December 18, 2012

the domino effect of happiness is happiness.

My son is the centre of my universe.

For such a small person, he exudes so much joy! No doubt I may be biased (well naturally), but everyone who’s met him seems to think the same as well. My mom thinks I’ve done a job well done (so far at least) to raise such a balanced baby despite our circumstances. And I’d like to pat my own back also for being strong for the both of us. That’s the least that I can do for now.

After he started rolling when he turned 4 months, our life went on a roller coaster ride. Things were moving even faster (probably faster than I would have liked it to be) when my son reached his 6-month mark. When he started eating solids, the possibilities were endless with him.

Sometimes, I get inferior when I see other parents recording their children’s milestones to detailed perfection. But note that this only happens sometimes.

It’s not that I don’t care, please don’t get me wrong. In fact, anyone who dares to say that deserves a tight slap from me. Of course I care. I bore him in my womb, how could I not? Thing is, I’m not the kind of mother who’s bothered about his developments just yet. It doesn’t matter that he’s 8 months and still doing a commando crawl instead of being on all fours. In fact, it really doesn’t matter to me if he decides to skip crawling altogether.

Which is why I sometimes get so annoyed at overly paranoid parents who ask, “my baby is 8 months so why is he not crawling yet?” kind of question. I always wonder if it has ever occurred to that parent that that alone is not a determinant of how well (or not) a baby is currently developing. 

The factors which I give emphasis on in bringing up my baby are very few but major. Health, good appetite, established sleeping patterns, recognition of who Mama and Daddy are, ability to differentiate condescending tones and affection, and of course, he must be active and alert. In fact, while many think my baby is lasak, that’s the one thing I’m truly grateful for, actually. It makes him a handful to handle, no doubt, but at least I know that he’s curious and aware of his surroundings.  

And most important of all, I emphasise on safety, like any mom would (probably I’m worse because I’m protective like a lioness)

The other thing I’ve decided to agree to disagree about with other parents is about “spoiling” a baby. In my opinion (of course you may agree to disagree with me as well), it is IMPOSSIBLE to spoil a baby. Note that I’m talking about a baby. Yes, new born to at least one year old babies.

Because despite knowing how to differentiate various emotions, and being born geniuses, to me, babies pretty much don’t know what on earth is going on. For the most part of their early lives, they don’t really have a choice; we make those choices for them.

Which is why my baby doesn’t sleep in a cot, doesn’t get scolded for climbing on me, isn’t told off when he starts unravelling what’s inside our travel bag, is allowed to kiss the floor and also the table to his highchair. And of course, he can throw everything onto the floor and I will pick them up without even sighing. If you don’t let them try, they will never learn.

Oh my God, manja nya anak kau Kak?

Oh, yes, he is manja. But also be reminded that he is a baby. And he’s not going to be a baby forever. I already miss his “newborn smell” and it’s only been 8 months into motherhood. Imagine how I’d feel when he turns 1, or when he starts school and starts getting embarrassed by my nonsensical mommy antics and sloppy kisses and long, long hugs?

Of course, I’m no angel with a halo over my head and there have been meltdowns (not just by him, by myself as well), but I let them come far and few in between. I always remind myself that I’m the bigger person (literally), so I should be the one in control.  

There are many ways to discipline a child and for me, “spoiling” him (at least at the moment) works wonders for me. It makes me happy. It makes him happy.

Happiness seriously has a wonderful domino effect, so please, let’s all try it.

In the end, mothers are an amazing race and our decisions are our own.

So you may agree to disagree with me if it makes you happy. No need to justify.

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)


me said...

Ah soo adorable! He really takes after you lah :)

Haneesa said...

Hehehe tq Tasha :). I'm loving every baby-ish moment with him while he's still so chubby and masham ;)