December 31, 2015

overwhelmingly plateaued.

... is the oxymoron that 2015 was/has been, in a nutshell. 

I knew it would somehow be different from 2014 -- which is what I anticipated the moment we closed the 2014 chapter, but I frankly never ever expected 2015 to turn out the way it did. 

Not in a million years, I didn't. 

I've lost count of the many times I thought about penning the things that tickled my fancy; of the things I observed, of the things I hated, of the things I loved, of the things I thought, of the place we now call our home and of course, of my son who lights up my whole wide world with him being at my most favourite age of all -- but nothing ever came out. Not even on my scribbling paper, where I would sometimes go when I didn't have the time to log on to my account. 

Instead, I hopped around from one favourite blog to another, just marveling at how others were coping with their lives and being able to write so eloquently of their day to day on-goings. I also marvelled at how the younger ones seem to have so much youth, so much passion in whatever they were doing and most of all -- of how much humour they seem to still have in them, which I quite frankly miss and wish I still had. 

xxx

Honestly, one of the reasons why I stopped writing is because I hated the tone of my posts. 

There are so many things I should be thankful and grateful for in 2015. Like for example, despite the imposition of GST and the increasing cost of living, we still found ourselves to be relatively comfortable; we had a choice -- if we didn't like A we could always switch to B or C or so on and so forth. BUT we or rather I just couldn't make myself sound grateful for all the things I have/had. 

Yes, it's true that I may have been too busy living life to the fullest in 2015 to even have the time to write about them or to seem grateful about them through my blog posts but having been a blogger for the longest time, it never occurred to me that I would ever be bitten by the Mental Block Bug! Yeah sure, I've been bit by it before but to suffer so much from the bite and for so long after? I never in a million years thought!

xxx

Everything in 2015 seems like such a remote past to me right now. Everything in the first quarter where we were busy with our Big Move seems like such a blur and everything after that -- even more of a blur. Days passed by us in rapid speed, every single day, and yet every single day was a drag. We were overwhelmed with change, but at the same time, our changes had bit by bit plateaued.

xxx

Until, I sat at the toilet seat one day, holding the stick while I peed, wondering why my period never came (the last time it did that was some good 4/5 years ago).

And then I knew that 2016 had to be better than any of the best years we've had before.

 xxx

So, goodbye 2015, I am glad you're finally over.

And welcome 2016 -- I sure do hope that you'd be one of the better ones.


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