July 17, 2014

fashion (non)sense.

I responded "Yes" for an office buka puasa which was held yesterday since about 2 weeks ago after getting the greenlight from my husband. 

So naturally, after getting home from work yesterday, I didn't prepare anything to eat at all. The plan was that we would break fast, pray and leave the house right after. Simple

Some time before we left though, my husband asked me what would be appropriate for him to wear to the function. Masa itu barulah teringat that I needed to prepare Luqman's clothes as well. 

Knowing how much Luqman idolizes his Daddy, I took out their matching baju melayus and while I was doing that, Luqman saw one of his old Upin Ipin t-shirts and insisted that he be allowed to wear it. 

Normally, I don't mind him picking out his own clothes, no matter how mismatched or horrible they are. I've read before that it is one of the ways toddlers express themselves and it is also one of the many ways they'll learn about appropriateness (or lack of) and I'm all for learning through real life lessons. But yesterday wasn't any normal day, so I really wasn't big about him having inappropriate fashion (non)sense just as we were about to attend an office event! 

Be that as it may, after much coaxing to no avail, we allowed him to leave the house clad in his midriff baring t-shirt, diapers and no pants. Yes, I repeat, NO. PANTS. 

(fortunately (for Luqman), no photo either)

In the car, we tried coaxing him again, with no such luck. Outside the car, we taunted and mocked him, but still... no such luck. So, we gave up trying and decided that he had to learn the hard way i.e. through peer pressure from meeting friends of his own age (who we hoped had some decent pants on).

You know what happened?

He sat at the table... dan buat muka seposen. On top of that, he refused the food I fed him and threw everything out the moment it reached his mouth. Knowing that that situation had the potential to develop into a full-blown tantrum, my husband picked him up and told me, "Let's leave", which we did. 

At this point, we hadn't eaten anything substantial or filling, we were hungry and angry and our patience was running low. I noticed that we began snapping at each other although we both knew that whatever it was that took place last night was due to no fault of our own. 

When we got home, we expected Luqman to further throw a tantrum of some sort or you know, like totally zonk out from fatigue or something... just to make sense out of the whole thing... but he just sat happily in front of the TV eating the sunny side up I prepared for him, and asking for more food, crackers and drinks. He even let us both eat dinner in peace (thank God I prepared some food for sahur earlier).  

Til now, his reasons for refusing to wear his baju melayu and not wanting to wear his pants are still very much lost on us. At times like this, I find myself conflicted with all kinds of emotions; between wanting to let the inner mom in me emerge and let my child express himself to his heart's content while also wanting to teach my son that some level of propriety is required in certain situations like last night, for instance.

I honestly don't know at which point in his and my life that I should expect a certain level of understanding of these kind of proprieties.. but if you see our Raya family portrait with one of us (obviously not my husband or I) either not wearing pants or not clad in his traditional baju melayu... you'd know that I (for the time being) have failed to educate my son just yet.

And to think that when I saw this, I thought that I've seen the worst.

fashion (non)sense.

*Sigh*

2 comments:

Al-Manar said...

What you have posted is about something very normal, in fact rather common. I can laugh at reading this because I faced that many many years ago, and seeing how my children are facing their children, my grands. Drop by and see my latest posting which happens to be my memory of how our children were during their early school days.

I come by chance. Selamast Hari Raya to you as a fortunate and hasppy family.

Haneesa said...

hahaha, pakcik, I think one day I will look back to this day with the same amusement ;)