judgement day

You know that feeling when you’re supposed to be afraid, but for some reason you aren’t? That feeling, I think an illusion; more like a confusion of the real world and a fantasy we all hold dearly in our minds. And at the moment, I’m in that state of mind.

Judgment day is today. No, I’m not talking about the apocalypse because then, I definitely wouldn’t be writing this, would I? I’m talking about that day we all love and hate at the same time.

I can’t believe that the anxiety’s finally going to end because though these past few weeks of holidays have been a blast, I can’t deny that there has been nothing else on my mind besides today.

The thing is, I don’t really feel anything. I don’t know whether this is a good or bad thing but I feel just fine. I guess it’s also due to people telling me things I would like to hear, but didn’t want to hear when they told me. To put it simply, I was told of my performance prematurely.

And as much as I am happy, I am also afraid that my current state of mind is due to all that premature news. I’ve felt this before during my 4th semester when someone couldn’t keep a secret and told me about my results.

Know what I did? I didn’t even check my results, I went out and bought 2 pieces of Secret Recipe’s cakes to celebrate! Luckily my results were exactly what that person told me. If it were any different and worst still, worst than what I was told, I would probably have puked the cakes I gobbled down in celebration.

And right now, that’s exactly what I feel like doing. I’ve been told good things about my results and I know it’s bad, but I feel like celebrating already. After all, how can they be mistaken of my name for somebody else’s vice versa?

That’s just the problem. There are probably at least 2 more persons with my name, but a different spelling and different father, of course, and it’s not impossible to be mistaken.

So, I guess, I’m just going stay home today and read a book. I hope to be back without heartache and all smiles. Good luck to all the people out there.

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