snug.

"Akak dah tembam kan", said my brother who I just met last week. 

Probably not the best thing to hear after not seeing him for a while, but it was probably what I needed to hear?

Adamant that he was wrong, I told him of my new routine of climbing up and down the stairs at work daily and how my diet hasn't changed at all i.e. I am not eating more than I used to and that I drink loads of water and that I don't snack at all. 

Nonchalantly, the just told me that it's probably no longer enough. Period. 

*Sigh*

Brothers can be so brutally honest, right?

Still a little shocked (well, not really) and in denial (mostly) I turned to my husband for support. And I know because he loves me and doesn't want to hurt my feelings, he was really diplomatic about it, all the while telling me that he didn't see the "slight" weight gain as a problem at all. And to prove that I was just drowning in my own paranoia, he told me to take the weighing scale out. He stepped on it first to make sure that it was working i.e. his weight was correct, and then came my turn. 

The weighing scale no longer showed the figures 51. It showed more than 51. And since there are 2 weighing scales in my parents' house, it showed more than 51, TWICE.

"That's not so bad!", says my husband (a little too) jovially. 

Well, if it were 51.5, I would still be okay (I think) but you can probably guess by now that it's way way way more than 51 right?

So, that day was spent in alot of confusion. 

Like, seriously. 

I suggested to my brother that all that weight was probably from the muscle I was building from climbing up and down the stairs. He dismissed it as being bollocks! He just simply said that the climbing is just not enough. Not anymore. 

xxx

I know for a fact that the struggle is different for every person. And my struggle is that I have never had a problem with eating whatever I liked as long as I drank enough water daily and as long as I didn't snack, which really isn't a problem for me at all.

 But lately... I've noticed that no matter what I did... everything I put on feels a little snug. Tummy, arm, hips, butt (basically sounds like everywhere right?) and I don't know why. Well, okay maybe one of the main reasons is that I'm in the process of weaning Luqman of the B so his consumption is less... but this weight gain is really rapid, especially after I reached 51 the other day. 

And regarding exercise, I know for a fact that the thing that works best for me is actually brisk walking, but hello, let's get real here... unless I have a maid to pick up after me and complete all the housework while I'm away, I will most probably never get the time to work out. Like seriously.

When I get back from work, I take out the food I defrosted earlier for dinner. Meanwhile, I put in a batch of laundry in the machine while cooking dinner. And then, I serve dinner and later wash the dishes and clean the table and clean the kitchen. And then, I pray and I put the kettle on. And then I iron our clothes for work and pack Luqman's school bag. And then, the washing machine beeps and I hang the laundry. And then, I soak Luqman's clothes and wash his bottles. If I'm lucky, I'll get to bathe, if not, Luqman would already be hanging by my feet asking me to play with him, which I normally oblige. And he would play and play and play until his eyes cannot take it anymore (usually around 11 p.m.) and he would want his milk. And he would want me to be right there with him. Sometimes I would fall asleep with him and awaken in the middle of the night to perform my prayers. I used to be able to stay up right until morning, but my body can no longer take it so after that I sleep until Luqman wakes up again for his next round of milk, which is normally not long after. And then my day repeats. 

Oh, no, I digress. But seriously, after reading all of that, can you see me slotting in brisk walking anywhere? Nowhere?

  xxx

Because of that, I tried searching for alternative work-out ideas that might work for full time working mothers and wives like myself. I had to make sure that I got more exercise, in whatever way possible. People say that you've got to find the time, right?

And that's when I came across Freeletics Malaysia (on Instagram). 

They have this program (previously free) where they would suggest an exercise routine daily which you have to complete under a certain number of minutes. Since they also suggested a routine for beginners (I assume like myself), I decided to give it a try. 

75 jumping jacks (sounds like aerobics hari sukan to me!)

30 squats (berak pun squat kan, how hard can it be??)

30 burpees (burpees sound so cute!)

30 seconds planking (30 seconds je kecoh?)

I basically spoke too soon. I'm definitely not even a beginner!!! Definitely below par!

After I tried all of the above, not at all minding the time (except for the planking part), my body basically got a shock of it's life! Jumping jacks are no longer fun, I never knew how crazy difficult doing squats can be, there's nothing cute about burpees and those were most probably the longest 30 seconds of my life!

I didn't continue with the other routines for the days after that because my whole body ached so badly and I was suffering heartburn and was constantly gassy. I even thought I was pregnant! Yes, that's how badly I was affected and how unfit my body really, actually is!

I know I shouldn't give up just yet, but don't you think it's just too extreme for me to jump into the whole thing when I am getting zilch nada zero exercise right now? I think if I am currently exercising (even just a little bit), those routines wouldn't have been so difficult for me. I wish I could figure out a way to just slot in brisk walking somewhere in that tight schedule because I've tried my best to walk to everywhere; bank, shop, everywhere, but nothing seems to work!

Unless this means I'll be seeing double bars when my Ms P is due at the end of this month? (don't think so)...

But until then... I'm seriously bummed as to what I should do. 

Sincerely, Confused Ms Snug (size) 8.

p.s.: my journey will now be under a new label linked here!