March 09, 2012

we're always dreaming in our heads.

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold
-Dishwalla

I woke up startled (very, very) early this morning. Not surprising though, considering how... startling my dream was – I dreamt that I lost my teeth. First, some of the ones at the back and then just before I woke up, one tooth on the front row came off (please look it up on the internet to see what my dream means, I’m too scared to even copy-paste it). I was quite the sight, I tell you. Scary would certainly be an understatement.

Naturally, I checked the time when I woke up. It was way too early to do anything at that point. Well, way too early if you stay AND work in Putrajaya anyways. And since I’ve ironed all our working clothes for today, even prepared breakfast, I thought I’d take a short nap. But before that, I woke my husband up though, because I needed him to charge my phone for me. Don’t ask me why he has to be the one to do it, I won’t explain. From his alarmed facial expression waking up, I must have scared him to bits.

Sorry babe, I really didn’t mean to give you a false alarm.

I attended a meeting in the morning (which surprisingly turned out well) and happy with the outcome, I thought I’d give myself a treat. In my head, I would run upstairs (obviously that’s just figurative speech, I can’t possibly run up, if still blur, please refer post below), grab my keys and head off to some place I could be alone with a book, sip on some expensive coffee and munch on the yummiest choc-bananah muffin I’ve tasted so far.

The reality?

I’d have to wait for the elevator (which doesn’t take that long really, but still), unlock the door to my room, grab the car keys, get back on the elevator, walk to the carpark (which is out in the blazing sun), put keys in the ignition, wait for the car to heat up a bit, drive myself to Alamanda, get myself a parking spot, walk to the shop to first check out if there’s actually a place for this heavily pregnant lady to land her big bum and if there wasn’t, I’d have to place my orders to-go and look for an alternative spot to spend some time with my book. And the consequence of that is that I’d probably receive multiple stares from everyone in Alamanda. Loneliness (or loners or whatever it is) aren’t perceived that well in Putrajaya, by the way. And oh, I’d have to leave Alamanda by at least 2.00 p.m. in order to arrive at the office at a decent time, find a good parking spot at the office carpark and go back up the elevator.

So there. After considering the reality against the romantic idea of spending my Friday afternoon alone with a book, expensive coffee and a muffin, here I am.

We’re always dreaming in our head. But do we all consider the reality against our dreams?

We’re always dreaming in our head. But how much can we depend on our dreams? Was my dream just a really bad nightmare, or could it be that it’s a sign? After all, people do say that, “when one comes, another one goes”. It’s like a “replacement/recycling scheme” to put it loosely.

And as much as I know that the only sure thing in life is us “going”, God Forbid, I’m not ready for that kind of dugaan. Really. No matter how bad of a person I’ve been of late, I really hope that that dream was a mere dream. Or could it be that... (??!) Okay, I won’t say it out loud, my husband would go ballistic.

Or, my dream could have meant that... next time I shouldn’t make fun of my husband’s teeth right before going to bed. Because that’s exactly what I did.

Of course, that was just my attempt at making myself feel better.

Though honestly, it doesn’t make me feel any less scared.

if I was to give in - give it up - and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one
that could make us cold 

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)

6 comments:

diya said...

hye haneesa,

it's diya again,the silent reader,remember?teheeee

don't worry too much about the dream.it's pretty normal for someone to have that kind of dream.whatever is,just think that itu adalah mainan syaitan.mimpi adalah mainan syaitan,remember?

i'm not an expert in giving advice but hopefully,you will get better.don't think too much ok?

next time,if you happen to mimpi the same dream or any,(nauzubillah),u istighfar banyak2.

take a good care of yourself and the baby.can't wait to see your baby.i'm sure that the baby will be as cute as his mama too

p/s:ada org bgtau i,at this point of time you should be ready with air selusuh,orang tua2 cakap untuk mempermudahkan masa bersalin.i think your mama mesti tau :)

Haneesa said...

hi diya! thnks for dropping by :)

and thanks for the kind words, i m really trying not to think too much about it so that i tak jadi psycho. hehehe.

about air selusuh tu, i think my mom mungkin tahu, but since she's not so much the traditionalist type, dia mmg tak prepare pun. i heard ada jugak orang kata kalau minum air tu, towards the end of labour jadi SAKIT GILA GILA hahah so tak tahu lah.

apa pun, i'm trying to equip myself with loads of doa. hopefully the baby will be healthy and happy.

will most definitely post pictures nanti :)

shueyshoelove said...

haha. so so true! i end up in the same position like yours too. mengidam macam macam tapi bila fikir reality. duduk diam diam sudah! =)

Haneesa said...

hahah. esp fridays when its so so tempting to just dash off somewhere tapi bila fikirkan crowd and parking etc... errr.... so not worth it. last last makan kat cafe je heheheh ;p

Lynn Rezwan said...

assalamualaikum dear :)
it's me for the first time! hohoho
anyway i'm soo terpanggil to drop a comment for this one cuz guess what... i have had the same dream, at almost the same pregnancy terms and with the same 'nottiness' to my hubby. Pastu same atempt to make myself feel better la juga kan... :D

anyways, i can't promise u anything as i have had a similar dream about teeth tercabut when i was small and u know wat it means and it really happened back then BUT... i can tell u wat i did to make myself feel better. I just ignored the dream and lama2 lupa... inshaAllah just believe in Allah banyak istighfar and keep thinking positive okay mommy!

anyway tak sabarnyeee nak jumpa kawan fayyadh! i pray you'd have a smooth sailing delivery inshaAllah.. amin.

Haneesa said...

Wslm dear! haluu! thnks for the kind words! i just hope that it was a bad bad bad dream sahaja and hopeful that i'll have a smooth sailing delivery! tak larat dan tak sabar tapi takut sangat at the same time heheheh :) i m sure my boy pun tak sabar nak jumpa fayyadh! :)

you take care too :)