Easy peasy...

... That’s the impression I get from seeing most new moms. And here I am, struggling.

For the first 9 weeks after the baby was born, I was never on my own with my baby. During the confinement period plus a few more weeks, I was spoilt with good food, loads of rest during the day and my mom in the house to alternate taking care of the baby with.

After 9 weeks, I told my mom I wanted to give mommyhood a try. On my own. Much to her disappointment, I didn’t fall prey to her persuasion to extend my stay. So, we started staying on our own, in Putrajaya.

Babies, being creatures of routine, and my boy not being an exception, didn’t take being away from a familiar place very well. Most definitely, he didn’t appreciate the shift from a house full of doting Atuk, Tok Ma, Che Su and Uncle Oden to just having Mama and Deddy around.

So, understandably, when my husband was off at work and it was just me and him, he did the only thing he knew best to reassure himself that things haven’t changed one bit – which is to nenen. I couldn’t stand it. He was demanding milk every single hour and I was going out of my mind.

Prior to that (when we were at my mom’s) he was already drinking every hour. I was on call 24/7 but I was okay because I only had him to worry about. But when alone with a crying baby who wanted to be carried and having done everything in my imagination to comfort him best as I could, to no avail, I also did what I knew best – which is to give in to his demands for milk.

The first day, it took a toll on me and my relationship with my baby. I just didn’t know what to feel.

I was losing patience and I was deathly afraid of what I might do if I lost my mind. Luckily though, for the first 2 weeks after we came home, my husband was working out of office, somewhere closer to home. So, when things got out of control, he was just a phonecall away.

Eventually, things got better. He still demanded milk on an hourly basis but having gotten used to it, I persevered.

Still, there were some days when I didn’t get to eat breakfast, much less lunch. Depended on all the biscuits and air kotak I could find in the house to keep myself full and hydrated. There were some days when after I had bathed him, I couldn’t put him down to play alone for even a tiny while, that I ended up draped in my towel all day long until my husband got home. Yes, it has gotten that bad before. And yes, in my towel because bless the child, he loves to pee on me during bath time.

I stopped taking photos of him everyday, not only because I was too tired, but mostly because there wasn’t really a moment when he would let me put him down, let alone reach out for my camera to take a photo of him.

And then of course, after I trained him to scream a while longer before I picked him up, he has learnt that I too, need my space. I bought him the Simple Dimple Zoo Playgym and after his early morning feed, I would normally place him on the mat for him to play with his toys.

That’s when I dash off to shower and eat my breakfast... before he demands his milk again. Yes, still on an hourly basis.

Mommy friends of mine tell me that maybe he doesn’t really want milk every hour, maybe it’s something else that he needs. But trust me, I’ve experimented with so many other “something elses”, that I know my baby is just growing and hungry. All the time. For a halus little boy like him, he sure does drink alot alright.

The only 2 things which have been able to distract his “addiction” for nenen so far is... taking a drive and having a bath. 2 things which he loves, even if he has to sit in his car seat without being cuddled and alone for 40 minutes.

Sleep like a baby? Oh no, not my boy. He wakes up like an adult and sleeps like one. He’s normally up most hours of the day with a total of 2-hour nap tops until his bedtime at about 2230. He still wakes up 2 hours once during the night for milk, though. Other than that, he loves to play BUT needs company all the time. He feeds like a champion and for now, his Mama is his bestest friend. He loves to gurgle and smiles when I smile at him, he loves to plays with bubbles in his mouth and loves it when we sembang with him. I've learnt to let everything else like housework, etc. go because I know that these moments with my boy cannot be replaced. 

This is basically how I’m coping with early motherhood, thanks for asking.

So, with all that I’ve said above and the handful that I have to deal with, how is it that I’m able to write this today?

Today is Luqman’s “training day” so he’s away at the babysitter’s.

I don’t think there has been a longer day than today. 

I keep thinking of that sleepy little face dozing off in the car seat just now. And how yummy he smells.

Please 5 p.m., come quick. I’m going out of my mind.

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who's to blame.

Essentially, when children misbehave, we, as parents, are to blame. Really, we really are. I read this in some book and I've got to say that I agree. The only time we actually pay attention to our children is when they - cry, throw tantrums, break something, mess things up or do things to that effect. It's then that we run to them to console them, scold them, tell them off and in some extremely necessary situations, hit them, just enough to teach them.

Bottom line is, whether or not the attention we give is good or bad, we only give attention to our children when they are up to no good. When they are behaving, we hardly ever sit down with them to tell them what a good person they are or how smart they are or how grateful we are that they are behaving.

In other words, the signal that we send to our children is that "I will only pay attention to you when you do something bad." And this is ingrained in their minds from a very young age. So, is it any wonder when even my 8-week old knows that the only way to get his Mama's attention is by crying.

Of course some would argue that that's all he knows for now... but trust me, my boy's not the type to throw tantrums for no real reason. More often than not, it's one of 3 things - hunger, wet diaper or the weather is bothering him. I can, most of the time, leave him with his toys and he will self-entertain.

But of late, I noticed that he cannot last longer than a few minutes on his own before he starts crying for attention. And being his Mama, I know that most of the time, it's not because of one of the 3 reasons aforementioned that he cries. Most of the time, he just wants me to come over to him and have me hover over him and talk to him and agah him until he is happy.

This is because I stopped playing with him whenever he is in a good mood. When he is in a good mood, I snoop away and try to get things done. Previously, even when he was in a good mood, I would stay with him on the bed and play with him. And he would be content even if he was not carried all the time.

But not now. Not these past few days at least. If you come over during the day, you'd see a new mom carrying her son all over the house and the house is a wreck as everything is half done.

Who's to blame for this attention-seeking behaviour? Of course, I am. But really, do I have much of a choice?

I wish other things just fell into place automatically so that I can lounge all day on the bed with my baby while I watch him grow.

I'm sure it's going to be worse when I get back to work and I am absolutely dreading it.

Sigh.

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mommyhood.

So I thought I would be one of those who would never ever leave Blogger. Not this long anyways. And I managed to keep my word when I got married. I didn't allow the change in status to hamper me to blog about things I liked and the things which were happening around me. And though I blogged about not much else apart from my pregnancy when I got pregnant, I still found the time to blog. A blogger is who I was, am and will always be.

Or so I thought.

Motherhood has changed me. It has taken away the time which I used to have for myself, which I failed to appreciate when I wasn't with a child. Having a baby is like having to always be ready to shower with the door open when you're alone with him and being ready to run out of the shower naked, with only one leg shaved, the moment he cries for you. Being a mother means you have to sacrifice the things you love for a while, while he is still so helpless and is trying to find comfort in this world you have brought him into. Being a mother also causes a shift in paradigm and priorities.

And though it seems like motherhood demands so much out of a person, there is an indescribable instant gratification which I get out of it, which is equally difficult to fathom.

Is it in that smile while and after I am nursing him? It is in that expectant look every time I sing his bath time song. Is it the amusement in seeing how his little legs kick in his tub each time I sing his swimming song? Is it that toothless smile? Or is it in that funny moment when he cries hearing his own fart? Or is it the fact that he now knows that I am his Mama each time his eyes tail me while I move about the room to get things done.

Or is it all of the above?

I sometimes wish I had a camera watching over us to record moments in a day which cannot be rewinded; both good and bad.

It's the fact that babies grow oh-so-fast that makes him such a powerful magnet; so powerful that I can't quite pull myself away from him, even when I want to.

Though I love this blog and vow to come back to it, telling it of how Ariff Luqman came into this world so that I will always remember, for now, I'm just going to spend my days just planting sloppy kisses on this boy, while he's still too young to tell me off for embarrassing him.

Til then. I'll be enjoying motherhood now.

I will be back. I promise ;)

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tenth.

So the Doctor said, if I don’t deliver by the 10th, I’ll have to be admitted and he would have to induce my delivery. Because of the many experiences of others who have been induced before, I was hoping that my ObyGyn would change his mind. So I asked him if I could keep the baby in me until he was ready to come out. The only response I got was, “Berapa lama you nak simpan baby dalam perut? By the time 10th nanti dia dah 41 weeks dah. Kita induce okay?”

Well, not that I have a choice, do I? My baby is already full term and keeping him in me for too long would be detrimental to both him and me and it would require so many hospital visits because we would both need to be monitored. And just the thought of that made me cringe.

Turns out, we didn’t need to wait until today to see my baby, we didn’t even have to wait until the 4th of April, my EDD.

fresh from the womb!

On the 2nd of April 2012, I safely gave birth to a wonderfully healthy baby boy at 9.33 p.m. at Putrajaya Hospital. He weighed in at 2.75 kg, with a height of 50 cm.

As for now, we are adapting as best as we could, getting to know each other better and trying to embrace a life surrounded by baby wipes, diapers, panda eyes, (painful!) cracked nipples, (so much) laundry and more laundry.

It may sound a lil’ mundane, I know. But trust me, it’s that secret smile and serene face he shares with me after every single (2-hourly!) feed that makes everything worth it at the end of the day.

I wasn’t prepared for this much love and this one week has been nothing but overwhelming.

So, please excuse me. I’m going to go and stare at this beautiful perfect being Allah has blessed me with, now. Alhamdulillah.

Hi there uncles and aunties! My name is Ariff Luqman! And I love Mama's milk (and fingers!)!

(delivery stories will come up soon!)

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Happy, feet?

very happy feet indeed

Hello!

Still here, still? Haha. I bet you were hoping I’d post a photo of my boy’s tiny feet instead of my own huge ones. You must be tired of waiting. Well, trust me, berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul. Or in my case, it’s my pinggang, right? Or is it my feet? Oh, but of course I know you get what I mean.

My hospital bag has been stashed in the car boot since I was pregnant at 37 weeks. And that was mainly because my friend Nina gave birth at 37 weeks and it freaked me out. It just hit me then that “oh wow it really is possible for the first baby to come out that early” and I wanted to be prepared. Just in case.

But stashing things inside the car proves to be detrimental to my patience.

It’s gotten to a point where I just don’t know what to feel anymore.

So, on Saturday morning, I gave my husband a round of my drama and started crying for no reason.

Okay, not that I didn’t have any reason at all, but it just wasn’t good enough of a reason, is all. It began with me feeling extremely famished and the next thing I know, I was being all emotional about I just don’t know what. The next thing I know there were hot fat tears streaming down my face and all I wanted to do was to bury my head in my husband’s chest and... sob.

In retrospect, it was kind of funny. And not to mention... silly. But, oh well.

I had a good weekend though. Joined my family for some dinner at el Toro, Subang Avenue. Had some steak there, which was okay. But the mushroom soup was so yummy, it is most definitely worth a repeat! Pottered around my parents’ house. Inspected their fridge. Gobbled on those yummy cupcakes my neighbour gave us. Watched the boys play rugby at the padang. Gossed A LOT with Adik. Oh, and speaking of Adik, did you know that Adik is a genius?

Yes, this hula hooping girl who shares a birthday with Einstein (for real!) scored herself 9A+ and 1A for her SPM. I definitely had a “proud parent” moment last week!

And that is all my life has been about in a nutshell.

Here’s to many more days wearing shoes which only half-fit me.

(Though I really hope it won’t be any more longer than a week from now!)

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Eh eh?

“Still here?!!!”

That question was dubbed “The Most Favourite Question of the Day” yesterday. Yes, I’m still here, both on my blog and at the office. Anyways since that was such a favourite question, yesterday I felt it most appropriate to prepare my Senarai Tugas as at 19 March 2012, just in case. Emailed the list to everyone I’ve been assigned to work with or to take over my work in my absence, just to remind them ANYTIME NOW, bebeh. ANYTIME Haha. Or was that more of a reminder to myself? Errrmm...

And on the list, there’s this ONE thing that I really, really, really don’t feel like doing AT ALL. Tak baik, I know, but really. I’ve been hit by the M Bug; the Malas Bug. At least where that one thing is concerned anyways.

Other than that lone M Bug, I’m still pretty much... me.

Still waking up for work, still preparing breakfast, still getting things done at work (apart from that one thing, of course), going home, preparing dinner, goofing around, still sleeping late sometimes (or all the time, actually), still speaking my mind, still blog hopping and I’m pretty much doing things just as I would as per normal.

But in reality, this waiting game is crazy actually. Really crazy.

People keep joking that it would be okay if I go into labour in the office because there’s so many Abang Gagah who can come to my rescue. Thing is... I don’t even know what labour feels like. I mean of course I’ve heard about contractions, even read up enough on internet forums to give me a “WebMD”, but what they really are is still pretty much of a blur to me.

And instead of being scared, I find that to be hilariously funny because it’s just so ironic? Hahaha. Don’t ask me why, please. I try my best to capitalize on everything these days to increase my own amusement in life. Hard to keep the agitation and annoyance out of a pregnant lady counting days, honestly.

Today, the question above maintains its reputation as “favourite question of the day”. Sometimes (and simply because I can’t help it), I get so annoyed that I want to apply for early leave pronto. But I know people can’t help it. I mean, if I were looking at a serial “waddler” happily waddling her huge butt to work, I’d probably be thinking to myself that “she should be on leave now” too. So, yeah.

But I’m determined I’m okay. In fact, I don’t think I’ve felt this happy and energetic before. Beats me, but while it lasts, I’ll be embracing it with open arms.

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is it any wonder?

There are times when we are stuck in a ludicrous position, only to realise that there isn’t anyone to blame but ourselves.

The fact that we care too much (perhaps the most) is to blame.
The fact that we take our responsibilities seriously is to blame.
The fact that we just have to do everything to the best of our abilities is to blame.

In the end, we are to blame.

When in fact, if the rest of the world cared as much, took their responsibilities seriously and did their best in everything they did, none of us would be in a ludicrous position to begin with and none of us would be blamed.

Is it any wonder why the world is the way it is, when the norm is the minority?

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we're always dreaming in our heads.

The angels they burn inside for us

Are we ever

Are we ever gonna learn to fly

The devils they burn inside of us

Are we ever gonna come back down

Come around

I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

-Dishwalla

I woke up startled (very, very) early this morning. Not surprising though, considering how... startling my dream was – I dreamt that I lost my teeth. First, some of the ones at the back and then just before I woke up, one tooth on the front row came off (please look it up on the internet to see what my dream means, I’m too scared to even copy-paste it). I was quite the sight, I tell you. Scary would certainly be an understatement.

Naturally, I checked the time when I woke up. It was way too early to do anything at that point. Well, way too early if you stay AND work in Putrajaya anyways. And since I’ve ironed all our working clothes for today, even prepared breakfast, I thought I’d take a short nap. But before that, I woke my husband up though, because I needed him to charge my phone for me. Don’t ask me why he has to be the one to do it, I won’t explain. From his alarmed facial expression waking up, I must have scared him to bits.

Sorry babe, I really didn’t mean to give you a false alarm.

I attended a meeting in the morning (which surprisingly turned out well) and happy with the outcome, I thought I’d give myself a treat. In my head, I would run upstairs (obviously that’s just figurative speech, I can’t possibly run up, if still blur, please refer post below), grab my keys and head off to some place I could be alone with a book, sip on some expensive coffee and munch on the yummiest choc-bananah muffin I’ve tasted so far.

The reality?

I’d have to wait for the elevator (which doesn’t take that long really, but still), unlock the door to my room, grab the car keys, get back on the elevator, walk to the carpark (which is out in the blazing sun), put keys in the ignition, wait for the car to heat up a bit, drive myself to Alamanda, get myself a parking spot, walk to the shop to first check out if there’s actually a place for this heavily pregnant lady to land her big bum and if there wasn’t, I’d have to place my orders to-go and look for an alternative spot to spend some time with my book. And the consequence of that is that I’d probably receive multiple stares from everyone in Alamanda. Loneliness (or loners or whatever it is) aren’t perceived that well in Putrajaya, by the way. And oh, I’d have to leave Alamanda by at least 2.00 p.m. in order to arrive at the office at a decent time, find a good parking spot at the office carpark and go back up the elevator.

So there. After considering the reality against the romantic idea of spending my Friday afternoon alone with a book, expensive coffee and a muffin, here I am.

We’re always dreaming in our head. But do we all consider the reality against our dreams?

We’re always dreaming in our head. But how much can we depend on our dreams? Was my dream just a really bad nightmare, or could it be that it’s a sign? After all, people do say that, “when one comes, another one goes”. It’s like a “replacement/recycling scheme” to put it loosely.

And as much as I know that the only sure thing in life is us “going”, God Forbid, I’m not ready for that kind of dugaan. Really. No matter how bad of a person I’ve been of late, I really hope that that dream was a mere dream. Or could it be that... (??!) Okay, I won’t say it out loud, my husband would go ballistic.

Or, my dream could have meant that... next time I shouldn’t make fun of my husband’s teeth right before going to bed. Because that’s exactly what I did.

Of course, that was just my attempt at making myself feel better.

Though honestly, it doesn’t make me feel any less scared.

if I was to give in - give it up - and then

take a breath - make it deep

cause it might be the last one you get

be the last one
that could make us cold 

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Full term.

I spent half of yesterday trying my very best not to “kiss” my work station (re: fall sleep). To say that my efforts were futile would be too harsh; they weren’t exactly negligible. But then, at some point, I think I just gave in. If not, there must be some other logical explanation why I felt a lot fresher after I “blacked out” at some point. I may not have noticed that I napped, but I’m pretty positive at the moment that I did. So, yeah.

Sleeping has never really been my issue before; pregnant or not pregnant. I can pretty much sleep whenever and wherever. But of late, it has become increasingly difficult because it’s been so warm at night (and it’s just me, I know!!) All I want to do is strip everything off apart from my socks and burn all those comforters, which (ironically) don’t comfort me that much anymore.

But, that would lead to a runny nose (and possibly fever) and everyone knows that it’s best to avoid being sick, especially nearing your EDD. So, I try my best to sleep with everything on, while I toss and turn to find the “perfect position” and by the time it’s the morning after, I am EXHAUSTED beyond repair! Which leads to unwarranted, but simply beyond my control “blackouts”.

Hmm. The wonders of being a mommy-to-be.

Now, don’t I sound all hyped and excited?

I’m getting a lil’ bit agitated about I-don’t-know-what these days. Maybe it’s the jitters, maybe I’m just tired or maybe I can’t quite make up my mind on whether I want to see my boy more or whether I’m going to miss being pregnant. Either way, I’m going a lil’ bit out of my mind as I’m officially in the last leg of my pregnancy.

at 36 weeks

It’s 4, possibly 5 weeks to go ‘til the end of this pregnancy. If I gave birth this week, my baby would be considered premature, though already full term. If he decides he’d like to come next week, he’s normal. Most babies, I read, come out during the 37th or 42nd week. So, yeah. Figures why I’m so scared, I guess? It could be that near or that far. And I don’t know what to expect or what to feel.

Funny, considering how much I’ve prepped myself for this. Well, physically, at least. Most of the things on the list are bought or being given as a present, like the lovely SnugGo Baby Carrier my friends got me. The only 2 important things that we are without right now are the baby’s dresser and also a new fridge/deep freezer and perhaps more moolah hahahaha. Oh and that reminds me that I haven't really bought him any toys yet.

But it’s the fact that nothing can be predetermined or planned or anticipated that drives me crazy and I hate it.

Other than that, we’re more or less set and ready to go.

Or are we really?

At this point, I really can't tell.

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Menuntut

(a long and heartfelt post. just saying. in case you don't dig long and heartfelt)

Once, we used to have Friday morning tazkirah every fortnight. Each session probably lasted about ½ hour, sometimes a lil’ bit more, but they really made my mornings. I must admit though, that at first, I was rather reluctant to attend. There was always something bugging me, I always felt like I had something more urgent to do and most importantly, I felt like I was being discriminated/ prejudiced because of my physicality.

Ternyata sangkaan aku meleset.

Those Friday morning tazkirahs eventually grew on me. I became addicted to them. And most importantly, nobody was looking at my hair. Rather, they were really just sharing with me invaluable information and knowledge; things I either already knew about but needed reminding or reassurance or new things altogether – no judgment nor discrimination. To them I was just another eager, wide-eyed new officer, who attended those sessions for whatever my reasons may be.

Bottom line is that I loved those sessions; they really filled me up in ways you cannot imagine.

But then, came the shuffle in the organisation and the constant penceramah was promoted to a higher post, somewhere better. Naturally, the sessions stopped. And naturally, with no constant reminders of our being and how much we owe to our Creator, I eventually became emptier and emptier.

If you haven’t already noticed, religion is a very fragile and sensitized matter in Malaysia. I don’t say it is sensitive because by nature, it really isn’t. Rather, it is made sensitive by various quarters, so much so that talking about religion makes people all touchy and feely, especially in cases where there are interracial misunderstandings.

Worst, religion is now used as an agenda/tool by most political parties, that when you voice out an opinion or take a particular stand, you are deemed to be in support of a particular political party, even when in fact you are, or should be apolitical, like me.

But of late, I have been itching for new knowledge and enlightenment. There’s only so much of darkness and emptiness that you can tolerate after some time, especially when you’ve had such a blessed and happy life. You start to wonder whether your Creator is spending any time on you or whether He has forgotten you or whether He still loves you because there are times when you are too happy. So happy that you are delirious; so delirious that you forget that life is indeed is a cycle. This happiness is bound to end or be tested some time and you know that when you hit the ground after so much time on top, it’s going to hurt. And bad.

And at times like these, I wished I knew who or what to turn to. Books, articles, people, something.

My understanding of my own religion is far from commendable; hardly deserving of applause or praise, but I know for a fact that my religion is actually really simple. When something seems so simple to do, people tend to ask, “So, what’s the catch?” and the real answer is “None” because it really is that simple.

The complications that come with it are as a result of (mis)interpretations or difference in opinion. I think it’s quite common in all religions and much as I admit that it’s important to be in the know of what those scholarly opinions are, I guess it’s also important to go back to the basics; you spend time on your Creator, your Creator will spend time on you.

And spending time on my Creator can be as easy as reading/reciting verses of the al-Quran.

I may not fully understand the al-Quran (yet), may not read it as often as I would like or should and most times, I take its existence for granted; what good is a book left on the shelves collecting dust, right? And oh, yes, shame on me, I make excuses for not reciting it; among other excuses include – no time, I don’t even understand its meaning, work, too tired, etc. etc.

And with all those excuses, I expect my Creator to spend time on me? The fact that He’s made my life easy should already make me thankful and now I want Him to pay more than more attention to me?

Hmmm.

I guess I really have to sit down and reevaluate myself. Clearly, there is something “lacking” in my life despite “having it all” and it’s worrying me.

And because it’s actually really easy to get up close and personal with my Creator in a “no-holds-barred” kind of way, without so much of “a catch”, I’ll have to start stopping making excuses especially with the most obvious all encompassing answer to what books, articles, people, something is; the al-Quran. I was the one who said it was that easy. I guess it really is.

After all, I should always pay heed to this story,

"Suatu pagi di hujung minggu, seorang budak bernama Mikail terdengar atuknya membaca Al-Quran. Sebaik sahaja atuknya selesai mengaji, dia terus menerpa ke atuknya lalu bertanya,


“Tuk, Mikail nak tanya ni. Tuk faham tak ape yang atuk baca tadi?”.


Dengan tenang atunya menjawab, “Mestilah faham cu. Dulu atuk pernah belajar bahasa arab dengan arwah bapa atuk. Kenapa cu?”


Mikail kemudian menyatakan pendapatnya tentang membaca Al-Quran. Dia memberitahu bahawa beruntunglah atuknya itu sebab tahu membaca dan memahami isi kandungan Al-Quran sedangkan dia hanya tahu membaca tapi tak faham langsung. Jadi tak ada faedah bagi dia membaca sebab tak faham. Serupalah jugak kalau kita membaca surat khabar bahasa jerman ke atau bahasa perancis. Baca boleh tapi apa pun tak faham.


Kemudian atuknya membawa Mikail ke luar rumah. Sampai sahaja di tasik berdekatan dengan rumahnya itu, disuruhnya Mikail untuk mengambil air dari tasik itu untuk diisi ke dalam baldi di hadapan rumahnya dengan menggunakan bakul sampah.


Mikail kehairanan memikirkan apa yang disuruh oleh atuknya itu. Namun tanpa berfikir panjang, dia lakukan juga. Selepas beberapa kali cuba, dia tidak dapat mengisi air ke dalam baldi tersebut. Mikail akhirnya berputus asa. Lalu dia pun berkata kepada atuknya,


“Atuk, dah banyak kali saya cuba tapi tak boleh jugak sebab air keluar daripada bakul ni. Macam mana?”


Kemudian atuknya memberitahu,


“Begitulah juga kalau kamu membaca Al-Quran tetapi tidak dapat menghayati isi kandungannya sebab tak faham. Meskipun baldi tersebut tidak dapat diisi, tapi bakul smapah tu tadi yang kotor sekarang sudah bersih. Begitu lah juga dengan hati kamu. Selagi kamu membaca Al-Quran, selagi itulah hati kamu akan sentiasa bersih.”"

InsyaAllah, may this be a beginning to all enlightenings. Amin.

facepalm

“This is what intimacy does to us over time. That's what a long marriage can do: It causes us to inherit and trade each other's stories” - Elizabeth Gilbert

Well, fine, we've only been in this marriage for about a year. But we now have common friends whom we all get along with well and dandy and yes, we do trade each other's stories.

And because I sometimes read blogs from his laptop, he occasionally reads the same blogs too, though I know that for the life of him, he really cannot comprehend what it is that I find so interesting reading about other people's lives. He's more of the " I dig general info" kind of guy, by the way. Whereas, I am more of the "life and times" kind of person. The more personal the blog, the nicer.

But, well, still, since we share most things (and friends and blogs!) now, this is how some conversations on some days go -

"Love, sejak bila X dah tak pakai tudung? Kenapa dia dah tak pakai tudung?"

"Ermmm, I don't know, love."

"Love, sejak bila Y pakai tudung?"

"Ermmm, I tak tahu, love. Tapi bagus kan?"

But the most epic, recently (dengan penuh excited sekali!) -

"Eh, love! Proudduck dah nak kawen!"

"=_________________________="

(as if I didn't already know!)

Oh, God, suka gossip rupanya this man! Husband siapa la tu?

He's more of the the "I dig general info" type? So I thought. Hahaha.

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)