February 07, 2014

I'll be there for you.

I often wonder why, as people grow older, they tend to grow apart.

(Now, that was a rhetorical question.)

Because married or not, with child or without, jobless or not, we have to come to terms with what we know as the perils of adulthood, one of which is growing apart while growing up.

And because most of us understand this, we tolerate. We tolerate silences, absences, time alone, time with our own families, personal ordeals and family problems not being aired in the open and when we do meet up, we make the best out of what we have. Forgive and let live.

But then again, how much can we forgive and let live, actually?

I have come to that point in my life where I have become indifferent about losing certain people in my life.

I realised this after I lost all of my contacts on my phone one day and actually laughed about it. It just didn't seem to matter as much as it did before. With important contacts committed to memory, I took that as a sign that I should just let go of the people who have not been there by choice; you know those who forget to wish you birthdays, who didn't bother to ask about your life, your son, your family and just generally those who think that it was okay to not be in touch because we're probably going to forgive and let live anyway.

Well, I decided that if I wasn't important enough for you, then you'll stop being important to me. 

It's what we call reciprocity.

With that, I also had some kind of revelation about the kind of person I really am. 

Wasn't I the one who people said would disappear without a trace after school? Wasn't I the one who needed so much rescuing from being a sad lonely loner who didn't mind her own company? Wasn't I the cold-hearted one who couldn't forget not matter how much she claims she forgives? I was actually just as bad as those who didn't keep in touch with me, because my egotism kept me from starting the ball from rolling.

Having come to that realisation, I decided to be in touch with the people who matter; those whose numbers I have committed to memory and those who always had me in their thoughts. It didn't matter to me anymore if I was being nosy or that that very important person (to me) didn't start the conversation first. I didn't mind being the one who began.

And it felt so good.

It felt so good to be in contact and to know that somewhere out there, my number hasn't been deleted (yet) from that person's Contact List. It also felt good to comment on people's status updates or problems on Facebook (which I was previously really reluctant to do, I don't know why, so don't ask!), because isn't that the whole point of a virtual social networking tool - for you to come together and network! So come together I did.

And I know I've said it before but I'll say it again, yes, it feels really good. 

So even if one of the perils of adulthood is growing apart while growing up, there are ways for us to always let the other person on the other side of the line or world know how much we care and that we'll always be (physically/virtually) "there". 

***
p.s.: Din, if you ever read this, you know credits go to you for the "perils of adulthood" phrase. As you can obviously see, I love it! Hahaha

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