see you soon, Beyonce(t)

 (inside joke between the both of us)

Anyways, Beyonce rhymes with?...


















F  I A N C E E !



T A D A!
(or not so surprised?)

Finally, from the horse's mouth. *phew sendiri lega*

Due to the intimacy of the event, it is by invitation only.

Invitees for wedding reception will be most of everyone I know, insyaAllah.

But, ah. Details on that one later!

I'm so excited!

Finally, after approximately 5 years and 4 months. Alhamdulillah.

Wish us luck everyone! ;)

InsyaAllah, insyaAllah, everything will go well. Amin...

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you don't always get what you want.

:'(

Ish. What is wrong with me.

I already know that you can never get everything you want, but still.

No matter how aware you are that some things are beyond your control, you can't help but wish, "Ish, if only".

But why? Why do I still do that when I know I shouldn't?

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like old times.

Someone was in Kelantan for 3 days. He just came back yesterday.

Before he came back, we were texting each other and after a series of smses between us:

Me: Rasa macam dulu-dulu
Him: Why dulu-dulu?
Me: Because you're coming from somewhere and I need to pick you up. The only difference between then and now is that now, you're actually coming back home. It feels good. 


For a while, I had forgotten what it feels like to feel like this. To have that feeling like adrenaline rushing through your veins and the butterflies in your tummy doing summersaults as if they were practicing for the Olympics.

Then, the moment he called to say, "I'm home", I just... I just couldn't wipe that silly grin off my silly face.

Oh, how far we've come.

:')

Welcome home. We'll see you soon Beyoncet.

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a place called here.

What happens when we fast during the day? We can't eat obviously. Duh. And when we can't eat, what do you do? We either sleep... or think of some other thing(s!!!) we could buy with all that spare time we have, now that we can't eat during lunch. Of course, that is not taking into consideration the amount of money spare money in my bank account that I do not have. Sigh.

In my defence though, this is something I really, really need, more than want.

3 Fridays ago, I remember driving on MEX and looking at my hands and thinking to myself, "Wow, you've gained weight" because my watch was enough indication that I have more flesh on my wrist than normal. I remember that I reached home, saw Adik at the kitchen and contemplated more than usual before helping her because I wanted to make sure I took off my watch first. I took it off, that's for sure and I promise that it is nowhere else BUT at home. But to date, I have yet found it, which is really, really odd (not to mention wayy freaky). Because we don't have a maid at home and the weekend helper is really trustworthy (I've been leaving my money lying around and it's been okay) and I think I have searched every nook and cranny of the house. I have given up though. Which is sad.

Because that watch has it's own sentimental value, although it's Esprit je, people would say. I haven't changed it since I was 17. It was a gift from my parents after they came back from Mekah and my dad chose it for me. It was then that I realised how similar my dad and I actually are. And if I attempted to wear another watch, that Esprit watch would go dead for as long as I didn't wear it. And guess what? It would be okay the moment I put it on again. Just like that. It's very easy to care for and its batteries have been running on and on since for as long as I remember.

And now it's gone and I'm beyond upset. I don't know what else to do apart from wearing my jogging watch to work, which Abdul, being the blunt person that he is once remarked,

"Eh, sejak bile awak pakai jam Minnie Mouse ni?" (probably because it's plastic and not metal)

"WHAT???"

It's a Limited Edition Swatch Access, thank you very much. And I have had it since I was 14.

I guess this is the time to make new memories with a new watch? As upsetting as it is to swallow the fact that my Esprit has disappeared and gone to another (unknown) place along with my MP3 Player, my sunglasses and Guess jeans plus all else which I have lost, quite miraculously and suddenly without much sense.

Now, what should I get? A Casio maybe? So that when (and if by any strike of bad luck), I "lose" it again, I won't feel so bad because it wouldn't cause me a bomb.

Perhaps, the most wisest thing I could do this lunch hour is to sit in, take a short nap and read Reader's Digest. After all, fasting does mean "Menahan Diri". I guess it means menahan diri from all kinds of things.

Including spending the money you don't have.

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so, this is what it feels like.

So, it was a busy and tiring weekend, no less. No, no, I'm not really complaining, I just want a normal weekend for once. It's been really tiring. What's so tiring about our weekends?

L A U N D R Y.

No less. Which baffles me because there are only 3 people in the house, so why is there so much laundry to do like ALL THE TIME?

Because my mom loves to wash things and I have to see to it that she's happy. Heh.

Anyways, it was a really good weekend actually. I haven't posted photos for the longest time! And I have photos to post but I'm not really the most hardworking person this morning so I haven't transfered them from my camera yet.

I'll be away this weekend and will be on leave starting Friday... and I'm ALREADY dragging my feet to go to work. Make that dragging with a capital D alright? Pfttt... It's only Monday and I so want it to be Thursday already!

But I haven't started packing and I haven't started planning the itinerary for the getaway and that freaks me out as well!

Now, I really do know what it feels like to not have the motivation to go to work when you know that you are going away. If only I had more leave, I would have taken the whole week off. But I don't and I just got an assignment on SUNDAY!

So, off to work I go. Will most probably update during lunch. Ta!

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it's time for Africa.

The closest thing to football that I understand is futsal. And that's the only form of football that I will actually be interested in. And no, I haven't been caught up with football matches although it's World Cup Season like you lot. I haven't even joined futsal sessions for quite some time. But these are some things that I simply cannot not comment on. Cannot resist.

It's Time For Africa

Must be one of the, if not the most catchy song, EVER! Even non-football fans feel like dancing to Waka Waka.

Germany

I don't have any particular team which I support. But after watching Germany play, I went like "WOW". They're really good, I tell you! Suits the name "young and furious" that they were labelled with. I think they strategized well by putting the best young ones forward, since WC is obviously one of the places where big clubs scout for new players. And the young ones have so much to prove and obviously, they went all out to prove their worth.

Paul

Which is why, when the time came for the Germany vs. Spain match, I was very much interested. Well, at least I'm interested in the scores even if I don't make the effort to actually sacrifice my sleep to watch the match. What interested me the most is the prediction by Paul, the Octopus, which I find totally and completely hilarious (not to mention absurd). And he predicted that Spain would win. And well, what can I say. His predictions have been 100% accurate so far.  Tsk.

So, fine. Go on Spain fans. You can gloat now.

As for Paul, keep up the good work. Can you tell me something I want to know? ;) I'll belanja you some fish. Oh, wait. What do octopus eat again? 

credits to Google.

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sepuluh.

Ya Allah, aku berserah kepada ketentuanmu.

Tenangkanlah, teguhkanlah dan satukanlah hati-hati kami di bawah keredhaanmu.

Amin.

*****

Hello, everyone? How's your lunch hour so far? Mine's been going really fast and I just finished eating, in fact. I haven't had proper lunch dates in the longest time. Long story, old story, right?

Anyways, do you watch your calorie intake? I don't. I just eat eat eat what I want when I want (except at night) because that's just the way my body works. It can consume anything during the day and I will still be able to fit into my jeans, Alhamdulillah.

Last month, I didn't eat very properly due to many unavoidable factors. So, everyday, it was between bihun goreng, or bihun goreng or bihun goreng. Yeap. Last month was bihun goreng month. I knew that that would affect my bodyweight because if you didn't know, bihun has the least amount of calories (bukan tadi kau cakap tak watch calorie intake ke? hmmph. it doesn't mean I cannot know, right?).

Anyways, as I anticipated, I lost 2 kilos but the fat on my cheeks remained (surprise, surprise).

Now, after everything is over and done with, I have begun eating better and that means some nasi and lauk during lunch. And I knew that after over a month of consuming bihun goreng, my body was bound to react (to all that rice) someday and not to my surprise, my (mini) muffin top is back. Hmmph.

So, ladies and gent(s) (I know only one guy who reads this blog like a book), do not ever go on the "no-rice-diet". Ever. Because although flat noodles (kueyteow) is the carb with the most amount of calories, some kind of damage can be done if you stop eating rice for a while and then, start again.

Your body will react because even for a person like me who doesn't really grow fat despite the amount of rice I consume, when I stopped and started again, it's amazing to see the hotspots (apart from one) on your body increase without mercy as if you've been consuming cake non-stop for a month. Bab pipi tak perlu sentuh. Aku redha dengan ketentuanMu.

Kesimpulannya, silalah makan nasi. Walaupun sedikit.

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icebox.

Haip. Semenjak dua menjak ni bukan main rajin update.

Takda kerja ke Kak?
Ada.

Banyak.

Tadi baru Boss kasi satu yang baru. Lepas tu, both of us were laughing sebab setiap hari I will tell her,

 "Puan, kalau macam ni selalu, saya akan mati cepat". 

Jadi, alang-alang tak banyak masa, lebih baik blogging betul tak? Sempat pulak kau buat lawak Kak? Sempat, sempat. Kadang-kadang hidup perlu sempoi sikit. Kadang-kadang je la. Lain masa saya uptight.

Hmmph. Post ni mengarut je, promise, so tak perlu baca pun tak apa. No offence taken. Sungguh.

Masa mula-mula tulis tadi macam sure sangat apa yang nak ditulis. Sekarang dah mula menaip... hmmph. Apa pasal tulis macam tak bermotif?

Ooh, ooh. Dah ingat. Did you know how much I L O V E white? Tahu tak? Jika tak tahu, sekarang dah tahu bukan?

Sekarang saya sedang idam-idamkan sesuatu yang putih tapi tengok dulu macam mana. Nanti kalau dapat baru cerita. Sebenarnya saya nak tanya sesuatu (kepada sesiapa yang sudi jawabla, of course), best tak bila blog anda tu Googlable? Maksudnya, blog kamu tu, kalau orang lain kat luar sana search say for example "Delicious" pastu dia akan jumpa blog kamu sebab blog kamu pun ada keyword "Delicious"diulang lebih 100 kali pastinya kerana kamu (saya sebenarnya) kuat makan kan?

Saya tengok-tengok settings lepas tu... eh, I cannot be found by Search Engines rupanya. Bukan la ada apa faedah pun since Nuffnang pon tidak, apa pun tidak. Tulis pun suka-suka nak pass by time macam ni (walaupun tak berapa banyak time).

Semalam was an emotional day for me tau. Tak tahu kenapa. Dengar lagu sikit pun boleh buat hati tersentuh. Lately memang begitu. Agaknya Emo Month kot ni. Tengok semua orang pun tengah emotional lain macam aja sekarang.

Rasa nak balik la. Duduk sini macam otak jam sikit. Dah la sejuk macam peti ais.

Kalau anda baca sampai sini, saya sungguh tak percaya. Anda memang pembaca sejati.

Nah, ambik ni present satu. Sedap punya slurp.

pastu dah makan ni boleh ada hati tanya Abdul ,

"Laf, napa pipi saya labuh sangat?"

Hmmph. Lu pikir la sendiri.

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apa khabar? ada kau kesah?

Today is the second day I attempted to wake up for sahur, but to no avail. I wish I didn’t have such a sensitive tummy, though people say that it’s really all in the mind. Hendak seribu daya, taknak seribu dalih? But after what happened a few Rayas ago, I’m not taking any chances.

Everyday, I only hear the “sahur” alarm after Subuh. Which helps me to get up earlier for work, but still, I’m not even in the nick of time for a tiny drop of plain water. I’m starting to think that this is my body’s way of telling me how exhausted she is, although I don’t feel all that tired, now that I’m used to my 2-pax team at work (another post for that later if I remember).

June & July (so far) has made me conclude that one of the easiest ways to discover who the true ones are is by going through life-changing moments. You can instantly find this fact out because it instantly shows. You’d know because there are some who would stay to listen and remain silent on the other side of the line while you pour your heart out and some… well, some just avoid you because they find that whatever it is that you’re going through is no longer common with what their lives are all about.

It’s a tough fact to swallow and at times, one can get very lonely when this happens. I don’t avoid people like this but at the same time, I don’t want to be the one trying too hard. Because if I don’t matter enough to them, I don’t see why I should bother.

Thing is, it’s obvious that I’m bothered, isn’t it? Because I know that I didn’t do anything to deserve this kind of treatment; this kind of isolation. It’s unwarranted. Or is it?

I find it amazing when people make an issue out of someone being a tad bit different. Not even weird, okay? Just a little different.

It’s been going on far too long and the question of “Waddup yo? I did something wrong to you?” is just at the tip of my tongue. Aaahhh, but I’m way too proud for that, I know.

Now, I know who’s who. Are you true or am I just being used by you?

Funny how this is happening in a place where you see these people every single day and still, you can’t be bothered to even ask them how they are. Humans are funny. We keep on using the human argument. That’s even funnier.

Lebih baik aku beli handphone baru. Random, tau.

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Lynn & Agus.

It's getting hot in here, so let's take a break from the hot date.

So, the first one of the Gang tied the knot last Friday! I'm actually quite upset that I didn't get to attend the akad because... well, what else, work! So, on Saturday night, I decided to go even if it meant I had to make my way alone from TTDI to PICC that night.

At first, there was some confusion because my name wasn't in the list. Then, I remembered Lynn telling me that she was going to put my name under my partner's name and when searched, they couldn't find his name as well! Rupanya, tersilap ejaan. Ceh! I could have sat with my schoolmates but it's kind of rare for me to be able to go to a wedding with my partner so, I opted for the MMU Table. It's not that I don't know them pun.

But that didn't mean I didn't wreak any havoc (even at a lovely wedding such as this) with my friends. It was soooo bising, I'm telling you. Excited "longtimenosee" shrieks could be heard everywhere and everyone just looked so cantik.

And then, when the bride & groom arrived, we were all in awe. She looked so pretty! Very Pemaisuri sehari okay. And then, when the video was aired, tears started forming in my eyes, tapi saya tak nangis sebab shy. But seriously, the part where Lynn's mom cried, I started to get emotional and just looked away because it was a bit too much to take.

The food was lovely, the place was very nicely decorated and the event went so smoothly, Alhamdulillah. She's now Mrs. Lynn, happily married to Mr. Agus :').

Excuse me while I get some tissue now. I'm just so overwhelmed.

We love you Lynn and wish you a happy married life!

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mungkin nanti

Every time he contacted me, I would have that photo in Friendster haunting me at the back of my mind. I think I have mentioned somewhere before that I have never seen his eyes laugh like that before or ever again. And that photo was permanently etched in my memory. I often asked about that girl. I always thought he was going to marry her. I’m sure at some point in his life, he too, thought the same.

But little did I know, he too, was going through one of the toughest, most heartbreaking moments in his life. Oh, I know this is a oh-so-typical love story. I thought the same as well when it happened to me. 2 broken hearts. 2 sama tapi tak serupa stories. 2 similar goals; albeit different ways and means to get there.

I was always very cautious with him. Well, you can’t blame me; he did have a “reputation” of some sort that he proudly lived up to. But deep, deep, deep, DEEP (okay fine, you get the drift) down inside, I was dying to prove everyone wrong. I wanted to believe that he was a good guy after all. And it was difficult to do that. It was difficult to do that with everyone around you, going against you.

He stuck around me for a long time. He was always there at my old blog (oops sorry link not found) and because I knew that fact, I always communicated with him through it. There were times when I felt that everything was going too fast, too soon and still, there he was and there I was, letting myself fall freely. It was a scary feeling. To be very honest, I don’t know what I was letting myself get into.

Our favourite phrase back then was “Mungkin Nanti”. Not surprising because Peter Pan was so in back then and I love that song (note that it is not in past tense) (how was I supposed to know he would turn into Peter Porn?). When he asked me questions I had no answer to, I answered “Mungkin Nanti”. Because I didn’t want to tell him I didn’t want anything to do with him fearing that one day, I would regret making such decision.

So, despite the bottomless ravine I was so scared of, I let myself freefall. I hope one day, when I think of it in retrospect, it would be one of the best decisions I have ever made.

i wouldn't be surprised if at that point in time when i wrote this, i ended up in tears.

[to be continued…]

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