Has it been that long already?
Yes, apparently it has been almost 5 days since my last update. Fah spent the entire week at my place since I had to stay home alone and the rest of the girls came to join the mini sleepover later during the week. Well, I still had to go to work, of course. And I feel so sorry for not being able to spend more time with them, but I couldn’t help but feel so super knackered (
especially on Thursday night) and up until today, I feel a little bad for not going out for supper with them like I said I would. I am so sorry!
But we sure did have a lot of fun on Friday, didn’t we girls?
If there is one thing I surely get from my cousins when we have mini sleepovers like this, it would be
youth. Yes, of course, I am still a youth by definition, but with all the things going on in my life, it becomes
increasingly difficult to enjoy life as it is. And sometimes, no one and nothing else is the source of your misery apart from yourself. Tricky, huh? Yes, very.
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| finally got the photos from Na. Tq awak! |
My cousins are by far some of the most addictive people on earth. It’s difficult to stifle laughs or to resist going crazy because they have insurmountable amounts of energy and go loco just about all the time over every little thing!
But beneath all that, there is a depth that not many people know.
We had a little talk about family and life on Friday and came to the conclusion that there is always something lacking in our lives, like it or not. Finding a balance is difficult, but it isn’t impossible. We try as much as we can.
We also talked about Atuk’s passing and how it has changed us. In the end, we are just glad that all of us have made commendable efforts so far in keeping us (cousins at least) together as much as we possibly can.
We also then talked about the
hijab.
For some inexplicable reason, Na (youngest of the pack) consulted
me when she thought of wearing the
hijab. Of course, I was flattered when she turned to me for advice, but I still think of it as a little
ironic, seeing that I don’t wear it myself.
It’s not that I’ve never thought of wearing it before and trust me, my mom reminds me constantly that it is
wajib. But like me, she wants me to be ready.
Really ready.
To my parents, prayers (
solat 5 waktu) is the most important
amalan I must observe. If I don’t pray, I get it from my dad and I get it really bad. If I wear something too revealing, I am asked to change my clothes immediately. But they don’t bug me about the
hijab as much because to them,
piety should come from within, not the other way round.
After several consultations (
yes Na, I keep tabs, I’ll charge it on Daddy’s account ;p), Na made a decision and took that bold step. I think she made the
best decision because at such a young age, people have no reason to judge, hate you or talk in the adverse about you and eventually, people come to love and accept you just because. It has not changed us one bit in terms of our relationship. In fact, I think in a lot of ways, it has made our bonds stronger.
Because we know that no matter what happens, we
always find a way to make it all better for us and that the bottom line is
love. And with love, comes
acceptance.
And just like that,
Na got the ball rolling. One by one, we are thinking of donning the
hijab now. It has become
so accessible and
stylish, while at the same time
decent that sometimes,
I feel ashamed for being so afraid of not being ready.
I stopped at every shop I possibly could at Jalan TAR yesterday and if money were not the issue, I think I would have
borong-ed all that I could. So that when the time comes, I would be properly prepared.
Decency is definitely not boring. The world has proven that.
Na inspired me to be brave and insyaAllah, the time will come for me as well.
Hopefully soon.
By the way, we love
StyledCovered and
Disuatu Pencarian. Great ideas.
Na just proved to me that wisdom doesn't always come with age. Tested and proven.
Now, Na, please email me the pictures in your phone. Peace, love you ;)
Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)