February 05, 2014

when the worst turned out to be better.

This is probably the first time after 10 days that I have some time to myself. This is the first time in 10 days that I'm not exhausted to my bones so much so that by the end of the day, whatever energy I have left can only be used to put myself to sleep. This is also the first time in 10 days that I've switched my laptop on and still, many think that since I had 10 days off from work, I would have all the time in the world to do anything I like. 

But you see, sickness is not a choice. And sickness knows no boundaries. It inflicts without caring about one's age, or medical history or background. 

I've got to say that I was shocked this time round, though hats off to us both (my husband and I) for handling the situation so swiftly. 

We thought we've done everything we could to avoid it; pre-washed all his clothes, aired his shoes after use, cleaned the house, change bedsheets and towels more frequently (like everyday for Luqman) and just generally maintained a cleaner lifestyle than before, but alas...

Kun fa ya kun. 

Luqman was again diagnosed with HFMD (hand foot mouth disease) for the second time. Many have asked us what the symptoms are and for us, the biggest giveaway was his excessive drooling. And this was caused by the ulcers in his mouth. 

This time round was extra challenging for us because it inflicted his mouth area and with that, he couldn't drink, couldn't eat, drooled a whole lot and guess what... it was so painful, he even refused to breastfeed. And because of that, he was always cranky and hungry and kept us up all night long, which in turn made us tired and sleepy and with that my health took for the worse too.

Only god knows how exhausting it has been, but in retrospect, I've got to say that just like the last time, I thoroughly enjoyed my time at home. Even if it was under such unfortunate circumstances, getting to spend uninterrupted time with my 2 boys is really something I appreciate, regardless.


AND guess what? I wrote that some time last weekend and only now do I have some time alone since I'm back at work.

Obviously I can't remember what it was that I wanted to write about earlier, but I guess it doesn't matter what I thought then.

What I do think now is this; 

Just prior to Luqman getting sick, I came back home from work at midnight or past midnight almost daily. Of course I made time for my family during the weekends and extended holidays but work was really taking a toll on our relationship as a family, as a whole.

So, when Luqman fell sick, much as I hated to see him in such sickly state, I thanked Allah for giving me a way to make up for all that lost time. I know it's kind of twisted to think of it that way, but that was the only hikmah I could see behind him suddenly falling sick despite everything we've done.

Besides, I have been thinking about taking a long leave next week anyway, to spend some time ALONE. I guess Allah has BETTER plans for me, by telling me that well, honey, you'd be bored to death in that house so I'll let you spend some time with your boys instead.

And just like the last time, those 10 days in January just gave me my much needed boost as a mother and wife, as I've never felt so much love as I felt in the past week.

Now that February is here, all I can say is "Bring It On!"

February, after all (for obvious reasons), has always been one of my favourite months of the year.


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