my colleagues and just let them go without me. After all, putting up a fight really isn’t worth it. Trust me. It’s not even useful building on a case no matter how good your authorities are.
My colleagues said that I was under P.G. 13. You know what that is, don’t you? Remember those times when you were barely 13 and your mum told you to close your eyes when there was a kissing scene on the telly? That’s what my life pretty much still is.
I know that they know the eyebags beneath my eyes are irreparable and that I am old enough to bear my own child. They talk about my marriage and my future like it’s going to happen tomorrow. Yet, they refuse to view and treat me as a grown person. Talk about being in denial.
If you’re wondering what on freaking earth had freaked them out so much, let me spill. I told them that I wanted to go to a wedding (a wedding okay, not clubbing or something)... in Teluk Intan. The fact that I wanted to go to TI was too overwhelming for them to accept I guess, because any mention of a state heading north is seen as extremely far to them. When actually, I think that Tg. Bidara is even farther than TI considering the distance I had to drive from the tollhouse. It’s just the fact that one is in Perak and one is in Melaka that freaks them out.
If it were up to me, I would have just given up on my case. Like I said, keeping mum was just as good as a verbal war. But I did tell them what my colleagues thought of me and that got them thinking. It’s okay when your parents think you’re still little because that’s just their job, but when your friends start making fun of how much of a baby you still seem, it’s not funny anymore.
I’m 23. I want to feel like a bujang bekerja. I want to be able to go to the gym with my colleagues after work, without feeling guilty about making my mom wait in the office for me to pick her up. I want to be able to go out after work without feeling like I have to constantly look at my watch or report my whereabouts. It’s frustrating. I really do need that freedom to make my own choices.
I used to make my own breakfast, lunch and dinner and I even created a meal named “munch”. I paid my own bills, rent and scheduled my grocery shopping trips. I managed my own funds and never asked more than I was given. If budget was tight, I made money by working. I went out and socialised (within limits of course). I wore what I wanted (of course within limits, if not Mami would scream her lungs out. I have good friends). I was pretty much grounded despite the freedom I had. If I didn’t know how to take care of myself, probably I wouldn’t be working right now kan? If I was so jahat, I would have done all the bad things while I had the freedom to kan? But I didn’t and they just don’t get that.
It’s frustrating when you’re already 23 and your P.U.s fuss about you coming home at 9.30 p.m. after a futsal game. It really, really is. It’s even more frustrating when you’re in the middle of melalak karaoke session with your colleagues at 8.30 p.m., your P.U.s are calling you 10,000 times asking you when you’re coming back. And it’s even more frustrating that you have to ask rather than tell where you’re going at this age considering the fact that I basically made those decisions on my own when I was still studying.
I know it’s all in the name of love. They’ve made that pretty clear. In fact, they’ve announced that they don’t care if people thought I was PG 13 so long as I’m safe. That’s fair. But how about what I feel? Do I have to tolerate being under Parental Guidance as if I’m 13 until I’m married (which is v jauh from now) and just bear with the Parental Units until they tire themselves chasing after me?
Everyone? Anyone? No one?