aku.

Are you the type who can easily slip into small talk in awkward situations? Like when you're stuck in the lift with some big shot or some person you see on almost a daily basis yet don't know all that well etc. etc? Or when you see someone you have not seen for soo long?

Because I don't easily make small talk. Not that I'm snobbish or not friendly or anything; it's just that I don't really know what to say sometimes. I don't know whether or not the things/questions in my head are the right things to say/ask. Would they be inappropriate? Would they seem too personal? Would it all come out wrong? But I want to break the silence because the journey from the 10th floor down takes so long. Especially when spent in defeaning silence.


I've identified one of my problems in making small talk and one of them is that I like to talk about myself in most of my attempts. It always ends up being so very awkward! I mean, I don't really mean to seem all self-centred and everything but when you don't know what to ask/say to the other person, you just can't help but to talk about yourself. Well, at least you wouldn't be offending them or anything right (kot?).

Tsk. So much for going to Social Etiquette classes. Pfft. It's really no wonder now why I got a B-.

Among my siblings, I noticed that only my brother has this "(so-called)talent" of making small talk with complete strangers. It's amazing how he can talk to some girl he just met at the skating rink and end up knowing so much about that person in such a short span of time. It's also amazing how little that girl ended up knowing about him by the end of the day. No, he isn't a player or anything of that sort. He didn't even ask for her number. Nor did he promise happily ever after or the likes of it.


If you've met my brother before, you'd agree with me when I say that he can be quite charming. Just by being himself.

I mean, how do you people do it? I find it hard to get into a conversation with people I already know, now you're asking me to talk to complete strangers? It's amazing how one can keep on asking and asking about the other person without seeming too intrusive. And it's just amazing how some people can make others open up to them without making them feel like complete freaks.


But once my sister told me that they nicknamed one of their batchmates "Aku". Simply because she couldn't stop talking about herself. "Her sister bought this for her. Her brother is this and that. She is this and that." She just couldn't stop. And after hearing that from her, I knew that that might just be what other people are nicknaming me; for my incessant need to talk about myself all the time.


So, point is? Now, I'm trying harder to get to know other people better. Sometimes, people quote me and I wonder how they knew about that particular matter, only to realise far too late that I've been spilling beans to some random (but known) person about my plans, etc.. Still, it can be dangerous, especially if I start telling any Tom, Dick and Harry about nonsensical random stuff just to fill in an uncomfortable void when I don't even intend to disclose anything in the first place .


It's still a (quite difficult) process which I am currently going through; me having to constantly remind myself subconsciously  to "ask" and not "tell" and it may not work after all my attempts. But whatever the outcome, it feels good to not talk so much about myself in a conversation anymore. It makes me feel like I am closer to those people whom I am asking questions to as well.


I can always save all the self-centred stories for Mama to and from work ;). And of course, this blog helps too, because I'm practically talking to myself when I'm writing.


I wonder if I'm the only one facing this problem... Hmmm..


By the way, missed me? (macam dah lama tak letak gambar sendiri dalam blog ;p. Baru resolved taknak self-centred sangat, how?) Heee heeee.

Shy to comment? Well, never mind! Your reactions mean the world to me! Make me smile today :)